Dom and sub Switches?

[priapiscean]

Are there any male Doms or Tops on this list that are also switches, and have played subs in hetero relationships with female subs?

If you are in a D/s relationship as a male Dom, do you find it takes away from the relationship if you switch roles with your sub? Do you play switch outside your relationship?

 

[Netzach]

Not a dude, but I think everyone would describe me as leaning heavily toward Dominant, and the one person I submit to now is someone I've been Domme to in the past and would again. It works for me, I know it would never work for others. It depends on your partner and you.

 

[wouldloveto]

I have enjoyed both roles, very much.

What I do not get is that some folks are creeped out by this.

 

[Bill3250]

Prefer submissive role, but

I was shown the pleasure of bondage by a woman did not play a dominant role. She lived it, and while I enjoying being her property, I really belonged to her, and I have the scar to show for it....the letter "I" brand on my left buttock. I can play (and have played) at being dominant, and thought I've enjoying doing so, I was merely acting to pleasure my lover.

 

[BBWcanBsexy2]

Definitly Yes

My hubby and I enjoy swtiching roles, we do infact usually switch ATLEAST ONCE every interlude...it keeps it interesting and unscripted!

 

[priapiscean]

Thank you for all the sexy and informative answers. *sigh* God I love kinky people.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Not a dude either, and not in any relationship at the moment, but I would bottom for a partner although I would probably prefer to Top her most of the time.

 

[Netzach]

My first serious GF and I would slap one another's face and whoever was more drifty and high from that would usually wind up on the bottom. (almost always her) Disorganization can be hot.

 

[DeservingBitch]

My first serious GF and I would slap one another's face and whoever was more drifty and high from that would usually wind up on the bottom. (almost always her) Disorganization can be hot.

OK, this is way better and hotter than flipping coin.

 

[Netzach]

OK, this is way better and hotter than flipping coin.

Totally.

Her idea

She taught me just about everything.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Totally.

Her idea

She taught me just about everything.

Thanks for passing the idea along. I am so going to have a faceslapping fest as soon as I find myself a girl!

 

[priapiscean]

Oh. My. Goodness *cocks brow*

The scenario Netzach describes is just "hit-the-gut" hot *drool*

Netzach, how often would you be the PYL vs. pyl in this slap out?

Not sure this scenario would work across gender lines (and I'll leave my conjecture at that ;-) )

 

[priapiscean]

Umm, sorry, Netzach has already answered that.

I think the sensualist in me stopped reading after reading about the two of you slapping it out for pyl status Momentary lack of focus, owing to possession of gonads, etc. etc.

Again, thanks for the snippet.

 

[Netzach]

Oh. My. Goodness *cocks brow*

The scenario Netzach describes is just "hit-the-gut" hot *drool*

Netzach, how often would you be the PYL vs. pyl in this slap out?

Not sure this scenario would work across gender lines (and I'll leave my conjecture at that ;-) )

I only wound up on the bottom once or twice that I remember, it usually didn't work out that way. Not 'cause I didn't enjoy being slapped, just that she enjoyed it more.


I don't see why it wouldn't work with the right people - I don't think every guy is going to get his dander up and deck harder and harder. I know that if I were to slap the guy I'm bottoming to, it would be MUCH more likely to flip him than anger him - it throws a switch in him hugely. It's amazing, this large man gets completely docile and looks down, and his pupils dilate instantly. Which is even funnier because he does MA and being hit there will throw him into alpha completely.

 

[SpectreT]

Hm.

It's more of a "Core Personality" thing with me.

I'll try to illustrate, but it's hard to do it in words, since this seems to take place in an area without words.

Imagine sliding scales. One for dominance, and one for submission. I have my basic levels in each of those sliders, call it about 50% (Not accurate, but workable for the purposes of this illustration).

Introduce another person. Their dominance slider's up around 85% or so, and their submissive slider is about 12%.

Through the magic of subconscious reading of the comparative sliders (assuming my kinkdar is fully engaged and reading accurately - not a safe assumtion), I'd end up feeling submissive, generally, around that person.

Try yet another person, whose sliders are at 8% and 88%, respectively. I'd start displaying dominant personality traits, again subconsciously responding to the difference between their slider set and mine.

and bear in mind, in my illustration, no one's sliders are absolutely fixed and immutable.

Now you've got a picture of the subconscious ebb and flow of my switchyness.

On other matters? The face-slapping is definitely hot. and it's a crapshoot as to whether it'd push my sub button, or arouse my competitive "inner warrior".

 

[approachinginsanity]

Hm.

It's more of a "Core Personality" thing with me.

I'll try to illustrate, but it's hard to do it in words, since this seems to take place in an area without words.

Imagine sliding scales. One for dominance, and one for submission. I have my basic levels in each of those sliders, call it about 50% (Not accurate, but workable for the purposes of this illustration).

Introduce another person. Their dominance slider's up around 85% or so, and their submissive slider is about 12%.

Through the magic of subconscious reading of the comparative sliders (assuming my kinkdar is fully engaged and reading accurately - not a safe assumtion), I'd end up feeling submissive, generally, around that person.

Try yet another person, whose sliders are at 8% and 88%, respectively. I'd start displaying dominant personality traits, again subconsciously responding to the difference between their slider set and mine.

and bear in mind, in my illustration, no one's sliders are absolutely fixed and immutable.

Now you've got a picture of the subconscious ebb and flow of my switchyness.

On other matters? The face-slapping is definitely hot. and it's a crapshoot as to whether it'd push my sub button, or arouse my competitive "inner warrior".

That look into your inner kinkdar was intriguing. that whole thing completely made sense to me but (keep in mind i'm just learning about all this and my opinion probably isn't worth squat) i would think that a person that is truly dom wouldn't be able to switch. as BILL3250 pointed out those who eat sleep and breath dominance are that way all the time so wouldn't any attempt by their partners to play dom be just another way of amusing the one thats really in control?
btw that really is a question i'd like answered cause i don't know

 

[Netzach]

That look into your inner kinkdar was intriguing. that whole thing completely made sense to me but (keep in mind i'm just learning about all this and my opinion probably isn't worth squat) i would think that a person that is truly dom wouldn't be able to switch. as BILL3250 pointed out those who eat sleep and breath dominance are that way all the time so wouldn't any attempt by their partners to play dom be just another way of amusing the one thats really in control?
btw that really is a question i'd like answered cause i don't know

The ratio of people who claim to eat breathe and sleep Dominance and be "unbendable" versus the ratio who ARE is probably 1000:1.
I've been in relationships with a handful of people who are "not remotely submissive" and the only one who really wasn't capable of letting go at all behind closed doors with me, once trusted, was identified as vanilla and anything but a hairy alpha male by day. Just really did NOT bend that way.

And now a whole bunch of people are going to disagree with me vehemently, some of whom I respect greatly. It's cool - whatever myth you need. That there are myriad uber alphas out there who are so naturally Dominant they can't submit (till they get pulled over by state patrol or something, hm?) and then people like me, who need the myth of "everyone more or less can" - the truth lies somewhere in the middle. How many kinsey 0's and 6's are there?

Answer: next to NONE. Fortunately you don't have to be a 0 to be straight or a 6 to be the biggest ol' butch Daddy lesbian that ever lived.

 

[Homburg]

I would personally imagine more 'pure' (if you can accept that term) submissives than 'pure' Dominants. Even my own "I would refuse to kneel before God Herself" attitude would probably bend to the proper, extremely trusted person.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm reading Rinella's Partners in Power right now, and he has a section whre he asserts there are actually far more "switches" than people who are willing to publicly admit it. He apparently prefers the term "versatile" to "switch", and puts forth that it's an ability that should be embraced by the kink community, as it creates many more possibilities for finding a suitable partner, as well as creating a stronger knowledge/experience based foundation.

(He also argues that the reason there is so much hesitation to ID as "switch" is because the terminology suggests indescision and instability, which aren't exactly confidence building for the person committing to play.)

 

[Homburg]

I can see that. I know from my end of things that there is a lot of internal pressure to man up, grunt, and bellow my dominance. Yet I am self-aware and honest enough to admit that I can concieve of bending to the proper person. I would not identify myself as a switch or "versatile" though because I've never met that person, and don't know that I will, nor can I say that I am looking for it. But I do recognise that it could certainly happen.

 

[Netzach]

I'm reading Rinella's Partners in Power right now, and he has a section whre he asserts there are actually far more "switches" than people who are willing to publicly admit it. He apparently prefers the term "versatile" to "switch", and puts forth that it's an ability that should be embraced by the kink community, as it creates many more possibilities for finding a suitable partner, as well as creating a stronger knowledge/experience based foundation.

(He also argues that the reason there is so much hesitation to ID as "switch" is because the terminology suggests indescision and instability, which aren't exactly confidence building for the person committing to play.)

Versatile is the buzzword in the gay scene for people who are open to taking or giving a hard dicking. Which is most people. Just as Top and Bottom have to do with fucking and really aren't suppsed to be en entire worldview, just how you like to fuck. It's amazing what language does when you move from community to community.

 

[Netzach]

I can see that. I know from my end of things that there is a lot of internal pressure to man up, grunt, and bellow my dominance. Yet I am self-aware and honest enough to admit that I can concieve of bending to the proper person. I would not identify myself as a switch or "versatile" though because I've never met that person, and don't know that I will, nor can I say that I am looking for it. But I do recognise that it could certainly happen.

We're probably similarly positioned. I did meet that person, but my life would be poorer were he not in it because he's him, not because I'd be missing this critical submissive experience.

 

[serijules]

Oddly enough, almost every person I've played with in the past or know now in the scene as close friends are switches. There is nothing complicated about it. I too am often baffled by how "taboo" it seems to be to a lot of people on this board, how often I hear the "I could NEVER top/bottom to a switch!"

My owner switches, but only with a few select people. I could safely compare her to Netz I think, in the switchy sense. Ma'ams other submissive is also a switch. She can be the most supportive, submissive "sister"....or mean as hell. Ma'am LOVES watching C be "mean" to people. She is a very very good top. She's no less submissive to Ma'am for it.

 

[Homburg]

We're probably similarly positioned. I did meet that person, but my life would be poorer were he not in it because he's him, not because I'd be missing this critical submissive experience.

I think that is what it would come down to - someone so amazing that I would want to be with them no matter what the circumstances were.