Ending relationships

[firefighter02]

I wrote off a year and a half friendship last night. Too many nights of head games, listening to "how bad" everything was, and trying to figure out why she was "always hurt". I didn't initiate the end of the relationship, and responded to her profanity laced email, with a kind, thanks for sharing. I thought maybe I would be more upset to end it than what I am, but know that it is time to move on. Curious to hear any good war stories of writing people off or getting the boot yourself.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I had an online fling, and we decided to meet. Well, I traved halfway across the country to visit for a week, I got sick, she was a creep, and I went home. No hard feelings, you know, it just didn't work out. Well, over the next month, we 'split up' like 5 times. She 'wanted to be friends', then she didn't want to ever talk to me again, then she felt horrible about that, then she wanted to start over, she pretended to be pregnant, then she wanted me to drop off a cliff...

By the end of it, I was just exhausted! Finally, I told her to just fucking get off my ass! It only took her 10 emails to get the point. Head games are not my thing...

 

[firefighter02]

Damn Johnny...were we seeing the same chick?

 

[honeylick]

mmmm prozac for everyone!

 

[plasticman33]

Hmmm, I think I know her too!

 

[lobito]

Long story, sad but true for me. Different people handle it different ways. You handled it the best you can. You claim to have showed that you are a good person for doing things that way. Too bad it's not always that easy to handle ending a relationship.

 

[Lost Cause]

Sometimes you got to....

Let it go before you both get poisoned by the relationship. I've been in situations where I would take the long way home to the daughter of Satan than the easy route, it was that bad. It's a breath of fresh air for both, and in 6 months, both will appreciate the sacrifice.

 

[firefighter02]

Honeylick..Count me as 946

 

[firefighter02]

You handled it the best you can

I guess I always figured it pissed em off more if I was as nice going out of a relationship as I was when I walked into it. What goes around comes around right?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

i think we've all been in a relationship that ends, and kind of hangs on a little longer.

And it is possible that you all dated the same chick as me...she kind of 'got around'...

 

[juicylips]

I have no good war stories, but I'm sorry things ended badly for you.

 

[lobito]

i think we've all been in a relationship that ends, and kind of hangs on a little longer.

And it is possible that you all dated the same chick as me...she kind of 'got around'...

Nope, I married this one. It was so bad in the end, with so many mistruths & denials of things said by her, that it's not worth it. But when you are in so deep, it's much harder to end it. Being in the early stage(s) of the break-up makes me feel like I'll never love or care about someone so much anymore. Maybe it's a trust issue as well, but right now there's so much shock, that I'm just plain confused by it all.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I almost married a woman who was completely wrong for me, and she kept the relationship going with a series of lies, half-truths, and misrepresentations, followed by betrayal and more lying...And it is so easy to stay, just because you aren't sure you can live without the other person, no matter how worthless they are. She wasn't willing to end the relationship until she was certain she had a new man, so she strung me along for about 6 months longer than we should have stayed together.

I was lost for about a year, but I'm feeling much better now.

 

[honeylick]

Honeylick..Count me as 946

-smirk-

 

[1hotjob]

I have no good war stories, but I'm sorry things ended badly for you.

Yeah, me either JL.

Just wanted to say Hi! also, even though it isn't your thread!

 

[juicylips]

Yeah, me either JL.

Just wanted to say Hi! also, even though it isn't your thread!

Love hearing from you no matter where it is.

 

[Tungwagger]

I almost made the mistake of marrying a girl who:

A- did about a quarter gram of Meth a day.

B- was so high strung because of the meth that all little problems were magnified about ten times.

C- accused me of fucking around on her if I was half an hour late getting home.

D- liked to argue with me because "make up sex is sooooo good."

But I'm glad I woke up and realized the only things she had going for her was her looks, and the hellacious sex she gave me.

 

[firefighter02]

Funny How great sex makes us overlook bad things.

 

[Tungwagger]

Funny How great sex makes us overlook bad things.

Hell, in my younger years, even mediocre sex was a catalyst for a whirlwind romance!!!

 

[firefighter02]

I'd probably settle for that now.

 

[wkdclwn]

I almost married a woman who was completely wrong for me, and she kept the relationship going with a series of lies, half-truths, and misrepresentations, followed by betrayal and more lying...And it is so easy to stay, just because you aren't sure you can live without the other person, no matter how worthless they are. She wasn't willing to end the relationship until she was certain she had a new man, so she strung me along for about 6 months longer than we should have stayed together.

I was lost for about a year, but I'm feeling much better now.

I think I am there now. Sounds precisely like what I am doing at this moment. Yet I keep hoping things will get better. Oh well. Probably my own stupidity for even trying. Take care. Later.

 

[under where]

When I get sick of someone or just don't want to be around them anymore I ignore them. I know it's horrible, and that doesn't make things goaway, but I have a difficult time with confrontation.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

When I get sick of someone or just don't want to be around them anymore I ignore them. I know it's horrible, and that doesn't make things goaway, but I have a difficult time with confrontation.

And how many people have you destroyed this way? UGH! You should be beaten with a brick, or forced to watch PBS until your brain explodes, or something...

 

[MaggieH]

I wrote off a year and a half friendship last night.

Curious to hear any good war stories of writing people off or getting the boot yourself.

This is something I've been really struggling with for the past month. How do you know when to work on a friendship and try to get past what someone has done, and when do you say "I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again, so why am I trying to hold on?" How long do you make an attempt to keep up the awkward conversations, when you've discussed the hurt 'til you're both just worn out with it, when he's apologized, but you don't feel like he really thinks he did all that much wrong, and aren't sure he'll ever really "get" how wrong it was?

When the friendship meant everything to you, but after this betrayal you wonder if you really knew him at all? When you used to talk about everything, but now the biggest new thing in his life is a topic that's off limits, because how it came about is the hurt in question.

I've blocked him on msn, and he knows it. I said it's "for now" to not have all of this hanging between us every time we talk. But I worry that with no contact, "for now" is just a coward's way of saying "forever."

Advice?

 

[firefighter02]

I've blocked him on msn, and he knows it. I said it's "for now" to not have all of this hanging between us every time we talk. But I worry that with no contact, "for now" is just a coward's way of saying "forever."

I have been the subject of blocks on and off in the former freindship, not only on messaging, but in email as well. It is a cowards way out if you ask me. I have always believed that you communicate what you need to say, and leave it at that. There should be no reason why anyone should feel they have to respond to an IM or PM, or even read an email. I hate when someone sends a tirade of crap on thier views and then blocks a person, because they aren't grown up enough to deal with a response. Now with that said, certainly if someone is sending unwanted, threatening or "stalkerlike" material, I am all for blocking.

In your situation it sounds as though, he set limits as to what was "fair game". I hate to say it, but a simple, "I can't do this anymore and won't" should suffice. Anytime someone makes a rule as to what can and can't be discussed don't you loose the honesty in a relationship? Isn't the reason we form friendships is to be able to talk about things? Since we don't know what his transgression was, it is hard to give complete advice. However if the friendship isn't in your best interest, or is one that benifits both parties, it is probably just time to say goodbye and move on.