First time swingers club advice

[LittleGreene]

So my husband and I have made the, quite frankly, terrifying (and thrilling) decision to go to our first swingers club.

We’ve discussed this for years, and have made strong boundaries and rules for this fact finding trip.

Let’s call it a dip our toes in a little and get them a bit wet………

So any advice, etiquette, knowledge 2 middle aged , well educated, socially acceptable (kind of) people on a flight of fancy should know before we go?

 

[write_or_wrong]

So my husband and I have made the, quite frankly, terrifying (and thrilling) decision to go to our first swingers club.

We’ve discussed this for years, and have made strong boundaries and rules for this fact finding trip.

Let’s call it a dip our toes in a little and get them a bit wet………

So any advice, etiquette, knowledge 2 middle aged , well educated, socially acceptable (kind of) people on a flight of fancy should know before we go?

IMHO, you're already on the right track because of all the discussion and your pre-established limits. If for the first time you only watch (together) and react, it should inform whether or not there will be a second time. There's plenty of time down the road to push the envelope and try things - a little at a time. I suggest you do everything together; wives on their own can be an easy target for single men or couples looking for an FFM threesome. That can leave your husband feeling left out and even bitter about the whole evening. Make sure you have a debrief afterward to help you decide how/whether to proceed.

 

[anniebaby10]

we went to just watch and it was so fun to be voyeurs that we ended up fucking in a chair in the lounge area while others watched. It was very exciting and we have gone to various ones around the country through the years. I always reach out to a female concierge at the hotel we are staying at to get information on the best one in the area. Was just at one in tampa called Eyez Wide Shut and it was fun. Been to Miami Velvet which was also very cool place. No one pressures you and no means no. Also no cell phones allowed and there are usually plenty of condoms or lube if you need them and almost all of them have showers and private rooms. Most places only allow couples or single females but no single males. WE have never had sex with other couples but have watched and been watched and been naked with several at a time all having sex. It is very exciting to be in that kind of atmosphere.
Good Luck!!

 

[LittleGreene]

IMHO, you're already on the right track because of all the discussion and your pre-established limits. If for the first time you only watch (together) and react, it should inform whether or not there will be a second time. There's plenty of time down the road to push the envelope and try things - a little at a time. I suggest you do everything together; wives on their own can be an easy target for single men or couples looking for an FFM threesome. That can leave your husband feeling left out and even bitter about the whole evening. Make sure you have a debrief afterward to help you decide how/whether to proceed.

Thank you so much . We won’t be going out seperate ways at all. At least not yet. We plan to watch. We have made some rules about touching if it comes up but only if we are both feeling comfortable.
We’ve heard the ‘debrief’ can be a lot of fun.

 

[LittleGreene]

we went to just watch and it was so fun to be voyeurs that we ended up fucking in a chair in the lounge area while others watched. It was very exciting and we have gone to various ones around the country through the years. I always reach out to a female concierge at the hotel we are staying at to get information on the best one in the area. Was just at one in tampa called Eyez Wide Shut and it was fun. Been to Miami Velvet which was also very cool place. No one pressures you and no means no. Also no cell phones allowed and there are usually plenty of condoms or lube if you need them and almost all of them have showers and private rooms. Most places only allow couples or single females but no single males. WE have never had sex with other couples but have watched and been watched and been naked with several at a time all having sex. It is very exciting to be in that kind of atmosphere.
Good Luck!!

Thank you so much.
We’re going on a couples only night. We’ve spoken to the venue and they suggest this night as a good one to test the waters.
And yes, it’s got a good set up by the looks of it. Lockers, changing rooms, showers
any advice on dress code? Weber been told smart casual in the social areas, anything goes in the play areas. What did you wear the first time?

 

[miska_darling]

Things will all depends on how the venue is set up, the crowd dynamic, your mood and interest on the spot, personalities, intro/extroversion, etc.

You don’t need to do anything beyond even just go to see the dynamic and whether you’re comfortable with it. So, you can just stick with each other and don’t have to jump right in the deep. So don’t try to overdo it and just absorb the atmosphere, if you’re feeling the vibe then there’s always another time.

We’ve approached it very gradually over the years.

As tips
- if you’re introverted and more likely to ‘go with the flow’, consider giving yourselves some codes so that you can check on each other’s. Something like for I’m fine with what’s going on, or I’m not keen.

- For dressing, that just depends on the place. Just whatever makes you feel sexy but also comfortable and feels like you. I would recommend her to avoid heels or such, as nothing affects the mood more than sore feet after a few hours of standing. I learned that the first time.

- Be clear about consent and be bold about making sure people ask for consent.