Ejaculation control

[King_Louis]

Dear Guys and Girls,

does anyone have advice on how a guy can control his time ejaculation? Not from perspective of cuming to early, but rather cuming on time and not too late. The issue is not reliability of production, it is the delivery time. I have read some articles about pelvic floor muscle control and some similar Tantric ideas, but I thought from the communities great collective experience someone might have some insight.

Thanks for you advice

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

Think of the sexual experience in terms of accomplishing objectives. When you're just getting things started with your lady and it's inappropriate to bust a nut, then chill your mentality. Your brain is your biggest sex organ...remember. When you see HER tempo getting really excited etc, then you should let your excitement bump up a notch or two. Allow yourself to swoon in the experience and really just thoroughly enjoy what you're doing without focusing on the "end result". Then, when it's time to pop (and only while she's POPPING) allow yourself to focus on your desire to pop and let it happen.

I think you have a really good question here and it's really a matter of mind over body. I think that it's easy for guys to just let things cum as they will (which is usually sooner than later). But if you are on your game and you focus, you can be a pro. What the hell do you think porn stars do?

Good luck.
Jack

 

[Cathleen]

dup..

 

[Cathleen]

What the hell do you think porn stars do?

Oh, I'd say about 50 or more takes on the simulated scene.


King Louis, if I'm understanding correctly, your goal is for you both to have coinciding orgasms. A personal question here, is your lady a 'one and done' or does she/can she have multiple orgasms? Is this something you both strive for and work towards? If so I agree with Jack, it's going to be an issue of the mind. The mind is the best sexual organ (not to nit pick on Jack but the skin is actually the largest sexual organ). Communicating, physically and verbally, pushing towards the climax together seems like a place to start.

Welcome to Lit.

 

[irish_male]

Hmmm interesting topic, something that had beeen on my err.... mind for a while. So its all down to the mind you say?

 

[SweetErika]

I wonder where the idea of simultaneous orgasms being necessary or ideal came from.

I guess I've just never seen it as a goal. As long as we're both feeling satisfied by the encounter, who cares when (or even if) our orgasms occur? Plus, I greatly prefer my partner completely enjoying the experience, rather than being distracted by trying to hold off or hurry up.

If we both get there at the same time, fine, but it's not like coming at different times detracts from the experience in any way. In fact, it usually enhances it for us because we enjoy each other's orgasms more when we actually get to see and feel them!

 

[love2b8]

fuck more

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

SweetErika!
Good point! I agree with you totally. 100%. And your comments are definitely worth mention. The only problem is that they don't answer the original question which is "how to control oneself" essentially.

While I agree that this shouldn't be an issue, if it is for this one dude, then we're giving him all the info we can on how he can accomplish his desired goal. Maybe it's his goal to do it "once" and to be able to accomplish it if he wants to, but then not to worry about it any more.

Good points though and I do agree with your assessment.
Jack

 

[SweetErika]

SweetErika!
Good point! I agree with you totally. 100%. And your comments are definitely worth mention. The only problem is that they don't answer the original question which is "how to control oneself" essentially.

While I agree that this shouldn't be an issue, if it is for this one dude, then we're giving him all the info we can on how he can accomplish his desired goal. Maybe it's his goal to do it "once" and to be able to accomplish it if he wants to, but then not to worry about it any more.

Good points though and I do agree with your assessment.
Jack

I wasn't aware there was any written or tacit rule stating we must contribute to threads in certain ways, such as providing a solution with our comment.

As it so happens, I just didn't feel the need to repeat what others, including the OP himself, had said in terms of solutions. When someone(s) has already said what I'm thinking, I'm not really one to repeat it or say I agree, just for the sake of agreeing or racking up another post, unless they said it in a way that strikes me as particularly interesting or poignant. So, in those cases, I either keep my mouth shut or look for other thoughts I have on the topic, depending on how much it interests me.

My view is that this is a DISCUSSION-oriented board, and I brought up a relevant topic to be discussed, if anyone so chooses to do so. That's different from an Answer board, where only specific answers would be welcome. I know there are boards like that out there, but this really isn't one of them.

I hope that gives you an idea of why people like me may not always answer questions in a specific way, as it sounds like you think we should.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I wasn't aware there was any written or tacit rule stating we must contribute to threads in certain ways, such as providing a solution with our comment.

Lit Etiquette Guidelines, page 112, paragraph 4, sub-section C, clearly states ...


King_Louis - In a word, practice. Yes, toning your keigle muscles will help, but so will practice. Get yourself close, then pause and let the feeling pass, then start again. In time you'll be able to hold off the orgasm until you're "ready" to release it. Also, the more frequently you have sex, the less "excited" you'll be and be able to hold off orgasm as well. That is not to say that you won't be into the encounter, only that there's a difference between not having had sex for a month and being hornier than hell, and just having been relieved the night before. There are no rules that say you need to cum simultaneously either. If you do, great, but it doesn't increase the pleasure one way or the other. The important thing is that both partners are satisfied with the encounter - orgasm or not.

 

[kimbernee]

Isn't he asking the opposite question?

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

SweetErika,
I apologize for hitting your sensitive button. I thought I was pretty clear that you made very valuable points. I only differentiated that in that particular case, those points didn't coincide with the writers goal.

Free speech is a wonderful thing. Far be it from me to try to squelch yours. Not only that, but I've read many, many of your posts on here and they're all what I believe is heartfelt good advice.

Again, I had no intentions of pissing you off or hitting what is evidently a very sensitive spot with you. You can rest assured that I won't try to re-direct a conversation you've taken part in in the future

You evidently are of the opinon that I was trying to shut you down, and that's far from the truth. On the other hand, I would consider myself to be somewhat of an advocate of yours.

Sorry for the problem though, but if my memory serves me right this is the 2nd time one of my comments hasn't set well with you. Hmmm...maybe it's me...maybe it's you.
Either way, I come on here for fun and not to screw up anybody's day. I apologize if I screwed yours.

Jack

 

[mjl2010]

Lit Etiquette Guidelines, page 112, paragraph 4, sub-section C, clearly states ...

That's sub-section D now. Ever since Manu did the upgrades. Really. I don't know why people don't keep up on these things.

*sigh*

MJL Really NM, I just couldn't help myself.

 

[ticketyboo]

Dear Guys and Girls,

does anyone have advice on how a guy can control his time ejaculation? Not from perspective of cuming to early, but rather cuming on time and not too late. The issue is not reliability of production, it is the delivery time. I have read some articles about pelvic floor muscle control and some similar Tantric ideas, but I thought from the communities great collective experience someone might have some insight.

Thanks for you advice

you mentioned tantric- really visit a tantric goddess - they are experienced in this field from premature ejaculation to orgasm control - you can both go along as a couple - you will be guided by these experienced tantric therapists - we know as we have had a few sessions with a goddess here in london

 

[NippleMuncher]

That's sub-section D now. Ever since Manu did the upgrades. Really. I don't know why people don't keep up on these things.

*sigh*

MJL Really NM, I just couldn't help myself.

You're right, people really should keep abreast of things like this, I mean ... HEEYYY, WAIT A MINUTE

I couldn't help myself either and was hoping to give SweetE a smile too.

 

[mjl2010]

You're right, people really should keep abreast of things like this, I mean ... HEEYYY, WAIT A MINUTE

I couldn't help myself either and was hoping to give SweetE a smile too.

With any luck, we both managed.

Some 's for Erika.

MJL

 

[In Anticipation]

I was going to write that I time my ejaculations with a stop watch but thought that would be flippant.

I can't help much but I do have the ability to control when I have my orgasm. I was in a miserable marriage for many years and the one thing we could do was have simultaneous orgasms.

I'm now in a happy long term relationship where we have never had a simultaneous orgasm. Go figure . . .

As someone else has said it isn't everything. However, I agree it is nice to be able to either hold back or respond to encouragement.

 

[JamieB]

Figure it out

Actually, I think the best advice you've gotten on this thread so far (no offense to the others) is: fuck more.

Sex is like tennis or bridge or weight training in some ways. After a while, you learn how your partner thinks and reacts to the things you do.

There are positions that will work for her better, foreplay that will set her up better for orgasm, and things you can do during the act itself that will bring her closer. You have to watch her, learn from her responses, listen to what she tells you verbally and non-verbally, and then speed yourself up, slow yourself down, or work her "sweet spots" more quickly or more slowly.

It's an investment and it takes some time. It depends on how dedicated you are to her and on how close you are now to simultaneous orgasms. But it's sweet when you get it down.

J