Distance Domination-Support Thread

[BeBe81]

....

i know what you're saying. i've been in love before. as a matter of fact the relationship i was in before i met Master, i was VERY much in love. it was a completely 'nilla relationship and even though i was 'madly in love' i still never had the feelings i have now. i didn't miss him as much as i do Master etc...i do think there are some things are done or felt because of our submissive nature. and being one who believes that 'submissiveness' is not taught, it's something you're born with, it's in your personality, i'd say, that even in 'nilla relationships (before you find the lifestyle) your submissive traits are still there, so have we ever really been 'nilla? hmmmm...more food for thought....

Ohhhh..... very good point. I have felt "so completely in love" with others before... so severe that it scared me to the degree of running far, far away... well, as far as you can get from California in the states (I'm located in NJ, as of now).... It hurt to even think about losing him, but I had to run even though he promised me the world.... In the end and some time later.... I realized that I was frighten that someone else could care so deeply for me, because of experiences in the past... I have always denied myself for fear of the pain.

With Master.... I know how deeply he cares for me and I'm very appreciative that he shares such thoughts with me... I had those instincts to run again when I felt frighten with these emotions, but it is different.... I know that Master understands and will be there always if it is the best for us both. I can face that fear with him that I could not with others. Bringing the vulnerability into play. So, when I compare the feelings of "love" I had for others to the emotions I feel with Master... there is no comparison... they are two different levels.

I also believe you are born submissive. I always felt it there, but could never understand or allow it to bloom. But, since I have... I feel like I am growing into myself... finally. I also feel as if Master is placing the pieces of my puzzle together with me and that is nothing I have ever dealt with before... I adore the way he is so patient with me.

So, yes I may have missed, loved, cared, yearned before... but these feelings take on a new sensation with my dear Master.

I really value your opinions and am grateful that you are talking so openly to me about these issues. I am a huge "thinker" and need to make sense of things to digest them sometimes.... and with these new feelings... I get a little overwhelmed.

 

[BeBe81]

yes..

i definantly am not the 'hollywood blonde with long pink nails whining' either, but i am needy, in that i NEED Master's constant re-assurance to me. i NEED to know i'm pleasing Him always. i NEED to feel His arms around me. i need alot of things so yea i see myself as needy, do my needs/wants get in the way of His? No way!

Agreed!

 

[littleone77]

*Smiles*

A bit too off topic even for me, heh

 

[BeBe81]

...

You are not alone, I too worry about the smallest of things, and sometimes i find all kinds of emotions are running around in my head. But my Master always manages to reassure me.
My Master has not been well for a few days, I will worry about him now until he is well enough to chat again. Hopefully it wont be too long, I miss him loads.

Oh, yes... I haven't "spoke" to Master since Wednesday, because Master is quite a busy man with work... he was heading back to the states on Thursday and I worry about him with the amount of travel he must do (even though I know he is okay and use to it... I worry still).... It is hard for us both, because I am also very busy with life's little duties and finding quiet time like this is a such a gift... So, with the international time difference sometimes and our "other world" requirements... it is hard, but we do what we can.

But, today is Sunday... my Master and I have been able to cleared some time for tonight. I'm entirely thrilled and relieved....

But, I send my warm wishes for your Master to feel better soon! I know how much even a few days "apart" feels.....

 

[ChromeCollar]

I also believe you are born submissive.

An interesting point you bring up there. I see where you are coming from, always feeling it in the back of your mind and what not, but I know alot of people who started out as submissive and then moved to Dominant, or vice versa. Were Dominants, and then found the person they would rather be submissive to. Their likes, and interests changed. Do you believe our roles in the BDSM D/s lifestyle are set in stone if you think people were born submissive? I believe it is more story of growth and learning. Sort of like tasting of the buffet, and then keeping your plate piled high with the specific foods that you like the most.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

An interesting point you bring up there. I see where you are coming from, always feeling it in the back of your mind and what not, but I know alot of people who started out as submissive and then moved to Dominant, or vice versa. Were Dominants, and then found the person they would rather be submissive to. Their likes, and interests changed. Do you believe our roles in the BDSM D/s lifestyle are set in stone if you think people were born submissive? I believe it is more story of growth and learning. Sort of like tasting of the buffet, and then keeping your plate piled high with the specific foods that you like the most.

i do not think that it is 'set in stone' i do however believe that you have more of one trait than another. Master and i were just talking about this on His lunch break, whether submission or Dominance can be 'taught' i think in order for it to be 'taught' there still has to be a little bit of it wired into them from birth, or it would not be appealing. does that make sense?

 

[subfem1963]

Oh, yes... I haven't "spoke" to Master since Wednesday, because Master is quite a busy man with work... he was heading back to the states on Thursday and I worry about him with the amount of travel he must do (even though I know he is okay and use to it... I worry still).... It is hard for us both, because I am also very busy with life's little duties and finding quiet time like this is a such a gift... So, with the international time difference sometimes and our "other world" requirements... it is hard, but we do what we can.

But, today is Sunday... my Master and I have been able to cleared some time for tonight. I'm entirely thrilled and relieved....

But, I send my warm wishes for your Master to feel better soon! I know how much even a few days "apart" feels.....

I am so happy for you that you got to spend some time today with your Master. It is hard isnt it, to be apart even for a few days. I know it cant be helped though, i just have to be patient.
Thankyou so much for your warm wishes for my Master. Im sure he will be better soon.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*Smiles*

A bit too off topic even for me, heh

i'm lost, what is too off topic for you? *smiles*

 

[littleone77]

i'm lost, what is too off topic for you? *smiles*

Nothing, *smiles*, I just posted something which I changed my mind about is all. It was a bit off topic and I am not quite ready to come out with it yet. Sorry for the confusion.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Nothing, *smiles*, I just posted something which I changed my mind about is all. It was a bit off topic and I am not quite ready to come out with it yet. Sorry for the confusion.

ah i see..though i'm not sure there is a 'set' topic on this thread *smiles* but thanks for clearing up my confused mind *giggles*

 

[littleone77]

ah i see..though i'm not sure there is a 'set' topic on this thread *smiles* but thanks for clearing up my confused mind *giggles*

*Chuckles* I cleared up your mind? Impressive power I must say *Winks*
Good point, it probably would be considered on topic as it is bdsm related. So my new answer is...I am not ready yet, heh.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*Chuckles* I cleared up your mind? Impressive power I must say *Winks*
Good point, it probably would be considered on topic as it is bdsm related. So my new answer is...I am not ready yet, heh.

*giggles* well you did clear up THAT part of my mind, the rest of it, well there may be no hope. and as far as not being ready to post whatever it is..i understand..no rush, but come out with it already *grins*

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Exactly! Once again well said.

Its interesting the differences and similiarities between a D/s relationship and a DaddyDom/s relationship. Both are simply heaven I think

Not to split already fine hairs, but D/bbg is a subtype of D.s... Hence the similarities.

Yes, rose and I are Master/slave but we also have a lot of daddy/babygirl type interaction woven in, cuz that is just who we are.

 

[littleone77]

*giggles* well you did clear up THAT part of my mind, the rest of it, well there may be no hope. and as far as not being ready to post whatever it is..i understand..no rush, but come out with it already *grins*

*Impish Grinz* We need to keep people guessing *Winks* Thats what I always say.

As for what the post was...it involved me trying to label myself. You can only guess how long that label was. *Rolls eyes* When I get a label I like, I will share k?

 

[littleone77]

Yes, rose and I are Master/slave but we also have a lot of daddy/babygirl type interaction woven in, cuz that is just who we are.

Random but maybe I might get answer out of this...Your base is Master/slave. My base is Daddy/babygirl. It has evolved to include D/s (heavily) as well as a few other things which I am not ready to say as of yet. So does that make me a L G bottom here?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*Impish Grinz* We need to keep people guessing *Winks* Thats what I always say.

As for what the post was...it involved me trying to label myself. You can only guess how long that label was. *Rolls eyes* When I get a label I like, I will share k?

*nods,nods* i won't label myself, everyone else does a good enough job of that for me *grins*

 

[MasterPhoenix]

*Impish Grinz* We need to keep people guessing *Winks* Thats what I always say.

As for what the post was...it involved me trying to label myself. You can only guess how long that label was. *Rolls eyes* When I get a label I like, I will share k?

IMO labels are fluid as we grow and mature in this lifestyle. If you asked My rose about a year ago, she would have been much more of a babygirl than a slave. Tho before that she had been more of a slave, and now she is back to being more of a slave with some babygirl traits. We have had to be fluid due to outside circumstances.

As I always say it is a journey not a sprint. As we take the journey, life evolves.

 

[CutieMouse]

So does that make me a L G bottom here?

It makes you a fabulously complex individual.

 

[littleone77]

It makes you a fabulously complex individual.

I think we have a winner. Thanks! *smiles*

 

[ChromeCollar]

Another good article I have stumbled across and thought I'd share.
http://thebrc.net/articles/Tigger/importance_of_self_identity_t2.shtml

Just an update, Master and I have compromised on the learning and limits issue. He has given me permission to find someone (Dominant)local to me that is willing to teach Him different methods of BDSM that he is unfamiliar with. So that he learns in the safe way, and I know he is willing to learn so we can grow together. I can meet the Dominant, get to know them and make the arrangements so that when Master is down here for good, we can put Him to work working me. *grins*

 

[littleone77]

Question

How do you handle a mix of interests concering a possible kink/fetish? He has brought up trying something which I have done a little before with another and I am not that comfortable with it. My physical reaction to it is quite violent and not in a good way usually. And yes, He is aware I am not into it much. Should I just say no to it? Or should I try it with Him and see if my reaction is different?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

How do you handle a mix of interests concering a possible kink/fetish? He has brought up trying something which I have done a little before with another and I am not that comfortable with it. My physical reaction to it is quite violent and not in a good way usually. And yes, He is aware I am not into it much. Should I just say no to it? Or should I try it with Him and see if my reaction is different?

hmm..this is a hard one to answer. i guess it depends on what it is and HOW bad of a reaction you've had to it before. if you consider it a hard limit, and you REALLY don't feel comfortable with it, then i would suggest saying 'no' to it. that is, of course, my opinion, and i think you should go with your gut feeling, if you've had bad reactions before you will probably have them again.

 

[littleone77]

hmm..this is a hard one to answer. i guess it depends on what it is and HOW bad of a reaction you've had to it before. if you consider it a hard limit, and you REALLY don't feel comfortable with it, then i would suggest saying 'no' to it. that is, of course, my opinion, and i think you should go with your gut feeling, if you've had bad reactions before you will probably have them again.

That is my thought as well...threw up after the last time when I tried it. I am just wondering if it wouldn't be different with Him. I am much closer with Him and our relationship is of a different nature. And because He asked, and He asks so little really, for that reason alone I am tempted to say yes.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

That is my thought as well...threw up after the last time when I tried it. I am just wondering if it wouldn't be different with Him. I am much closer with Him and our relationship is of a different nature. And because He asked, and He asks so little really, for that reason alone I am tempted to say yes.

If you had a violent reaction to it that included symptoms of illness, that is something that should be taken into consideration.

I believe that part of the journey of discovery in this lifestyle is pushing limits, BUT there are certain things which are hard limits either because you absoutely detest it or physically can NOT do it.

IMO, if something has given you a violently ill reaction in the past, be wary of it. Yes, it is different circumstances and different partner, but the act is the same and the outcome will likely be similar. It is not Mine to advise you to say yes or no as to whether you will do this for your Sir, but he does NEED to be made aware of its effect on you in the past.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

That is my thought as well...threw up after the last time when I tried it. I am just wondering if it wouldn't be different with Him. I am much closer with Him and our relationship is of a different nature. And because He asked, and He asks so little really, for that reason alone I am tempted to say yes.

i do understand this...i have a similar situation with Master. there is something He really wants, and the subbie side of me says i SHOULD ..because after all it's about HIS pleasure, not mine..BUT on the other hand, my 'common sense side' says it hurts, it's not pleasurable for me even in the sense that i'm pleasing Him, so what do you do?? i don't have any advise on this..i really don't, maybe someone else can help you out...sorry.....