Distance Domination-Support Thread

[boobsqueeezer]

how would i bring this up? Sir has told me that as long as i despise this, it will remain my punishment. but i just did the same thing wrong three times in a row, recieving this as a punishment each time.
the thing i did wrong was forgot to wear my collar in a certain situation. each time i honestly forgot. i would really like to not forget anymore, as i hate dissapointing him by not remebering. the punishment SIr gives me for forgetting, while truly uncomfortable, unwanted, and unliked (and deserved as remebering to wear my collar in that situation is a rule of his) does not seem to be helping me to change my behavor at all, despite the fact that i really would like to remeber.
i was wondering if another punishment would be more effective, but i dont know how to approach this topic with Sir without it looking like i am simply trying to get an easier punishment.


(forgetting to wear my collar was counted in my 13 orgasm denial)

1. How about a written check-list for yourself to verify?

2. A mock 'get-ready-for-PYL' session by yourself again and again to get used to the things that are important to note when presenting yourself to your PYL.

Both when "drilled" will be most useful...try and give your feedback.

And regarding how not to be horny...well, how about numbing yourself 'down there' with a anesthetic spray? *winks.....jokes apart, IMO distraction is the key to avoiding being horny...distraction by reading a good book (nothing sexual .. lol for then it defeats the purpose!). Be with friends ... and be on the move.

Exercise is a good "treatment" for being horny in that once your body gets tired it is eager to get the sleep rather than "pleasure" *winks. Exercise also improves your self control and mind control which can then help you cope with these situations better. But, prevention is better than cure...isnt it?

Blessed be
--
Boobsqueeezer

 

[Luciden]

heh, I'm a nympho and I still haven't figured out how to cope with my constant need for pleasure. I've tried exercise, but it doesn't exactly help

 

[the captians wench]

heh, I'm a nympho and I still haven't figured out how to cope with my constant need for pleasure. I've tried exercise, but it doesn't exactly help

*giggles* me too. My ex said he felt very inadiquit because I wanted it at least once a day, and that once I wanted to last a few hours but I was happy as long as I could cum 3 times.

Now I just get told no.

 

[myinnerslut]

.....

 

[ChromeCollar]

I think a seperate thread with resources, punishment and reward techniques and the what would be okay, but it seems that we cover just about all over that here. Sans the resources bit. I would not mind seeing some reccomendations on literature to read, books people have read and found useful or interesting on the topics of D/s lifestyle and relationship.

You mentioned having your Sub keep a blog, or journal. While I am not a fan of blogs, I've been reading some journals lately that really make fantastic reads. If the person writing them is open and free with their thoughts and experiences, I enjoy seeing the lifestyle through another persons eyes and knowing their thoughts. I feel it not only helps the person writing to let loose with some of their concerns or worries, but also helps the peron reading the journal.

You know an interesting thing about collarme, I've met some really cool people there, but the problem is it never seems to go past a couple pms. They either HAVE to meet (which I dont have a problem with as long as they can respect I am already taken and in a relationship) or they just dont want to pursue anything other than phone or cyber. Where are the groups you hear about, those close knit BDSM groups that people go to parties with, munches with, etc etc. I have seen NO evidence of that in my area and you'd think being this close to San Fransisco, there would be alot.

Boob... innocent my ass. *cackles* Sorry for this long ass post, hope you are all well.

 

[Luciden]

*whine* I have orgasm denial again tonight This time I came accidently while I was waiting for him to reply if I could cum or not >_< damn. Oh, and I have to play with myself too, as if the no orgasm wasn't enough >_<

 

[myinnerslut]

.......

 

[Luciden]

i feel your pain. we orgasm denied subs must stick together, right?

my punishment just keeps stacking up as it goes on.
~i can't myself for 13 days (only nine remaining!!!!)
~i can't wear my collar, sleep in my collar, or otherwise handle my collar untill said 13 days are over (which affecting me more then not being able to cum)
~now, the newest part, im not allowed to speak to him about anything relating to my punishment until it ends. not a word to say how im holding up. nothing. which is making me feel rather isolated.

awww that must be terrible!

 

[ChromeCollar]

I found a really nice site with a page dedicated to nothing but D/s BDSM literature. My Mentor, a Dom that is helping to guide me in my non sexual ways showed me this, and I will be back later tonight to give the link. I have to say, this website is fascinating and amazing. I could lose myself in it for days.

 

[myinnerslut]

I found a really nice site with a page dedicated to nothing but D/s BDSM literature. My Mentor, a Dom that is helping to guide me in my non sexual ways showed me this, and I will be back later tonight to give the link. I have to say, this website is fascinating and amazing. I could lose myself in it for days.

whats the web address?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i feel your pain. we orgasm denied subs must stick together, right?

my punishment just keeps stacking up as it goes on.
~i can't myself for 13 days (only nine remaining!!!!)
~i can't wear my collar, sleep in my collar, or otherwise handle my collar untill said 13 days are over (which affecting me more then not being able to cum)
~now, the newest part, im not allowed to speak to him about anything relating to my punishment until it ends. not a word to say how im holding up. nothing. which is making me feel rather isolated.

wow..what do you guys keep doing to get into trouble? lol.....i've only been punished probably not even a handful of times and i'm sooo glad for that because punishment sucks! not just the punishment but the knowing that i disappointed Sir is enough to make me not 'act up' again. though we are all human, and make mistakes. good luck with your punishment and i hope it's over soon for you

 

[lil_slave_rose]

i feel your pain. we orgasm denied subs must stick together, right?

my punishment just keeps stacking up as it goes on.
~i can't myself for 13 days (only nine remaining!!!!)
~i can't wear my collar, sleep in my collar, or otherwise handle my collar untill said 13 days are over (which affecting me more then not being able to cum)
~now, the newest part, im not allowed to speak to him about anything relating to my punishment until it ends. not a word to say how im holding up. nothing. which is making me feel rather isolated.

is this all for the same infraction? just curious. as far as cumming 'myself' i'm NEVER allowed to do that without Master's permission, and very rarely do i get to masturbate by myself. which is fine with me, because even the times He's let me, it's not the same and it takes me forever. anyway..i hope your punishment is over soon

 

[Luciden]

wow..what do you guys keep doing to get into trouble? lol.....i've only been punished probably not even a handful of times and i'm sooo glad for that because punishment sucks! not just the punishment but the knowing that i disappointed Sir is enough to make me not 'act up' again. though we are all human, and make mistakes. good luck with your punishment and i hope it's over soon for you

let's see... for the past two days, I've been punished for small things like:
not wanting to stick a hot battery into myself and hesitating and saying no >_< (BIG MISTAKE, BTW) , cumming accidently, and begging him for 5 mins to play. That's all I can think of now. but.. that's what I get punished for.

 

[myinnerslut]

again, i can not believe i kept defending him. word to the wise, if you ever find yourself in this situation, stop and reflect fo a minute. i wish i had.

 

[ChromeCollar]

let's see... for the past two days, I've been punished for small things like:
not wanting to stick a hot battery into myself and hesitating and saying no >_< (BIG MISTAKE, BTW) , cumming accidently, and begging him for 5 mins to play. That's all I can think of now. but.. that's what I get punished for.

A hot battery? ...

 

[lil_slave_rose]

let's see... for the past two days, I've been punished for small things like:
not wanting to stick a hot battery into myself and hesitating and saying no >_< (BIG MISTAKE, BTW) , cumming accidently, and begging him for 5 mins to play. That's all I can think of now. but.. that's what I get punished for.

huh? refusing to stick a hot battery into yourself?? you got punished for this? i know we all have our own kinks and what not, but this doesn't even sound 'safe' i could be wrong on my thoughts of exactly what it is He wanted you to do but ..wow..i dunno....this is my opinion of course......

 

[lil_slave_rose]

im getting punished for the same thing as before. after talking with him about the use orgasm denial as the only punishment, he added the last two on in addition. i feel the last two more, and feel completly isolated and lke i let him down far more then i probably did since i cant talk to him or do what i do to reassure myself which is wear my collar. im talking myself in circles and making this out to be possibly worse then he may have intended, but i cant let him know how im faring without getting in more trouble.

wow is really all i can say about this too. i mean, communication is key and if you can't tell Him how you feel about something (and i'm talking about the orgasm denial not working) than how are you suspposed to trust Him and have this bond? not to mention not being able to tell Him your fears and how you're feeling during your punishment, wow, i just couldn't imagine. He should be glad that you came to Him to talk to Him about the punishment not working so He knew to 'try' something else, again this is my opinion but i just don't know how i'd feel if i felt i couldn't talk to Master when something was bothering me. *shrugs* good luck to you, and again i hope it's over soon....

 

[the captians wench]

wow..what do you guys keep doing to get into trouble? lol.....i've only been punished probably not even a handful of times and i'm sooo glad for that because punishment sucks! not just the punishment but the knowing that i disappointed Sir is enough to make me not 'act up' again. though we are all human, and make mistakes. good luck with your punishment and i hope it's over soon for you

I'm the same. I've only been really punished maybe 3 times, and each time was a big deal. Any sort of spanking, beating, nipple play, tacking, or even orgasm denial is just fun. I gave him my orgasms, sort of our 8 month aniversery present. He owns them, so he has every right to give them to me or deny me as he likes. *shrug* but that's us.

 

[the captians wench]

huh? refusing to stick a hot battery into yourself?? you got punished for this? i know we all have our own kinks and what not, but this doesn't even sound 'safe' i could be wrong on my thoughts of exactly what it is He wanted you to do but ..wow..i dunno....this is my opinion of course......

wow is really all i can say about this too. i mean, communication is key and if you can't tell Him how you feel about something (and i'm talking about the orgasm denial not working) than how are you suspposed to trust Him and have this bond? not to mention not being able to tell Him your fears and how you're feeling during your punishment, wow, i just couldn't imagine. He should be glad that you came to Him to talk to Him about the punishment not working so He knew to 'try' something else, again this is my opinion but i just don't know how i'd feel if i felt i couldn't talk to Master when something was bothering me. *shrugs* good luck to you, and again i hope it's over soon....

I'm with rose on both accounts. There have only been a couple of things that I have ever hesitated on performing for my Master and each time we talked about why I was hesitant, and why I didn't want to do them, and what would make me more comfortable. I've never been punished for asking about something that I wasn't comfortable doing. And I've never been punished for asking him question about punishment, and things he likes. He once made me go 3 weeks with out an orgasm. I was miserable so I asked him why he would do such a thing. He said "cause it's fun" . But he didn't add on any time for me asking. Infact I teased him about it for another 5 mins before he even threatened it. If I ever felt like something he was doing was not safe for me, or felt like I couldn't talk to him when I was upset by a punishment, or activity, I don't think I would respect him as much. Again that's just me.

 

[myinnerslut]

wow, i cant believe i defended him on this. he was such an ass.

 

[JMohegan]

Greetings, aficionados of virtual D/s and fellow kinksters.

I will confess upfront here that I have no experience with virtual D/s. I've never even had an IM conversation (of any kind), and do not own a webcam. In short, I am an Internet virgin. So please be gentle with me if you choose to respond to this post.

I would like to share with the submissives here a few maxims that I believe are an important part of any non-TPE consensual D/s relationship.

1 - A two-tiered safeword system is an essential part of consensual pain play. "Yellow" (or an equivalent) means: "I'm really not sure I can do this, may we please talk about it for a few minutes?" or "I need help, I'm approaching my limit!" or something like that. "Red" (or an equivalent) means: "I can't take any more." Play stops immediately.

2 - There should always be a system in place, 24/7, whereby a submissive who is extremely confused or concerned that she is being treated unfairly retains the right to call "time-out" from the D/s dynamic and have a candid exchange about what's going on.

3 - The Dominant is honor-bound to obey both the safeword system and the time-out system. And punishing a submissive for using her safeword or calling time-out is never okay.

4 - The submissive is honor-bound to use both the safeword system and the time-out system with integrity and honesty, and never for the purpose of manipulation.

5 - Insisting on a safeword system and time-out system in a non-TPE consensual D/s relationship does *not* mean you are unsubmissive. IMO, it simply means you are committed to healthy D/s.

These are just my personal opinions, of course. Not Gospel. YMMV.

 

[ChromeCollar]

A punishment should be that, a punishment but if it is causing you to feel lost, miserable or detached from your Master, you really NEED to call a time out and have him talk to you, or explain to you to help you feel better. I think all subs have been punished at one time or another, I being one of them. But I was able to tell my Master I needed to step outside the domain and have a serious adult discussion about this, and we did. I told him my thoughts, my angst, my feelings in total on the situation and he explained his reasoning, his logic and we understood eachother perfectly. I came to a new understanding of how he thinks and why he does what he does, and he came to a greater understanding of how his punishments effect my mental well being. It was a good thing, and I havent been punished in quite a while now because I am able to see the path leading down that road and avoid it.

As for a hot battery, I'm sorry but that is just insane. I try not to be a judgemental person, and a free thinker but if anyone told me to stick a hot battery inside my privates I would tell them to go straight to hell. In what aspect is that even remotely safe? You are talking possibly permanent injury here, depending on the heat of the battery. Or possibly "losing" it inside you and a hospital visit to help fish it out. I *really* think you need to have a discussion with your Master on the well being of your self, both mentally and physically and maybe set up some hard limits or I'm afraid you'll get hurt. And IF you told him no, you refuse to stick a battery up inside yourself and that is a hard limit, no way should he be punishing you for that IMO. Anyhow, best of luck to both of you Luc and Myinnerslut. Hope this message doesnt ruffle the feathers.


~Summer

p.s. Welcome to the thread JM, and thank you for gifting us with such words of wisdom. Hope to see you back here some more.

 

[ChromeCollar]

Here is the link as promised. I have found Borders to have more titles pertaining to this than Barnes and Noble. I asked the clerk once if I could order Abernathys concise manual of slave training and thought I would be run out of the store once at Barnes and Noble. Enjoy!

http://www.castlerealm.com/bookstore/bookstore.shtml


Here is another link that I feel some people on this thread should really explore. It has helped me a great deal, and if you take the words to heart, it will help the submissive inside you blossom and grow into a beautiful creature. Remember, there is a difference between being a submissive and being a slave.

http://www.castlerealm.com/subspace/subspace.htm

 

[Luciden]

huh? refusing to stick a hot battery into yourself?? you got punished for this? i know we all have our own kinks and what not, but this doesn't even sound 'safe' i could be wrong on my thoughts of exactly what it is He wanted you to do but ..wow..i dunno....this is my opinion of course......

yeh.. the punishment for that one was to have to stick it in one more time after I had already done it.

Right now I have a vibrator in my ass. It's a long story, but let's just say I didn't pee when I orgasmed, and I really had to pee, apparently he was trying to make me do both at the same time. After I hadn't peed, he had me put the vibrator in my ass and go to the toilet (after much begging to be able to pee). I tried to pee for about 5 mins and he told me if I didn't pee within the next 10, then I would have to go and masturbate some more, and that if I could bring myself to an orgasm, to orgasm, and then go back to the toilet and try again. Luckily for me, I got to pee.

Anyways, I have more stuff to finish before he calls again, and I'm hungry.


Anyone have a similar story?

 

[shy slave]

You if a battery leaks into you it could cause a great deal of damage including early death...right?

Sometimes I don't know whether to cry or give up when I read stuff like this