Edit v2

[Lia Monde]

Don't worry, your sexual fantasies aren't bizarre, no matter what they say.

Bizarre is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Hornblende]

The glint is in the eye of the beholder.

Are you condoning my voyeurism?

 

[MichaelinChina]

Are you a condom salesman?

No, I always carry a full selection in my suitcase.

 

[wildebird]

You know, I always carry a bull's erection in my suit pants.

And here I thought you just had a large ocarina in your pocket.

 

[Hornblende]

And here I thought you were dancing the Macarena in your pocket.

No, although it may have looked like that...

 

[barefootgirl69]

So, although I may have looked like an innocent lad...

You may have fooled your mother, but I've seen your thread... nothing innocent going on there!

 

[Hornblende]

I may have ogled your thread... nothing innocent going on there!

Now come on BFG - I am as pure and innocent as the driven snow.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Now come on BFG - I am as hungry as a bear!

Good thing I've fixed a big lunch!

 

[Hornblende]

Good thing I've launched a big fax!

A fax? How quaint - who is the recipient?

 

[wildebird]

It's a fact; I'll faint - who has the spider spray?

Good grief; I thought you Brits had stronger balls than that!

 

[MichaelinChina]

Good grief; I hoped you wouldn't fall for that!

Sorry, to disappoint.

 

[wildebird]

Sorry, I missed your point.

Clearly, young man, you were not being attentive! Okay, once more...

 

[barefootgirl69]

Clearly, young lady, you didn't learn the recipe! Try it once more...

I thought it turned out pretty well!

 

[MichaelinChina]

I thought I'd burn in Hell

Oh, you've been and come back then? Any souvenirs?

 

[wildebird]

Oh, your banana's gone black then? Any playful ideas?

Overly ripe bananas are just not as enticing. We should get a firm, fresh one.

 

[Hornblende]

Over-the-eye bandanas are just not as enticing.

It's not a good look, is it?

 

[MichaelinChina]

It's not a good book, is it?

But many people claim they just love Fifty Shades of Grey.

 

[wildebird]

But many people claim they just love Shifty Maids of May.

Oh, yes! One of my favorites! "...Tra la, it's May; the lusty month of May..."

Except, somehow it has become September.

 

[Hornblende]

I'm expecting to come in September.

Well hurry up, we're already well into the month and we want details!

 

[MichaelinChina]

Well hurry up, we're already well into the month and we want sales!

Yes boss, sure boss, three bags full boss! rolleyes

 

[wildebird]

Yes, puss, here puss; three blind mice for you, puss!

When my pussy (cat) is being elusive, I use tuna fish.

 

[MichaelinChina]

When my pussy is excited, it smells like tuna fish.

Good thing I love seafood then.

 

[wildebird]

Good thing I love seafood then.

Pretty sure I knew that was coming...

"Wood, men, I love to see good wood."

Well, I like to see a man with good wood as well. But didn't expect that from YOU!

 

[Hornblende]

Pretty sure I knew that was coming...


Well, I like to treat a man to good food as well.

Oh excellent - I'd love a fillet steak!

 

[wildebird]

Uhhh..., egg salad? I'd prefer a cream filled cake!

Welll...if you've got the cream, I can provide the cake.