Esoteric positions - overrated?

[SamanthaBehgs]

When I was a younger lass, my then boyfriend (now Husband) and I would have fun trying out all of the random positions we found online. Did they always work? Nah, they rarely did. But we had fun trying and laughing about our failures and enjoying each other regardless. And every once in a while, we found one that worked, so, yea, I'm not sure I'd say they are overrated so much as maybe overemphasized (like, you don't have to have some sort of magical position to be enjoying yourself)

 

[EmilyMiller]

When I was a younger lass, my then boyfriend (now Husband) and I would have fun trying out all of the random positions we found online. Did they always work? Nah, they rarely did. But we had fun trying and laughing about our failures and enjoying each other regardless. And every once in a while, we found one that worked, so, yea, I'm not sure I'd say they are overrated so much as maybe overemphasized (like, you don't have to have some sort of magical position to be enjoying yourself)

I’ve had such a sheltered life…

 

[Djmac1031]

I’ve had such a sheltered life…

yeah. uh huh. Sure.

 

[WittyUserName]

I keep getting schematics of different positions appearing in my BlueSky feed. I’d post an example here, but that would breach the new image rules.

But they are all kinda bizarre and nothing that I’ve ever tried, or frankly want to. Some look downright uncomfortable for both parties. And the names? ‘Hammer of Thor,’ really?

I get that anatomy varies and what works for some doesn’t for others, but I think these recherché positions look like something made up by two guys playing with their Ken and Barbie dolls (or maybe Ken and Ken ).

I mean, we read erotica for the fantasy, so I did have a confident outgoing woman buy a book of positions to try with her nerdy boyfriend. It's fun. But, it's a fantasy. Real life? Nah. It's like shower sex, sounds hot in theory, but it's more trouble than it's worth. It can be funny to try them out just for the heck of it, but most don't work or require you be in much better shape than I am!

 

[EmilyMiller]

It's like shower sex, sounds hot in theory, but it's more trouble than it's worth.

I know someone who broke a their parents’ shower doing just that with their then BF.

 

[WittyUserName]

I know someone who broke a their parents’ shower doing just that with their then BF.

I've never broken anything while having sex. Although the wife and I were play-wrestling and my butt went through the plaster in the wall. We were fully-clothed at the time, so it doesn't quite count!

 

[EmilyMiller]

I've never broken anything while having sex. Although the wife and I were play-wrestling and my butt went through the plaster in the wall. We were fully-clothed at the time, so it doesn't quite count!

Never have I ever…

 

[Levorotatory]

1. Missionary
2. Cowgirl
3. Doggie
4. Standing
5. Spooning
6. The one which I don't know the name of but involves us pendicular, him.lying on his side and pusing down into her and her with a leg over his thigh. My wife and I do this all the time.

I agree with there not being that many and some being ridiculous. I'm interested how many positions there actually are and how many variations. Do real people actually regularly do reverse cowgirl, for example, and does it count seperate from regular?

So three that just about anyone can do, and three that only work if she is super skinny or he has a pornstar dick.

I don't get reverse cowgirl either. It's great for a porn shoot, but turning her around like that means he can't play with her boobs and she's got nothing to grind her clit against.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Yes, if indeed they survived, I would like to hear from anyone who has attempted the 'Viennese oyster'.

(Also, having spent some time in Vienna and seen just how few vegetables and how much cake and schnitzel they eat, there's no way the locals there are limber enough for it.)

I've had one or two pretty flexible fat chicks.

 

[M_K_Babalon]

People always come up with the weirdest of shit. I've just seen a story on AO3 with the tag ear penetration. How's that for a position?

Look. I just wanna make sure she hears me cumming.

 

[Djmac1031]

People always come up with the weirdest of shit. I've just seen a story on AO3 with the tag ear penetration. How's that for a position?

So what does the guy do? Wax off in her ear?

 

[Statius]

So here is the Hammer of Thor (link only) and I’m like, my vertebrae would herniate.

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumb...34byff5uq6jftxqnuyjnvq6k6xj76qk4wofvv2ye@jpeg

I mean when I was more flexible missionary / pretzel style was kinda fun, but this ?

Nope. No way. My SO would be like you think we're doing what?! Ha!

 

[M_K_Babalon]

Those links are Kama Sutra positions. I haven't been on Bluesky to see any of it, but they didn't invent them.

 

[Statius]

So three that just about anyone can do, and three that only work if she is super skinny or he has a pornstar dick.

I don't get reverse cowgirl either. It's great for a porn shoot, but turning her around like that means he can't play with her boobs and she's got nothing to grind her clit against.

I like reverse, but not to the finish.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

1. Missionary
2. Cowgirl
3. Doggie
4. Standing
5. Spooning
6. The one which I don't know the name of but involves us pendicular, him.lying on his side and pusing down into her and her with a leg over his thigh. My wife and I do this all the time.

So you never do (or don't believe in) girl-on-top?

I've heard one sex worker (porn star) interviewed who said, essentially, that actual lesbians never scissor unless they're being filmed for porn targeting men, or using a double dildo.

--Annie

 

[EmilyMiller]

actual lesbians never scissor unless they're being filmed for porn targeting men, or using a double dildo.

I tried it a few times with one partner - because why not? - and it was . So I can believe that. It was never a thing with anyone else I knew.

 

[Djmac1031]

actual lesbians never scissor unless they're being filmed for porn targeting men, or using a double dildo.

I tried it a few times with one partner - because why not? - and it was . So I can believe that. It was never a thing with anyone else I knew.

Wait. So porn... LIES to us???

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wait. So porn... LIES to us???

I can’t comment on other people, but it was never really a thing for me.

 

[Djmac1031]

I can’t comment on other people, but it was never really a thing for me.

I realize you're not trying to speak for everyone.

I was just commenting my "shock" that things in porn dont always comport with reality.

 

[Statius]

I realize you're not trying to speak for everyone.

I was just commenting my "shock" that things in porn dont always comport with reality.

Especially girl/ girl geared at guys, which most of it is.

 

[DEFCOM5]

So here is the Hammer of Thor (link only) and I’m like, my vertebrae would herniate.

https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumb...34byff5uq6jftxqnuyjnvq6k6xj76qk4wofvv2ye@jpeg

Why in the world?

I think that it is all about porn and getting good shot.

Also, in order to be creative, it is not only the position by also the location: stairs, kitchen tables, etc, place who are not comfortable but are different and can give good shots.

I feel bad for the generation that got sex educated with porn and believe it is real and that should be your frame of reference. Just sad.

 

[alohadave]

People always come up with the weirdest of shit. I've just seen a story on AO3 with the tag ear penetration. How's that for a position?

Must be from Nantucket.

 

[EdwardsOtherSide]

Esoteric positions are for young folks and porn.

...
6. The one which I don't know the name of but involves us pendicular, him.lying on his side and pusing down into her and her with a leg over his thigh. My wife and I do this all the time....

One of her legs over and her other leg between his?
Wonderful one, especially if you want to apply a vibrator to her clit in the middle of things.
Very underrated, but I suspect it doesn't make for good video.
Also, very little stress on the backs, another consideration younglings don't always appreciate.

 

[TheRedChamber]

So three that just about anyone can do, and three that only work if she is super skinny or he has a pornstar dick.

I don't get reverse cowgirl either. It's great for a porn shoot, but turning her around like that means he can't play with her boobs and she's got nothing to grind her clit against.

Okay, I'm going to bite and ask which you think require superskinniness or pornstar dick. For the record, my wife is a healthy BMI (me far less so) and my dick is, at best, adequate.

So you never do (or don't believe in) girl-on-top?

Are you thinking girl-on-top is different from cowgirl?

One of her legs over and her other leg between his?
Wonderful one, especially if you want to apply a vibrator to her clit in the middle of things.
Very underrated, but I suspect it doesn't make for good video.
Also, very little stress on the backs, another consideration younglings don't always appreciate.

I think we're talking about the same thing - bad for intimacy as kissing and eye contact is out, but good for penetration control and give you easy access to caress various parts of her body (especially if she's short)

 

[Bamagan]

I believe the Kama Sutra and similar lists are just for the people trying to 100% the game.