Do you do this 24/7?

[Blacklace87]

I didn't think I'd get many replies to this. Thank you all.

An update for those curious. I got back in touch with my old master...

I feel bad but talking to him has made me feel alive again. I wish it didn't. As soon as we started speaking, it was as if he knew me, I felt that power and god i've missed it.

There's been times i've wanted to speak to my partner but I chicken out each time, I hate that I have to talk to him about being more dominant with me, I feel like I shouldn't have to.

I've seen my masters silly side, we've chatted normally but I still know that power is there over me... It's like electricity running through me. We've been out to the cinema together almost like a date but I felt like I was going as his pet. This is my master, I am his and I liked that no one knew except us.

I'll stop going on about this now but I appreciate the replied. It appears some people have what i'm looking for

 

[SpunThings]

I didn't think I'd get many replies to this. Thank you all.

An update for those curious. I got back in touch with my old master...

I feel bad but talking to him has made me feel alive again. I wish it didn't. As soon as we started speaking, it was as if he knew me, I felt that power and god i've missed it.

There's been times i've wanted to speak to my partner but I chicken out each time, I hate that I have to talk to him about being more dominant with me, I feel like I shouldn't have to.

I've seen my masters silly side, we've chatted normally but I still know that power is there over me... It's like electricity running through me. We've been out to the cinema together almost like a date but I felt like I was going as his pet. This is my master, I am his and I liked that no one knew except us.

I'll stop going on about this now but I appreciate the replied. It appears some people have what i'm looking for

I've bolded the part I want to address. This is unfair to your partner. He's not a mind reader.

 

[MissJW]

This is a difficult one and the more I think of it the more my head spins.

We are husband and wife 24/7, which means our relationship is binding us 24/7. That relationship is based on love, friendship, companion and D/s. So in a way I could just cut it short and say yeah, we're D/s 24/7.

Then again of course as people we are 100% equal. We respect each other and want to be equally involved keeping our marriage happy. I don't "order him around" all the time and he for sure doesn't crawl at my feet. Sometimes I slap his butt but then again he slaps mine too, when we argue I don't go all "Silence I kill you" on him and he doesn't ask for a permission to speak his mind. Of course not! He gives me sponateous kisses and cuddles and so do I. We're very affectionate and loving, both outside the bedroom as well as inside.

BUT if and when things do heat up (in the good way) our D/s "roles" come alive immediately. It's in the details, I'm sure neither of us needs to think how we're "supposed to act". It just happens that the leading role lands on me and he follows, doing what I want him to do (not necessarily always telling him out loud, but through signals and mutual understanding). And then there's the fact that he doesn't cum without my permission, which sits deep in his behaviour. It's nothing we need to discuss either. And after all this I'm still tempted to say we live in D/s 24/7.

Perhaps D/s is just a frame of mind for us and it only gets physical when there's something sexual involved. I have no desire to boss around in our domestic life if I know there's things he understands/knows better than I do. And likewise from him. And of course there are kids, his and ours. We're a family and we raise them all together, but when it comes to something serious concerning his kids I of course step aside and let my husband and his ex take care of it. And when it's our kid that is concerned, me and my husband parent the child together. Quite simple really. And nothing to do with our sexual unequal dynamics.

The qualities that make D/s for us are the same qualities that are founded in our nature. Perhaps that's why it's always natural for us and neither needs any type of physical reminders (such as wrist grabbing or any other things we personally find silly). Sure we've got dark sense of humour and our love for D/s, BDSM, certain fetishes etc are often present in our mundane chitchat and jokes, but that's just normal. We interact and stuff we love are always present one way or another. Maybe even 24/7, I'd say!

 

[Blacklace87]

This is a difficult one and the more I think of it the more my head spins.

We are husband and wife 24/7, which means our relationship is binding us 24/7. That relationship is based on love, friendship, companion and D/s. So in a way I could just cut it short and say yeah, we're D/s 24/7.

Then again of course as people we are 100% equal. We respect each other and want to be equally involved keeping our marriage happy. I don't "order him around" all the time and he for sure doesn't crawl at my feet. Sometimes I slap his butt but then again he slaps mine too, when we argue I don't go all "Silence I kill you" on him and he doesn't ask for a permission to speak his mind. Of course not! He gives me sponateous kisses and cuddles and so do I. We're very affectionate and loving, both outside the bedroom as well as inside.

BUT if and when things do heat up (in the good way) our D/s "roles" come alive immediately. It's in the details, I'm sure neither of us needs to think how we're "supposed to act". It just happens that the leading role lands on me and he follows, doing what I want him to do (not necessarily always telling him out loud, but through signals and mutual understanding). And then there's the fact that he doesn't cum without my permission, which sits deep in his behaviour. It's nothing we need to discuss either. And after all this I'm still tempted to say we live in D/s 24/7.

Perhaps D/s is just a frame of mind for us and it only gets physical when there's something sexual involved. I have no desire to boss around in our domestic life if I know there's things he understands/knows better than I do. And likewise from him. And of course there are kids, his and ours. We're a family and we raise them all together, but when it comes to something serious concerning his kids I of course step aside and let my husband and his ex take care of it. And when it's our kid that is concerned, me and my husband parent the child together. Quite simple really. And nothing to do with our sexual unequal dynamics.

The qualities that make D/s for us are the same qualities that are founded in our nature. Perhaps that's why it's always natural for us and neither needs any type of physical reminders (such as wrist grabbing or any other things we personally find silly). Sure we've got dark sense of humour and our love for D/s, BDSM, certain fetishes etc are often present in our mundane chitchat and jokes, but that's just normal. We interact and stuff we love are always present one way or another. Maybe even 24/7, I'd say!

Thanks for this.

How did you meet? Did you start off D/s or did that develop?

 

[Blacklace87]

I've bolded the part I want to address. This is unfair to your partner. He's not a mind reader.

I know that. That's not my point. I know if I want things to change I need to talk to him about it but I don't like that I have to. What I mean by that is I wish we started off D/S, I hate that I have to go "Hey, can you be dominant with me please" I wish he already was, I wish we had that edge in our relationship

Like meeting my master we knew what it was straight away and then it developed from there. Getting back in touch, he already knows what I want. I don't have to sit down and go heyyyy, so...

The thought of doing that makes me cringe and then I know he's doing it for me (which if lovely) but I want him to already be like that ya know and having to ask is a mega turn off

 

[MissJW]

Thanks for this.

How did you meet? Did you start off D/s or did that develop?

We met through work. He works within music & culture and attended a festival where I was present as well. Me and him were both accompanied by people who knew each other, so when they hooked up to say hello we met as well. It was at a parking lot just outside the festival area. That was it really - from that first glimpse on I felt my life would be nothing if I couldn't continue it with him.

He had divorced from a long but nearly sexless (vanilla) marriage about a year earlier and I was single. I knew I was kinky (though unaware of the concept of D/s) but he was convinced sex wasn't for him. Sure he had these "odd preferences" and "weird urges" but he had always kept them to himself, quite understandable now when I know the type of sexual void he had been living in. I wasn't interested in one-night stands and he absolutely hated the thought of one, yet about six-seven hours onwards from that moment at the parking lot we were already in his hotel room getting rid of our clothes.

It took about four months into our dating until there were so many kinky elements in our sex that you just couldn't ignore them. After one especially steamy evening we started talking what's going on, ended up talking for ages, then started to read books and Google stuff up, confessing all our weirdest secrets and quirks and fucking even more. It was pure, wonderful madness. So I guess after about five, six months of dating we literally signed our first D/s contract and "officially started" the lifestyle, basically meaning being fully aware of all the safety policies, limits and such.

So I guess you could say we were incredibly lucky. And as I said earlier, all this is deeply in our nature. I'm quite sure that's why we were drawn to each other so badly and that's why we ditched our principles of no one-night stands in a heartbeat. It was at that parking lot where one met its other half!

 

[thelaughingcat]

We met through work. He works within music & culture and attended a festival where I was present as well. Me and him were both accompanied by people who knew each other, so when they hooked up to say hello we met as well. It was at a parking lot just outside the festival area. That was it really - from that first glimpse on I felt my life would be nothing if I couldn't continue it with him.

He had divorced from a long but nearly sexless (vanilla) marriage about a year earlier and I was single. I knew I was kinky (though unaware of the concept of D/s) but he was convinced sex wasn't for him. Sure he had these "odd preferences" and "weird urges" but he had always kept them to himself, quite understandable now when I know the type of sexual void he had been living in. I wasn't interested in one-night stands and he absolutely hated the thought of one, yet about six-seven hours onwards from that moment at the parking lot we were already in his hotel room getting rid of our clothes.

It took about four months into our dating until there were so many kinky elements in our sex that you just couldn't ignore them. After one especially steamy evening we started talking what's going on, ended up talking for ages, then started to read books and Google stuff up, confessing all our weirdest secrets and quirks and fucking even more. It was pure, wonderful madness. So I guess after about five, six months of dating we literally signed our first D/s contract and "officially started" the lifestyle, basically meaning being fully aware of all the safety policies, limits and such.

So I guess you could say we were incredibly lucky. And as I said earlier, all this is deeply in our nature. I'm quite sure that's why we were drawn to each other so badly and that's why we ditched our principles of no one-night stands in a heartbeat. It was at that parking lot where one met its other half!

Oh, oh, oh...that is just about the most beautiful thing I have read on the forum, thank you *smiles gently*

 

[thelaughingcat]

Sorry for the double post guys, just, the above deserved not to be sullied with my own ramblings

I can understand the seeming dichotomy of which you speak BlackLace; while you like the ordinary boyfriendiness...it's the frisson, the constant, tiny daily reminders that you are His. You can feel Him when He walks up behind you, even the space between you is a physical, material entity, pressing against your back as He moves closer. His small corrections, His requests-that-are-not-really-requests...they feed the craving within you to prove your desire to please Him. No matter where Y/you are, no matter who Y/you are with, you feel the undercurrent of His control over you like a snaking whip of electricity, through His glance, the pressure of His hand in the small of your back, the quiet, calm, controlled intensity of His voice when he speaks to you. And when He is in a playful mood, when He lets you tease Him, you laugh with Him, never forgetting that you are His all the while...

Anyone who has chatted with me on these forums will know that I don't capitalise when talking about my other half, despite the fact that I consider myself his in every way. He is silly and funny and sweet and makes me giggle nigh on constantly. He blows raspberries on my stomach after sex and tells me he wuffles me. He sits up playing video games with me for hours. It's like we're both perpetual teenagers and I bloody love it I nag him about not doing the dusting to par and roll my eyes when he forgets to put his half of the bills money in our joint account...again. But he can also trigger me any time, any place with a single word and enjoys hearing my pained cries as he holds me down...he has many sides *grins*

On the flip side I had the relationship that I describe above, and for almost three years on and off. I still crave it from time to time now, I will be perfectly honest about that, and when I start chatting to a guy who oozes that kind of aura from every pore, who seemingly gets inside my head without even trying, I have to cut all contact because I can't help but react to it...it is deeply, darkly, sinfully delicious, like strong, dark chocolate, just a hint of bitter. Have you tried eating an entire large bar of 90% dark chocolate though? For me at least, after a few squares, it's too much and I can't take any more.

Everyone is different though, and maybe what you need is to be dominated that way at all times. Just be careful what you wish for because I found that it can really start to get under your skin when the tap doesn't get switched off at any time!

 

[Blacklace87]

@Thelaughingcat

Thank you for your reply. I really liked the relationship you described and the be careful what you wish for did get me thinking...

Maybe it's the grass is always greener, I dunno right now. I'm very confused.

It's been a pattern my whole life. I end up dating amazing guys who really care about me and love me but after 2 years I get bored, I end up cheating or looking for new experiences they just won't give me and guess what, it's 2 years with my fella now and i'm in touch with my old master. Urhhh!

 

[SpunThings]

@Thelaughingcat

Thank you for your reply. I really liked the relationship you described and the be careful what you wish for did get me thinking...

Maybe it's the grass is always greener, I dunno right now. I'm very confused.

It's been a pattern my whole life. I end up dating amazing guys who really care about me and love me but after 2 years I get bored, I end up cheating or looking for new experiences they just won't give me and guess what, it's 2 years with my fella now and i'm in touch with my old master. Urhhh!

Maybe it's just a matter of expectations. Long term love isn't the same as new love. New love is exciting. That getting to know you period is fun and full of lots of attention on you. You can't expect long term love to feel like that, and I wonder if you do. Long term love is a bit more boring sometimes, but can be stable and secure, and if you're lucky more deep. While I love the getting to know you phase, having someone who is stable and secure that I know he'll always be there is more important to me. So I give up the exciting getting to know you stuff for long term monogamy. Not everyone wants that, and it's cool.

 

[Catyrenee]

I'm always the submissive and he is always my Master. We live normal everyday lives with those commitments and work but it is always there in the background.

 

[MissShelly]

I have been married to my daddy for 13 years, together for 14. We are new to the LS.

I could not imagine getting into this with someone I didn't already trust implicitly.

I wouldn't want him to be full on Master all the time. I like that we can be silly together. I like that he laughs and makes me laugh.

He's still my Daddy Dom though, and I take him seriously when he gives me an instruction or punishment.