Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[Voboy]

What was the Upper Paleolithic Revolution?

It was a sex act at sailor bars in the Philippines during the 1970s. It involved a 55-gallon drum, a pulley system, a small motor, and a willing woman. Things spun.

Why does anyone enjoy golf?

 

[axelwritesonline]

Sometimes the most obvious answers are still best, to fill up holes surrounded by tended greens!

Rare, medium or well done?

 

[Bamagan]

As rare as it can possibly be, any more than that is it starts to really dry out.

Is there a general rule around proper order of operations?

Only that you never go ass-to-mouth.

Why are geese so aggressive?

 

[Voboy]

Why are geese so aggressive?

Because, like everyone else, they want to fuck ya.

Which is your preferred row in a movie theater?

 

[AlinaX]

Easier for a lover to kneel between my legs if I'm at the front.

What's the point of long skirts?

 

[PhiloDaddy]

His (sic) many licks did it really take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

I've been known to last for over an hour but it depends on how many pops I've already had.

Are you going to play with your food all night or eat it, young lady?!

 

[Bamagan]

Not all night, just until I get off, and then we can share it!

Why is there a cow in here?

 

[AlinaX]

Sorry, that's me leaking everywhere.

Why do onions make you cry?

 

[NEOhio1972]

Sorry, that's me leaking everywhere.

Why do onions make you cry?

Because they hurt getting inserted and can only be removed a layer at a time....I swear, "it was a friend of mine..."

How long has he been?

 

[MargotPayge]

Because they hurt getting inserted and can only be removed a layer at a time....I swear, "it was a friend of mine..."

How long has he been?

The longest he's been is about 7"

How do you make icecream?

 

[axelwritesonline]

I think you made a mistake in your sentence just there. Give me a few mins and I'll make you scream.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

[AlinaX]

I was doing a porn shoot at the bus stop and the chicken wasn't having any of it; sadly, a passing driver was so distracted by the scene that the chicken never actually made it to the other side - but did make a lovely roast dinner for the crew.

What is a bus stop?

 

[Bamagan]

What is a bus stop?

That's what they call it when the person collecting the dirty dishes realizes that the serving platter is actually a naked woman covered with food and immediately takes a meal break.

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me.)

 

[Rob_Royale]

It's a pleasure with a little pain. Trust me you'll like it.

Why is Oscar such a grouch?

 

[AlinaX]

He's got a hand stuck up his arse, why'd'ye think?

Why does the fat lady sing?

 

[Bamagan]

He's got a hand stuck up his arse, why'd'ye think?

Why does the fat lady sing?

Ironically, her singing is also the result of anal fisting.

How many molecules are in a mole?

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Ironically, her singing is also the result of anal fisting.

How many molecules are in a mole?

With enough lube I can fit four … no … FIVE!

How long is a piece of string?

 

[NEOhio1972]

With enough lube I can fit four … no … FIVE!

How long is a piece of string?

From your taint to your lower back....

What's all that yelling??

 

[Voboy]

What's all that yelling??

It's your mom.

What time does the show start?

 

[NEOhio1972]

It's your mom.

What time does the show start?

Soon as she strips......

Order a round?

 

[MargotPayge]

Soon as she strips......

Order a round?

Or a square. But don't be surprised if she doesn't do anal.

Where are all the wild things?

 

[Bamagan]

I don't know about all of them, but I've got one in my purse, two at home in a drawer, and I think you're using one right now if that buzzing is any indication.

How do you train a retriever?

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Stop trying to make fetch happen! He'll come when he's ready!

What's the filling in a Twinkie?

 

[MargotPayge]

Stop trying to make fetch happen! He'll come when he's ready!

What's the filling in a Twinkie?

A creamy delicious treat that you have to tease out with your tongue. mmmm.

When is it going to be done?

 

[Rustyoznail]

When is it going to be done?

As soon as you stop giving every tradie that walks through the door a blow job.

What's the forecast for tomorrow?