Fill in the blanks?

[woodgie2]

Re: Re: Re: Fill in the blanks?

Macs? Sure, we've got them. They're in the back, along with the Betamax.

Intrigued - Great thread and thank you for including me as one of your, um, subjects. (A sexy salesman? Garsh!) I have to go to work now but I may come back and have a crack at them later.

Uh-huh...

must... not... be... drawn...

must... be... behave...

must... not... rise... to... bait...

 

[Gaucho]

1) If perky baby was selling furniture and you were shopping for beds and she seductively started undressing, whispering, "here let's try it out", you would say, “Sorry, I forgot my penis pump”.

2) You need a new car so you go to the auto mall that Problem Child owns. He comes out of his office and says he wants to give you his personal attention and he will help you test drive whatever you want, you say, “Okay, but nothing in silver and black”.

3) You're taking a restful walk through the woods when you spot something moving up in a nearby tree. As you approach you see brokenbrainwave, naked and wearing fairy wings! As you get closer you can't help wondering how a penguin got wings.

4) If you wanted new sex toys and Rubyfruit was the sales lady and she offered to help you in any way, you would definitely ask her to: sign her kids up for some day care.

5) If you had Dixon Carter Lee naked and tied to a tree you would use a penis pump on his head.

6) You go to your therapist, Miss Taken, for your regular appointment and you notice today she is standing totally naked holding her clipboard and she says, "Come in and lay down on the couch. You say, ”Is it anal therapy again?”

7) If you went to the dentist and the dentist, Storm 1969, came in the room, closed the door, and said "open wide" you would be very glad that I’m sitting down.

8) If Pyper worked as a lifeguard and you saw her in the pool swimming laps totally naked you would be performing a skin flute salute.

9) If ProofreadManx worked for FEDEX and he arrived at your door and winked and said "Oh, do I have a package for you", you would say, “Not the volleyball again?”

10) You go to the gym and your personal trainer bluespoke is there awaiting your arrival. You cannot help but notice the obvious bulge in the front of his shorts as he asks you, with a smile on his face, "Which muscle group would you care to work on today?" you say, "Overdid the Haggis, did you?”

11) If you went to the video store to rent a porno, and Dreamguy001, the guy working there, offered to watch any movie you choose with you, you would definitely choose one with lots of women for him to kiss (while I snuck out).

12) If Manu was the UPS man and you knew he was delivering a package to your house today you would: make plans to visit Laurel.


14) You are sitting at Dairy Queen with ShamelessFlirt, having ice cream cones when he suddenly blurts out, "Can I lick yours? You can lick mine!", you say “Asps! Very dangerous! You go first.”

15) Housekeeping knocks on your hotel room door and you squint and notice that the sexy lady that enters, guilty pleasure, is totally naked so you quickly leap out of your bed and say, “Sorry, but I’ve got the squitters!”

16) You decide to climb to the top of the hill to star-gaze, but you find Ishmeal up there standing stark naked. He asks, "Do you see the big dipper?" you quickly reply: “Yes, and here’s Winken, Blinken and Nod.”

17) You decide to take up surfing and as you are getting in the water, you look up and see Zipman 7 coming toward you naked, carrying his surfboard, you realize salt water makes you wrinkly.

18) At a talent show one night, you see sweetsubsarahh practicing her juggling with an apple, orange, and banana. Finding it hard to juggle the three different shaped fruits, she exclaims, "I really need balls", you say “Gender envy is so passé.”

19) You are strolling around the mall and you see Raw Humor standing beside Victoria’s Secret wearing a trench coat and flashing women, you can’t help but notice his TP stuck to his shoe.

20) You are speeding down the highway when you get pulled over and a tall policeman sidles up to your car, telling you to step out of it. He has you lean up against the car for a strip search and you realize its Heavy Stick, you remember that you forgot your hemorrhoid medication today.

21) You go to court for that unjust speeding ticket and strip search, hoping the judge will arrest the cop. There sitting in the judges seat is Her Honor Cheyenne, you beg for leniency while nuzzling her nubile nubbins.

22) If juicylips were to accidentally walk in on you while you were taking a shower you would say “Why aren't you naked?”

23) If you strolled by and saw Nora in her flower bed totally naked, you would go up to her and cover her with a, um, blanket.

24) If you went to the rodeo and they advertised nude bull riding and you went inside and saw Rhys sitting on a bull and he said, you wanna ride? you would say, “Naked bulls, eh? How quaint.”

25) You take a walk around the Literotica neighborhood and you see glam naked, hiding in the bushes at sexy-girls house, peeking in her window, so you say, “Feeling Acey-Deucy today, Glammy?”

26) You are out driving around and you see freakygurl sunbathing nude in her front yard, you pull over to the curb and compliment her on her thong line.

27) If you needed to put gas in your car and you pulled up to the gas pump and Marxist came out and asked with a wink, “Want me to fill it up?” you would say, “You take rubles, right?”

Woodgie - sorry, man, but I couldn't resist.

 

[intrigued]

Re: Re: Re: Fill in the blanks?

Macs? Sure, we've got them. They're in the back, along with the Betamax.

Intrigued - Great thread and thank you for including me as one of your, um, subjects. (A sexy salesman? Garsh!) I have to go to work now but I may come back and have a crack at them later.

You're quite welcome, and I'm pleased that you responded cause you always crack me up.

Proofreadmanx, I know, I need to be in the right mood and have lots of time, and neither have happened yet.

BgMma, hiya, I'm glad you enjoyed.

 

[svenmn]

1) If perky baby was selling furniture and you were shopping for beds and she seductively started undressing, whispering, "here let's try it out", you would ask Do you launder the sheets between customers? (7 words)


3) You're taking a restful walk through the woods when you spot something moving up in a nearby tree. As you approach you see brokenbrainwave, naked and wearing fairy wings! As you get closer you can't help Yell hell there goes another 612er.


4) If you wanted new sex toys and Rubyfruit was the sales lady and she offered to help you in any way, you would definitely ask her to: test drive gynoscope vibrator while orally stimulating her (8 words)

6) You go to your therapist, Miss Taken, for your regular appointment and you notice today she is standing totally naked holding her clipboard and she says, "come in and lay down on the couch. You say I said it doesn’t work (5 words)


8) If Pyper worked as a lifeguard and you saw her in the pool swimming laps totally naked you would fall right in and drown, seriously (6 words)


15) Housekeeping knocks on your hotel room door and you squint and notice that the sexy lady that enters, guilty pleasure, is totally naked so you quickly leap out of your bed and strip just so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable (7 words)


22) If juicylips were to accidentally walk in on you while you were taking a shower you would say took you long enough (4 words)

23) If you strolled by and saw Nora in her flower bed totally naked, you would go up to her and say my what nice butterfly (5 words)

26) You are out driving around and you see freakygurl sunbathing nude in her front yard, you pull over to the curb and Stand and stutter oh my my(6 words)


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