Embarassing Moments

[Guest]

Well, first I'd like to say hello to all the dudes and dudettes on Literotica.com! I have been cumming here for nearly 4 months but never posted before or signed up. I always read the BB and read the hot erotic stories that you wonderful people are kind enough to post! Thank you! Well I just signed up (about 3 hours ago) to become a registered user. So I guess that means I will start off as a VIRGIN? Anyways, I would like to know of your most embarassing moments. And if it's cool with you, I'd like to use your "embarassing story" as material for my morning radio show. That is gonna be my morning show topic on Friday morning. The embarassing moment can be of ANY nature, the more the merrier! But it wouldn't be fair if I didn't talk about my most embarassing moment right? Well here's one. A couple years back while still living at home with my parents, I was on the internet being a bad boy. I used to be a "shit-stirrer" in chat rooms and just loved causing chaos! Anyways, there was this certain chat room on "TalkCity.com", in which I was a regular in. I had been a well-known regular for about a year and a half. I was one of those "Leader's of the Pack", the kind I have seen here on the BB's. To make a long story short, We (The other reg's and some newbies) all decided to raid a random chat room. The room the others decided to raid was a Gay/Lesbian chat room. "OK, cool, ain't a hard thing to walk into a Gay chat room and act Gay", I thought to myself. So we all go in, and we're all acting Gay in order to disguise the ambush. Well a few minutes later, my screen froze. Completely! Everything was scrolling and at the bottom of the screen it said "Chat-For-Gay-Lesbian". So I leave it like that and head for the phone to call my cousin to come fix the screen. As I'm heading back to the computer room of my parent's home, I see my mother, step-father, brother, aunt, and other cousin staring at the screen! OMG! I almost died there and then! I turned away and ran to my room. My mother and step-father came into my room some hours later and gave me this speech about "It's ok to be gay". They were saying, "We will support you 100%" and other BS! When I explained to them, they just laughed, they thought I was kidding about the "ambush" on the particular chat room. On that day I vowed to NEVER again plot riots in chat. LOL. I sincerely hope y'all be kind enough to share with me. And I really look forward to having the little "Registered User" under my name very soon! Y'all take care now! Bye! LatinChulo

 

[Lovely Latina]

Hiya LatinChulo...(mind if I call ya "Chewie"?)

Being a fellow "ex-chatroom whore" like yourself, I just wanted to welcome you to the board. There was a thread about two months ago on this very topic, so that may be why it's kinda quiet in here right now. Being new at that time, I had missed out on that thread, so I thought I'd recount my absolute MOST embarrassing moment for ya. Ya ready? (Apologies to anyone who's heard this from me before.)

I was 18-years-old and out on a date with this super hot, super sexy 23-year-old named Jeff. We had been on several dates before and wanted to make this one just a "casual, hanging out" sort of date. So we went bowling. Being that it was a Saturday night and all the KY rednecks were out, we had a TWO HOUR wait for a lane...sooooo we began sucking down some brewski's....then a couple more...then a couple more...then...you get the picture. As most of you know...I am but a petite petunia at 5'4" and can usually get a very nice buzz on with just a beer and a half...sometimes less depending on if I've eaten or not. By the time we got our lane, I had had four and was nursin' my fifth (the most I had ever drunk up to that point in my young life). Never bowled (or peed...hehe) so good in my life! LOL (Seeing double = twice the pins to knock down, right?)

After bowling we went back to my house (parents' house) and fooled around into a heated, lust-drenched, alcohol-induced frenzy before the reality of my father being within earshot set in. So I had to send him on his not-so merry way (poor guy) and pray that I didn't run into my father on the way up to my room. I didn't...phew...I was home free...he'd never know his "little baby daughter" (yes, *sigh*...I'm 29 and he STILL calls me that) had been drinking.

I woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly "okay." It was Sunday morning...had to get up and go to mass with my family at 10am like the good little Catholic girl that I was. So, not really having an appetite for breakfast or cereal...I headed to the fridge (no OJ...DAMN!) and had a glass of grape juice. (Can you see this comin'? lol)

So we're sitting in THE VERY FRONT PEW at church as we ALWAYS do thanks to my father, when mid-way during mass I start feeling a little dizzy and nauseous...little beads of sweat forming across my forehead. OH Noooo! I'm thinking to myself..."ok, Lis...only 20 more minutes...make it thru this mass...then you can go home and sleep the whole rest of the afternoon."

At about 10 minutes before the end of mass it happens...I KNEW I was gonna blow. I immediately got up and stumbled across the row of people to make out of the pew as quickly as possible. Right as I got to the end of the pew and into the side aisle...*ka-BLOOIE!* Bright red grape juice EVERYWHERE!

I'm running up the aisle at a most rapid pace...grape juice all down the front of my crisp, white cotton button-down shirt...probably looking like a panic-strickened mad dog (no offense MADDOG)...attention of the ENTIRE congregation focused on me...when I spew yet AGAIN half way up the aisle. OMG!! WILL THIS HORRIFIC NIGHTMARE EVER END!!

I FINALLY make it to the bathroom (*conveniently located* in the BACK of the church) and I'm done...I spew no more. My mother comes running into the bathroom frantic and yelling, "LISA! LISA! OMG! IS THAT BLOOD!?! IS THAT BLOOD!?!"

Barely able to speak as a result of my "trauma," I managed to utter, "No Mom...it's only grape juice."

<bangs head repeadedly against toilet seat>


Well, that was my first (but definitely NOT last) negative experience with alcohol. (And also the day I became a non-practicing Catholic <lol> ).

But it's okay...my therapist says that I should be gettin' over it any day now!

http://geocities.com/r337m0nk3y/net3/happy.gif

 

[Angelique]

LOL...thank you for that colorful story LL. I hadn't heard it before...but can relate. My first bout with morning sickness was immediately after drinking a glass of grape juice for breakfast...haven't been able to drink it since then.

Ok...Recently, I had a rather embarassing moment. I had been helping my 7 y/o daughter prepare for a spelling test. Mind you, she attends a catholic school. She had to know 10 words...no problem, right? Wrong!

One of her words was "fork". She knew how to spell it the night before the test, but somewhere along the line, had forgotten. The next day she brought home her spelling test with that particular word circled in bright red ink, and a nice little note from the teacher empasizing the need for continued practice in spelling. Ya' know how she spelled it? f-u-c-k I couldn't help but laugh, but at the same time was mortified!

So that's my most recent embarrassing moment.

Where are my manners...Welcome LatinChulo...glad to have you aboard.

[This message has been edited by Angelique (edited 05-25-2000).]

 

[Neoapril]

Welcome, LatinChulo, and may you continously avoid the wrath of the mighty force we call Lasher!

Now, that should take care of that pesky virginity!!

 

[LatinChulo]

Thank you very much for the wonderful warm welcomes and the warning as well. LOL

These were some funny stories! I just couldn't stop laughing! I don't know if laughing at your embarassing moment is a good thing, but.... okay - okay, I'm laughing with you. (Hee Hee Hee) Thank you oh so very mucho!

My bio has been posted in the "Member's Profiles" section. Check it out if you'd like to know more about me

About Lasher? OMG! I am only waiting for his first attack. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm not uptight or one to offend easily. The only way to offend me big time is to talk bad about the love of my life, "Punky Brewster"! I am so madly in love with her. LOL

Gracias por la bienvenida a todos! Adios!

~Chulo

P.S. It's ok to call me "Chewy" if you want!


[This message has been edited by LatinChulo (edited 05-26-2000).]

 

[Skibum]

Howdy, Chewie. Welcome to our little corner of the web. For my most embarassing moment,check the thread about what you wear to bed.

 

[Fox]

Hiya, Chewie! Welcome to the BB. Nothing too embarassing to relate yet, but just thought that I'd second what Neoapril said about Lasher. Or maybe you'd best piss him off right away and get used to him tearing out a piece of flesh now and again!

Cheers!
Fox

 

[Nicole]

Oh and Skibum I'm still laughing about that now

 

[Lasher]

Tsk, tsk, tsk...sometimes I am so disappointed in you people. Using words like "anger" and "attack" and "pissed-off" to describe my posts....It just goes to show how truly misunderstood I really am.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, nothing anyone says on this board pisses me off...that would mean I would actually have to care, and honestly I don't. You would be more correct to describe me as demonstrative and opinionated....

And besides, it's not my fault if people can't except a thoughtful critique...

And everything I do is done with equanimity and love...

AND, I'd really rather not have to spend all my time peppering [joke] and [/joke] tags throughtout my posts...nor do I want to spend my time writing <tongue firmly in cheek> and <said with large shit eating grin>....

I know a few of you get it, the rest of you could at least ask them to interpret before going apeshit over something silly...

Ok, go ahead and attack me for being mean and nasty now....Just for that I'm not gonna tell ya what I REALLY think about morning radio shows.....(too late!!! you had your chance...Neener, neener, neener!!).

 

[Neoapril]

Awww, Lasher, you need a hug! I'd give you one myself, but I'm not a "hugger". But I do respect your opinions. I'll stop there, as I don't want to put my foot in my mouth any more than I may already have!

 

[Cyra_3]

Lasher, you're mean and nasty and I attack you for it


[This message has been edited by Cyra_3 (edited 05-27-2000).]

 

[Melody_lane]

Fuck, how many women don't want to attack Lasher!?!

(grins coyly)

 

[Lasher]

OMG, Cyra! Someone with a sense of humor!! How did you get in here?

 

[Lasher]

LMAO...

Melody, you get all the women to start chanting, "GO LASHER! GO LASHER! GO LASHER..." and then I'll start doing my best Cabbage Patch for ya'all. How does that sound??

 

[Melody_lane]

Promises, promises....

 

[Earthgoddess]

Hello and welcome to you, for my most embarrassing moment check out the what do you wear to bed thread- I am still coping with that trauma.

 

[LatinChulo]

Ok, ok, I'm just gonna come out and say it.... Lasher does not seem so mean. Of course he could have called me a "7 -Layer Burrito making, Second hand store fashion expert, Taco-eating, cable stealing, 12+ baby making, grass cutting, BEANER". But knowing that simple wise cracks won't pop an ego, he decided to let me continue being the smart ass that I am. You're a good man Lash, I don't care what anyone says. LOL

About what you think of radio stations... ... .... Well hell, if you smell what this Jock is cooking, Then you'd figure by now that for fights I'm not looking. I'm just trying to express curupt thoughts, While laying on a cement block cot inside a chop shop lot. I'd rather rot in jail, or melt in hell, than tell a tale of how to prevail if I fell and you jumped to the number one slot. You attack with a mouth to talk smack, I attack with a battle rap that won't hurt jack. So what you say we form an alliance to talk s*it and spit lip, lick tit, flip it, kick it, get hit, I don't think! Blood spatter, Chitter chatter, She's on the ragger, That explains the pitter patter late at night heading to the crapper, to do the.... IT DOESN'T MATTER! JABRONI

~~LatinChulo, AKA The Jock °(~ - ^)°

P.S. These Lyrics Are NOT Intended To Hurt Feelings Or Break Hearts. LOL JK

[This message has been edited by LatinChulo (edited 05-28-2000).]

 

[Cyra_3]

OMG I just got a compliment from Lasher, at least I think I did, maybe I should go back and double check

 

[SimplySouthern]

Ok, after the quasi-rap of LC, how can my pitiful little post even hope to compare?

I will tell you my very very most embarassing moment so that you can all cry with me...and I do expect each and every one of you to shed at least a tear or two of embarassemnt for me. <Stern Glare>

This year, on New Year's Eve, I decided to go and participate in the "ride-along" program that is offered at the police department where my brother is an officer. I have ridden along with him several times as well as with his "brothers in blue" <insert dramatic pause here>

This evening turned out to be a little different. He has a Sgt. on his shift that is quite the hottie if you know what I mean. He and I have been sharing these sneaky "if I ever got my hands on you" glances for months and of course the occasional flirting that comes from a woman like myself loving the look of a man in uniform...dont get me started. This particular night, he asks me to ride with him so that I can be privy to the most important of calls (as he is the Sgt. and will get to go to all the good ones)

We are riding along, waiting on drunk drivers. Of course, you can't be in plain sight for this type of covert mission. So we (OK, he) decide to park back away from the road in an area that is used often for exactly this type of operation (waiting on drunk drivers, not what ensues between us).

It is almost midnight (bout 11:45) when we decide to hop out of the car and look for fireworks. We sit on the hood, and he looks over at me and we just start attacking one another. Pent up sexual frustration consumes the both of us and neither of us give a second thought in the world about his job and/or his coworkers (one of whom is my protective older brother). Of course things heat up and before long we are well....ya know "talking with our mouths full".

Skip forward about 10 minutes and get to the good part. Fireworks we did hear...along with sirens that we didnt attribute to the search party that is now looking for us. Guess what? They find us! It seems that all new police cars are ready-equipped with these great devices that can locate the car at anytime. Well, of course, with my luck, my brother is the first to find us followed closely by the entire posse. Suffice to say that I went home that night with a smile and a red face!

Men in uniform no more...I have learned my lesson!