Einstein's Jokees

[TE999]

A bear limps into a bar and hollers "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"

 

[damppanties]

Stella walks into a forum looking for Dampy.

 

[Xelebes]

For four minutes and twenty-seven seconds.

What happened to those six seconds?

 

[john-the-author]

What happened to those six seconds?

Oh, fuck, you're right. My bad!

 

[Xelebes]

Actually a better one for John Cage is more along the lines of "Three pianos walked into a bar..."

 

[slyc_willie]

A bear limps into a bar and hollers "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"

A horse walks into a bar and kicks the bartender.

"It's supposed to be that way!"

 

[xssve]

Tchaikovsky: three swans walk into a barre...

 

[xssve]

De Sade: Three nuns are bent over a bar...

 

[xssve]

Copernicus: The Pope, an Archbishop and a Prelate revolve around a bar...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Halley swings by a bar every 72 years.

 

[gauchecritic]

Ridley Scott: A skinjob walks into a bar and recognises it from old family photographs

Rutger Hauer walks into a bar and orders a Guinness

 

[xssve]

Adolph Hitler walks into a bar and orders a Jew, a homosexual and a Gypsy to take a shower.

 

[TE999]

Heinrich Himmler walks into a bar and orders a slave laborer on the rocks.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Hermann Goering walks into a bar, takes a drink and says "They're right, this stuff does taste like bitter almonds."

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Where the fuck is Sher? I always used to be able to find her here!

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Where the fuck is Sher? I always used to be able to find her here!

I saw one of her topics from 2006 bumped earlier today and thought she had come back. I was very upset to see that it was a bump

Good to see you back again though

 

[shereads]

Chekhov: A modern young man, a bespectacled teacher and a woman of indeterminate years walk into formal dress shoes...

Mr Chekhov: two aging graduates from the Lee Strasberg institute and some random guy in a red vest get beamed down to a desert...

Ann Frank: Three Nazis search a bar...

CharleyH: These guys.. um.. sometimes all three.. a hen pecking my toes...

A duck bumps into a post...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Harpo Marx honks into a bar.

 

[packersfan]

Shroedinger: You don't know until you open the door whether the cat is alive or dead, or even present, in the bar.

Turtledove: Abraham Lincoln, Karl Marx, and Cassius enter a bar to organize the oppressed workers against the Establishment.

 

[TE999]

Attilla the Hun loots and pillages a bar...and another...and another...

 

[packersfan]

Gandhi and 78 followers walked to the sea to go to a bar for Mai Tai's

 

[shereads]

It's great to see this thread bumped. If only I could undo the typo in the thread title.

The problem with "jokees" is that it doesn't look like a typo. It looks like a word invented by someone who dots her eyes with little hearts.

[/threadjack]

Carry on.

 

[neonlyte]

Dumbledore: It's not the bar, Harry... it's what the bar represents.

Gordon Brown: Prudence! Get out of the bar.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

It's great to see this thread bumped. If only I could undo the typo in the thread title.

The problem with "jokees" is that it doesn't look like a typo. It looks like a word invented by someone who dots her eyes with little hearts.

[/threadjack]

Carry on.

Wait! You DON'T dot your eyes with little hearts?



I've been so disillusioned.

 

[TE999]

A Romulan, A Klingon and a Vulcan walk into a bar on DS9 and are short changed by a Ferengi...