Do Dominants

[Kajira Callista]

that like to inflict pain and humiliate do it because it hurts, or because they care about the person who needs it and understand that need?
Also would the Dominant get more of a thrill if the pyl didn't enjoy it?

 

[patrick1]

The other person always comes second. In my head.

For safety's sake, the other might come first. But not for pleasure's sake.



p

 

[NCShin]

I don't know if it's a who comes first or who comes second type of situation for me.

I think that i get the most pleasure out of watching how turned on she gets. So in that I think that she'd have to enjoy it for me to enjoy it.

I guess I also like the power trip of both. That she's putting herself in this situation because I told her to. She's enduring this pain because I want her to.

 

[WriterDom]

Some of both for the first question.

It's a thrill to hear her whisper "Yes Sir" each time she is struck. Play is fun.

I reserve the cane for punishment. If I feel it would be effective for a particular sub. And it is given swiftly without warm up. I wouldn't call it more thrilling.

I don't know you well enough to say how you'd be punished. Never with the cane though. I'd find something you hate to do. 90 minutes of exercise tapes perhaps?

 

[Kajira Callista]

The other person always comes second. In my head.

For safety's sake, the other might come first. But not for pleasure's sake.



p

so you enjoy it if the other person doesnt like it?

 

[Kajira Callista]

I don't know if it's a who comes first or who comes second type of situation for me.

I think that i get the most pleasure out of watching how turned on she gets. So in that I think that she'd have to enjoy it for me to enjoy it.

I guess I also like the power trip of both. That she's putting herself in this situation because I told her to. She's enduring this pain because I want her to.

What if she liked the pain, and it wasnt enduring anything for her but pleasure?

 

[Kajira Callista]

Some of both for the first question.

It's a thrill to hear her whisper "Yes Sir" each time she is struck. Play is fun.

I reserve the cane for punishment. If I feel it would be effective for a particular sub. And it is given swiftly without warm up. I wouldn't call it more thrilling.

I don't know you well enough to say how you'd be punished. Never with the cane though. I'd find something you hate to do. 90 minutes of exercise tapes perhaps?

lol shup WD. Pilates on cam every day for 2 weeks was punishment for me once for lying about doing pilates then feeling guilty and spilling my guts.

Anyway...inflicting pain is not fun for you if the bottom doesnt enjoy it?

 

[WriterDom]

Anyway...inflicting pain is not fun for you if the bottom doesnt enjoy it?

Depends on the play. Pussy torture is fun when she isn't enjoying it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Depends on the play. Pussy torture is fun when she isn't enjoying it.

hmmm what kinda torture, 'cause squriming and saying no doesnt always mean its a bad thing.

 

[Rugor]

I find there are two reasons for inflicting pain and/or humiliation. One is correction, and the other is for pleasure.

But, she has to enjoy the scene too. Now the actual pain and humiliation may not be that enjoyable, but I think they should be part of a whole that is.

Still I get more out of giving a spanking that I know excites the recipient.

:: edit ::

Two results are better than one. Pleasure and pain combined, twice the control. )

 

[Kajira Callista]

I find there are two reasons for inflicting pain and/or humiliation. One is correction, and the other is for pleasure.

But, she has to enjoy the scene too. Now the actual pain and humiliation may not be that enjoyable, but I think they should be part of a whole that is.

Still I get more out of giving a spanking that I know excites the recipient.

:: edit ::

Two results are better than one. Pleasure and pain combined, twice the control. )

and if what is considered pain is just pleasure to the other?

 

[WriterDom]

hmmm what kinda torture, 'cause squriming and saying no doesnt always mean its a bad thing.

Yeah, I was with one sub for 4 or 5 months, and the wettest I ever saw her was from clothes pin pussy lip play. She was squirming and saying no, but her pussy was saying yes.

 

[Netzach]

I like the act of inflicting, I like the process of SM. Strong reactions are a turnon for me, and in a lot of ways I prefer the massively aroused painslut to someone sniveling not to hurt them.

I get to do more of what I like. Physical SM is a need for me, seeing marks, reactions, blood, sweat, cum, whatever, without the headache of doing psychic battle and overcoming the person every freaking time.

I'm a Fetishistic Domme though, in that order. SM first and your ass will follow.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yeah, I was with one sub for 4 or 5 months, and the wettest I ever saw her was from clothes pin pussy lip play. She was squirming and saying no, but her pussy was saying yes.

was that a turn on or a turn off? You are good at avoiding direct answers arent ya lol

 

[Shadowsdream]

that like to inflict pain and humiliate do it because it hurts, or because they care about the person who needs it and understand that need?
Also would the Dominant get more of a thrill if the pyl didn't enjoy it?

Yes.

To all of the questions you pose KC.

There are many types of pain that serve many purposes. It is in the choice of the partner that I find My pleasure in their torment not simply the torment as a blanket act.

example...My girl would be destroyed by any form of humiliation. I have no interest in destroying her. Pain is new to her as she has come directly to Me from the vanilla world so I get little pleasure in letting loose with My full arsenal.

I train and nurture her slowly and with pride in her development and can do so in patience because I know that her training simply prepares her for the Master I will choose for her eventually.

One of My boys is so sweet that he is irrisistable but pain causes him fear. Humiliation is edgy for him yet he is devoted and serves without question. he serves some of My needs and I am content to take him only as far and as fast as his gentle nature allows.

One of My slaves simply cannot resist slavery. He does not enjoy pain and will obey anything to avoid it. I enjoy giving him pain whether he enjoys it or not for through that pain he experiences pride and growth in his endurance. Humiliation humbles him and so I enjoy humiliating him for My amusement as well. Different strokes for different folks but always what I derive pleasure from with the particular toy in question fullfills Me.

My primary slave brings Me pleasure by enduring without question. I get a great deal of pleasure inflicting pain and humiliation on him. Whether he enjoys it or not is of no interest to Me what interests Me is that he obeys without question. This slave is My magic.

Now how is that for a long ramble just to say it depends?

 

[NCShin]

What if she liked the pain, and it wasnt enduring anything for her but pleasure?

I'm not sure if she likes pain, or just enjoys the act of submitting to it. She isn't ready to admit to liking it yet, but all signs point to the fact that she does.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I like the act of inflicting, I like the process of SM. Strong reactions are a turnon for me, and in a lot of ways I prefer the massively aroused painslut to someone sniveling not to hurt them.

I get to do more of what I like. Physical SM is a need for me, seeing marks, reactions, blood, sweat, cum, whatever, without the headache of doing psychic battle and overcoming the person every freaking time.

I'm a Fetishistic Domme though, in that order. SM first and your ass will follow.

Thank you Netzach, you are the type of D that i have been around and understand. NO drama, no BS...the pleasure comes from a different place for a submissive with a person like you...and the pain being pleasure only makes it all the more fun.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Re: Re: Do Dominants

Yes.

To all of the questions you pose KC.

There are many types of pain that serve many purposes. It is in the choice of the partner that I find My pleasure in their torment not simply the torment as a blanket act.

example...My girl would be destroyed by any form of humiliation. I have no interest in destroying her. Pain is new to her as she has come directly to Me from the vanilla world so I get little pleasure in letting loose with My full arsenal.

I train and nurture her slowly and with pride in her development and can do so in patience because I know that her training simply prepares her for the Master I will choose for her eventually.

One of My boys is so sweet that he is irrisistable but pain causes him fear. Humiliation is edgy for him yet he is devoted and serves without question. he serves some of My needs and I am content to take him only as far and as fast as his gentle nature allows.

One of My slaves simply cannot resist slavery. He does not enjoy pain and will obey anything to avoid it. I enjoy giving him pain whether he enjoys it or not for through that pain he experiences pride and growth in his endurance. Humiliation humbles him and so I enjoy humiliating him for My amusement as well. Different strokes for different folks but always what I derive pleasure from with the particular toy in question fullfills Me.

My primary slave brings Me pleasure by enduring without question. I get a great deal of pleasure inflicting pain and humiliation on him. Whether he enjoys it or not is of no interest to Me what interests Me is that he obeys without question. This slave is My magic.

Now how is that for a long ramble just to say it depends?

Rambling or not, your answer was straight and honest and totally understood.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I'm not sure if she likes pain, or just enjoys the act of submitting to it. She isn't ready to admit to liking it yet, but all signs point to the fact that she does.

do you think she likes it only because it pleases you?

 

[Netzach]

Re: Re: Do Dominants

One of My boys is so sweet that he is irrisistable but pain causes him fear. Humiliation is edgy for him yet he is devoted and serves without question. he serves some of My needs and I am content to take him only as far and as fast as his gentle nature allows.

I just got a warm fuzzy. Switch pain and humiliation and you've desribed M to a T, it's a nice coincidence. Boys like that are very special.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Re: Re: Re: Do Dominants

I just got a warm fuzzy. Switch pain and humiliation and you've desribed M to a T, it's a nice coincidence. Boys like that are very special.

They are and unfortunately many fail to see where they fit into the lifestyle of the harder Dommes..which I am considered to be.

 

[Netzach]

Even hard Dommes and rabid Sadists really need some sugar and light at the end of the day, at least this one does.

It's part of what makes having/training/playing with many so delightful, you get your needs met somewhere.

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

Well, I've been analyzing this myself recently. For the most part, I agree completely with Shadowsdream and Netzach, but I must admit that, for me, it also comes down to a power trip.

Having the power and control over him that he endues the pain I give him is a trememdous turn-on for us both. Maybe it's a reflection of my own masochism. Needless to say, I keep a close eye on myself to make sure I'm not going too far.

Of course, true pain is saved for punishment, like a hard paddling, the cane or short canepole (more on this implement later). When I hurt him for my pleasure it's usually a spanking, the belt, a flogging, and so on. And what makes it fun for us both is that it depends on my whim - he never knows when it's coming. And I'm glad that he grits his teeth and endures it, instead of breaking down or snivelling.

As I've said before, I haven't played with many people. So I'd naturally vary this greatly for other subs. For example, there are plenty of punishments I use that involve no pain, such as the old-fashioned standing in the corner; these would work nicely with subs who can't or won't take pain. I'm not into humiliation myself, nor are any of my subs, but I could accomodate it (I have a little pretty recently, in fact) even though I don't particularly enjoy it.

So yes, as Shadowsdream said, it definitely depends. But part of the thrill in causing pain is the power I have over him.

Canepole: I have no idea what the botanical name is for these. We harvest them in autumn. They're too knotty to make good full-sized whipping canes (which would make them hurt a lot more - exactly why people used them to punish children in the old days), but you can easily find one about 18" long or so that isn't so knotty. Just sand them and apply stain and you have a nice short cane/stick implement.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Do Dominants that like to inflict pain and humiliate:

do it because it hurts

In my case, yes. It is, as pagan says, somewhat of a power trip/issue. It's also a pleasure for me to see the pain reflected in her eyes, and the transformation from just pain to pain/pleasure to sensation/pleasure to pleasure.

or because they care about the person who needs it and understand that need?

Again, yes. I might occasionally be willing to "play" with someone I liked, but didn't have a caring relationship with, but it couldn't/wouldn't be a frequent, ongoing thing. For that, I want and need a relationship, that I might know her better - her wants, needs, desires, and her reactions to what I'm doing, how she feels (or how she expresses those feelings, which may not be the same thing). Do I truly understand her need to be pyl and to experience those sensations? No, because *I* don't have those feelings and need those sensations. What *I* need is to have someone else around who does have those feelings and need those sensations, because they are necessary for me to be me.

Also would the Dominant get more of a thrill if the pyl didn't enjoy it?

No. While I do like to see the tears in her eyes, the pleading look just before the pain turns to sensation turns to pleasure, if she did not enjoy the end result, it would not be the SM that I love - it would be S... sadism without willing (or consensual) masochism is brutality.

All of the above is, of course, only my viewpoint, because I can only see through my own eyes, feel through my own heart, think my own thoughts. I am, however, willing to share my feelings and thoughts

 

[graceanne]

Re: Re: Do Dominants

No. While I do like to see the tears in her eyes, the pleading look just before the pain turns to sensation turns to pleasure, if she did not enjoy the end result, it would not be the SM that I love - it would be S... sadism without willing (or consensual) masochism is brutality.

Actually I personally think that's important. It's one of the reasons I was so late and reluctant to come into this. My best friend ended up in a relationship with a Sadist. No masocism (sp?)there, believe me. She didn't even know what he was until she was in so deep that she couldn't leave. He had her credit cards, her license, her keys, everything. And his particular thing he liked to do was tie her down and burn her with cigarettes, over and over on the same spot. She's got horrible scars. Lucky for her she got pregnant, and he kicked her out. Now this was no growing experience, this was not something she enjoyed in the slightest, this was full out abuse. I was a bit worried (I'm not anymore, since I've lurked around sites) that all dom/me's were like that and that the BDSM lifestyle was just an excuse for abuse. She's still recovering emotionally from that relationship and it's been about 2 years.
LOL On the other hand, their's no way in hell that I'm gonna tell her that me and Kenny are doing this.