Dull thread

[Guest]

My apology, Tulip. It's one of my favorite words (for sentimental reasons), but I'll stop for you.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Goddess of Twat?

Is she tall or short, or dark or fair?
Does she sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair,
or SQUAT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Is she wise or foolish, young or old?
Does she drink her soup and her coffee cold,
or HOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
And when riding abroad does she gallop or walk
or TROT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
Does she sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,
or COT,
The Goddess of Twat?

When she writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does she cross her T's and finish her I's
with a DOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Can she write a letter concisely clear
Without a speck or a smudge or smear
or BLOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Do her people like her extremely well?
Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,
or PLOT,
At the Goddess of Twat?

If she catches them then, either old or young,
Does she have them chopped in pieces or hung,
or SHOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Do her people prig in the lanes or park?
Or even at times, when days are dark,
GAROTTE,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she study the wants of her own dominion?
Or doesn't she care for public opinion
a JOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

To amuse her mind do her people show her
Pictures, or any one's last new poem,
or WHAT,
For the Goddess of Twat?

At night if she suddenly screams and wakes,
Do they bring her only a few small cakes,
or a LOT,
For the Goddess of Twat?

Does she live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
Does she like her shawl to be marked with a stripe,
or a DOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she like to lie on her back in a boat
Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,
SHALLOTT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Is she quiet, or always making a fuss?
Is her steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ,
or a SCOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does like to sit by the calm blue wave?
Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,
or a GROTT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?
or a POT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she beat her wife with a gold-topped pipe,
When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe,
or ROT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she wear a white tie when she dines with friends,
And tie it neat in a bow with ends,
or a KNOT.
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
When she looks at the sun does she wink her eyes,
or NOT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Does she teach her subjects to roast and bake?
Does she sail about on an inland lake
in a YACHT,
The Goddess of Twat?

Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
Who or which or why or what
Is the Goddess of Twat?

-- After Edward Lear

 

[Guest]

O, Josh, hire me and I'll answer all. (That was brilliant!)

twatingly, Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

That sounds fair, Flicka. May I be the Goddess of Twat? I know all the rules.

P.

Yes, you may.


Oh, no! I kissed the Goddess of Twat! Dang! I KNEW I shouldn't have written that LS-story last year! Aaaaaaah! It's the Toaster People! Run! Run for your life!!!

 

[oggbashan]

Now I can never read "The Akond of Swot" again.

Well done.

Og

 

[damppanties]

To think that this thread was started to get a certain someone to get to his writing and then he comes and posts a thing which must have distracted him...

Was really nice though.

 

[Guest]

That certain someone should post it as poetry, nudge nudge.

a fan, Perdita

p.s. with a special dedication of course, hint hint

 

[Guest]

As Og said, it was the master of nonsense himself, Edward Lear.

 

[Guest]

Oh, no! I kissed the Goddess of Twat! Dang!

Now I am divinely insulted.

Le Twatness

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Now I am divinely insulted.

Le Twatness

I was speaking in general, P.

 

[Guest]

I was speaking in general, P.

All is well then among godesses.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Am but a demi-goddess...can I hang here for a bit?

~lucky

 

[Black Tulip]

I've stuffed my ears and shut my eyes.

Deliciously dull.

 

[Guest]

Am but a demi-goddess...can I hang here for a bit?

Nothing demi about you, Lucky.

Perdita

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Nothing demi about you, Lucky.

Perdita

why Perdita, you are divine, but I could never compete with the likes of you and Svenskaflicka...would be an ugly defeat indeed.

~lucky (quite happy in demi status as long as I can keep company with the goddesses)

Is there a mentor program or apprenticeship to becoming a Goddess? If so, where do I sign up?

 

[Guest]

Is there a mentor program or apprenticeship to becoming a Goddess? If so, where do I sign up?

Brilliant idea. Will think on it and perhaps start a new thread. I would be honored to have you as a protégé.

Perdita

 

[pop_54]

Ha

why Perdita, you are divine, but I could never compete with the likes of you and Svenskaflicka...would be an ugly defeat indeed.

~lucky (quite happy in demi status as long as I can keep company with the goddesses)

Is there a mentor program or apprenticeship to becoming a Goddess? If so, where do I sign up?

You're there already in my eyes sweetheart

 

[Guest]

Re: Ha

You're there already in my eyes sweetheart

The Pirate man is right, Lucky. We wouldn't be goddesses if it weren't for men like Pops. I learned that yesterday in a taxi cab.

Perdita

 

[pop_54]

Re: Re: Ha

The Pirate man is right, Lucky. We wouldn't be goddesses if it weren't for men like Pops. I learned that yesterday in a taxi cab.

Perdita

In a taxi, that's different, best I've managed is a bus

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Brilliant idea. Will think on it and perhaps start a new thread. I would be honored to have you as a protégé.

Perdita

I am a very fast learner and would do my best to make you proud, dear Goddess of Twat.

~lucky (just got luckier)

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Ha

You're there already in my eyes sweetheart

Well, thank you Pop! You are too kind...wanna take a taxi ride?

~lucky (Goddess of Pop)

 

[Guest]

I just sneezed.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Bless You!

 

[Guest]

Thank you!

 

[minsue]

My husband is snoring. The dog stopped snoring.