Flash Fiction Challenge

[BigTexan]

hiya BT, thank you

but were the pieces 'bird in the hand...' worthy do you think?

Well, honestly WSO, I'm probably a dufus, but I didn't see the "Bird in the hand" moral in your stories.

But I still enjoyed them and I thought they were good stories.

BigTexan

 

[wildsweetone]

no problem, bridget didn't see it either which means i must have messed up somewheres... perhaps i've got the meaning skewiff...

 

[BigTexan]

no problem, bridget didn't see it either which means i must have messed up somewheres... perhaps i've got the meaning skewiff...

Or maybe us Americans just don't get it!
We can be a little daft at times

BigTexan

 

[wildsweetone]

Bird in the hand is better than two in the bush... hmm i think it means that what one already has is better than what one wants.

i've looked back at the teenagers bit and it's not clear. i may play with it a little more later on and see if i can get it right.

maybe Greener Grass was way too subtle too.

what's your understanding of the phrase, please?

 

[BigTexan]

Bird in the hand is better than two in the bush... hmm i think it means that what one already has is better than what one wants.
...
what's your understanding of the phrase, please?

Hmm, I always thought it was a sure thing is better than a more attractive gamble.

But I'm far from the expert on wise fables, eh?

BigTexan

 

[TheEarl]

WSO: I didn't really see the Bird in the hand in your stories either, but liked both of them anyway.

I actually don't like that proverb. The basic meaning is: Stick with what you've got, cause if you gamble, you could end up with nothing. That's a recipe for scared mediocrity if ever I heard one.

Action makes more fortunes than courage.

The Earl

 

[KillerMuffin]

Just a note to say that I didn't just post and run with this thing. I will be back and I will give critique. It's a busy, busy week, though.

 

[wildsweetone]

hmm i need to work on them most definately! lol thanks Earl, i appreciate your comments too

i don't like the proverb much either. acceptance is a bitch.

 

[wildsweetone]

hmm well i've rewritten the Misfit piece but i've still managed to completely miss the gamble area out.

this is much harder work than i expected.

***
295 words

Misfit?

The young teenagers looked at each other.

“Where’s ya leg then?” Jonathan asked, watching his smoke ring rise.

“It’s been amputated,” Harry answered.

“But where is it?” He watched another smoke ring form, then dissipate.

“I dunno, the doctor took it away,” Harry fidgeted.

“Geez, if it was my leg, I’d wanna know where the hell it went,” Jonathan said. “How long’s it been gone then?”

“Since I was five.”

“Wow, long time.”

“Yeah.”

“How’d it happen?”

“Harry breathed deep. “A disagreement with a lawnmower. Bad. The doc couldn’t save my leg, so he took it off.”

“Did it hurt?”

“’Course it hurt.”

“Does it hurt now?”

“Sometimes.”

“Can I…”

“Can you what?”

“Nah, it don’t matter.”

“Ask, it’s okay.”

“All right then. Can I touch it?” Jonathan pointed at the stump.

Harry took another slow breath. “Yes, if you want.”

Jonathan’s eyes darted around. They were alone. His fingers touched the scar tissue on Harry’s stump.

“Yuck. It’s disgusting.”

“I know.”

Silence.

Jonathan stared intently at the tall players on the far court.

“Well then, what d’ya wanna do?” he asked.

“I dunno. What’s there to do ‘round here?”

Jonathan eyed the stump. “What can ya do?”

Harry smiled. “Same as you.” Bending, he put the prosthesis back on.

“Come on dickhead, let’s shoot some,” Harry grabbed the ball, then ran for the goal.

Jonathan’s jaw dropped. “Wow.”

Harry laughed and made the shot.

Jonathan flicked the cigarette butt away, then wheeled his chair across. A dozen teenagers joined them.

“Shit man, you can move!” he shouted across to Harry at half time.

“So can you,” Harry grinned. “Wanna be in the school Rep team?”

Jonathan looked around; spectators had lined their court. The other game’s sidelines were empty.

“Yeah I’d like that.”

 

[kiwiwolf]

one very good reason to hate cliches or whatever they're called.

okay i'll go bury myself again lol

Don't you dare Kiwi lady. Your stories rocked! Good to see you here WSO. Hope you had a great Christmas/ New Year.



Shane

 

[wildsweetone]

Gidday Kiwi

I did say howdy doody to you on another thread, i haven't a clue which one though... i tend to get around a bit

I am only going to say 'Thank God Christmas and New Year are overwith!' Now, roll on Feb 3rd when the kids have gone back to school

I am reading your story (i mentioned it on the other thread)... i have to be careful when i'm reading it because i laugh so much that people come running into the study to see what's so funny. I'm getting really quick with the mouse clicking now (giv eme another month and i'll have read it all

Thanks for your comments about the short stories, much appreciated Though I can't quite get my fingertips to type the 'Bird in the hand...' idea at all. Still trying to figure that one out.

By the way, where is your short story on this thread???

 

[curious2c]

298 words (according to word)

 

[TheEarl]

Flash: The next generation

C&Ped mostly from Km's first post.

The challenge:

1. It must be a story. There are three things that define a story, down at its skeleton. It has a beginning. It has an end--that is, it feels complete when you're done reading it. Something tangible must happen in the story, but no need for a lesson learned in this one.

2. The cap is 300 words. No more. Post word count with your flash.

3. Explain the proverb: Leopard never change their spots. Nice easy one this time, lots of ideas there.

Sex is optional, but with an easy proverb like that, do you want ot leave it out?

The Earl

 

[wildsweetone]

oh Earl, that's an interesting one. i wonder if i can mess it up like the other i'll try and write something by the end of the week. hope you're doing it too

 

[wildsweetone]

Leopards never change their spots.
255 words

“Get out damnit! I told you to get out and leave me alone!” His voice boomed out, dark and foreboding.

“I’m going, and you know something Larry, I’m bloody glad I’m going. You make me sick! You do nothing around here. I’m your glorified slave and I’m sick to death of it.” Clarissa stormed out of the house. The walls shook as the door slammed shut.

Larry watched through the heavy lace curtains as she drove off down the road, the sound of screeching tyres echoing amongst the houses. Damn, I know I promised her I’d try, but she’s delicious.

He’d kept his word for two months. This morning before dawn he had sunk his teeth into her skin again, and taken her life source. She’d felt sick and faint for hours, the worst part was he knew he wasn’t able to keep his promise to her now. He needed the nightlife, that and the red liquid that trickled down his parched throat.

He left for a month, spending his nights taking his fill and his days hidden beneath the old cathedral foundations.

He reappeared one night; she opened her sleepy eyes and found him watching her. He leaned forward and kissed her. They made love repeatedly that night, sleep arriving with a golden dawn.

He managed another month before his fangs penetrated her neck. He couldn’t help himself. He wanted release from her world, but no release came. His last life quenching drink became her final moment in life. He left her lifeless body laying on their bed, kissed her beautiful, still features and walked out vowing to die before taking another drink.

Across the road from the flat, a woman walked. Her red high-heeled shoes sparkled in the twilight…

***
okay did i manage it this time?

edited to add:
Gee whizz is it that bad? 30 views since i put it up and not one comment? okay i'm going to stick to private writing now for sure! lol

 

[Guest]

resurrected

I just thought that this thread should be resurrected. KM, we are still eagerly awaiting your reactions.

b

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

A bird in the hand

300 words (according to MS Word). I thought I'd go for a more literal interpretation:

* * * * * *

In a reflex, my right hand snatched at the object glimpsed airborne at the edge of eyesight and caught it. Opening my fingers slightly, I looked to see what I had.

In the palm of my hand was a small yellow bird. Delicate, it stayed still, trying not to move, its feathered heartbeat loud in my grasp.

I was mesmerised by my accomplishment of something I had considered impossible: I had plucked a bird from the air.

Exhilarated, supremely pleased with myself, I needed to share. I hoped someone else had seen.

Then, young and lovely, she appeared, invisible in her approach through my distraction.

“You caught it!” she said in wonder, and my moment was complete.

“It must have escaped. You can’t let it go again, it will die!” she said, “I live close. I have a cage.”

So I followed to her apartment and caged the bird again.

"It's a cock", she said, "it sings!"

I moved closer, smelling scented hair. I slipped my hand around her slim waist.

"Do you think you can catch everything in that hand?" she asked, but did not move away.

"No," I said, "but I am wondering now what I might."

"The bird is yours," I added, “I’ve done with it now, but I need something in exchange: something in a bush.” My hand moved further.

“Do you think you can buy me so cheaply?”

“I have few words left to convince you. I have done one impossible thing today and I am acquiring a taste for it.”

I moved closer, whispering into her ear as she looked at the bird in the cage, “I have given you your desire, will you give me mine?”

“Once for desire?” she teased.

“And once more for beauty!” I said, taking her and kissing her.

* * * * * *

Sorry, I'm not really interested in boring leopards who can't change their spots - I'd rather have a more interesting leopard in stripes.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

296

The Ngori Pygmies in the Bunyoro forest of central Africa name their privates after animals, for magical purposes. So in their language a penis is called a 'bird'.

So one night Nyewe is walking by his friend Uniya's hut and sees that Uniya and his wife are making love.

The Ngori are a very sociable tribe, so Uniya call out to Nyewe: "Cousin, come in and share my wife! There is room for two!"

Nyewe was horny, but when stepped inside the hut and saw Uniya buried in his wife's luxuriant pubic hair, he had second thoughts and decided just to masturbate.

"What's wrong Nyewe? Won’t you join us?"

"No," Nyewe said, " [insert punch line here]"

-------------------

The rumor going around the bandstand was that this would be the last job; the band was folding. A lot of players were pretty upset about this, and during the break the leader confronted them.

"What's going on here? You guys are playing like a bunch of apes!"

Zoot said, "The word is that you're breaking up the band."

"Who told you that?"

"I heard it." Zoot said slyly. "I think Hotlips told me."

"Well that's ridiculous!" the leader said. "Hotlips wouldn't know the truth if it stuck its head up his ass and yelled! Now let's get back to work."

"I don't know. I still believe the talk." Zoot said to the drummer. "You know what they say, a heard in the band is worth boo in the tush."


"What're you writing?"

"It's for Killermuffin's flash fiction challenge."

"Fiction? But those are jokes. Stinkers, too."

"Jokes are fiction. But I know: that's why I haven't sent them in yet."

"When's the deadline?"

"April 30th."

"You missed it!"

"Hmmm. There's a moral here somewhere."

 

[Guest]

finally....

dr_m-

finally someone picks up on my humor from months ago.

fun and silly.

b

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Changed my mind ...

300 words (by MS Word) ... the Leopard thingie:

* * * * *

Lenny the leopard felt he could do with an image change. Lenny considered himself to be one of the new breed of leopard, kinder, more caring, with a social conscience. Still not strictly vegetarian, Lenny had, however, restricted the victims of his practice manoeuvres to local vegetation.

Of course, the character of a leopard is shown in his spots. Everybody knows that. In order to really visibly change, the spots would have to go; so off Lenny went to the spot shop.

The spot salesman was a cheery man, who obviously was unfazed by the prospect of selling to a talking leopard. When Lenny explained his wish to trade in his spots for something more ‘new leopard’, the salesman produced just the right form for the transaction and proceeded to start filling it in:

"Name?"

"Lenny."

“Address?”

“Big scratchy tree, by the rocky bit.” Lenny extended his claws as he said “scratchy” to help illustrate how it came to be that way.

"Age?"

"18."

"You know we can only give refunds on spots which are less than 16 years old?"

"Oh, that's okay", said Lenny, "I'm really only...”

Lenny looked around. He felt that others were listening. "Can we talk somewhere private?"

The salesman led Lenny to a little room out the back. Two minutes later, they returned to the form on the counter.

"Age?"

"Hrmm" mumbled Lenny and winked in the way that leopards do.

“Yes.” Said the man and wrote a number in.

"Now you just need to sign this consent form." he paused, "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"What?" said Lenny.

"You need to be over 18 to give consent."

"Hmmm", said Lenny, "perhaps another word in private."

"Okay", said the salesman and off they went to the little room out the back again.

This time only Lenny returned.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I love the idea of the Spot salesman. I also am impressed that you managed to illustrate not only the maxim about a bird in the hand, but you also got in the one about a leopard not changing its spots.

But shouldn't it have been told from the point of view of the salesman? I think Lenny took a different moral from the story.

---dr.M.

 

[MathGirl]

Lenny the Leopard

Dear GL,
That was a very cool little story. I'll bet there aren't very many old spot salesmen.
MG

 

[oggbashan]

Re: Lenny the Leopard

Dear GL,
That was a very cool little story. I'll bet there aren't very many old spot salesmen.
MG

"Old Spot" is the name of a beer. How old their salepeople are depends whether they actually drink the stuff.

Og

 

[Gabriel_Lee]

Originally posted by MathGirl
That was a very cool little story. I'll bet there aren't very many old spot salesmen.

Well, how many do you know?

Originally posted by dr_mabeuse
But shouldn't it have been told from the point of view of the salesman? I think Lenny took a different moral from the story.

A good point, but I kind of think that, in order for a lesson to be learnt effectively, it is important to survive it. Also, of course, I was interested in establishing the character and motivation of Lenny.

 

[Guest]

worthy of resurrection

I really enjoyed this thread and think it should be resurrected.

Soooo...

I think the flash should illustrate the maxim: "It's always in the last place you look". And again let's keep it below 300.

b