Dom/me's, question for you....

[Mistress Tae]

How do you view your "role" in your relationship (if you are in/have one)? And did you always know you were a Dom/me, or was it something you realized over time?

I will post my thoughts when I'm not so tired, but I just wanted hear from others out there. My apologies if there is/has been a thead like this, again, I'm tired and the thought just popped into my head. *g*

Mistress Tae

 

[Shadowsdream]

How do you view your "role" in your relationship (if you are in/have one)? And did you always know you were a Dom/me, or was it something you realized over time?

I will post my thoughts when I'm not so tired, but I just wanted hear from others out there. My apologies if there is/has been a thead like this, again, I'm tired and the thought just popped into my head. *g*

Mistress Tae

No I did not always know I was a Domme...I didn't even know what a Domme was but My nature was dominant though I often did not realize it Myself. Most of the women in My family are or have been dominant by nature. So perhaps it is as much genetic as anything else in My case.

My role in My relationship is Mistress and Owner of a submissive male who had the desire to be taken to slavery (O/our interpretation) I almost micro manage his life...encouraging his friendships and free time with said friends. I stay on top of his work schedule and kick his butt to make certain he keeps his face in front of his employers. ( self-employed) I keep him in chastity 85% to 95% of the time and control his sexuality 100% of the time. I help him solve family conflicts and annoyances. I teach him endurance and obedience by pushing his limits and teach him responsibility in relationship to the lifestyle he has freely chosen.
My role as his Mistress is to continue to take him deeper and deeper into his submission, to never lessen My hold on his leash due to the love I have for him. To keep My hard edge when needed and to share My laughter easily. My role is one I joyfully embrace, Domination comes naturally and honestly..it turns Me on!

 

[Arkontheroof]

No, I didn't always know I was, and I suspect that deep down I'm actually a switch - it's just that I have little trust for humanity left (so little chance of surrendering much to anyone!) and the dynamics of my relationships have never tended that way.

Ultimately, a relationship with a D/s componant is, for me, just like any other: it requires communication, sensitivity and above all respect. It's just that with a D/s element, well, there is an exchange of power and a huge degree of room to explore...!

 

[SweetDommes]

How do you view your "role" in your relationship (if you are in/have one)? And did you always know you were a Dom/me, or was it something you realized over time?

I will post my thoughts when I'm not so tired, but I just wanted hear from others out there. My apologies if there is/has been a thead like this, again, I'm tired and the thought just popped into my head. *g*

Mistress Tae

We view our role as owners of pets. We have a small zoo already, and are just going to add our sub-pets to it ... and as long as they behave, they will be just as spoiled as the 4-footed pets are.

We didn't always have the name for it, but we have always been ... agressive, assertive ... whatever you want to call it. We didn't realize what we are until after we started looking for boys, actually. We joked about getting housebitches for a few years, then started looking ... and realized that there really are people out there who think that having housebitches is ok, and people who want to be said bitches... was a very nice realization to make.

 

[Mistress Tae]

Thank you!

Thank you for taking the time to reply to this, I really appreciate the look at it through all of your eyes. I am still reletively new to all of this and I'm just trying to find my way.

Though I never necessarily knew I was a Domme all of my life, I do believe that there were certain characteristics that have been there all along. I view this journey of mine into this lifestyle as a way to explore these characteristics in a deeper, hopefully more fullfilling way.

As to how I view my relationship with my sub, well, I will just keep you informed on that. Each day I learn something new, each moment I am filled with more ideas and things I would like to try with him. I will say that I am extremely commited to him and this journey, I respect him fully, and love him more than ever.

Now, if you have any wicked ideas for a male sub that is a long way away from me for the time being, I'd love to hear those too. It can't hurt to add to what I've already thought of.

Mistress Tae

 

[Netzach]

Using my brain and words to make extraordinary things happen and persuade people has been my lifelong passion. It just fits in so well with D sexuality too.

 

[SweetDommes]

Re: Thank you!

Now, if you have any wicked ideas for a male sub that is a long way away from me for the time being, I'd love to hear those too. It can't hurt to add to what I've already thought of.

Mistress Tae

Our current favorite thing to do to our boy is to talk about us modeling new bras for each other, playing with the floggers with each other, and then send him cyber "random licks" ... he gets so frustrated so quickly when we start doing that ... I wonder why?

 

[AgentAika]

Never a moment's doubt!
The idea of someone Dom-ing me is ridiculous.....at least it was until I met my Master!

I never even realised I had any subbie tendencies until I met Him!

He knew exactly what to do to me and how to get the best out of me - both for His pleasure and my own.
And he still does...oh he *so* does!
Hehe!

Despite being completely submissive with Him - He is the only person that gets this from me - with anyone else, I do not/would not even consider letting them Top me!
I so have to be in charge!

Funny ol' world we have isn't it?

 

[KestralWolfe]

As I am slaveless for the moment, I do not know if you want my reply as well, but here goes.....


I have always been a little Dommely...as a kid, I *had* to be in charge of everything we did (friends and I) and if I weren't I did not participate, lol

As I grew up, my need for control has broadened, and at the same time, been narrowed down. On one side, there is the need to be in control of myself, no matter what the situation is ... unhealthy to a degree ... and on the other side is my ...quite healthy ... attraction to bdsm, specifically Domination (doing, not done to, lol)

Now, for the other query...

When I am in a Ds relationship, I am the stern taskmistress, the lover, teacher, guide, confidant...

For me, Domination carries with it some implied duties (for me, not for everyone)

1. To teach the slave, broaden her horizons to include: Religeous history (ancient/modern comparisons)

2. To care for her, to watch out for her physical, mental and emotional well-being at all times

3. To make sure she is up on current events

4. to allow her to work at least a part-time job, and save everything she earns for when the contract between us is ended, and when that contract does end, to help her into anew place to live, or to find a new Dominant to go to

5. To teach her how to please me ... not just sexual, but in all aspects of her submission to me

6. To give her chores, punishments and rewards that will help her grow

7. To be always honest with her about myself, my emotions, my wants and needs as they apply to her ... in other words, to never be anything but honest and clear about her duties to me, and what I want/need from her are, even if...especially if...they change

That's all I can think of for the moment...

 

[Ms_Kat]

Have I always known I was domme? No, I didn't know what it meant until long after I had taken over my marriage. The only terms I knew that came close were "bitch" and "shrew". I considered myself a bitchy shrew with a conscience. After a few years, it didn't matter what I called myself, other than happy - finally.

My relationship is very stable now - at least as stable as it can be while one is still living. I am a Domme, a wife, and a mother. In all three, I take the lead. It isn't (always) a calculated type thing. I look over situations and make decisions quickly. Fortunately, I usually make good decisions.

I'll be the first to admit that my somewhat rare relationship with my husband very much colors my experience as a Domme. I see it as a partnership. Sometimes you hear someone refer to their "better half" but he is so much more than half of me, and I don't think I'm kidding myself that he would say the same thing. Our total is so much more than the sum of our parts that it seems silly to try and separate them.

What do I do? I lead, I control, I love, I open my heart and take him to a place where it is not only safe for him to do so, but where he cannot hold himself back from it. However, I must be quick to admit that I would not know of such a place had he not been with me for the trip.

Hugs,



Kat

 

[Mistress Tae]

Mmm...SweetDommes, you are deliciously cruel and I like that!

Netzach, I understand completely what you are saying. Right now because of life's circumstances I am not able to be with my sub/love, but I have found that there is still much to the D/s lifestyle that can be done from a distance. It challenges not only my mind, but my creativity.

Thank you again to all who have posted, I really appreciate your thoughts.

Mistress Tae

 

[WriterDom]

I've always been a sexual director in real life and in fantasy. Meaning that I wanted things to go the way I wanted, not in a selfish way, but very pleasure intensive. About this time of year, in 96, I pulled a nurse over my lap and spanked her just out of the blue. I hardly knew her. I guess she could have had me arrested, but she loved it. I loved it too, and started seeking out others, not even knowing what bdsm was. The first few chapters of the beauty series left me dizzy. The knowledge that you could have even more power in a relationship took hold.

I wish I could remember what linked me to finding bdsm on the web. I do remember inviting a cpa up from Florida. The weekend of the GA/FL football game. She was just starting to explore also and wanted to switch. She also had a few toys which I thought at the time was pretty cool. We agreed that every time our respective team scores, we would give each other a spank for every point. Luckily for me, that was the last year that GA would beat FL. I remember my brief switching effort. She sucked my cock, and pulled out letting the cum squirt all over her face, and then she told me to lick it off. I said "no" and that was the end of that. But she was happy in the sub role.