Erotic Humiliation

[deviantdiva]

Erotic humiliation is a fascinating topic and area I like to explore with some submissives. It typically means something different for everyone, so I'm curious as to what it means for *you*, if it means anything at all.

What part does erotic humiliation play in your BDSM exchanges? Is this something you find exciting, possibly rewarding in some way? For those of you who engage in humiliation play, what do you enjoy most about it?

Thanks!

 

[Yang4yin]

Erotic humiliation is a fascinating topic and area I like to explore with some submissives. It typically means something different for everyone, so I'm curious as to what it means for *you*, if it means anything at all.

What part does erotic humiliation play in your BDSM exchanges? Is this something you find exciting, possibly rewarding in some way? For those of you who engage in humiliation play, what do you enjoy most about it?

Thanks!

There's just something about hearing her admit she's a slut, or hearing her beg for something that's definitely not prim and proper.

 

[desertslave]

Much of our humiliation play is verbal. As Yang stated, it's about getting me to say things I wouldn't normally say, or do things that get me hot but I wouldn't ask for in a million years.

The pleasure, for me, is the way he draws me out of myself and makes me feel excruciatingly exposed...but safe...at the same time. It's exhilarating in the same way I imagine skydiving must be. I took the leap and survived!

 

[callinectes]

Daddy loves erotic humiliation. A lot. A whole lot. LOL

As others have mentioned above, having me say something that is very difficult for me is one of his favorites. He also enjoys having me stand in a corner with my panties around my knees as he gets his toys out. Believe me, panties around the knees is far more humiliating than simply being naked.

He has also had me go out with his dried cum on my face or decolletage. It really isn't visible but I feel like everyone is staring at it.

He likes for me to be clean before anal sex and will often administer the enema himself and stay in the bathroom while it goes to work. I want to die..the sounds..the smell..so humiliatinge! Daddy, of course, finds it highly amusing.

Those are just a few of his favorite things.

 

[myinnerslut]

humiliation is a very powerful tool. it has the power to completly tear somebody down and destroy thier self esteem and self confidence if you cant get the "erotic" part right and accidently push too far.

this has been used many times in my relationship. from licking cum off the dirty concrete floor after its dripped out of my cunt to forcing me to say what it is i want.

erotic humiliation is different for everybody. what works for one person might not work for another. for example going to a club with "SLAVE" written in marker that glows under blacklight might be terribly humiliating for some for i loved it.

 

[Ardeche]

For Me...

I'm only a beginner really, but humiliation has been employed in our erotic encounters. Both physical and verbal.

Making me stand in a corner. Making me kneel while he taunts me about how I can't do anything until he says so. Circling me, telling me in explicit detail how this or that part belongs to him.

On a few occasions we've dabbled into verbal humiliation. Not so much use of the words "slut/whore" or any of that. Mostly making me say things I would never say on my own, or forcing me to spell out what exactly it is I want (and withholding it, if I don't say it correctly).

Once, race became a factor of the verbal humiliation (interracial couple). I was stunned to find myself aroused by it, but once it was over I had my doubts as to whether it could/should become a part of our repertoire. Still mulling that one over.

The best part so far is the rarity of it. He doesn't need to humiliate me and I don't need humiliation. So when it DOES happen it's a heightened level of excitement.

 

[LibraStud]

I love it when she sits on my face and enjoys my tongue. She lights a candle so I can watch her little butt as she rides my tongue. As time goes by she knows what I want her to say. She cannot do it at any other time. "Tell me what you want baby". She just moans. "You want it so bad." She moans.

"Lick my ass you fucker" she finally says, and with just a slight touch, she finishes in a huge orgasm.

We lay afterwards. She says, "I am so bad. If the girls knew what you and I do I would be so humiliated." I say, "Don't ever stop, baby." And then we start all over again.

 

[wouldloveto]

I am fairly new to this also, but I have had some very good sessions in which I have been humiliated...

verbally when my mistress has me beg for something I will not likely get, i.e. to pleasure her pussy, or something I am likely to get, i.e. to worship her feet.

physically when she is training me to control orgasm and I cannot. Besides a caning she makes me clean it up.

and ultimately when she makes me eat my own cum, either by direct ejaculation into my mouth, or my licking it off of whatever surface I defile.

My hope is to lick it off her feet one day (she knows this and berates me for it, saying she would never allow that). That alone humiliates, and excites me.

 

[deviantdiva]

Wow...thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences so far! I appreciate the willingess to talk about a subject that may or may not be a comfortable one for some.

I agree with myinnerslut, who mentioned that there is a fine line in erotic humiliation. It can easily go too far; especially if the participants in the exchange are not very familar with one another.

My take on it is that it is something that gets implemented sparingly. I think erotic humiliation has it's proper context, but again, knowing the submissive well and what his or her limits are is so very key. Plus, another way I've looked at it, is if the submissive really gets off and constantly craves some form of humilation, is it truly a humiliating experience for them? Again, a fine line...

 

[Homburg]

I agree with myinnerslut, who mentioned that there is a fine line in erotic humiliation. It can easily go too far; especially if the participants in the exchange are not very familar with one another.

I generally will not do humiliation with a bottom that I do not know well. Too much chance of hitting an emotional landmine. That said, some humiliation is inherent to many of the acts we all enjoy, so it does happen to an extent with any bottom.

 

[twysted73]

It's absolutely delicious.
In all it's forms.
It breaks down the socially erected wall of propriety and hiding/repressing of one's thoughts and desires from public view and opinion.

For my babydoll, I see it as another tool to assist in her psychological liberation from self-denial.
We talk extensively. She admits and hints at things she enjoys and is genuinely curious about.
I know her well. I know her limits. And I know she always wishes to push them.
It's one thing to think it....it's another thing to say it out loud to someone you love and respect.
I can practically see the beads of sweat forming on her skin as a result of her uncomfortability just as I can see the hint of a smile tugging at her mouth's corner.

We are fascinating animals aren't we?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I am a total humiliationwhore.

Master L enjoys humiliating me in various ways. He is very good at verbal humiliation. He loves telling me what a piece of shit I am for being so very deviant. Sometimes he'll have me repeat or agree with humiliating things he says. Other times he'll refer to me as 'fuckmeat' or 'friction' for an entire scene. He likes getting me to admit I enjoy doing painful things that the average person would find degrading (e.g. dry anal). He likes reminding me that I belong completely to him and that my limits are set by him. He'll push me hard and dare me to complain while laughing at my endurance as though everything I do in his service is contemptible.

Sometimes he'll humiliate me verbally while I'm giving him a blowjob. He'll tell me in detail how he plans to tie me up so I can't move or touch myself and then have me watch him use and fuck another sub woman.

Sometimes he gives me a golden shower, which I find humiliating or has me wear his cum all day.

Once, he cuffed my wrists and hands, blindfolded me, put plugs in my ears and gagged me. He left me tethered to the bed by my collar and lead. That whole day, I lay on the bed unable to see or hear or speak or move. At various times, L played with me. The first I knew he was even in the room was a spank or touch without warning. He spanked, paddled and flogged me all over throughout the day and he used me a few times. Some times he removed my blindolf, earplugs and gag, sometimes he left them insitu and used me anyway. It was so hot. When I was able to hear, he told me what a nasty little whore I was and that I was worth nothing unless he was making use of me. He told me that he could have any man off the street fuck me and I wouldn't know any different with my senses impaired. He really went to town and by the end of the day I had sweat, spit and spunk everywhere and was spanked red from head to foot. It was a good day. He is gradually training me for a weekend in the cellar like this. I am apprehensive but a large part of me can't wait.

 

[Netzach]

This is the erotic cornerstone of my relationship with H, when it boils down to it. Perhaps love and service are the romantic/emotional ones, but humiliation is the sex we have.

Yeah he loves it.

And yes, it's STILL humiliating. Very.

There's a lot of tension, there's a lot of skirting those landmines and tapdancing among them - but that's the high. The risk is part of the hot-making.

 

[licker4450]

Humiliation is a double-edged sword. It can be one of the most wonderful parts of a bdsm interaction. However, to be effective, the sub/slave needs to have healthy esteem. I have encountered some who cannot handle the humiliation. They simply experienced too much of it in their life for it to be healthy. Before they can appraoch this play, they needed to do some work on themselves.

 

[akittenone]

kitttens Master loves to call her names and if honest kitten loves it as well, the trouble is kitten doesn't swear ! Master saying it is so different than kitten saying it,

In everyday life kitten hates swear words so one of the things kitten has to do is say the words to Master, sounds stupid but this to kitten is as bad a humiliation as anything she has done, the squirting and not washing afterwards, sleeping in cum, being left tied while He goes out, none actually compare to the burning humiliation kitten feels when she begs Him to let her cum using words that she would never normally use, and if not used right then permission not always granted.

 

[gingermango]

Humiliation is a double-edged sword. It can be one of the most wonderful parts of a bdsm interaction. However, to be effective, the sub/slave needs to have healthy esteem. I have encountered some who cannot handle the humiliation. They simply experienced too much of it in their life for it to be healthy. Before they can appraoch this play, they needed to do some work on themselves.

That's a very good point. Some people are just too emotionally fragile to handle erotic humiliation without having adverse psychological reactions - sometimes they have the old "Stockholm syndrome" where they become emotionally attached to the "abusers" - that's fine if you're incorporating the practices into your permanent long-term relationships. It's not fine if you're playing recreationally and it begins to interfere with the casual nature of the play. It can also just simply be too much for some people who don't have a solid core of strength underneath.

As a lifetime-sub, I absolutely thrive on erotic humiliation. The day my girlfriend (now wife) tossed out all my undies and told me in no uncertain terms that I was only to wear panties was one of the hottest days of my life. When she drops conversational asides now that only "real men" are allowed boxers and briefs in our bedroom, well . . . you can imagine how utterly degrading and arousing that is. We have a few trusted playmates and having me lick their cum from her pussy while I am restrained, or sucking their cocks while she watches and calls me her cocksucking fairy husband, etc. is just pushing every one of the right buttons for me.

But my buttons are certainly not anyone else's, and what does it for them may or may not do it for others. Certainly I would not encourage novice submissives in any kind of real, permanent relationship to jump in with both feet - add activities, names, roles, and so forth to your play together and then TALK afterwards! Make sure you both are okay with how it makes you feel during and after a session. Add or subtract as appopriate.

Then repeat. Often!

 

[eroticspank]

Humiliation and sex

For me erotic humiliation can come in many forms and it depends on my state of mind. Many things in D/s involve mind games and I really believe erotic humiliation is part of that.

For example, just getting ordered to put on a pair of panties and then my resulting hard on once they were on was erotic humiliation for me.

Having my nipples played with and my resulting arrousal was also EH. And it was taken further with me putting on a bra...etc.

Sometimes an orgasm can be erotic humiliation for me. She rubs her feet on the outside of my panties, teases me with a butt plug, fucks me with a strapon, or any number of ways I am made to cum before I want to, losing control from her teasing.

ES

 

[DreamSensualist]

......

 

[SubKekiLee]

I am only now just realizing how much subtle humiliation is included in our “talks”. At these times my thought process does not focus on these points, but rather they just round out the eroticism that I am feeling physically through sensations as well as submission.
Other times humiliation plays a bigger part of the scene or talk. At these times it is defiantly the humiliation that is the focus or inspiration of my erotic feelings. Whatever it is that my physical body is feeling sexually takes a second seat to the “mind fuck” (note: a strict definition of the term mind fuck is not implied).
I will admit that there are topics that are not allowed to be touched on when being humiliated. As a general rule it is not topics that I am insecure about, rather they are precious to me and I will fiercely protect them. My parenting skills, friendships etc are the sort of things I am talking about & I think this must be the same for many people. It is easy enough to include humiliation in play without bringing off-topic aspects into it. I have to agree that any topic that I am insecure about would also be a “no-go” or “tread-carefully” area. I love to have my limits pushed by my Je t’aime, but I can only do this because I trust him, Iknow that he will be considerate of my feelings, take things slowly, gauge my comfort level before turning any intensity up.
I know that at times my mind works in an over analytical way. In day to day life this can cause problems. However, when being Dominated, the ability of my mind to go down all the different paths opens up a Pandora’s Box of opportunities. And the unsurity of what path he will take, and if he will switch paths makes it all the more exciting. His ability to read my mind as well as heighten my humiliation by appropriately placing me in a position (over his knee, panties around my thighs, standing in a corner, bound, or legs spread) is arousing beyond measure.
Will it be purely emotional humiliation? Will he threaten to not touch me again because I am filthy? Will he do this while standing close, invading what I had thought of as my personal space & yet make sure that I know he will only touch me with gloves, or will he step back from me, get distracted by something else and make me grovel to him & ask for an opportunity to prove to him that I am worthy of his collar? Or will it be less sexual, perhaps touching on part of my personality? While holding me close to orgasm, but not granting release will he berate me about my organizational abilities (obsessive compulsive tendencies), my pridefulness or my “I am woman hear me roar” self-image & make me realize that while I think I am all that, I need him. I am at the very core a sexual being, nothing more, who needs to be used by him & granted release to feel self-worth?
A less dangerous topic for humiliation, but perhaps more exciting given its nature is humiliation closely related to sexual feelings of wantonness. Often associated with being positioned and told to hold that position (I have learnt that an accidental slip of the foot can lead to a serious beating with a brush), or bound in a position providing unrestricted access for him can intensify the feelings of shame & humiliation I suffer with pleasure. Once I’m excited he can then either point out how wanton I am and how much I love it, much to my self-disgrace. I can be made to admit that I love being his whore. And he will direct how I am to feel degraded. I may be humiliated that I am so lewd, or that he has made be beg for something that in itself is humiliating, he can even twist his Dominance to make me feel (within the security of our love & the scene only) that my submission is an unhealthy need and that my devious thoughts are unclean & with this stigma he is the only one who will understand my dirtiest desires (which is actually true, but I do not like the thought that my submission would have no worth to him). He may even fail to point out my wantonness…. Perhaps simply pointing out that whether or not I am whorish is immaterial. I am his, he owns me and as such he will use me when & as he likes. I am just a warm body for him to take his pleasure with and less than a whore. He may threaten to deny me or demand that I “earn it”. Placed in situational bondage he can make me beg & grovel, ensuring that I know that at some times he finds me contemptible for having such strong needs and reminding me that his needs not only come first, but are the only ones I should be concerned with. And I will beg for it. Because it is what he wants, and I feel his wants so strongly that they become mine.

Beautifully put DS.... I agree with you 110%

 

[twysted73]

.

You are quite the wordy one today babydoll.
But I enjoy your thoughts.

You know that.

Je veux plus d'entre ceux-ci. J'apprécie votre purgings. Je les trouve l'assistant et plaisant.
Vous êtes aimés et pensés souvent.

 

[zyzyg]

for my overseer and me erotic humiliation takes many forms --
from verbal abuse to severe physical humiliation in front of a group --
I willingly submit myself to whatever Mia desires.
Of course since Mia has owned me for 42 years she knows my limits and I have absolute trust and security in our relationship or some of our sessions could get ugly.
I guess my favorite is to be blindfolded and whipped, spanked, caned by multiple people without my knowing who is doing what.
when I am bruised and welted to be tied down and anally probed is always welcome.:caning:

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

I was just thinking about this earlier today. For me, erotic humiliation is walking a fine line. I was belittled so much growing up that I find very little humiliation arousing. For someone to successfully do so, they would need to know me and my triggers very intimately.

 

[Harmony_1985]

It's something I really enjoy and he really enjoys it too.

We're more into the verbal humiliation than anything else, cos he loves telling me how much of a whore I am and he knows I enjoy it cos it makes me squirm everytime he does.

 

[ataxia.girl]

i love humiliation that is more on the subtle side. Being called a lot of nasty names tends to have the opposite effect for me. The D starts to seem almost cartoonish, like a caricature and i quit listening and often lose respect for his lack of intelligence or creativity.

i want my D to know me well enough to push MY humiliation buttons not the buttons everyone says you should have. If he's calling me cunt, whore, slut etc because he just likes it that's one thing but if he's doing it to try and create some sort of reaction in me i'm like... not impressed.

 

[Netzach]

I separate humiliation into erotic and non-erotic though. The whole point of erotic humiliation is that it makes the bottom hornier. That varies. For a lot of people it's "pull up your skirt and show us your panties, slut" and for other people that's stupid and dull and for other people that's traumatic and un-hot.

The whole point of other humiliation is that is serves some emotional purpose for both parties (this varies and often I can't explain what purpose it serves for me to make him cry or slap him down verbally any more than I can explain why I like hitting people) but getting harder/wetter isn't the main one, it's increased objectificfation, more a sense of place and relationship.