Embarrassing Moments of Truth...

[Joe Wordsworth]

Anyone have any particularly unique times when you said something that was honest, but it wasn't necessarily the nicest thing to say...?

Like a "Hi, Bob, what'd you do this morning?"...."I was sleeping with your wife, Bill... uh... crap" situation?

 

[minsue]

In high school, fighting with my friend about how terrible her driving was and that she was going to get herself killed and likely take me with her. It went something like this...

Her: "If my driving is so bad, why do you get in the car with me?"

Me: "Well, how else am I supposed to get anywhere?!?"

Oops

 

[snooper]

I had mislaid a pen (in the office) which had considerable sentimental value, and a girl called Terry found it.

As a thank you I bought her a Terry's Chocolate Orange (for our US friends if they don't know this see http://www.kraftfoods.co.uk/terryschocolateorange/).

When I gave it to her, she said, "Yes I love them. It even has my name on it, Terry's."

So far so banal. Then I opened my mouth.
"I thought you would like the plain one best."

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I was at a club, with a bunch of friends and "friends of friends". A whole bunch of use sitting about. So, one of the more "attention-needy" girls with us perks up and says "Hey, let's point out one thing about ourselves that people always notice first about us!"

Seemed like a good enough thing to talk about, sitting around and drinking, so she started off with "My breasts"--which, yeah, she was right. 5'7", blonde, blue-eyed, and perfectly shapely (she did beauty pageants) 36C bustline that tapered into a trim and athletic waist. Yeah, no doubt people noticed those suckers... hell, I did.

So we go around the table, mentioning this or that. One guy says "My shirt"--which, he always wore this bright orange atrocious shirt, so that seemed accurate. I said "My height", which at 6'6"... whenever I meet someone, they usually say "Oh, I've heard of you... wow, you're tall."

So, this one girl who was dating one of my friends--she was definitely a round woman, which my friend is into... she perks up and says "People always notice my eyes, I have really stunning eyes".

Without thinking I lean in to look at them and say "I've never noticed them".

She asked, "So what did you first notice about me?"

Still looking at her eyes, trying to figure out what color they were, I said "That you're fat."

It took about five good seconds for me to realize what I'd said.

 

[tolyk]

I was sitting here trying to think of something to add. But, despite having been a shy lad I wasn't self-conscious. I don't think I have any memories of embarassing moments, of any sorts... But Joe, 5 seconds? I'd of thought she'd of slapped you quicker than 5 seconds.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I think she was shocked... Hell, I know I was.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

A friend of mine was dating one of her friends after a really bad breakup with her long-term boyfriend back when I was in high school. They had zero, I mean absolute zero chemistry and both were so pathetically going through the motions that it was like a case-study in loveless relationships. Anyway, I was in a bad mood one day and she asked some question about what I thought of her and Kyle while I was distracted on something else (I think it was a Calculus problem). So I said, "Oh the relationship for relationship's sake." It took about a week before she spoke to me again. Learned to keep my mouth shut after that one, believe me.

 

[Liar]

I occationally forget what company I'm in, and starts to behave as if I was with my friends when I'm actually with...say...my grandparents. So the completely wrong jargong can slip by. Lately, we've been falling into deep irony, absurdity and sarcasm.

Last week I was out dining with mom and her bloke, and told the table that I was going to the bathroom "to shoot some herion". They looked a little oddly at me, but I think they understood that it was a joke.

#L

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

I occationally forget what company I'm in, and starts to behave as if I was with my friends when I'm actually with...say...my grandparents. So the completely wrong jargong can slip by. Lately, we've been falling into deep irony, absurdity and sarcasm.

Last week I was out dining with mom and her bloke, and told the table that I was going to the bathroom "to shoot some herion". They looked a little oddly at me, but I think they understood that it was a joke.

#L

Yeah, but you know that she spent the rest of the dinner slyly checking your arm for needlemarks "just in case"

 

[damppanties]

I was trying to get a guy a date with my friend. He had asked me to ask her 'cos he was too shy. The guy smsed me and asked if I had talked to her yet. I was going to reply to him, but then I decided I'd better text my friend about him right then (we had talked about him earlier too). So I wrote a message and sent it... and then realised I had sent it to the guy. It read something like:

"Ok, so he's thin and geeky and specs n all, not much to look at either but he's really good at heart, try him."

I could have DIED.

He, thankfully ignored the message, never referred to it, neither did I. But I can never look him in the eye again.

 

[Liar]

Technical communication aids are fun. I once mailed a lengthy, quite steaming, graphic decription of what I wanted to do with my girlfriend when I met her in the evening.

Only...I had a brain-fart and typed in my ex's mail address instead.

But she was a good sport. I got a reply saying "Have fun. I'm keeping this mail as ransom for a detailed review of how it went."

#L

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

"...and in the middle of it, she called me 'Brad'."

"She called you 'Brad'?"

"She called me 'Brad'."

"...hell, that doesn't mean anything, people say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."

 

[psychocatblah]

I can't even begin to think of just one thing I've said that shouldn't have been said. I think many of my good friends think that I spend my off hours trying to think of the most appaling thing that I could say at any given moment.

Whether it's pointing out that people's parents have sex or the time my friend was telling me about how this guy had erectile dysfunction with her to which I replied, "But the previous boyfriend had that problem to. Maybe it's just you." I can usually be counted on to say what everyone's thinking but have enough sense not to say.

 

[rgraham666]

Talking up a very nice looking woman at a place I work. She's somewhat interested as well so we're digging for personal information as to what type of person the other is.

She: "I won't go out with a guy unless he makes a least sixty grand a year and drives a late model Mercedes or Beemer."

A wave of disappointment and anger washes over me. I don't make anywhere near that much and I don't drive. I also intensely dislike gold diggers.

Me: "I know a guy like that."

Her eyes light up. "Really?"

Me: "Yeah. He's a pimp and a crack dealer."

For some odd reason she never spoke to me again.

 

[Guest]

Talking up a very nice looking woman at a place I work. She's somewhat interested as well so we're digging for personal information as to what type of person the other is.

She: "I won't go out with a guy unless he makes a least sixty grand a year and drives a late model Mercedes or Beemer."

A wave of disappointment and anger washes over me. I don't make anywhere near that much and I don't drive. I also intensely dislike gold diggers.

Me: "I know a guy like that."

Her eyes light up. "Really?"

Me: "Yeah. He's a pimp and a crack dealer."

For some odd reason she never spoke to me again.

Good for you!

Lou

 

[Guest]

I've said this to women a couple of times...

"When's the baby due?"

Goes down like a lead balloon.

They really did look pregnant!!! Honest!

Lou

 

[rgraham666]

Thanks Lou.

But once again, my painful honesty kept me from getting laid.

 

[Liar]

rg, embarrassing for who? Certainly not for you. If she had the brains for it, she should know how stupid you made her look with that reply, and how stupid she had made hrself look. If not, then good riddance anyway.

#L

 

[minsue]

I've said this to women a couple of times...

"When's the baby due?"

Goes down like a lead balloon.

They really did look pregnant!!! Honest!

Lou

LOU! Don't you know you NEVER say anything about pregnancy until the woman in question comments on it herself!?!?

 

[CharleyH]

Technical communication aids are fun. I once mailed a lengthy, quite steaming, graphic decription of what I wanted to do with my girlfriend when I met her in the evening.

Only...I had a brain-fart and typed in my ex's mail address instead.

But she was a good sport. I got a reply saying "Have fun. I'm keeping this mail as ransom for a detailed review of how it went."

#L

LOL, reminds me of an email I received. A friend, who had been in Mozembique for a year used to send about 30 of us (including her parents and grandparents) updates on her adventure. Typically people wrote her back with reply. On one occaission a girl, vividly describing a blow job she had given to a new boyfriend, replied to all, including the grandparents. Couldn't stop laughing thinking about the shock and embarrassment she felt in sending an email an hour later titled "DO NOT READ MY LAST EMAIL!"

It's fun razzing her about it though

 

[oggbashan]

An expert:

Bessie Braddock (large lady - member of parliament to Winston Churchill): "Winston, you are drunk."

Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober."


Og

 

[Just-Legal]

One loud arguement with partner:

Him: "Yeah, well at least I'm giving you a lot more than they (my exes) did!"

Me: "Oh yeah, everything, except mind-blowing sex, but then P always had that market cornered!"

Yeah. Oops.