Exploding nipples???!!
- Thread starter islander01
- Start date
Sing with me guys!!!
(Sung to "The Ballad of the Beverly Hillbillies")
Ballad Of The Bobbitt Hillbillies
Here's a little story of a man named John
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife
Pecker that is,
Rodeoed, fillet food
Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend
Curve, that is
Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air
Found, that is
By a fence, evidence
Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick-doc said "Hey, I can fix your dong!"
A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need
Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed
Whizzed, that is
Stitched seam, straight stream
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
Video, that is,
Unexposed, case closed
(Sung to "The Ballad of the Beverly Hillbillies")
Ballad Of The Bobbitt Hillbillies
Here's a little story of a man named John
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife
Pecker that is,
Rodeoed, fillet food
Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend
Curve, that is
Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air
Found, that is
By a fence, evidence
Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick-doc said "Hey, I can fix your dong!"
A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need
Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed
Whizzed, that is
Stitched seam, straight stream
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
Video, that is,
Unexposed, case closed
islander01
Nipple Inspector
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cookiejar said:
Muahahahaah I wonder how old Neil Diamond is feeling now 
islander01
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AME said:
Cookie!I think she just signed up
islander01
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Actually where she is from the rain falls mainly on the sheep lolcookiejar said:"By God I think she's got it!!"..."The Rain in Spain..."
I wonder how many women on Lit watch "Lifetime TV?" I found this on a "Rants" website...LOL
Now what I don't get about Lifetime is it's "Television for Women", yet everything you see on the network is basically some broad getting slapped around by her husband. I don't see what the fuck is so empowering about a woman getting beaten over the head with a lamp several times?
I will now give you the basic plot of all movies on Lifetime...
A woman (lets call her Pam). Pam lives a regular suburban life with her loving husband and possibly kids. One day, her husband gets pissed at her because the meatloaf is undercooked or something and beats the living shit out of her. Because Pam is a woman, she can think for herself and decides to sue her husband. A bunch of real dramatic shit happens that's boring as hell then she wins the case (like you didn't see that one coming). How fucking empowering! She could've just settled this in the beginning and kicked her dumbass husband right in the balls but instead sues the guy. What Lifetime is teaching us is that women are weak and as long as they can't sue us, we can beat the shit out of them whenever we want.
Now to be fair, if my woman ever undercooked my meatloaf, I'd throw my beer bottle at her and tell her to put that shit back in the oven. While she's doing that I'd look for more things to throw from my lazy boy. I don't put up with that shit.
One of the weirdest things about Lifetime to me is that the show Unsolved Mysteries is on it. I understand reruns of the Golden Girls and stupid shit like that, but why the hell is Unsolved Mysteries on it? If anyone can tell me I'd like to know because I'm clueless.
Robert Stack...the only thing on Lifetime without a pussy.
http://www.bitterthoughts.com/stack1a.gif
Now what I don't get about Lifetime is it's "Television for Women", yet everything you see on the network is basically some broad getting slapped around by her husband. I don't see what the fuck is so empowering about a woman getting beaten over the head with a lamp several times?
I will now give you the basic plot of all movies on Lifetime...
A woman (lets call her Pam). Pam lives a regular suburban life with her loving husband and possibly kids. One day, her husband gets pissed at her because the meatloaf is undercooked or something and beats the living shit out of her. Because Pam is a woman, she can think for herself and decides to sue her husband. A bunch of real dramatic shit happens that's boring as hell then she wins the case (like you didn't see that one coming). How fucking empowering! She could've just settled this in the beginning and kicked her dumbass husband right in the balls but instead sues the guy. What Lifetime is teaching us is that women are weak and as long as they can't sue us, we can beat the shit out of them whenever we want.
Now to be fair, if my woman ever undercooked my meatloaf, I'd throw my beer bottle at her and tell her to put that shit back in the oven. While she's doing that I'd look for more things to throw from my lazy boy. I don't put up with that shit.
One of the weirdest things about Lifetime to me is that the show Unsolved Mysteries is on it. I understand reruns of the Golden Girls and stupid shit like that, but why the hell is Unsolved Mysteries on it? If anyone can tell me I'd like to know because I'm clueless.
Robert Stack...the only thing on Lifetime without a pussy.
http://www.bitterthoughts.com/stack1a.gif
islander01
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AME said:
Hobbits! I meant Hobbits
somehow that seems even pervier( pervier??)
islander01
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Sheepherder? I hardly know hercookiejar said:A paradise for you...ever think of becoming a sheepherder?
islander01
Nipple Inspector
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Nice Tangent!!!cookiejar said:
You forgot about theyre crappy sex scenes that dont even give you enough to imagine about
islander01
Nipple Inspector
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Agatha is a wicked perv you sure about that?AME said:
islander01
Nipple Inspector
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acck Im here Im here "september morn"...acckcookiejar said:
