Distance Domination-Support Thread

[the captians wench]

Does anyones else do this?

I don't think it's just a distance thing, I kinda think it's just a me thing but anyway here goes.

I have a tendancy sometimes to believe that Jounar will eventually get bored with me. Not even just him really, I keep waiting for my closest friends to do the same. Jounar and I have been together longer than any other relationship I've had now. Longer than I was married (well, married and living together). My husband, well, I'm not sure if he just stopped finding me attractive or if he just wanted something new, but I felt very much like he was just bored with me.

I don't tend to keep friends long either. Most of the friends I had when I got married, dissapeared shortly after, and the ones I had when I went through my seperation I haven't heard from in 2 years. Six months to a year is usually the longest I keep friends, close ones anyway. After that period I feel like I'm the one always seeking them out and eventually I stop trying.

Maybe it's just an age thing. I feel like I'm being silly for even bringing it up, but then I see examples in other people. I've seen other relationships where it just seems like one partner just gets bored with the other. Then the fear becomes a little more real.

Don't worry, this hasn't been triggered by anything other than a hormone surge. It's totally irrational and most likely just a passing thing, but I had to put it out there so that I don't stew on it.

I prolly should have put this in my ramble thread.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Wenchie--I don't, but ramble anyway. Rambling in writing somehow makes me feel better.

 

[the captians wench]

Thanks es.

I'm done with the hormonal irrational fears...for the moment. (I know because my boobs aren't as tender )

And while we're on boobs, I believe I promised some pics.

The second one is part of a seriese I did while driving home from Kansas and sent to Jounar as we crossed each state boarder.

 

[ultramarineblue]

Wenchie, I tend to feel that way as well. I've been trying to figure out why I wonder why I feel like things won't last so I can work on the reason. Some of your words felt as though I could have written them.

I had a conversation with a really close friend about the longevity of relationships and marriage. I don't know very many people who have been in a long-lasting good relationship or marriage. I know that things aren't always going to be great but even in hard times the relationship could be good.

I think questioning whether or not you are good enough for the other person (that's how I usually put it) is pretty wearing on both people. However, not saying it doesn't make that feeling go away. I think perhaps the only way to make it go away is to find the cause and work on that.

 

[the captians wench]

Wenchie, I tend to feel that way as well. I've been trying to figure out why I wonder why I feel like things won't last so I can work on the reason. Some of your words felt as though I could have written them.

I had a conversation with a really close friend about the longevity of relationships and marriage. I don't know very many people who have been in a long-lasting good relationship or marriage. I know that things aren't always going to be great but even in hard times the relationship could be good.

I think questioning whether or not you are good enough for the other person (that's how I usually put it) is pretty wearing on both people. However, not saying it doesn't make that feeling go away. I think perhaps the only way to make it go away is to find the cause and work on that.

I'm fairly certain that, for me, the cause of these questions goes back to unresolved issues in past relationships. Namely the people who just dissapeared on me. That ties into the abandonment issues that I have that goes back to my parent's devorce when I was 5. They resurface everytime another friend dissapears for an extended period, or when I don't get a lot of time with Jounar. In this case I believe it's the first, you would think I'd be used to this person phazing in and out of my life by now.

I did talk to Jounar a bit about it the other night. I think it threw him off gaurd, like I said there really wasn't any trigger that I recognized, at least not from him. But I think he understood it was just something I had to let go of.

I'm feeling much better today. I started putting a package together for him, including the vontage box so we'll be able to talk a whole lot more, and stuff from my trip to Kansas. I always feel better when I send him stuff.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I'm fairly certain that, for me, the cause of these questions goes back to unresolved issues in past relationships. Namely the people who just dissapeared on me. That ties into the abandonment issues that I have that goes back to my parent's devorce when I was 5. They resurface everytime another friend dissapears for an extended period, or when I don't get a lot of time with Jounar. In this case I believe it's the first, you would think I'd be used to this person phazing in and out of my life by now.

I did talk to Jounar a bit about it the other night. I think it threw him off gaurd, like I said there really wasn't any trigger that I recognized, at least not from him. But I think he understood it was just something I had to let go of.

I'm feeling much better today. I started putting a package together for him, including the vontage box so we'll be able to talk a whole lot more, and stuff from my trip to Kansas. I always feel better when I send him stuff.

I'm glad you're feeling better. I've always enjoyed making care packages too. The more thoughtful the package is, the better it is.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Thanks es.

I'm done with the hormonal irrational fears...for the moment. (I know because my boobs aren't as tender )

And while we're on boobs, I believe I promised some pics.

The second one is part of a seriese I did while driving home from Kansas and sent to Jounar as we crossed each state boarder.

Great pictures! I absolutely love taking pictures (naked and otherwise) for Daddy. It makes me feel closer to him.

 

[the captians wench]

Great pictures! I absolutely love taking pictures (naked and otherwise) for Daddy. It makes me feel closer to him.

I really enjoy that too.

While I was visiting my brother I took pictures of everything and sent them to him. It kind of made me feel like he was on the trip with me.

I've been doing daily pictures for him, at his request. It's really helped us feel closer lately.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I really enjoy that too.

While I was visiting my brother I took pictures of everything and sent them to him. It kind of made me feel like he was on the trip with me.

I've been doing daily pictures for him, at his request. It's really helped us feel closer lately.

Does he do pictures for you? My Daddy rarely does. However, he does send me pictures of his family events (weddings, reunions etc) which i cherish so much. It it a glimpse into his other life and a glimpse into what makes him the man I love.

 

[the captians wench]

Does he do pictures for you? My Daddy rarely does. However, he does send me pictures of his family events (weddings, reunions etc) which i cherish so much. It it a glimpse into his other life and a glimpse into what makes him the man I love.

*giggles* Yes he does, but very rarely. He doesn't like pictures of himself.

The last time he surprized me with a pic is when he got his new phone. He knows that I love pictures of him and I don't have many face shots. When he got this new phone, as a way to test the camara on it, he took a pic of himself for me.

I've seen his home now. His city. His work. Just his life really, in person. He hasn't had that same ability, so I like showing him little snips of my life. I know he enjoys it as well. And while I was visiting my brother I was so amazed by some of the buildings and such (some of the buildings on base date back to the original fort built durring the civil war!), I just wanted to share the moment with him, any way I could.

We've been texting a lot more lately as well, which is kind of costly for both of us. He texts me every morning at 10am his time (that's 5am where I'm at). He asks me what I'm doing that day and wishes me a good morning. In one of those texts he asked for pictures of the mall where my sister in law was taking us. He's heard that we have huge malls like he's never seen. Of corse Manhatten Kansas did not have nearly as large a mall as even my home town, but was at least twice what he has there.

These little snips into each other's lives kind of finishes the puzzle.

 

[ecstaticsub]

One of the hardest parts of an LDR is the inability to just have nothing time together. Yesterday, for maybe the third time in the past 6 months or so Daddy fell asleep while I was talking to him. He was in his bed and I was in mine and we were just chatting about nothing. Next thing I know I hear his sleep breathing. So I listened for a while, masturbated to a quiet orgasm and then hung up when I heard my husband come home. The hang up must have woken him up because he called back a minute or two later.

Later when we talked about it he apologized and I told him I really didn't mind. Life has been so insane for both of us I understand being tired. i also take it as a compliment that he felt so comfortable in bed talking to me that he just drifted off to sleep.

We needed that quietness. We both have been so irritable and on edge lately. What we really need is a visit. Not sure when that will happen though. I am hopeful that I can arrange a quick impromptu visit sometime before July. It will most likely be another where he won't be able to spend the whole time with me, but our relationship needs it.

Maybe more correctly I need it. Sometimes I find it so frustrating that I seem to need him more than he needs me. I am in such an annoyingly needy mood right now. The worst part is I am in a point of my life that I have even less time and energy to give attention but I need to get attention. All kinds of attention but mostly that reassuring pat on the back type, you are beautiful, sexy and desirable type of attention.

He has told me in the past that when I get like that I need to tell him. But how do you tell someone, especially a Dominant to please tell you that he desires you? It just...well, seems inappropriate, childish, vain and oh so unsubmissive-ish.

I feel like I am in this I want, I need, give me type of mood that is really not acceptable.

Oh well, sorry for the ramblings. This seems like really the only place I can let these thoughts out without some sort of confrontation which my head really can't deal with right now.

Thanks

 

[ecstaticsub]

hmmmm....debating here...

Daddy never comes to Lit. Do I send him a copy of my last post so he knows what is going on in my head or will he just take it as whining? Would it just add to his stress? Or do I do what being a military spouse has taught me over the last 20 years and just suck it up and deal withit and don't burden others with your own issues? ....

Did I already say how I hate being so needy?

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Does anyones else do this?
<snip>

My slave does the same thing. she thinks I will one day get bored with her and want to leave her or find someone else.

I will NEVER get bored with her. And I do not mind reminding her of that when she asks.

Maybe more correctly I need it. Sometimes I find it so frustrating that I seem to need him more than he needs me.

I think this is mostly due to being a Dom and being a guy. The guy in us does not want to show emotions or neediness and the Dom in us doesn't want to show us not in control of our own emotions.

Trust me, he feels the same way you do. He's just not going to show it as easily as you can.

He has told me in the past that when I get like that I need to tell him. But how do you tell someone, especially a Dominant to please tell you that he desires you? It just...well, seems inappropriate, childish, vain and oh so unsubmissive-ish.

But if he has told you to tell him when you get like this, then by not telling him, isn't that being even more unsubmissive?

You should just tell him. It will make you feel better. And it will help the relationship.

Plus, for me, there is a feeling of power when My slave comes to me and begs me to tell her how much I want/need/desire her. Something about that openness and vulnerability in her at that moment is very....I don't know the word. But I like it.

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

hmmmm....debating here...

Daddy never comes to Lit. Do I send him a copy of my last post so he knows what is going on in my head or will he just take it as whining? Would it just add to his stress? Or do I do what being a military spouse has taught me over the last 20 years and just suck it up and deal withit and don't burden others with your own issues? ....

Did I already say how I hate being so needy?

As has been said many times before in this thread and I believe is the #1 answer to most questions:

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

 

[CurlyKat]

Does anyones else do this?

I don't think it's just a distance thing, I kinda think it's just a me thing but anyway here goes.

I have a tendancy sometimes to believe that Jounar will eventually get bored with me. Not even just him really, I keep waiting for my closest friends to do the same. Jounar and I have been together longer than any other relationship I've had now. Longer than I was married (well, married and living together). My husband, well, I'm not sure if he just stopped finding me attractive or if he just wanted something new, but I felt very much like he was just bored with me.

I don't tend to keep friends long either. Most of the friends I had when I got married, dissapeared shortly after, and the ones I had when I went through my seperation I haven't heard from in 2 years. Six months to a year is usually the longest I keep friends, close ones anyway. After that period I feel like I'm the one always seeking them out and eventually I stop trying.

Maybe it's just an age thing. I feel like I'm being silly for even bringing it up, but then I see examples in other people. I've seen other relationships where it just seems like one partner just gets bored with the other. Then the fear becomes a little more real.

Don't worry, this hasn't been triggered by anything other than a hormone surge. It's totally irrational and most likely just a passing thing, but I had to put it out there so that I don't stew on it.

I prolly should have put this in my ramble thread.

I'm not sure how I didn't see this earlier, but thank you for saying this so perfectly! This has been a HUGE struggle with me lately. Because of how I grew up, I'm used to processing friends and relationships in and out quickly, and when I'm in one place long enough to keep some of those going I worry about the other person getting tired of me and just generally not knowing how to deal with it all appropriately. In fact, I had this same conversation with a good friend (whom I'm still terrified is going to slowly start pulling back away and leaving me because of big changes in his life) last night, only I didn't say it nearly as eloquently because I was embarrassed about it and didn't really want to tell him about it to begin with.

So yeah, that's him, and even though he says he's not going to leave, I can't help but worry about it. The same goes for the rest of my friends and all right now, too.

Hello, my name is Kat, and I'm joining the paranoid fear of abandonment girl club.

 

[ecstaticsub]

As has been said many times before in this thread and I believe is the #1 answer to most questions:

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Yeah..usually I agree. But I don't ever want to be a burden to him. I don't want him to take my whining as a criticism of him. I should be satisfied with what attention he gives me.

 

[DiscusDave]

Yeah..usually I agree. But I don't ever want to be a burden to him. I don't want him to take my whining as a criticism of him. I should be satisfied with what attention he gives me.

But just as he could take it as a criticism (which in my eyes everyone needs from time to time, regardless of their station in life).. he could just as easily take it as a message about just how important his attention to you is. Which is a good thing.

 

[wicked woman]

Beaming here....about how much we've been able to chat and talk this week. It's been such a treat.

 

[the captians wench]

One of the hardest parts of an LDR is the inability to just have nothing time together. Yesterday, for maybe the third time in the past 6 months or so Daddy fell asleep while I was talking to him. He was in his bed and I was in mine and we were just chatting about nothing. Next thing I know I hear his sleep breathing. So I listened for a while, masturbated to a quiet orgasm and then hung up when I heard my husband come home. The hang up must have woken him up because he called back a minute or two later.

Later when we talked about it he apologized and I told him I really didn't mind. Life has been so insane for both of us I understand being tired. i also take it as a compliment that he felt so comfortable in bed talking to me that he just drifted off to sleep.

We needed that quietness. We both have been so irritable and on edge lately. What we really need is a visit. Not sure when that will happen though. I am hopeful that I can arrange a quick impromptu visit sometime before July. It will most likely be another where he won't be able to spend the whole time with me, but our relationship needs it.

Maybe more correctly I need it. Sometimes I find it so frustrating that I seem to need him more than he needs me. I am in such an annoyingly needy mood right now. The worst part is I am in a point of my life that I have even less time and energy to give attention but I need to get attention. All kinds of attention but mostly that reassuring pat on the back type, you are beautiful, sexy and desirable type of attention.

He has told me in the past that when I get like that I need to tell him. But how do you tell someone, especially a Dominant to please tell you that he desires you? It just...well, seems inappropriate, childish, vain and oh so unsubmissive-ish.

I feel like I am in this I want, I need, give me type of mood that is really not acceptable.

Oh well, sorry for the ramblings. This seems like really the only place I can let these thoughts out without some sort of confrontation which my head really can't deal with right now.

Thanks

I can relate, especially at this moment when I've just missed one visit due mostly to financial issues, and if the economy doesn't pick up at least a little, I could be looking at missing another.

I'm already preparing for a fight that might not even happen. I need this trip in October, often I feel like I need it more than he does. I know that's not true, I know he wants me there as much as I want to be there, but he doesn't show it in the same way. It is there tho. It's there in the sudden pattern of morning texts I have been recieving like clock work for the past couple months.

I also have issues with telling him and how to tell him when I'm feeling needy. I feel guilty about feeling so needy. I feel guilty about wanting to convince him that his decition is wrong. How unsubish is telling your owner he's wrong, eh? I also feel guilty about hoping that he'll give in because I know that wouldn't be good for either of us. I feel guilty for presuring him because it's adding to his stress, and the last thing I want to do is be a burden to him.

My slave does the same thing. she thinks I will one day get bored with her and want to leave her or find someone else.

I will NEVER get bored with her. And I do not mind reminding her of that when she asks.



I think this is mostly due to being a Dom and being a guy. The guy in us does not want to show emotions or neediness and the Dom in us doesn't want to show us not in control of our own emotions.

Trust me, he feels the same way you do. He's just not going to show it as easily as you can.



But if he has told you to tell him when you get like this, then by not telling him, isn't that being even more unsubmissive?

You should just tell him. It will make you feel better. And it will help the relationship.

Plus, for me, there is a feeling of power when My slave comes to me and begs me to tell her how much I want/need/desire her. Something about that openness and vulnerability in her at that moment is very....I don't know the word. But I like it.

Yeah..usually I agree. But I don't ever want to be a burden to him. I don't want him to take my whining as a criticism of him. I should be satisfied with what attention he gives me.

I agree that if he has instructed that he wants to be told about her neediness then he should be told, but walking that line of following orders and being "a whiney brat" for lack of a better term can be tricky.

When I was at my peek of...disapointment and neediness over not making the trip this month I followed his insturctions to always tell him how I'm feeling and what's going on in me. I told him every time we talked on the phone. I confronted him in text. And I guilted and attacked him in IM. I was upset every day, so I told him every day. This was not helpful. It put undesereved stress on him and made him feel guilty for sticking by a decition that he felt was best for both of us.

This of course made me feel like shit as well.

When I could finally see how childish I was being by trying to manipulate him into changing his mind I realized that yes he needed to know how I was feeling, but in a healthy way. Some things I just can't talk to him "face to face" about. This is one of those things.

Comunication is key, it is number one in keeping any relationship healthy. BUT it has to be *healthy* comunication. We have to seperate emotion as much as possible, even when we're talking about emotions. This was one of those times when I couldn't do that while actually talking to him. In these situations I might post here where I can express things more clearly and link him to it. Or when it's a bit more intimate I'll email him.

Emails are a bit less confintational, at least for us. It gives me a place where I can confront issues I have with out being confrontational.

I'm not sure how I didn't see this earlier, but thank you for saying this so perfectly! This has been a HUGE struggle with me lately. Because of how I grew up, I'm used to processing friends and relationships in and out quickly, and when I'm in one place long enough to keep some of those going I worry about the other person getting tired of me and just generally not knowing how to deal with it all appropriately. In fact, I had this same conversation with a good friend (whom I'm still terrified is going to slowly start pulling back away and leaving me because of big changes in his life) last night, only I didn't say it nearly as eloquently because I was embarrassed about it and didn't really want to tell him about it to begin with.

So yeah, that's him, and even though he says he's not going to leave, I can't help but worry about it. The same goes for the rest of my friends and all right now, too.

Hello, my name is Kat, and I'm joining the paranoid fear of abandonment girl club.

*huggles*

 

[ecstaticsub]

I can relate, especially at this moment when I've just missed one visit due mostly to financial issues, and if the economy doesn't pick up at least a little, I could be looking at missing another.

I'm already preparing for a fight that might not even happen. I need this trip in October, often I feel like I need it more than he does. I know that's not true, I know he wants me there as much as I want to be there, but he doesn't show it in the same way. It is there tho. It's there in the sudden pattern of morning texts I have been recieving like clock work for the past couple months.

I also have issues with telling him and how to tell him when I'm feeling needy. I feel guilty about feeling so needy. I feel guilty about wanting to convince him that his decition is wrong. How unsubish is telling your owner he's wrong, eh? I also feel guilty about hoping that he'll give in because I know that wouldn't be good for either of us. I feel guilty for presuring him because it's adding to his stress, and the last thing I want to do is be a burden to him.



I agree that if he has instructed that he wants to be told about her neediness then he should be told, but walking that line of following orders and being "a whiney brat" for lack of a better term can be tricky.

When I was at my peek of...disapointment and neediness over not making the trip this month I followed his insturctions to always tell him how I'm feeling and what's going on in me. I told him every time we talked on the phone. I confronted him in text. And I guilted and attacked him in IM. I was upset every day, so I told him every day. This was not helpful. It put undesereved stress on him and made him feel guilty for sticking by a decition that he felt was best for both of us.

This of course made me feel like shit as well.

When I could finally see how childish I was being by trying to manipulate him into changing his mind I realized that yes he needed to know how I was feeling, but in a healthy way. Some things I just can't talk to him "face to face" about. This is one of those things.

Comunication is key, it is number one in keeping any relationship healthy. BUT it has to be *healthy* comunication. We have to seperate emotion as much as possible, even when we're talking about emotions. This was one of those times when I couldn't do that while actually talking to him. In these situations I might post here where I can express things more clearly and link him to it. Or when it's a bit more intimate I'll email him.

Emails are a bit less confintational, at least for us. It gives me a place where I can confront issues I have with out being confrontational.

THANK YOU! Thank you for understanding exactly how difficult and complicated communication can be. I tend to express myself better in email when there is a problem. But this time isn't really a problem, just me being needy.

We never ever argue or fight when we are with each other in person. I keep thinking that there are a few issues that we really need to discuss but are better discussed in person. But when the time comes I don't want to waste our precious few days together disagreeing. Add to that the fact that when we are together we are more M/s than D/s.

I think I will just be patient and suck it up for a while longer.

 

[the captians wench]

THANK YOU! Thank you for understanding exactly how difficult and complicated communication can be. I tend to express myself better in email when there is a problem. But this time isn't really a problem, just me being needy.

We never ever argue or fight when we are with each other in person. I keep thinking that there are a few issues that we really need to discuss but are better discussed in person. But when the time comes I don't want to waste our precious few days together disagreeing. Add to that the fact that when we are together we are more M/s than D/s.

I think I will just be patient and suck it up for a while longer.

*giggles* I think it's one issue you and I always seem to be on the same page with. We're both needy and stuborn. *giggles*

There are things that I don't want to talk about too indepthly until we are in person. When I was there, I didn't tackle them as indepthly as I had intended. I was just too happy to be there and didn't want to ruin any minute of it, and there was great potential of that with the topics I wanted to cover.

We were kind of the opposite with that first visit. We had a bit less obvious power exchange than is normally evident. This really made me feel more volnerable oddly enough.

We had one disagreement while I was there. Lasted about 30 seconds. *giggles* He was watching TV and I wanted attention. Neediness at it's best. curled up on him, rubbing him and just trying to get his attention focased on me (and admitedly get his clothes off too). He snapped at me telling me to just watch TV. Well I was hurt so moved back to my side of the bed, curled my arms and pouted a little (but remarkably didn't cry). He sighed and called me over to him and let me curl under his arm while he watched TV.

 

[ecstaticsub]

*giggles* I think it's one issue you and I always seem to be on the same page with. We're both needy and stuborn. *giggles*

There are things that I don't want to talk about too indepthly until we are in person. When I was there, I didn't tackle them as indepthly as I had intended. I was just too happy to be there and didn't want to ruin any minute of it, and there was great potential of that with the topics I wanted to cover.

We were kind of the opposite with that first visit. We had a bit less obvious power exchange than is normally evident. This really made me feel more volnerable oddly enough.

We had one disagreement while I was there. Lasted about 30 seconds. *giggles* He was watching TV and I wanted attention. Neediness at it's best. curled up on him, rubbing him and just trying to get his attention focased on me (and admitedly get his clothes off too). He snapped at me telling me to just watch TV. Well I was hurt so moved back to my side of the bed, curled my arms and pouted a little (but remarkably didn't cry). He sighed and called me over to him and let me curl under his arm while he watched TV.

Us, subborn? Nooooo

I know, yep just a teeny bit stubborn, or as I like to call it "determined" .

Before the last visit I was even planning out in my head a couple of things I wanted to discuss with him. But then he picked me up at the airport and from then on I didn't even think of what i had wanted to say. At least not until I was on the plane coming home.


I have found sometimes it is better to just step back and let things happen. Though I really wish men were better at taking hints or at least reading minds.


(or maybe not on the reading minds part...that could get me in a whole lot of trouble in so many ways )

 

[the captians wench]

Us, subborn? Nooooo

I know, yep just a teeny bit stubborn, or as I like to call it "determined" .

Before the last visit I was even planning out in my head a couple of things I wanted to discuss with him. But then he picked me up at the airport and from then on I didn't even think of what i had wanted to say. At least not until I was on the plane coming home.


I have found sometimes it is better to just step back and let things happen. Though I really wish men were better at taking hints or at least reading minds.


(or maybe not on the reading minds part...that could get me in a whole lot of trouble in so many ways )

*giggles* Yup did that too. I must have played discussions out in my head a million times, then with his first kiss my arguments all disapeared. When I got home they started playing again.

I'm learning how to let go and let be. It's probably the most difficult lesson he's been teaching me. I think this year has been the biggest test of that.

 

[missy_me]

It's finally official. I will move to be with J in August and start in a new job in September. I should be over the moon with happiness, I should be excited and making lists about what needs to be done before the move. But I'm not. Instead I'm very nervous and anxious. For some reason I keep waiting for the worst to happen.

This spring has been tough on us. Going from seeing each other every day to seeing each other once a month has been a lot harder than either of us imagined. Our relationship has suffered a lot. I bottle things up inside me until they become toxic and finally explode causing a lot more drama than I ever expected. I'm worried things won't be the same anymore even if we live together again. I'm worried the openness and the effortless communication we had have disappeared.

I've been feeling uncharacteristically restless lately. I get upset over petty little things, I find myself wondering if he truly means the things he says, I interpret (misinterpret might be the correct term here) his words in a crazy way and I even caught myself feeling let down when he bought a new computer instead of using the money for a plane ticket to come see me. I feel like I'm PMSing, but I'm most certainly not. I hate myself for not being able to be happy and believe that everything will be alright again.

I probably will regret ever posting this blurt, but I just need to get these feelings out of my system before J gets here in 5 days. This thread seemed as good a place as any.

 

[the captians wench]

It's finally official. I will move to be with J in August and start in a new job in September. I should be over the moon with happiness, I should be excited and making lists about what needs to be done before the move. But I'm not. Instead I'm very nervous and anxious. For some reason I keep waiting for the worst to happen.

This spring has been tough on us. Going from seeing each other every day to seeing each other once a month has been a lot harder than either of us imagined. Our relationship has suffered a lot. I bottle things up inside me until they become toxic and finally explode causing a lot more drama than I ever expected. I'm worried things won't be the same anymore even if we live together again. I'm worried the openness and the effortless communication we had have disappeared.

I've been feeling uncharacteristically restless lately. I get upset over petty little things, I find myself wondering if he truly means the things he says, I interpret (misinterpret might be the correct term here) his words in a crazy way and I even caught myself feeling let down when he bought a new computer instead of using the money for a plane ticket to come see me. I feel like I'm PMSing, but I'm most certainly not. I hate myself for not being able to be happy and believe that everything will be alright again.

I probably will regret ever posting this blurt, but I just need to get these feelings out of my system before J gets here in 5 days. This thread seemed as good a place as any.

Seperation is hard on a relationship, things won't be the same at least not at first, maybe ever. But then, relationships adapt and grow with or with out the distance.

One thing women tend to get into is analizing what our males are saying. Women are analitical by nature. We are very complex and we tend to believe that our men are too. Well, they're not. Men are much simplier creatures. I think Jeff Foxworthy said it best when he said "Women, you wanna know what we (men) are thinking? We're thinking 'I'd like a beer, and I'd like to see something naked'" This sums it up in very basic terms, but you get the idea. Women have to remember, men (usually) say exactly what they mean. No hidden meaning, no double talk, just the raw point. Why? It's easier, and men are simplier creatures. Even the domly type...maybe especially.

Just remember, it will take time to get back to that comfortable stage when you're living together again. It, most likely, won't be like you haven't had this distance between you, and while it's good that you aren't expecting it to be, don't get caught up on it not either.

Try to let yourself be happy, and try not to worry so much about the adjustment stage.