Finding the right RP partner…

[BackwoodsMama]

I’m curious if anyone has tips or a method they find helpful in finding the right RP partner.

I have found general conversation to be helpful, as well as reading some of their past posts.

I’d love to hear how you vet a potential partner.

 

[Jeb56]

RP can often seem mechanical to me. If a partner is teasing and witty, a straightforward naughty conversation can take delicious twists and turns.

 

[princesssexci]

When i first started I read alot and saw whose style I liked. BUT dont just read one of the writers threads, read a bunch because they could just be emulating what their partner is writing but not actually write like that at all. (Ive had that happen)


I also started my own little idea thread to see who liked my ideas and who I could just play and flirt with. Because sometimes if its easy to talk with them its easy to write with them and makes it more fun to write with that person too.

Write out what you enjoy when writing roleplays. Do you want mainly plot or do you want mainly smut? Do you want a mixture, do you like to tease and edge before jumping to sex? Thats what I tell my writing partners. It weeds out those who dont want the style I write.


I hope that helps!

 

[Melanieishere]

I’m curious if anyone has tips or a method they find helpful in finding the right RP partner.

I have found general conversation to be helpful, as well as reading some of their past posts.

I’d love to hear how you vet a potential partner.

Not sure just starting on the forums part of this site. I am glad this thread is here for learning purposes though.

 

[Iain_Mids]

I’m curious if anyone has tips or a method they find helpful in finding the right RP partner.

I have found general conversation to be helpful, as well as reading some of their past posts.

I’d love to hear how you vet a potential partner.

let me see, I guess you’re looking for someone that is imaginativ, creative, seductive but not overtly crude who can stimulate your imagination and need to flirt raising the furnace within yet someone with arms to cosset you….

 

[Sweetp4u]

My advice is the same as Princesssexci's read through some stories in SRP and see who's style draws your attention and inspires you to create, can send a PM to them or post in the lounge an idea thread and wait for responders with like minded stories and styles in mind. or both? Welcome to Lit

 

[gearhead73]

Sometimes I find that it’s difficult to find a writing partner at all. I had taken a six year break from writing hereand when I came back, there weren’t near as many writers here as there used to be. It seems writers like to stick to co-writers they know and I totally get that, but it might be fun to give someone new a chance. The worst that can happen is you abandon the thread, which can suck, but it also maybe help inspire others to write with you. Just my $.02.

 

[susurrus]

I know there are folks who avoid new writers, but everybody's got to start somewhere.

 

[Buffy47]

I’m curious if anyone has tips or a method they find helpful in finding the right RP partner.

I have found general conversation to be helpful, as well as reading some of their past posts.

I’d love to hear how you vet a potential

Alot depends on what type of role-playing do you enjoy, if you have a specific Genre that you want to RP or a very strict set of requirements then you may find it will take time to find the perfect partner. If you are just wanting to RP and fairly free Minded like I am then starting up conversations can lead to finding someone.

 

[susurrus]

Another thing I've found troublesome over the years: People who start a roleplay with you, then just up and disappear after only a handful of posts.

 

[Buffy47]

Another thing I've found troublesome over the years: People who start a roleplay with you, then just up and disappear after only a handful of posts.

Not every one is on the same wave length. So many people come to a site like this because they have a week that they are free for themselves and they super active and then they disappear when they go back home to wives or Whatever the situation was.

Super frustrating for those that are really hoping they found the Long term RP Partner

 

[Buffy47]

I'm sure we could rattle off a list of things. The biggest is just not connecting/hitting it off. Can't agree on a scenario. Only one person puts in the effort. What really hurts is connecting and having amazing role play for a few days in a row and then they just ghost you.

I think 2 people can connect but rush into the RP and then if one person is a little bit too fixated on a specific genre it can make the other person feel they are just supporting someone's fetish and its not an equal friendship/team. But having an adult conversation explaining how you feel and if the other refuses to change then yes time to walk away. But there is always a right and wrong way to stop a RP if its not working

 

[Buffy47]

Sounds like good advice thanks

 

[AmbrosiaCaress]

Ghosting...
Unfortunately it happens.
Sometimes life just happens and the person can not seem to either... get back to Lit... or get back into the writing mindset...
I have had it happen. I've been ghosted and I've done the ghosting.
One just has to accept that it may happen. Unfortunately.

 

[Matt_B]

I’m curious if anyone has tips or a method they find helpful in finding the right RP partner.

I have found general conversation to be helpful, as well as reading some of their past posts.

I’d love to hear how you vet a potential partner.

For me, it's establishing a brief connection either by way of a back and forth conversation unrelated to the RP or by way of a voice or video call to make it more personal and less just another human typing on the other side of the screen.

 

[dawnonyou]

Starting a RP that ends up being a dead end street is frustrating. I used to do a lot of rp on a chat site but soon learned that very few guys can do rp well. Also, I found myself in a story-line that not only failed to turn me on, but actually turned me off. So now I spend some time up-front getting to understand the sexual views, needs, desires and fantasies of the potential partner. And it is not just a question of whether or not I am into their rp themes but it also comes down to if they are into what I like. For example, I love doing incest rp and have found that some of my themes are a turn off to some guys. I respect that. So, if we click then go for the rp and if not wish them well.

 

[susurrus]

I ran into a situation somewhat recently where the person I was writing with felt we weren't a good match (she hadn't defined clearly the nature of the thread she wanted to pursue, so my character protested when she took the story in the direction she'd originally intended, but hadn't definitvely expressed to me), but decided to have her character wildly overrect, then run away with no logical explanation, and wouldn't talk to me off-thread about what was happening. When she did finally deign to respond to me, some significant time later, she accused me of being a predator. After some research, I discovered we'd tried rolelplaying together once before a few years ago, but the thread only lasted a couple posts. I hadn't remembered that earlier attempt, or I wouldn't have tried working with her again.

 

[DinglyDangly]

Starting a RP that ends up being a dead end street is frustrating. I used to do a lot of rp on a chat site but soon learned that very few guys can do rp well. Also, I found myself in a story-line that not only failed to turn me on, but actually turned me off. So now I spend some time up-front getting to understand the sexual views, needs, desires and fantasies of the potential partner. And it is not just a question of whether or not I am into their rp themes but it also comes down to if they are into what I like. For example, I love doing incest rp and have found that some of my themes are a turn off to some guys. I respect that. So, if we click then go for the rp and if not wish them well.

We would all like to be good at RP, I'm not sure i am, but always give it a go.

 

[susurrus]

We would all like to be good at RP, I'm not sure i am, but always give it a go.

The key isn't necessarily how good you are, but whether have good ideas that your partner can play off of... As long as who you're working with isn't complaining, you're doing fine.

 

[Lucian_Devine]

Starting a RP that ends up being a dead end street is frustrating. I used to do a lot of rp on a chat site but soon learned that very few guys can do rp well. Also, I found myself in a story-line that not only failed to turn me on, but actually turned me off. So now I spend some time up-front getting to understand the sexual views, needs, desires and fantasies of the potential partner. And it is not just a question of whether or not I am into their rp themes but it also comes down to if they are into what I like. For example, I love doing incest rp and have found that some of my themes are a turn off to some guys. I respect that. So, if we click then go for the rp and if not wish them well.

This is why I use a highly collaborative style of writing. I coordinate with my partner whenever I have questions, be it about kinks or just normal stuff, so that everything flows smoothly. Communication is just as important in writing threads as it is in any other relationship, because the thread doesn't really work if the two writers aren't on the same page.

I like knowing that readers are reading along, and try to make everything as smooth as possible for them as well, not just me and my writing partner.

~LD

 

[Biker_Faerie]

I agree communication is key both at the beginning and during the RP. At least it is for me.

But finding a kindred spirit on here is hard, I know. I’m not the easiest person to write with and I’ve tried several times get something going. Unfortunately some people don’t reveal their true character until you get into the RP As a female writer I’ve found that some of my partners have had a very misoginistic view of the relationships we’ve tried to roleplay. As if my female character is little more than their possession. Fortunately not everyone is like that.

Where it can get messy is when the RP breaks down and recriminations begin. The misogyny can really come out then, which is not at all pleasant.

What I’ve learned I think, is that you’re probably never going to find the ideal partner. So find the ones you can work with and accept that it will never be perfect (but it can be good all the same)

When I first started I only wanted to play on the board but I have found that some of the best RPs have been in private. People tend to be more honest and amenable to talking then. Although my preference if possible is always for a public RP. I like that other people can read what I write.

 

[Poprockz]

Hmm... Well, whenever I'm looking for someone to RP with, or someone comes to me and asks if I'm interested, I read some of their past posts from different threads to get a feel for what their writing is like. I can usually tell whether we're going to be compatible writing-wise that way. Though there have been people who haven't had much that I could see in their profile that I took a chance on, and I was pleasantly surprised. If we're talking basics, I would say that PMing people or responding to adds in the SRP section are my go-to. I've done the thing where you post a story and see if someone replies to it, but that can be really hit or miss.

When it comes to the person I'm writing with though, it can be trickier to tell whether we're going to be a good match or not. I like having clear communication about what the RP is going to be like. It can be fun to have a spontaneous RP that simply goes back and forth, each person being able to change the plot as they want, but I find that sometimes that results in stepping on each others' dicks, you know? Just because plot-points are discussed, it doesn't mean that the post-by-post interactions can't be engaging.

On the same note of communication, I think it's important to give your partner grace. Sometimes there are misunderstandings, sometimes things fizzle out, sometimes the other person has life-events or mental-health struggles; whatever the case is, it's important to coordinate as well as exercise patience and empathy.

Soooo... I guess if I had to break it down, I would say it boils down to:

1.) Gauging writing compatibility
2.) Gauging personal compatibility
3.) Communication
4.) Perseverance.
5.) ...?
6.) Profit

 

[Rocket1010]

There have been a lot of interesting dialogue and ideas to the question of how to find the right RP partner. I have found that communication is very important to maintain the flow of the storyline. Also you have to be flexible to accept what the other writer may want out of a story. I found laying out a rough guideline as to where the story is planning to go, helps with the creative thought process.

As most have posted, the storyline and kinks should be discussed up front and in some cases you are the lead and in other cases you compliment the other writer. Everyone has their own writing style and it's important to recognize it early on in the story. I personally like to be more detailed in describing my character's reaction to what is written by my partner. I don't care for short responses when I write a few paragraphs. And I have had some writers completely change the flow of story as if they are writing with someone else and they happen to post on your story.

I have been fortunate to have had a few long term stories and during the writing I have always told my writing partner that I understand RL issues. I have had some stories stop for a while until the other writer comes back. But I have other writers tell me they will return but never do. That to me is frustrating to put in a lot of time and effort only to be ghosted.

And I think you have to be honest with each other. I had a story where we agreed on a rough outline and we communicated quite a bit, discussing certain aspects of the story as the plot developed. Then for no reason, we were in the middle of a scene and my partner wanted to jump ahead to a future scene. Then a few posts later, they indicated they weren't feeling the story and it ended what I thought was a great storyline.

I have written many different scenarios and have kept an open mind on many different kinks (incest, love, kidnapping, group, bondage, and many more) and enjoy exploring different kinks and how my character will react.

So my thoughts on writing partners, keep an open mind, write about what you like, communicate, be honest with your thoughts and desires, and have patience with your partner. Sometimes it seems like the story is hitting a dead end but if you keep with it, you find other more interesting ideas to write about.

 

[Buffy47]

For me I've always found not rushing into the RP without understanding the full background of the idea helps, sometimes I've Roleplayed with people with a very set of needs being met where as I'm laid back and happy to RP anything, so understanding what they must have in the story helps remove that element of story going wrong direction.

If you both laid back and just want to RP then that can be easier if inexperienced.

Definitely need both to be articulate and involved, you don't want basic short sentences with every reply if you are sending well planned paragraphs.

 

[SmokingFap]

I'm new to this forum but I've RP'ed elsewhere and I have a few general rules I've developed:

• Be upfront with me. If you're seeking to RP just lay it out and say "Are you looking for RPs? I'm into _______ and not into _______ and you sounded like we might be a good match." Bonus if something you say indicates you actually read my request. What drives me mad is half a dozen messages of "Hi", "how are you," going back and forth before bringing it up.
• Know the difference between "Dirty chatting" and RP. I can't speak for everybody but a lot of people want one over the other and they're fundamentally different. If you want someone to talk to you while you masturbate, to tell you how turned on they are, etc. that's not RP. I get confused as Hell when someone tries to blend the two. It also turns me off immediately.
• Respect boundaries. If I don't want to give out personal information I'm only going to get pissed off if you keep asking. This is closely related to the point above - don't start RP'ing and then try to turn it into RL stuff.
• Say what you actually want. People who want me to RP something but wont actually tell me what it is or keep trying to nudge me into something indirectly are deeply irritating. If you are into something and want me to include it, say it. Or get used to it not being included.
• First Person and Third Person RP'ers tend to be different. First Person RP'ers tend to really want to BE their character. Third Person RPers are often more like collaborative story-writers. Third Person can be very off-putting to First Person RPers. Some people don't really seem to see much difference, however. So get perspective established early on.
• Similarly establish some expectations of length and frequency early on as well. Some people want to spend a week crafting a whole page response. Others want to have quick back and forth like it's really happening. Make sure you're on the same page (figuratively).
• Finally, a personal trigger that I can't be the only one this irritates. Never reply to my question about what you would like with "whatever you like". If you repeatedly refuse to express any preferences when I ask about what you'd like, that is not being helpful or flexible or considerate. It's being boring and it leaves me in the dark as to whether I'm doing something you enjoy or not. Nothing tells me I'm just being used to alleviate someone's boredom like not having any clear desires of your own.

This is a personal list. Maybe it doesn't work for you. But it's what works for me.

I was going to reply to this thread until I read your post. I agree with everything you said, and I'm not sure I have anything to add.