Dom/mes and Submissives, Do you ever want Straight Nilla Sex??

[Mr. Bootie]

Are there times that you just don't want controlled sex, Just down and dirty nilla sex. It doesn't have to be just sex. Erotic Nilla play. Where there is not the control issues. Just times of erotic pleasure.

 

[MissTaken]

There are always some control issues, even if it is simply emotionally. (Who's on top? Who initiates? )

However, the answer is "yes."
I still like a more traditional fucking on a regular basis.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have said it once, and I will say it again

In My world there is no such thing as vanilla sex.

There is only sex, and damn fine sex it is too.

My SO is vanilla, and he and I throw down.

Enuf said.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

You seductive evil tease you.

There are always some control issues, even if it is simply emotionally. (Who's on top? Who initiates? )

However, the answer is "yes."
I still like a more traditional fucking on a regular basis.

Miss T is asking for it isn't she? Knowing that I'm too far to fuck her on a regular basis.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Now I have found what I was searching for, vanilla anything is a thing of the past. Sex has a varying amount of control, sometimes more, sometimes less, but always it is there.

Catalina

 

[Mr. Bootie]

*laughs* But Ebony My Dear.

In My world there is no such thing as vanilla sex.

There is only sex, and damn fine sex it is too.

My SO is vanilla, and he and I throw down.

Enuf said.

Do you allow him to throw you down?? Bend you over, and just have his way with you?? Or do you have to control the action??


( Sorry Hon', I'm just too nosey to just let you say Enuf said. I like to know how things are in Dommeland. )

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: *laughs* But Ebony My Dear.

Do you allow him to throw you down?? Bend you over, and just have his way with you?? Or do you have to control the action??


( Sorry Hon', I'm just too nosey to just let you say Enuf said. I like to know how things are in Dommeland. )

He does whatever I want to have those orgasms. And the key words here are "whatever I want!"

And I give him what he wants and needs.



You gotta reward good service!

 

[MissTaken]

Now I have found what I was searching for, vanilla anything is a thing of the past. Sex has a varying amount of control, sometimes more, sometimes less, but always it is there.

Catalina

IMHO, there are some elements of control and power exchange in any sexual act, outside of masturbation.

Again, someone is on top, someone initiates, perhaps there are varying degrees of desire at that point in time, someone is being pleased or pleasing.

Does that make any sense?

Is there power exchange in "vanilla" sex?

 

[Mastersprincess]

IMHO, there are some elements of control and power exchange in any sexual act, outside of masturbation.

Ahhh.....

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I take what I want...and sometimes what I want is more gentle, more 'vanilla'...D/s is an attitude, not an activity.

 

[MissTaken]

I take what I want...and sometimes what I want is more gentle, more 'vanilla'...D/s is an attitude, not an activity.

Yep.

Exactly my original point.

 

[il mio angelo]

I was trying to think of how to word this. Though I absolutely love the thought of being tied up, whipped into that delcious trance of subspace, and then taken while still breathless, I also enjoy the thoughts of 'making love."

I have no desire to 'control' the sex, but initiating a night of slow, passionate and sensual love making does have it's appeal. For me, I would be his no matter what, and I don't feel that 100% dominating and controlled sex is needed to prove that. JMHO


Sometimes I just ache for that slow caress and soft kiss.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I take what I want...and sometimes what I want is more gentle, more 'vanilla'...D/s is an attitude, not an activity.

Struggling not to yell "AMEN, Brother!"

Even when feeling lazy while engaged in female superior astride, i'm "topping from the bottom", pun intended.

Oh yeah, i went there ... http://www.spacespider.net/emo/sign_danger.gif

 

[ownedsubgal]

i don't think it's physically possible for me to have vanilla sex. because i am a natural submissive, i am ALWAYS submissive sexually, whether i wish to be or not, so there are always those "power issues" as you say, even with the most vanilla white bread of men. i do what my partner wants me to do. i don't do anything unless i am certain that's what they want. my entire goal when i have sex is pleasing my partner as much as possible. all those factors make it impossible for me to have vanilla sex, because i am not a vanilla person.

 

[Desdemona]

I like it any way I can get it.

 

[SierraMoon]

i think it is between the two people involved. i don't think there is a right or wrong answer here. It depends on how the two feel.

i know for myself, i was finding something lacking during sex with my vanilla partners in the past. i think now, i would take it either way with my Sir. i think either way, it would be awesome with Him!!

 

[TwistaFate]

nilla sex....people still do that?

I don't know for eveyone else, but each person is different and it is up to you and your partner to decide wether this something you want to get into, it is kind of hard to go from what we all become acustom to to go back to the nilla world

 

[Croctden]

You can tell I'm being honest

Sometimes if I'm tired after a long day, I'll just talk a quick blow or roll.

I should note for me that BDSM sex can be entirely mental ("controlled sex") with no spankings (NO SPANKINGS!?! and that's fairly tender and romantic.

 

[ownedsubgal]

D/s sex can definitely be tender. bdsm is not always a part of our sex life, but because i am a sub and simply cannot help being a sub, and because my Master is a Dom and simply cannot help being a Dom, whenever we interact, in any way, sex included, it is ALWAYS D/s. whether he's beating me in between thrusts when we have intercourse or oral, or he's cradling me in his arms, stroking my hair, rocking gently into me...it's always D/s, there is always that imbalance of power. so for me, "nilla" sex doesn't exist and never has.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I second the emotion that D/s sex does not have to be rough and ready all the time, but is still not vanilla for us. Every stroke from Master, be it from the whip, his tongue, lips, or the softest touch of a fingertip, is from the basis of D/s through the mental and emotional connection of our relationship.

Catalina

 

[niteshade]

i am still new to this, so i dont have a lot to go by, but after several weeks of intense play, I do think it would be nice to go back to the way things were before, just for one night. To have it be more of a give and take than he lets it be usually. I am always in such a state of expection now... sometimes it is nice for the sex (lovemaking, whatever) to be.... relaxed.

 

[Missconduct]

i don't think it's physically possible for me to have vanilla sex. because i am a natural submissive, i am ALWAYS submissive sexually, whether i wish to be or not, so there are always those "power issues" as you say, even with the most vanilla white bread of men. i do what my partner wants me to do. i don't do anything unless i am certain that's what they want. my entire goal when i have sex is pleasing my partner as much as possible. all those factors make it impossible for me to have vanilla sex, because i am not a vanilla person.

See? I feel much this way too. In "vanilla" sexual experiences, my partners have always commented about how I just "give in" or lay back to be "done." Not that I'm an inactive participant by any stretch. I never really understood why they commented on this before. I have a much better understanding now.

But I am a natural follower and I don't think I've ever initiated sex. Even more, I don't enjoy making the first move or initiating. Not unles my partner is really, really responsive such that I can tell they are enjoying it. When I've had passive partners, the mood just fizzled for me.

xx,

 

[Missconduct]

I like it any way I can get it.

HEAR HEAR!!

 

[Justina123]

But I am a natural follower and I don't think I've ever initiated sex. Even more, I don't enjoy making the first move or initiating. Not unles my partner is really, really responsive such that I can tell they are enjoying it. When I've had passive partners, the mood just fizzled for me.

Even though I am a submissive, there are many times when I "initiate" sex.... whether by running my hands up and down his body as he is waking up and then beginning to rub his cock, or by kneeling naked in front of him when he is watching TV and asking (or just giving him what he calls the wide-eyed needy "look", ha), or by crawling to him with a small flogger in my mouth while he is on the computer.... etc. When I do these things, he will usually laugh and tease me and call me "his little slut", but most of the time we will continue from there, though on occasion the answer is "not now" for one reason or another.

-justina

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

D/s permeates our relationship. Sex, nilla or otherwise is just one of the basketful of activities that we do as part of that relationship. The emotion and headspace behind it are the important things here, and in our world, just like other activities, when it comes to nilla-style sex....i serve Him.

~anelize