Endless Curiosity

[Azuldrgon]

On same sex encounter with a Litster: I have never had that curiosity. To each their own.

On other Sites: The only one I used to frequent dealt with an artist I am still a huge fan of.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I doubt anyone is actually 100% vanilla.

Shoot, if we consider any sort of anal play to be 'kinky,' then we've pretty much got the majority of the male population right there.

 

[Azuldrgon]

I doubt anyone is actually 100% vanilla.

Can you imagine 100% vanilla?
Talk about Albino.

 

[Trekka]

I doubt anyone is actually 100% vanilla.

I totally am.
*tries to keep straight face*

 

[SlyderInside]

I totally am.
*tries to keep straight face*

I always took you more for the spiced (spicy?) rum that makes the vanilla extract.

 

[1sickbastard]

I totally am.
*tries to keep straight face*

That's a very vanilla face, yanno...

 

[ViciousTease]

It appears that these questions have played out. Still a few hours for people to post comments.

I must admit that I am pleasantly surprised by the amount of discussion we had today. I didn't have much to say, and I presumed that others likewise wouldn't.

But I was wrong, again.

Good work everyone.

One of the best things about Lit is the variety available. Everyone can find something that will suit their tastes.

What I am enjoying most about this thread is that the questions are submitted by the participants, so they offer the same variety. Not every question will speak to every person who stops by, but every question is something someone here was curious about. That, in my opinion, gives every question value.

 

[Inspirinious]

The more I observe, the more I realize how much I don't know,

or understand.​

I just need to be quite.​

 

[ViciousTease]

Hate. It's just as complicated as love and maybe more so, because people can tend to obsess and dwell on it more. Are we worthy of it? And by that I mean, is it a necessary emotion or state of mind? Are others worthy of such low regard? Do people really deserve to be hated?

Have you ever hated anyone? Has that faded with time? Do you allow hate to dictate your actions or words? Can you face the person you hate without them knowing it?

There are so many issues related to hate, please feel free to discuss any aspect of it.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Hate. Hmmmm....

I have felt brief flashes of hatred, usually not sustained. People have done things to me occasionally which have made me feel what I imagine hate to be. I always get angry as well, because I don't appreciate being made to feel this way.

I have more to say on this, but I will have to come back later. Real life beckons

 

[Inspirinious]

I can't say that I hate anybody that I know personally, either in RL or online. I try to keep that extreme emotion in check.

Many years ago I had someone I knew and respected a lot tell me the following:

There is a common saying "You make me angry....." But in reality, we can and should control our own emotions. We shouldn't let other people MAKE us do something we don't want to do. In essence, if we get angry, or even hate, it is because we have chosen to do so. Maybe not consciously.

This other fellow had degrees in Linguistics. So I believe this other part is also true, though I have not verified it. He told me that the phrase "You make me angry" is fairly unique to English in the U.S.A. The equivalent phrase in other languages is "I get angry when you..." This is a major shift of the ownership for the anger.

Do we accept ownership for our own anger? Or do we let others control our anger?

Something to think about.

 

[ydahecnot]

I try not to hate, I don't want anyone to have that kind of power over my calm. About the only one I hate right now is an old boss, but he's long gone so no need to ponder

 

[Endless_Night]

Worthy. Interesting word choice. I don’t know if it’s necessary, or if it can be deserved, but for the most part I think it’s an enormous waste of time. It also, in my experience - unless someone loses their mind and comments some physical atrocity - seems to do far more damage to the hater than to the hatee. Like a rot that works from the inside out, putrefying everything it touches until negativity oozes from their pores.

I have hated. When I was younger, and primarily those that had some (real or perceived) power over my life. These days I don’t do hate. Whether that’s because my situation or attitude has changed, I’m not sure. Both, possibly. Achieving a little personal growth and gaining a broader world experience certainly haven’t hurt, either.

I sometimes think I’ve traded hate for intolerance. Theoretically, I am extremely tolerant. Whatever floats your boat is okay with me. Alien hunter, otherkin, punner, isolationist, whatever, knock yourself out. I am on your side to pursue whatever it is that makes you happy.

Buuuuut, certain personality types, or certain behaviors get you to my “waste of space” list pretty quick o). Whiners (dear god, shoot me), the “moral” police rolleyes, the aggressively passive-aggressive, those who enjoy the oh-I’m-so-victimized lifestyle.

 

[1sickbastard]

Hate. It's just as complicated as love and maybe more so, because people can tend to obsess and dwell on it more. Are we worthy of it? And by that I mean, is it a necessary emotion or state of mind? Are others worthy of such low regard? Do people really deserve to be hated?

Have you ever hated anyone? Has that faded with time? Do you allow hate to dictate your actions or words? Can you face the person you hate without them knowing it?

There are so many issues related to hate, please feel free to discuss any aspect of it.

I'm generally a pretty easy going, relatively tolerant person. It takes a lot for someone to level up my ire to the point of actual hatred.

Hate takes way more effort than I'm generally willing to give to someone I dislike that much.

Yes, I have hated various individuals with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, but that intensity is difficult to maintain. See my previous statement.

If I do have a hatred toward someone, it's very difficult for me to hide, especially if I'm around that someone. Mostly, I can keep necessary interactions within the bare minimum of social courtesy. Usually I'll do my best to limit interaction with someone I hate, with zero interface being the desired goal.

Deserve?
How does one quantify or qualify whether someone else "deserves" to be hated or loved?
Emotions are personal. If one hates, loves or is indifferent toward someone/thing, then in the calculus of the individual having the hate/love/indifference, such emotion IS deserved, reason, logic, rationality, ROI, or whatever else not withstanding.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I do not hate anyone. I was raised to believe that to "hate" someone, you would be willing to kill them. "Hate" was given such a strong and negative connotation, that I've always stuck with "I strongly dislike" someone or something, rather than saying I "hate" it.

I'm right there with Endless on the tolerance levels, too. I don't abide foolishness or downright stupid and careless behaviors. I don't consider certain life choices as simply "to each their own", either. I try to understand as best I can, but some things will simply be wrong and unacceptable. That said, I'm human, so I obviously pick and choose my tolerances based on guidelines I was raised on and have expanded them as I've gotten older. Still, though, on a general continuum, I'm fairly conservative and would most likely clash with many Litsters

 

[shadow_anon2u]

I keep trying to answer this & deleting it. I only have one person in my life that I hate & have for 30+ years. While in the hospital, being eaten away by cancer, they asked for my forgiveness. I told them to continue rotting in hell. They died that night. There are very few people who know any of this. It took several years & someone slipping up, letting me overhear that this person had a rather long list of haters. Did they deserve the hate? For me, yes. They have impacted my entire life; I am moving past part of it with the help of a friend, but the hate I will always carry.

 

[ViciousTease]

I'm generally a pretty easy going, relatively tolerant person. It takes a lot for someone to level up my ire to the point of actual hatred.

Hate takes way more effort than I'm generally willing to give to someone I dislike that much.

This is true for me as well.

Like EN and RA have said, my struggle is with tolerance. I think some find they have more tolerance as they age, but for me it has been the opposite. I do try to look for the motivations behind the things that people do and strive to understand them. Even so, I have little or no tolerance for certain types of behavior. Meanness is the top of that list. When directed at me, I can shrug it off. When directed at others I go into full on mamma bear mode. It's not a pretty thing.

 

[Endless_Night]

< If I do have a hatred toward someone, it's very difficult for me to hide, especially if I'm around that someone. Mostly, I can keep necessary interactions within the bare minimum of social courtesy. Usually I'll do my best to limit interaction with someone I hate, with zero interface being the desired goal. >

This^ with people I don't care for. It is very difficult to hide. Oddly, I have the same experience when I am embarrassed for someone due to what I perceive as their bad behavior.

< I do not hate anyone. I was raised to believe that to "hate" someone, you would be willing to kill them. "Hate" was given such a strong and negative connotation, that I've always stuck with "I strongly dislike" someone or something, rather than saying I "hate" it. >

I find this interesting, simply because it wasn’t my experience. I was not raised in an environment that taught hate was wrong. Actually, my formative years was where I learned to hate. It makes total sense of course, my upbringing just wasn’t particularly stable.

 

[Endless_Night]

I keep trying to answer this & deleting it. I only have one person in my life that I hate & have for 30+ years. While in the hospital, being eaten away by cancer, they asked for my forgiveness. I told them to continue rotting in hell. They died that night. There are very few people who know any of this. It took several years & someone slipping up, letting me overhear that this person had a rather long list of haters. Did they deserve the hate? For me, yes. They have impacted my entire life; I am moving past part of it with the help of a friend, but the hate I will always carry.

Difficult.

< Meanness is the top of that list. When directed at me, I can shrug it off. When directed at others I go into full on mamma bear mode. It's not a pretty thing. >

This, too. I can put up with an amazing amount if it's directed towards myself, but directed at someone I'm attached to? That can get ugly fast.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I am unsure whether or not I actually hate. I'm still unsure whether or not I actually love, and I do that far more often than hate, so it's really difficult to guage. As mentioned, I feel flashes of what I imagine hatred to be.

It's intense, blinding and hurtful, and it always leaves me angry. Perhaps hatred is only high level, focused anger, that seems to be what it is for me. I am always left angry because it pisses me off that someone pushes me to that level. I cannot sustain that feeling, though. People that have made me feel hatred only end up with my contempt or pity in the long run. As Sickie said, they just aren't worth the bother.

I have watched sometime crash and burn when consumed with hatred, and that is scary. They were abused by their step father, and their mother did nothing to interfere. Most of the anger was focused on the step father, though they severed tiers with their mother as well. Their hatred was astonishingly sharp and close to the surface. This person lived their life seething with hatred for that man, endlessly wanting the chance to kill him. Drinking every day and then spending the night talking about the myriad ways he would kill the abusive bastard. Writing poisonous emails, dreaming of revenge and plotting ways to ruin his life. Ways which, incidentally, would ruin their own life as well.

After what I suppose was a few decades of this self destructiveness they hit rock bottom and recognized it finally. Looked around and said.. Wow. Half my life wasted on poisonous bullshit. Having seen hatred up close and personal on that scale, I know I don't ever want to feel it.

Are people worthy of hatred? I think they are. There are despicable people out there. It's a sad fact of humanity. I do remain thankful that I am not one of the ones propelled into that realm of hate, though I understand how people can get there.

 

[ViciousTease]

I am unsure whether or not I actually hate. I'm still unsure whether or not I actually love, and I do that far more often than hate, so it's really difficult to guage. As mentioned, I feel flashes of what I imagine hatred to be.

It's intense, blinding and hurtful, and it always leaves me angry. Perhaps hatred is only high level, focused anger, that seems to be what it is for me. I am always left angry because it pisses me off that someone pushes me to that level. I cannot sustain that feeling, though. People that have made me feel hatred only end up with my contempt or pity in the long run. As Sickie said, they just aren't worth the bother.

I have watched sometime crash and burn when consumed with hatred, and that is scary. They were abused by their step father, and their mother did nothing to interfere. Most of the anger was focused on the step father, though they severed tiers with their mother as well. Their hatred was astonishingly sharp and close to the surface. This person lived their life seething with hatred for that man, endlessly wanting the chance to kill him. Drinking every day and then spending the night talking about the myriad ways he would kill the abusive bastard. Writing poisonous emails, dreaming of revenge and plotting ways to ruin his life. Ways which, incidentally, would ruin their own life as well.

After what I suppose was a few decades of this self destructiveness they hit rock bottom and recognized it finally. Looked around and said.. Wow. Half my life wasted on poisonous bullshit. Having seen hatred up close and personal on that scale, I know I don't ever want to feel it.

Are people worthy of hatred? I think they are. There are despicable people out there. It's a sad fact of humanity. I do remain thankful that I am not one of the ones propelled into that realm of hate, though I understand how people can get there.

I'm quite certain I'm capable of hate. Probably because I tend to love so fiercely. I guess I just lack the motivation. I've never suffered anything horrific enough to make it worth the effort.

 

[Azuldrgon]

Hate. It's just as complicated as love and maybe more so, because people can tend to obsess and dwell on it more. Are we worthy of it? And by that I mean, is it a necessary emotion or state of mind? Are others worthy of such low regard? Do people really deserve to be hated?

Have you ever hated anyone? Has that faded with time? Do you allow hate to dictate your actions or words? Can you face the person you hate without them knowing it?

There are so many issues related to hate, please feel free to discuss any aspect of it.

Damn! A juicy question and not that much time to answer...

Are we worthy of hate? No.
Is it a necessary emotion or state of mind? It is a necessary emotion , but it needs to right target. I cannot hate people. I can hate their actions, their personalities, their situations, their attitudes. But I cannot hate a person per se.

Are others worthy of such a low regard? I think in that sense it is wasted. The fact is people are people and to hate someone means the opposite of love. Even those we tolerate are on the love spectrum because to me, hate means you wish the other person was not a person. As in they didn't exist and such like. The thing is everyone that enters your life has a purpose whether good or bad. If they didn't exist, your life would be drastically altered.

Have you ever hated anyone? I have hated folks in the past. I have hated those that have wronged me, that have done things to me I care not to discuss. The thing is I had to grow up and realize that hatred breeds other negative emotions and such that I didn't want in my life. It doesn't mean I am going to party with them, but I had to forgive them to live.

Has it faded with time? Yes.

Do you allow hate to dictate your actions and words? Not anymore.

Can you face the person you hate without them knowing it? I try to be professional to work colleagues I don't get along with. I try to be civil with non-work people I have to associate with. It is possible to be respectful and such without showing any ill feelings. It makes it easier to get through situations.

 

[Trekka]

Same sex encounters: Take a wild guess, peeps! But I'd never name names! Because classy.
Other sites: Fet on and off. SoundCloud every so often. Tumblrrrrr at times. Depends on my mood.
Hate: There are a few. Not gonna lie. But I don't stew over it. And it's typically fleeting.

 

[JennyNo1]

One more answer before the party kicks in. Are people worthy of being hated? I think there probably are some who are - people who abuse the helpless, psychopathic murderers, Hitler, people who knowingly do things that could ruin others' lives but don't care....yes, I think those are deserving of such low regard. But that doesn't mean I'm going to spend my energy on doing so. If I'd been raised by one of these monsters, though, I probably would. But I'm more of the "hate the behavior, not the person" camp, usually. I can think of only 2 people I've hated for real, and I find that with time my anger has dissipated and I don't want to waste any more energy on them. Maybe azul has a point in saying it's focused anger. Did I allow the hate to dictate my actions? Only in that I had as little to do with those people as possible. I can be professional if needed, but that's it.

 

[ViciousTease]

Lit contains its fantasy element. A chance to reinvent yourself, or at least showcase the qualities you like best about yourself. There are so many options: clever, funny, sexy, demure.

What fictional character best represents how you’d like other Listers to view you?

Bonus Question: What fictional character do you think represents how you are actually viewed?