Female feedback wanted/needed (seducing my wife....I think)

[Blue_Duck]

Good folks,
I enjoy a rather bland sex life with my wife (married for about 12 years, three kids). Over the last year, I have attempted to pay more attention to her and generally improve our sex life. One thing that I do is to have her put on one of her nices dresses and put on a "fashion show". It is sort of like dressing up, but staying home. I think she looks pretty hot when she dresses up and she seems to enjoy the sex that follows when we do this. My biggest question is this....do the girls on the board think this is something that a girl would enjoy doing? I know individual wants/desires are different but I do know there are some generalities out there too (most guys like boobs). I enjoy our fashion shows/play time. I really hope she does enjoy it too (have asked her this question and she claims she does enjoy it, but sometimes I feel like she is just humoring me). Anyway, I would love to hear back from the ladies. Thanks!
b

 

[Eilan]

I wouldn't enjoy it, but I'm not your wife. *shrug*

 

[bitchyboss]

I can see where a lady would like bring complimented for how well she looks dressed up.

 

[djyak]

Just me, but it would be better to be dressed up and go out somewhere. Not only you notice how hot she looks, but no doubt she'll notice the looks from others too, making her feel that much hotter. You might like it too!

Tifani

 

[Blue_Duck]

Just me, but it would be better to be dressed up and go out somewhere. Not only you notice how hot she looks, but no doubt she'll notice the looks from others too, making her feel that much hotter. You might like it too!

Tifani

Believe me I would love to see her reaction when other guys check her out. Sadly work and kids make those opportunities few and far between. I will work harder to get her out as it sounds like most of you guys tend to enjoy that more. Your feedback is appreciated.
B

 

[Scrubber]

I probably wouldn't go for the fashion show idea at home as I, too, would want to go out.

However, next time she needs a new dress how about you go shopping with her. Have her try on lots of dresses and do the fashion show in the store. Then buy her the nicest one, go home and take her to bed. You may find you both get a bit hot and bothered knowing what normally happens after a fashion show - being in the store where you can't do much about it (unless you are verrry daring) might add an extra frisson.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Sorry, sugar. But I have to side with all the other ladies. Putting on a fashion show for my guy wouldn't really do it for me.

But I see that you are having problems getting a chance to go out together. Have you considered swapping babysitting with some of your friends or maybe family members?

My sister has children that are the same age as mine. For a while we would swap babysitting. Once a month I would take her kids for a Friday or Saturday night and then she would do the same for me. We each got at least one night out a month.

Good Luck!

 

[Blue_Duck]

Looks like it is time to find another babysitter (old one moved away). Again, thanks much for all of your feedback!

 

[luvnmyboys]

I think the fashion show thing sounds more for the man's benefit. There are many ideas I could offer you, but I'm not sure which direction to go without knowing what interests her. In general, I think a safe bet is putting some work into seducing her. I'm super impressed when I can tell my man has put some time or effort into an idea. Talk to her and see if there is something she wants to try.

 

[bigjbowski]

Maybe try a penis extension or a sleeve.I don't know a woman alive who don't like feeling a big cock up in 'em.Maybe show her a pic of a big cock and watch her reaction and see what it is.Once you see what her reaction is you'll know if thats the way to go.Sex in public and role playing is a few other things that might help.Both are real fun.Good luck.

 

[Miles Long]

Have you done a fashion show for her? Put on a suit and strut and see what happens.

 

[Edensgarden]

I'm not sure a fashion show would do it for me either.

Unless...work with me here....

I went out shopping and got a new outfit that he had never seen. This would not only include the dress/outfit, but something new and sexy to wear underneath as well.

Once home, I could try on the new outfit and proceed to show him exactly what I had purchased. I'd slowly take everything off.......one piece at a time.

 

[njlauren]

She might be enjoying the fact that you enjoy it, are turned on, and the subsequent sex, and there is nothing wrong with that per se, unless I am in the minority we all do things to please our spouses that aren't particularly high on our list of things to do, but we do it because they enjoy it. For example, while I am okay with gardening, my spouse loves having the huge beds we have, the rose garden I made for her and so forth, so I spend a lot of time making it bloom and grow, it is a lot of work, but it really makes her happy, and that makes me happy.

It could also be a pleasure for her because with 3 kids and after 12 years of marriage, so much is about the kids and the damn routine we all have around it, and this is simply something different, something you don't have to do, for the kids, whatever

Nothing wrong with doing that, but how about returning the favor and asking her if there is something that she would love for you to do that might be a turn on....maybe going shopping with you for an outfit, and then modeling it, might work, maybe.

Speaking as someone who has faced/still faces the same thing, you need to make times to be out of the ordinary, to do other things. Find a new babysitter and spend time out, even if it is going to a dinner at a local place, or simply a walk. Talk to each other about things you would love to do, and then find ways to do things that may be similar, but more doable (for example, your wife talks about going on a cruise someday, find a day trip on a boat near you, if you happen to be so lucky).

Maybe your wife would appreciate once in a while a pamper session at a day spa, something focused on her (and you...........

Now doing erotic modeling, well, that would be something else for me *lol*.

*btw, I realized you were asking the women on here, hope it was okay to get an answer from someone who almost is/was...*

 

[BadKat135]

She probably mostly enjoys you enjoying yourself. If you make it clear that she is turning you on during these shows and she seems to enjoy it, she is either really vein which i highly doubt, or she likes seeing you get excited about her.

If you want to extend that outside of fashion shows, make it a point to touch her whenever you are close to her. Put your hand on her leg which you're driving, hold her hand, walk over and kiss her forehead out of no where, come up behind her kiss her neck rub your junk against her bum and then walk away. It will drive her crazy.

If she is like most women, she wants/needs to hear/see that you desire her, everyday.

If you aren't sure if she likes it, ask her.

 

[Subjugate_Me]

I think one of the most common complaints we women have is feeling like we are taken for granted, hence any special attention given to us by our husbands is welcomingly received. However, the attention is not a home run when it is only given without inconveniencing the husband. It seems that your wife dressing up for you at home is a convenient way for you to pay her attention, whereas asking her to dress up, then making her a candle-lit dinner at home, followed by a naked massage and then hot sex would require more effort on your part and would make your wife feel more cherished.

Mundane sex is something that definitely needs to be addressed because kids totally sap your energy and enthusiasm. My husband and I explored new areas of sex by discussing our deepest darkest desires without judgement which led to more adventurous sex and now has us feeling like teenagers again.

Good luck and top marks for recognising and addressing the issue!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The trouble today is boredom.

Good sex requires you to feel heart stopping panic and terror about half the time. That rarely happens these days, as the government has dulled your edge to keep you from cutting yourself or others. In fact, life is so sedate nowadays that it sets young people up for emotional trauma when they go to war and brush against Real Life.

 

[HoneyFortune]

Good folks,
I enjoy a rather bland sex life with my wife (married for about 12 years, three kids). Over the last year, I have attempted to pay more attention to her and generally improve our sex life. One thing that I do is to have her put on one of her nices dresses and put on a "fashion show". It is sort of like dressing up, but staying home. I think she looks pretty hot when she dresses up and she seems to enjoy the sex that follows when we do this. My biggest question is this....do the girls on the board think this is something that a girl would enjoy doing? I know individual wants/desires are different but I do know there are some generalities out there too (most guys like boobs). I enjoy our fashion shows/play time. I really hope she does enjoy it too (have asked her this question and she claims she does enjoy it, but sometimes I feel like she is just humoring me). Anyway, I would love to hear back from the ladies. Thanks!
b

She's humoring you. I think I might punch my man (not really, but i'd visualize it) if he suggested I get dressed up after I shuttled three kids to soccer and music lessons AFTER putting in a full day at the office.

You may be working on your sex life, but it appears it's focused on your needs, not hers. I bet she'd like to be dropped off at a pedi salon, picked up and taken to dinner, then take her home and seduce her with a bottle of something nice and a kid-free house. That's the stuff women want. Or how about three hours without ANYONE asking her for anything. And five minutes to pee alone. Like another poster said, mothers (especially working mothers also carrying the financial load) are taken for granted and it is extremely easy to squash sexual urges through a stress-fueled haze.

 

[Blue_Duck]

Appreciate all the replys. We secured a babysitter the other night and enjoyed a great night out (and stayed out all night!). She bought a new dress and panties for our date. I did not think of getting her a pedicure before heading out for the evening....seems like that is a popular option for the ladies. At anyrate, we both had a great time. Again, thanks for your feedback!

 

[NightL]

In fact, life is so sedate nowadays that it sets young people up for emotional trauma when they go to war

Uncle NOJIZZINYAJOHNSOON you are truly one cowardly and lonely person. Couldn't you keep up with the GB nonsense any more? Were they all too much and running circles around you? Your wit failing these days? Not as sharp as you used to be or were you always fixated on your own excretions?

I suppose for you it is nothing that a bit of wife beating won't fix? Makes a man and puts the wife in her place.

Never say never Old Hoss.

I think I'd been married 2 months when a guy at work damned near cut my thumb off when he accidentally pushed a piece of stainless steel thru it. Lotsa stitches. Hurt like a Mo Fo. So my wife gets pissed at me for whatever and pushes my thumb back to my wrist. Oh My!

I can see it now. My left comes up and nails her so hard she went flying, landed on the bed, and it collapsed. I can still feel the pain in my thumb 40 years later. It was like the Disney ride, WORLD OF SHIT.

Of course going to war should be a cup cake in the park with sprinkles on top.

 

[HoneyFortune]

Good folks,
I enjoy a rather bland sex life with my wife (married for about 12 years, three kids). Over the last year, I have attempted to pay more attention to her and generally improve our sex life. One thing that I do is to have her put on one of her nices dresses and put on a "fashion show". It is sort of like dressing up, but staying home. I think she looks pretty hot when she dresses up and she seems to enjoy the sex that follows when we do this. My biggest question is this....do the girls on the board think this is something that a girl would enjoy doing? I know individual wants/desires are different but I do know there are some generalities out there too (most guys like boobs). I enjoy our fashion shows/play time. I really hope she does enjoy it too (have asked her this question and she claims she does enjoy it, but sometimes I feel like she is just humoring me). Anyway, I would love to hear back from the ladies. Thanks!
b

How is it going now? Did any of the advice work? Curious minds and all that.

 

[SkylarFalling]

There are lots of good points here. Firstly that it is entirely possible she does enjoy it, because it turns you on (I enjoy doing things not because I really enjoy them but because if he is turned on enough it helps me get going) but like others said this is finite because she will feel deserving of something in return.

Getting dressed up is of course far more entertaining when there are other men there to be jealous of you, and that is attention for her, which is good. Stuff like heading to changing rooms together is always good.

Stress is a big part. If she is stressed, that needs to be dealt with first - its very hard to handle sexual feelings on top of everything else and its easy for it to get added to her list of things people want from her, r.e. her time resources and energy. Of course there is the added bonus that if you can work together to get stuff done more, you have more shared free time for fun stuff!

Pampering is important Some of it shouldn't be sexual, she doesn't want to feel like you're only doing it for sex. But if you really wanna put an evening on then like the others said, you dress up! Being served dinner by a very nearly naked husband is marvellous.

Good luck.

 

[Julietravels]

I enjoy dressing up for my husband, but in something I would not wear in public, like a crazy short and tight dress or a school girl outfit. Also, I like it when we are being playfull and he rips my panties off, but not new ones.

 

[NotHisLady]

I'm reading all of this and thinking I must be very (um) unique.
This notion of playing fashion model, I have to agree that doesn't do much for me in its simplest form but somewhere between that initial post and a few things I've seen in some really bad old movies has inspired something in my mind. Something that has actually gone on my "gotta do" list.

Imagine having him undressing me from my plain, everyday clothes. Not doing this carefully but stripping them off and tossing them in a pile on the floor.
Afterwards he helps me to carefully step into the fragrant bath he has prepared for me and proceeds to bathe me. He washes my hair--gently massaging my scalp. He uses a soft cloth on every inch of skin, is slow and thorough and methodical. Carefully, oh so carefully he begins at my ankles and shaves my legs up over my calves, past my knees and beyond my thighs until I am smooth and bare below the waist.
From the bath I'm wrapped in thick soft towels, my body dried and my favorite lotion applied to my skin.
A few moments with the blow dryer and my hair is fluffy and soft.
Then he leads me into the bedroom where there are a variety of garments arrayed on the bed.
As I choose, he dresses me--stockings, garter belt, panties, shoes and a dress over it all and jewelry to finish it. Maybe he will even take up the small brushes and paint my lips or my eyes. Finally the comb will sweep back my hair so that it can be clipped in place.

Now he can appreciate his creation.

The camera comes out and he takes pictures from every angle and at every stage as the process is undone. Until at last we are both part of the pretty mess at the end.


I can't say I would be much of a one for playing dress up but I do believe I could get right into a game of "let me dress you."

 

[Que]

^ I like. Very "Pretty Woman".

I recall at a young age being castigated (but not, fortunately castrated) by my apoplectic mother who found that I had undressed my older sister's barbies. (for years I thought girls simply weren't issued genitals..but I digress)

Long complicated story about some early fun like you describe above in my marriage to a reluctantly girly-girl that cleaned up well if you helped her put in the effort.

Years of stagnation, then re-birth and a pretty mutually satisfying time as she closed in on middle age and wanted to get fit and her self esteem rose, and like that.

These days, now single, I find it easier to find a youthful girly-girl and play life-sized Barbies. It is pretty fun.

It is interesting to me how they light up with a playful thrift store date. This is slightly easier to pull off around Halloween, but birthdays and occasions work too. It helps also that I am known for being a bit counter-fashion. At my age you are allowed to pick a decade that works for you.

I once got a date with a girl as I was browsing the party-dress section of a large metro Goodwill to take a couple of dresses to the smaller-metro town for the two friends I was going to spend New Years with.

This girl was a Chinese National With a Dallas accent in a t-shirt and jeans and tennies with no make-up. I was thinking she would clean up well. As we talked at first she wanted in on the trip 90 miles south, but begged off a week later and offered an alternative local venue the day or two before.

So I go to meet her and she is stunning. She needs to run an errand...we end up at Saks in the most expensive mall in the state where she knows the entire shoe department staff on a first name basis. They were holding some high fashion boots for her that had just come in.

Turns out little rag-a-muffin is among other things a model. Too short for high-fashion, she plays the Asian mom in home-builder ads, the Asian girlfriend in casino ads, does some catalog work. So playing dress-up is something I definitely recommend.

 

[NotHisLady]

^ I like. Very "Pretty Woman".


These days, now single, I find it easier to find a youthful girly-girl and play life-sized Barbies. It is pretty fun.

So playing dress-up is something I definitely recommend.

I was getting the feeling I liked you.

Seems I was right.