Ok, maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like there's a double standard when it comes to being bi or gay. To me, it's almost fashionable to be a lesbian or a bi-woman, but if you're male, forget it. Reading some of the responses about peoples experiences when they came out, it looks like if you're a woman, the response, for the most part, is either 1)Really? Cool. or 2)Well, I'm sure you think so, but I'm think it's just a phase you're going through. If you're a guy, though, the response tends to be quite a bit more negative. Any opinions people?
Double Standard?
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Queersetti
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I do think society has become, in relative terms, more open to lesbians than to gay men.
Perhaps that is because society, generally, still does not put as much weight on the importance of female sexuality as it does on male sexuality, and therefore, any challenge to the conventional understanding of "masculinity" is more threatening than a similar challenge to "femininity".
Perhaps that is because society, generally, still does not put as much weight on the importance of female sexuality as it does on male sexuality, and therefore, any challenge to the conventional understanding of "masculinity" is more threatening than a similar challenge to "femininity".
Samuelx
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Yeah, there's a double standard. So far, the people I've told about my bisexuality have been okay. My friend David is a hetero male. He knows. He even encourages me to continue with my current project, a semi-autobiographical book about the life of a bisexual man. My friend Stacy and I don't see each other much anymore ( we go to different schools now) but she was okay with my being bi. My cousin Mario from NY is also supportive. Sometimes, I wonder if Mario is bi. He has a thing for shemales but considers himself hetero. Oh, well. To each their own.
Tymeless
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my insight on the subject is this anal sex isn't as openly accepted in heterosex as oral sex and fingering etc. so while lesbian sex though its not the same as what we all think really happens its acceptable to society because we think its just alot of touching and licking etc. but we don't like the thought of anal in general which is what we think happens in male gay sex.
correct me if i'm wrong.
correct me if i'm wrong.
I agree that it's not as accepted, but a lot of the hatred towards gay men has to do with oral sex, too. It might be related to anal, but I feel like it's more of an ignorance thing. I'm sure some men accept lesbians because they watch "lesbian" porn and think it's hot. Because of that, society in general becomes more accepting of lesbians and bi women, but guys can't understand gay men because they think gay sex is being gross and they believe that all gay men do is have sex. Guys are (generally) more likely to behave in an unaccepting and sometimes violent way, so their disapproval of gay men gets voiced louder than any female opposition to lesbians. Most people just do what society tells them, and since society is filled with homophobic morons, homophobia spreads like wildfire.Tymeless said:
Stefani
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Howard Stern typifies the double standard. He loves lesbians, and makes fun of gays.
DarKirby hit the nail on the proverbial head. Homophobia is like a "plague" that infects the straight population. They're scared to death that someone will accuse them of being gay... which always strikes me as rather insecure on their part... like, maybe they have homosexual dreams, and the thought that they could be gay... knowing how persecuted gays are... the entire concept blows their mind. So what do they do? They go to great lengths to prove to THEMSELF that they are not gay. What's the easiest way to do that? Take part in some good, old fashioned fag bashing.
I admire a straight man that is secure enough in his own sexuality to have gay friends.
The irony to all of this, is that over the years I've run into red necks, who when horny enough, or drunk enough... will try to hump my leg. These same guys that want to drag me behind their pickup truck when they're with their buddies... get them alone... and they're rubbing their crotch against the back of my dress.
Over the years i've heard from 10's of 1,000's of "straight" men who seemed to consider TS's a strange, gray area... a middle ground between the sexes... transsexuals are a safe playground for straight men to experiment with their sexuality.
If a man is coming on to me, and tells me he's "straight" ... it's a major turnoff. When a man tries to get into my panties and tells me he's straight, he's a liar... not a great way to impress a grrl.
*Public Service Announcement*
*Attention: Lost Straight Men Reading This Board*
Not all transsexuals are sex addicts.
Not all transsexuals live to suck your c**k.
Not all transsexuals are interested in f**king you.
Calling a transsexual a "shemale" more than likely will not get you laid.
Believe it or not, transsexuals are just people, and if they're taking hormones - sex is more than likely going to be the last thing on their mind.
Sorry for getting off track.
Steffie
DarKirby hit the nail on the proverbial head. Homophobia is like a "plague" that infects the straight population. They're scared to death that someone will accuse them of being gay... which always strikes me as rather insecure on their part... like, maybe they have homosexual dreams, and the thought that they could be gay... knowing how persecuted gays are... the entire concept blows their mind. So what do they do? They go to great lengths to prove to THEMSELF that they are not gay. What's the easiest way to do that? Take part in some good, old fashioned fag bashing.
I admire a straight man that is secure enough in his own sexuality to have gay friends.
The irony to all of this, is that over the years I've run into red necks, who when horny enough, or drunk enough... will try to hump my leg. These same guys that want to drag me behind their pickup truck when they're with their buddies... get them alone... and they're rubbing their crotch against the back of my dress.
Over the years i've heard from 10's of 1,000's of "straight" men who seemed to consider TS's a strange, gray area... a middle ground between the sexes... transsexuals are a safe playground for straight men to experiment with their sexuality.
If a man is coming on to me, and tells me he's "straight" ... it's a major turnoff. When a man tries to get into my panties and tells me he's straight, he's a liar... not a great way to impress a grrl.
*Public Service Announcement*
*Attention: Lost Straight Men Reading This Board*
Not all transsexuals are sex addicts.
Not all transsexuals live to suck your c**k.
Not all transsexuals are interested in f**king you.
Calling a transsexual a "shemale" more than likely will not get you laid.
Believe it or not, transsexuals are just people, and if they're taking hormones - sex is more than likely going to be the last thing on their mind.
Sorry for getting off track.
Steffie
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revolution724
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I could write a very, very long diatribe about this, but I will summarize instead.
First, think about how coincidental it is that female/female sex turns on so many straight men.
Then, think about the tendency for males to objectify their sexual partners.
Then, think about how extreme the consequences for gender transgression can be.
It's just a hell of a lot more threatening to the structure of male dominance for men to sleep with men (an inherently more equal relationship and subversive of male dominance over female sexual partners) than for women to sleep with women (when this can be a.) not taken seriously, and b.) turned to an instrument of male pleasure).
Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism, by Suzanne Pharr, is a really interesting book. And short (about 100 pages long). Recommended reading.
First, think about how coincidental it is that female/female sex turns on so many straight men.
Then, think about the tendency for males to objectify their sexual partners.
Then, think about how extreme the consequences for gender transgression can be.
It's just a hell of a lot more threatening to the structure of male dominance for men to sleep with men (an inherently more equal relationship and subversive of male dominance over female sexual partners) than for women to sleep with women (when this can be a.) not taken seriously, and b.) turned to an instrument of male pleasure).
Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism, by Suzanne Pharr, is a really interesting book. And short (about 100 pages long). Recommended reading.
Wow. Thanks everyone for your ideas. When I asked this I didn't think there would be that many responses, at least, not so fast and so many different thoughts on the subject. Nice to see I'm not the only one that thinks so. Well, let's see here...
Hmmm...I don't know. I think it's not so much anal sex, per se, as who is involved. Tell a hetro male that you know a girl who LOVES anal and the first thing they'll think is "she must be kinky, I wonder what ELSE she likes (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)". If a hetro male, however, says he likes receiving anal, then he 1)must have something wrong with him, or 2)gay and won't admit it.
Either way, your the target of a whole lot of grief. At least it seems that way to me.
Tymeless said:
Hmmm...I don't know. I think it's not so much anal sex, per se, as who is involved. Tell a hetro male that you know a girl who LOVES anal and the first thing they'll think is "she must be kinky, I wonder what ELSE she likes (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)". If a hetro male, however, says he likes receiving anal, then he 1)must have something wrong with him, or 2)gay and won't admit it.
Either way, your the target of a whole lot of grief. At least it seems that way to me.
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