Distance Domination-Support Thread

[ecstaticsub]

missy_me-- I second what Wenchie said. Also moving and getting a new job by itself are very stressful life changes. I am going through that right now. Try to be patient with yourself.

I wish I could be of more help. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of anxiety myself. So you are not alone.

For the most part I am just trying to take one day, and at times one hour at a time. I keep the faith that everythng will work out eventually.

Hugs to you!

 

[missy_me]

I know full well that my thought process is twisted, and not in a good way. Most of the time I can make myself take a step back and observe the situation from a bit more healthy point of view and not let the situation spiral out of control. Doing all that consciously just seems to be all too much work right now, but I'm sure things will be better once I get to spend a few days with J and get rid of all these crazy thoughts about him not really caring for me anymore.

I'm not sure why moving this time has proven to be such a difficult thing for me. I have moved many times in my life and this one shouldn't even be a hard one. I have already lived there, I know the language and the culture, I have friends there. I suppose I would have liked to stay where I am for a bit longer, but it's not worth the distance.

And another factor is the new job. Even though I know the local language well enough to get by, I'm a little bit worried about having to use it at work. But at least I will be doing what I've been educated for, even if the language isn't quite what I expected it to be.

Thanks for your kind and helpful words, wenchie and ecstaticsub. I just needed to blurt it all out of my system. I'll try to do as ES said, take it one day at a time. And I will definitely try to get more excited about all this. I already managed to find a new home for my TV today and it made the move feel so much more real.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

hey everyone! it's been forever, but i'm back or am back as much as i can be. i have a 16 year old daughter so fighting her for the computer isn't worth it really lol. but i miss being on here and chatting so figured i'd come back and say hey and see if there were still faces i recognize. hope everyone is doing well. i am still not in a D/s relationship.

but all is going really well with me. i miss everyone! i stopped posting because it was just awkward as i'm sure you can understand. i'm done rambling now lol

 

[the captians wench]

hey everyone! it's been forever, but i'm back or am back as much as i can be. i have a 16 year old daughter so fighting her for the computer isn't worth it really lol. but i miss being on here and chatting so figured i'd come back and say hey and see if there were still faces i recognize. hope everyone is doing well. i am still not in a D/s relationship.

but all is going really well with me. i miss everyone! i stopped posting because it was just awkward as i'm sure you can understand. i'm done rambling now lol

Glad to hear you are doing well hun.

 

[the captians wench]

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It's been a long time since I've done this, not since I first came back from visiting him. The way it happened was a rarity as well.

Yesterday was the last day of my vacation. And, per his command, my last day on a pass (he told me I could cum as much as I wanted while I was on vacation). I decided since I only had a few hours left of freedom, and I don't know when he'll let me again, I would work myself up until I fell asleep. And I did work up to a wonderful orgasm, but the waves of pleasure methodically blended into sobs, seamlessly like they were woven into cloth. I had an over whelming need for him. His touch, his kiss, his voice, his warmth, his sent, just him. I don't even remember falling asleep, and of course I didn't sleep well.

I'll have to tell him about these feelings sooner or later. I'm afraid if I keep them surpressed, and he decides it's best to wait for another time for a visit, I might just explode.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It's been a long time since I've done this, not since I first came back from visiting him. The way it happened was a rarity as well.

Yesterday was the last day of my vacation. And, per his command, my last day on a pass (he told me I could cum as much as I wanted while I was on vacation). I decided since I only had a few hours left of freedom, and I don't know when he'll let me again, I would work myself up until I fell asleep. And I did work up to a wonderful orgasm, but the waves of pleasure methodically blended into sobs, seamlessly like they were woven into cloth. I had an over whelming need for him. His touch, his kiss, his voice, his warmth, his sent, just him. I don't even remember falling asleep, and of course I didn't sleep well.

I'll have to tell him about these feelings sooner or later. I'm afraid if I keep them surpressed, and he decides it's best to wait for another time for a visit, I might just explode.

Huggles Wenchie, I feel for you. I wish I could find words of wisdom for you, but I think you are right, you need to tell him. I wish I could find words of comfort, I can only empathise with the feelings you had, the absolute and complete need. To shut your eyes and try and remember how it feels, how he feels, what he smells like, his lips on yours, the tenderness. The constant dull ache. It hurts but I never want it to go away, if it goes, its all gone.

Daddy and I seem to have turned a corner at the moment, although in the labryinth we call our lives, we may meet ourselves coming back the other way.

But its going well, we seem to be calmer, more assured, safer in each other. Long may it last.

 

[wicked woman]

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It's been a long time since I've done this, not since I first came back from visiting him. The way it happened was a rarity as well.

Yesterday was the last day of my vacation. And, per his command, my last day on a pass (he told me I could cum as much as I wanted while I was on vacation). I decided since I only had a few hours left of freedom, and I don't know when he'll let me again, I would work myself up until I fell asleep. And I did work up to a wonderful orgasm, but the waves of pleasure methodically blended into sobs, seamlessly like they were woven into cloth. I had an over whelming need for him. His touch, his kiss, his voice, his warmth, his sent, just him. I don't even remember falling asleep, and of course I didn't sleep well.

I'll have to tell him about these feelings sooner or later. I'm afraid if I keep them surpressed, and he decides it's best to wait for another time for a visit, I might just explode.

I understand...sometimes it just gets so bitter sweet, and the bitter outweighs the sweet just a bit too much. I've never found it lasts too long though, so I'll hope for the same for you.

 

[the captians wench]

Huggles Wenchie, I feel for you. I wish I could find words of wisdom for you, but I think you are right, you need to tell him. I wish I could find words of comfort, I can only empathise with the feelings you had, the absolute and complete need. To shut your eyes and try and remember how it feels, how he feels, what he smells like, his lips on yours, the tenderness. The constant dull ache. It hurts but I never want it to go away, if it goes, its all gone.

Daddy and I seem to have turned a corner at the moment, although in the labryinth we call our lives, we may meet ourselves coming back the other way.

But its going well, we seem to be calmer, more assured, safer in each other. Long may it last.

I understand...sometimes it just gets so bitter sweet, and the bitter outweighs the sweet just a bit too much. I've never found it lasts too long though, so I'll hope for the same for you.

Thank you both.

I can feel the strain on him aswell. All weekend he stayed up past 2am his time chatting with me. Infact he was up so late each night that I ended up falling asleep just after he left for bed. Last night I text him when I was curling into bed, just to say goodnight, and he ended up firing up his computer to chat with me for an hour before we both went to bed. He's working very hard to spend as much time as possible with me.

I love that he does this, even if I suspect that it's more for himself than it is for me. But it makes me feel guilty some times for wanting more. I try not to, I have every right to want more. But when he's trying so hard to both make me happy, and do what he feels is best, it's hard not to feel guilty over wanting him to lean more towards happiness than "the right thing".

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Had a bad crisis today and Sir is working hard and not yet available. A year ago i would have blown it big, assuming He didn't want to talk to me or help...and i would have been WRONG.

Today, i am patiently waiting until He and i can talk. The crisis had to do with my mother and some other issues of how she got treated...and i am proud of myself for being able to help.

i can see some progress in me because of what Sir has taught me, and i am proud of that.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

Missing Him is deffo the hardest part of the LDR for me, but when comes the time to meet, everything feels just right and I am happy again, truly happy. Some days its easier, some days its hard. I got days when I am all happy and then I got days when I am just down, cuz I miss Him so. The distance was getting under my skin bigtime lately. I was moody and frustrated and peevish and grumpy and lonely and and and ... it just SUCKED. I miss Him. Miss Him real bad.

I find myself in a very state of mind lately. I am teary and very emotional and all I can think of is just being in His arms again. I don't feel even sexual, just wanna be in His arms. Need to be in His arms. If that makes any sense. Then somehow, everything will be alright again. "I" will be alright I mean. I always am when we are together.

All this waiting and missing and crying myself to sleep cuz I miss Him so bad it hurts, I know it all very well, too. Hate when I get this emotional. I think of Him touching my skin and I cry. I orgasm and I cry. I hear our song in the radio and I cry. I read our old chats and texts and I cry. He gonna arive here this saturday and I will mostlikely cry as well, as I am now. Every time I get like this I am so afraid I will fuck it up all. And I can't event think of the day when he will go back to England. Something tells me this time it will be really hard to watch Him go.

I had a dream about me and A. the other day. I asked Him to stay here with me in that dream. Woke up crying like a wee child. I am so pathetic sometimes.

But for now I don't wanna think about this. Now I just wanna be happy and enjoy His visit and have a great time with man I love and make some more beautiful memories and just be happy. For the 5 sweet days we get together, be happy.

Will deal with the hard part, which is let Him go back to England, later.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Had a bad crisis today and Sir is working hard and not yet available. A year ago i would have blown it big, assuming He didn't want to talk to me or help...and i would have been WRONG.

Today, i am patiently waiting until He and i can talk. The crisis had to do with my mother and some other issues of how she got treated...and i am proud of myself for being able to help.

i can see some progress in me because of what Sir has taught me, and i am proud of that.

Patience is a virtue I am slowly learning too.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Missing Him is deffo the hardest part of the LDR for me, but when comes the time to meet, everything feels just right and I am happy again, truly happy. Some days its easier, some days its hard. I got days when I am all happy and then I got days when I am just down, cuz I miss Him so. The distance was getting under my skin bigtime lately. I was moody and frustrated and peevish and grumpy and lonely and and and ... it just SUCKED. I miss Him. Miss Him real bad.

I find myself in a very state of mind lately. I am teary and very emotional and all I can think of is just being in His arms again. I don't feel even sexual, just wanna be in His arms. Need to be in His arms. If that makes any sense. Then somehow, everything will be alright again. "I" will be alright I mean. I always am when we are together.

All this waiting and missing and crying myself to sleep cuz I miss Him so bad it hurts, I know it all very well, too. Hate when I get this emotional. I think of Him touching my skin and I cry. I orgasm and I cry. I hear our song in the radio and I cry. I read our old chats and texts and I cry. He gonna arive here this saturday and I will mostlikely cry as well, as I am now. Every time I get like this I am so afraid I will fuck it up all. And I can't event think of the day when he will go back to England. Something tells me this time it will be really hard to watch Him go.

I had a dream about me and A. the other day. I asked Him to stay here with me in that dream. Woke up crying like a wee child. I am so pathetic sometimes.

But for now I don't wanna think about this. Now I just wanna be happy and enjoy His visit and have a great time with man I love and make some more beautiful memories and just be happy. For the 5 sweet days we get together, be happy.

Will deal with the hard part, which is let Him go back to England, later.

I'm excited for you both getting to be together soon! Separation is very difficult, but when you are not together try to stay focused on your kids and making day to day life the best you can for them and yourself.

Enjoy the 5 days you will have and don't even think about when he is going to go back.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Well Daddy and I are still singing from the same hymn sheet It seems I had a glitch in my life that I would not see as a glitch till it was gone. Its not completely gone but the borders are a different shape now and it fits in so much better. It wasn't until I came to terms with it that I finally properly realised how much he means to me, my heart and soul, I am so deeply in love with him that I never realised it was possible. The wonderful thing about it is that he feels exactly the same. The only downside is that we are both in situations we cannot simply walk away from to be with one another, so the LDR continues but it continues with both of us safe in the knowledge that we are unbreakable.

Next week is going to be a bit of a test for both, I am away for a week, being a family type person and out of contact. I will have that to keep me occupied, but Daddy has only missing me. I am already missing him and we don't go till Saturday. Its causing me a lot of heartache, hell I haven't even packed yet and usually I am ready a week before we go. All the things of his I want to take and know I can't because they will stand out a mile so I am going to have to leave them at home. I have my chain down my back, every time it taps me on the bum it will remind me of him but you can't cuddle a chain . I never want the pain of missing him to leave me, as I said before, if it does then we are done. But occasionally I wish IT would take a holiday.

 

[the captians wench]

I figured out that if I can make an extra $500 each month over the next 4 months on ebay then I'd be able to fully support my trip to Ireland with out any help at all. This means even if he has ecconomic issues I could spend the full two weeks there, he can work, and I would not have to rely on him to share the costs of my trip.

So far I'm up to a good start. I just sold a bunch of toddlers costumes this week, and I made just over my weekly target! I also got a few custom orders and lots of inqueries. Looks very positive. I think I'm going to focas on working up a lot of little things rather than a few big pieces. So this is my goal.

 

[Homburg]

I figured out that if I can make an extra $500 each month over the next 4 months on ebay then I'd be able to fully support my trip to Ireland with out any help at all. This means even if he has ecconomic issues I could spend the full two weeks there, he can work, and I would not have to rely on him to share the costs of my trip.

So far I'm up to a good start. I just sold a bunch of toddlers costumes this week, and I made just over my weekly target! I also got a few custom orders and lots of inqueries. Looks very positive. I think I'm going to focas on working up a lot of little things rather than a few big pieces. So this is my goal.

Awesome to see this sort of goal-setting and forethought. Good on ya!

 

[the captians wench]

Awesome to see this sort of goal-setting and forethought. Good on ya!

Thanks. I'm just trying to do everything I can in order to spend as much time with him as possible.

The great thing about toddler's costumes is that they take next to no material to make, so I can use up the scraps from the larger pieces that I do. They also are less involved sewing wize so work up quickly.

I also just downloaded a program to help speed up the process of posting.

Kilts do very well also, but they are more time consuming and take more in matieral so trim my proffit margin down. At the moment I'm looking to use up the material that I have stocked up. Unfortunitly I don't have any more plaid stored up, so kilts are out for a while. Well except for kiddy kilts, I do have enough for a few of those.

 

[the captians wench]

I had a dream last night that made me smile all day.

It was very elaborate, infact I woke up mid way and seemed to come back to it.

I dreamed that I was with him again. The feel was of another visit. Nothing in particular stuck out, it was more everydayish than the touristy trip of my first one. Lunch with his folks was even included.

I know that this is just my mind playing out a combination of both the past and what I imagine a future trip will be like, but it made me feel so close to him. I woke up feeling as if I really had been there, like I was returning rather than just waking up.

I think I needed that.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Wenchie, glad to hear that your mind is helping give you what you need. It's hard enough to be in an LDR in the same country, let alone across the pond. i don't have a clue how you do it. You are a good example.

i am a very moody person...and some circumstances are occuring beyond my countrol, and here in my head i am the perfect drama queen. i wish i could sail through life like a swan, and i can't seem to learn the lessons.

Sometimes, you just need cuddling, and you don't need to hear how your friend got hers.

 

[myinnerslut]

i want to go back home. feel like my move was a teaser. wonderful and amazing and scary and emotional and eventful, but all too short before it was back to NY for the surgery.

now i am counting down until the 21st when i can go back home

 

[the captians wench]

Wenchie, glad to hear that your mind is helping give you what you need. It's hard enough to be in an LDR in the same country, let alone across the pond. i don't have a clue how you do it. You are a good example.

i am a very moody person...and some circumstances are occuring beyond my countrol, and here in my head i am the perfect drama queen. i wish i could sail through life like a swan, and i can't seem to learn the lessons.

Sometimes, you just need cuddling, and you don't need to hear how your friend got hers.

Thanks, it's really amazing what one can accomplish with one's mind.

I sent the vontage box out tuesday, and he got it yesterday which is just incredibly fast! He got it all set up thismorning and we had our first chat over that. It's going to make things so much easier. Neither one of us will have to worry any longer about how much money we're spending in phone calls, or having the conversation end abruptly in the middle of it because my phone card died. I am so jazzed about this.

It really is amazing the little things that people take forgranted. Like just being ablle to call some one.

i want to go back home. feel like my move was a teaser. wonderful and amazing and scary and emotional and eventful, but all too short before it was back to NY for the surgery.

now i am counting down until the 21st when i can go back home

Surgry is never fun, and neither is being away from home. But if you rush things then it's very likely that your next stay at home will be interupted as well. Try to take it easy, and remember that your health is most important. And just think of it this way, the more time you spend geting healthy, the less amount of time you will have to spend away from home in the future.

 

[the captians wench]

I know I said this last night, but i am seriously loving this vontage!

I sent him a text this morning while I was at work. He sent one back a bit later, but I wasn't able to respond right away. Normally I work nights on sunday, but with this other manager out, I've been working mornings. He knows I'm scheduled to close on sunday nights until the end of time, so when I didn't respond right away, he rang me. How cool is that! He can just pick up the phone and ring me when ever he wants now!

Of course I wasn't able to answer because I was working and we were crazy busy, but he left a voice mail. So now, when I am missing him terrible, and our schedules aren't cooperating, I can still hear his voice.

This is seriously like christmas morning. I am so excited about this. It's like just one more step to bringing us closer to "a normal" relationship.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

Well that was not an easy week

Family holidays.......who the hell thought it was wind down time? Never been so bloody busy in my life. Daddy and I have only been able to speak twice for about 30 seconds each time. No sodding network meant texts were sporadic to say the least.

Thank god I am home Daddy and I will get phone and PC time together for the first time in a week. I have missed him SOOOOOOOOOO much.

 

[Sexualinnocent]

Help me. i don't know where to turn.


Sir has told me that because i have put the craziness of my rl ahead of Him, i have broken the Tenant of Obedience. i am in tears here. i don't know how to please Him anymore and i am so ready to give up and just die.

Goodbye everyone.

 

[Homburg]

Help me. i don't know where to turn.


Sir has told me that because i have put the craziness of my rl ahead of Him, i have broken the Tenant of Obedience. i am in tears here. i don't know how to please Him anymore and i am so ready to give up and just die.

Goodbye everyone.

.....

Whether you are around to read this or not, it's useful info for anyone involved in this sort of relationship. Or any sort of relationship, for that matter.

If someone asks you to put them and their wants before the stuff that you do to pay your bills and moderate your actual life needs, they are probably going a bit far (M/s notwithstanding). You have to work. You have to deal with family. You have to deal with the plumber, the electrician, etc.

Reality > fantasy

Some people have trouble accepting that.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I absolutely agree with Homberg. What Sir is doing is unfair.

ANY relationship outside of 'normal home life' has to be met with a degree of flexibility simply to enable you to for want of a better way of putting it, lead two lives. I know there are lots out there that are doing it, me included and Daddy has NEVER made demands on me that he knows will interfere with all that surrounds me here, likewise I don't make those demands on him.

I think you need to talk and I hopefully reach some kind of understanding and agreement although again as Homberg quite rightly points out, some people have trouble accepting that fantasy ideal does not equal real life sometimes.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} I hope it all works out the way it should.