Fear

[the captians wench]

You have to admit, it's still *different* from being in Ireland and him doing it to you.

No matter what, those things are not identical experiences. *as intense* sure, but they're not the same.

A lot of my relationship is very verbal heady and conducted over the phone. Still different when I'm there.

I do have issue with people saying "go for the gusto" who have not been in other people's hands. Even more so with "hell to the no no one beats me" tops than for bottoms who haven't managed to do it IRL, but that's just me.

You're right, it is different in ways. I thought I said I agree it's different, maybe not.

And I do agree, I keep my advice limited to areas I have experienced. I was just lucky enough to be going through the online relationship stuff at the same time as the "oooh can you hit me with that?" stuff. They are two completely different sinsations, but maybe I'm a bit jaded because they happened at the same time for me.

 

[nh23]

You're right, it is different in ways. I thought I said I agree it's different, maybe not.

And I do agree, I keep my advice limited to areas I have experienced. I was just lucky enough to be going through the online relationship stuff at the same time as the "oooh can you hit me with that?" stuff. They are two completely different sinsations, but maybe I'm a bit jaded because they happened at the same time for me.

I think your situation is not quite as serious as I was describing. I'm not making it personal about adakgirl either. I would say the same to anyone. I you wenchie, but if you'd never had r/l painplay and were offering the same advice I'd have said the same thing. Am I making sense anymore?LOL

 

[Betticus]

This is possibly a bad title for this post, but bear with me.

I just wondered if anyone else is ever afraid of their desires. Well, maybe "afraid" is the wrong word. Do any of you ever shy away from your wants? Or is this some n00b thing that I never worked through five or six years ago when I got started?

Should I elaborate a bit? I always feel like I write too much in my initial posts and overwhelm everybody.

Yes, of course.

 

[intothewoods]

I do not need r/l experience in the BDSM lifestyle in order to safely offer this advice. This advice holds true in any kind of situational fear.

You need r/l experience for your advice on r/l s&m to have any credibility.

It's the same as me saying, hey, you want to get beaten with canes until you're bloody? Just bite the bullet. I've been beaten with canes, but not at the level some masochists have been beaten. No big deal. I'm not a hardcore pain slut. So I don't give hardcore pain sluts advice about how to grit their teeth and bear it. I may say, an analogous situation for me is x, and this is how I dealt with it. It may be helpful and it may not be. But at least the person knows where I'm coming from.

 

[the captians wench]

I think your situation is not quite as serious as I was describing. I'm not making it personal about adakgirl either. I would say the same to anyone. I you wenchie, but if you'd never had r/l painplay and were offering the same advice I'd have said the same thing. Am I making sense anymore?LOL

Awe you me? *giggles*

I know what you're saying, I've just always had a hard time processing it because I relate it to myself. Maybe not so much anymore as I've had a lot more experience, but I haven't seen this topic on here in a while.

I wouldn't give advice on suspention, for example. It's something I'm interested in and something I'd love to try, but other than reading about it and watching vids I have no experience. So yes i get what you're saying.

 

[Adakgirl]

I do still have a problem with it. I think your advice to Bunny falls in the category where it could be hurtful or dangerous.

I thought about what you have said to me and though I didn't like it and attempted to defend my right to contribute to this forum. I was wrong to do so. You are absolutely correct nh23. I agree with you on this. I sincerely apologize to you BiBunny. I'm sorry.

Also, I did not think you were being a bitch nor did I call you a bitch for saying what you believe to be true.

 

[nh23]

I thought about what you have said to me and though I didn't like it and attempted to defend my right to contribute to this forum. I was wrong to do so. You are absolutely correct nh23. I agree with you on this. I sincerely apologize to you BiBunny. I'm sorry.

Also, I did not think you were being a bitch nor did I call you a bitch for saying what you believe to be true.

I appreciate the apology, although the sarcasm in easternsun's thread makes it insincere I'd say.

I have no desire to talk to your online Master as per your PM. If he has a problem with your actions or doesn't that's none of my business. Nor do I care. It's not up to me to handle you. I have no idea why he would want me to email him.

I also have no desire to PM back and forth.

 

[Adakgirl]

He does not have a problem with my actions ..he has a problem with your actions. I was simply doing what he told me to do and that was to tell you that If you have a problem with me, the place to take those concerns is to him and he will discuss them with you. If you have no desire to do that then that is your choice, however I strongly suggest you do not piss him off any further by making derogatory judgments and negative statements about me.

 

[the captians wench]

He does not have a problem with my actions ..he has a problem with your actions. I was simply doing what he told me to do and that was to tell you that If you have a problem with me, the place to take those concerns is to him and he will discuss them with you. If you have no desire to do that then that is your choice, however I strongly suggest you do not piss him off any further by making derogatory judgments and negative statements about me.

Not for nothing, but I never have understood this concept.

If some one has a problem with something I've said or did, Jounar doesn't want them to come tattle on me to him. He'd rather we hash it out ourselves and leave him out of it. He's more likely to tell some one to go fuck off if they go complaining to him about me than he is to try to resolve the matter by discussing this person's issues with me.

*shrug* is this really just another way to objectify the pyl?

 

[HisSexyPet]

As Adakgirl stated, her Master doesn't have a problem with her behavior he has a problem with nh3's responses.

Everyone here keeps beating Adakgirl up for the one sentence in her reply about "biting the bullet" yet no one has mentioned the condition she set it in "Thats where your trust has to come in..you don't have to trust yourself, just to trust that they will know when to stop. " Confronting her fears in the hands of her Owners who love her and cherish her and know her.

And before you jump all over me, yes, B and I have had "real life" experiences with each other. But who is to say that online experiences are not real?

 

[Netzach]

As Adakgirl stated, her Master doesn't have a problem with her behavior he has a problem with nh3's responses.

Everyone here keeps beating Adakgirl up for the one sentence in her reply about "biting the bullet" yet no one has mentioned the condition she set it in "Thats where your trust has to come in..you don't have to trust yourself, just to trust that they will know when to stop. " Confronting her fears in the hands of her Owners who love her and cherish her and know her.

And before you jump all over me, yes, B and I have had "real life" experiences with each other. But who is to say that online experiences are not real?

They are different.

If someone says to me, "do you mind telling me your resume regarding the item you just offered advice on?" far be it from me to cop a 'tude or call my Master or make it personal.

I'm with nh here. 100 percent.

A long time ago, I was an online only person and defensive about the emotional veracity and sanctity and blah blah of everything. And I can say now, unequivocally, I was full of fail.

I had some valid insights and some good ones, but I had no valid insights regarding someone whose peeps have their hands on her, who literally is making garden hose movies regularly. They're not invalid thoughts, but when it comes to someone in a RL situation they're not entirely *relevant* thoughts.

Things which are easier IRL are harder in a distance relationship too. It's not a dis, it's just the nature of reality.

 

[HisSexyPet]

They are different.

If someone says to me, "do you mind telling me your resume regarding the item you just offered advice on?" far be it from me to cop a 'tude or call my Master or make it personal.

I'm with nh here. 100 percent.

A long time ago, I was an online only person and defensive about the emotional veracity and sanctity and blah blah of everything. And I can say now, unequivocally, I was full of fail.

I had some valid insights and some good ones, but I had no valid insights regarding someone whose peeps have their hands on her, who literally is making garden hose movies regularly. They're not invalid thoughts, but when it comes to someone in a RL situation they're not entirely *relevant* thoughts.

Things which are easier IRL are harder in a distance relationship too. It's not a dis, it's just the nature of reality.

I didn't say the were not different. I said they are as real. Real emotions, real feelings. Online relationships are a real to the people involved as people who actually touch each other physically. To demean an online relationship makes me mad.

Should everyone who posts put the resume in their signature line so that you know their backgrounds? That is what is coming across to me. That one shouldn't give advice without stating their credentials so that anyone that stumbles upon a post will know your background.

I have been in both an online and r/l relationship with the same person. One is just as real as the other, in my case.

Things are easier and harder in each and every interpersonal relationship. Should that keep everyone from posting? Isn't a free exchange of thoughts and ideas what forums are about? It is up to each person to evaluate the advice. Research the advice giver to weigh the merit of their advice.

 

[MisterSir]

I didn't say the were not different. I said they are as real. Real emotions, real feelings. Online relationships are a real to the people involved as people who actually touch each other physically. To demean an online relationship makes me mad.

Ehhhh. I understand online relationships are real, particularly if those involved in them genuinely don't have the ability to bring it into the real world, but real world stuff...by definition, it's gotta be more real than something that doesn't take place in what I believe is called me******* by some MMO players. Just my 0.0000167251 XPT, note.

 

[Netzach]

I didn't say the were not different. I said they are as real. Real emotions, real feelings. Online relationships are a real to the people involved as people who actually touch each other physically. To demean an online relationship makes me mad.

It's not demeaning something to call its relevancy into question.

"I have been in both an online and r/l relationship with the same person. One is just as real as the other, in my case."

I have too. And in my case, building a life based on mundane time, not merely focused specific interactions is a fuckton harder of an order. No amount of videoconferencing, phone calling, and email is the same freaking thing.

Just letting go and trusting people who you've seen at their worst, not their edited best, is night and day different. Period.

 

[intothewoods]

It's not demeaning something to call its relevancy into question.



I have too. And in my case, building a life based on mundane time, not merely focused specific interactions is a fuckton harder of an order. No amount of videoconferencing, phone calling, and email is the same freaking thing.

Just letting go and trusting people who you've seen at their worst, not their edited best, is night and day different. Period.

Agreed, and I also don't think nh was out of line. As I said earlier, it's not like a person with online experience has nothing to add to a conversation or can never speak their mind. It's that your experience is what informs your advice, so it's only fair for people to know that.

As for please contact my anyone, that shit drives me insane. But I don't like, please ask my PYL for permission to speak to me first either. Many people do it and that's cool. But it's just like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Oh, also, I too was online only in the beginning and the reality did not compare for me. This isn't particularly a D/s thing though. Any long distance relationship is going to be different than a typical dating relationship. Also, living together is different from living down the street from each other. It just is.

 

[nh23]

He does not have a problem with my actions ..he has a problem with your actions. I was simply doing what he told me to do and that was to tell you that If you have a problem with me, the place to take those concerns is to him and he will discuss them with you. If you have no desire to do that then that is your choice, however I strongly suggest you do not piss him off any further by making derogatory judgments and negative statements about me.

Lmao. What's he going to do? Give me an e-spanking? That's the most immature and childish post I've ever seen in my life.

 

[BiBunny]

They are different.

If someone says to me, "do you mind telling me your resume regarding the item you just offered advice on?" far be it from me to cop a 'tude or call my Master or make it personal.

I'm with nh here. 100 percent.

A long time ago, I was an online only person and defensive about the emotional veracity and sanctity and blah blah of everything. And I can say now, unequivocally, I was full of fail.

I had some valid insights and some good ones, but I had no valid insights regarding someone whose peeps have their hands on her, who literally is making garden hose movies regularly. They're not invalid thoughts, but when it comes to someone in a RL situation they're not entirely *relevant* thoughts.

Things which are easier IRL are harder in a distance relationship too. It's not a dis, it's just the nature of reality.

Ok, I agree 100% with your post, but the bolded part made me nearly fall off my bed laughing. Bwahahahaha!

 

[MisterSir]

He does not have a problem with my actions ..he has a problem with your actions. I was simply doing what he told me to do and that was to tell you that If you have a problem with me, the place to take those concerns is to him and he will discuss them with you. If you have no desire to do that then that is your choice, however I strongly suggest you do not piss him off any further by making derogatory judgments and negative statements about me.

Lmao. What's he going to do? Give me an e-spanking? That's the most immature and childish post I've ever seen in my life.

Children, please. Stop fighting or we'll turn the hose on you.

 

[Netzach]

Ok, I agree 100% with your post, but the bolded part made me nearly fall off my bed laughing. Bwahahahaha!

Excellent.

 

[ownedsubgal]

ooooooh sookie sookie now!

 

[nh23]

As Adakgirl stated, her Master doesn't have a problem with her behavior he has a problem with nh3's responses.

This does not effect my life in any way shape of form. I don't give a fuck. His perception of my responses is in that list of things I will never give a shit about. If I have a problem with Adakgirls responses due to a lack of r/l experience, why in the world would I give a shit what her online Master thinks about anything.

 

[nh23]

Children, please. Stop fighting or we'll turn the hose on you.

Suck a fat one.

*giggles*

 

[nh23]

And before you jump all over me, yes, B and I have had "real life" experiences with each other. But who is to say that online experiences are not real?

I never said online relationships aren't real. I honestly don't care. I've never been in one and have no desire to be in one. They are however not the same thing. Offering advice on something you've only read about or chatted about is talking out of your ass.

They are different.

If someone says to me, "do you mind telling me your resume regarding the item you just offered advice on?" far be it from me to cop a 'tude or call my Master or make it personal.

I'm with nh here. 100 percent.

A long time ago, I was an online only person and defensive about the emotional veracity and sanctity and blah blah of everything. And I can say now, unequivocally, I was full of fail.

I had some valid insights and some good ones, but I had no valid insights regarding someone whose peeps have their hands on her, who literally is making garden hose movies regularly. They're not invalid thoughts, but when it comes to someone in a RL situation they're not entirely *relevant* thoughts.

Things which are easier IRL are harder in a distance relationship too. It's not a dis, it's just the nature of reality.

Thank you! and ditto.

Agreed, and I also don't think nh was out of line. As I said earlier, it's not like a person with online experience has nothing to add to a conversation or can never speak their mind. It's that your experience is what informs your advice, so it's only fair for people to know that.

As for please contact my anyone, that shit drives me insane. But I don't like, please ask my PYL for permission to speak to me first either. Many people do it and that's cool. But it's just like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Oh, also, I too was online only in the beginning and the reality did not compare for me. This isn't particularly a D/s thing though. Any long distance relationship is going to be different than a typical dating relationship. Also, living together is different from living down the street from each other. It just is.

Yep

 

[MasDom]

Lmao. What's he going to do? Give me an e-spanking? That's the most immature and childish post I've ever seen in my life.

This does not effect my life in any way shape of form. I don't give a fuck. His perception of my responses is in that list of things I will never give a shit about. If I have a problem with Adakgirls responses due to a lack of r/l experience, why in the world would I give a shit what her online Master thinks about anything.

Suck a fat one.

*giggles*

I never said online relationships aren't real. I honestly don't care. I've never been in one and have no desire to be in one. They are however not the same thing. Offering advice on something you've only read about or chatted about is talking out of your ass.

Thank you! and ditto.

Yep

I am nh23's Master MasDom, and I approve of these messages.

Paid for by the Bunny and Kitty foundation of America.

 

[nh23]

I am nh23's Master MasDom, and I approve of these messages.

Paid for by the Bunny and Kitty foundation of America.

*giggles* Fuck you're rotten.