Distance Domination-Support Thread

[ecstaticsub]

Taking time off really isn't the issue, he has plenty of time off lately, and that's the issue.

I really don't mind if he has to work while I'm there. I can entertain myself. I just don't want him to post pone another trip because he needs to work. I don't care if we can't spend all day together, just as long as he can kiss me goodnight when we get ready for bed and goodmorning before he leaves for work.

I got it. Daddy owns his own business. He can take time off when ever he wants, but if he doesn't work he doesn't make money, so I understand.

 

[Hisbeauty]

i also understand about that. Sir does a lot of traveling, and schedules are a bitch to get together. Most of our time is spent on the phone or email or IM.

But...i count myself lucky. 10 years ago, i didn't even have a computer and would have never met Sir.

i really don't want to think about that one.

 

[HisSexyPet]

i also understand about that. Sir does a lot of traveling, and schedules are a bitch to get together. Most of our time is spent on the phone or email or IM.

But...i count myself lucky. 10 years ago, i didn't even have a computer and would have never met Sir.

i really don't want to think about that one.

Totally agree with you there. Don't think many of us would be with our Sirs if it weren't for the wondefulness that is the internet.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I certainly would not have Daddy without the net and I would not have the contact I have with him as he uses his PC at work. We would be lost without it.

 

[the captians wench]

There are a lot of things that if they had happened differently in my life I would have never met Jounar.

My exhusband is actually the one that found this site, he fell inlove with some one from the AH, spent our wedding anniversery with her, then decided that maybe he could have married some one else and we split.

I was depressed and looking for a confidence boost, so I started posting in the Am Pics. That's where I met Jounar.

 

[HisSexyPet]

B and I feel that everything happens for a reason, even the bad things. For us they have lead to an even better, more fulfilling relationship.

The internet can tear things apart, but can also rearrange things into patterns that would never have been an option before.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Edited to remove vent and voicing issues in public

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

Talk to him.

Will it make everything better? I don't know. (hopefully it does)

Will it at least resolve the issue? Yes.

By not talking, you will never resolve the issue. It will cause more damage tucked away then out in the open.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

 

[Homburg]

Talk to him.

This.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Talk to him.

Will it make everything better? I don't know. (hopefully it does)

Will it at least resolve the issue? Yes.

By not talking, you will never resolve the issue. It will cause more damage tucked away then out in the open.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.

This.

Thanks for your responses, it is appreciated.

So much easier said than done. I want a visit to go the way he wants it to go. I want to give him what he wants. I don't like confrontation at all. Plus I just give into him so easily. It is so hard as a submissive to voice discontent. I don't think it will resolve the issue if I bring it up. It is one of those things he won't or he feels he can't fix. I disagree.

I guess I will figure some way out of this

Thanks again.

 

[the captians wench]

It is so hard as a submissive to voice discontent. .

I think this is a very common problem among those of us under the pyl flag.

It's very hard for me to bring up issues that I have. I think part of me feels as if I don't have a right to be upset about anything. He thinks that's silly.

Of course I'm in a situation simular. And as my mom pointed out yesterday, I need to speak up and make sure he understands how devistating not making this trip would be.

In other words, I feel ya girl.

 

[Homburg]

Thanks for your responses, it is appreciated.

So much easier said than done. I want a visit to go the way he wants it to go. I want to give him what he wants. I don't like confrontation at all. Plus I just give into him so easily. It is so hard as a submissive to voice discontent. I don't think it will resolve the issue if I bring it up. It is one of those things he won't or he feels he can't fix. I disagree.

I guess I will figure some way out of this

Thanks again.

The "Communicate, communicate, communicate," advice is simple, but not easy. It's rarely easy.

I sympathise, and wish you luck.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I think this is a very common problem among those of us under the pyl flag.

It's very hard for me to bring up issues that I have. I think part of me feels as if I don't have a right to be upset about anything. He thinks that's silly.

Of course I'm in a situation simular. And as my mom pointed out yesterday, I need to speak up and make sure he understands how devistating not making this trip would be.

In other words, I feel ya girl.

back at ya!

Does it ever feel to you that not making the trip is more devastating to you and not so much to him? It's not that I am insecure, I have a healthy ego lol. But it's as if it's always me that is so desperate for us to get together. I know part of it for us is he doesn't want to add more stress to my already stressful life by ordering me to find a way to come to him. But sometimes I wish he would.

 

[ecstaticsub]

The "Communicate, communicate, communicate," advice is simple, but not easy. It's rarely easy.

I sympathise, and wish you luck.

Thank you

 

[Homburg]

Does it ever feel to you that not making the trip is more devastating to you and not so much to him?

Perhaps it is devastating to him, and he's not letting on so as to not make you feel worse than you already do.

 

[the captians wench]

back at ya!

Does it ever feel to you that not making the trip is more devastating to you and not so much to him? It's not that I am insecure, I have a healthy ego lol. But it's as if it's always me that is so desperate for us to get together. I know part of it for us is he doesn't want to add more stress to my already stressful life by ordering me to find a way to come to him. But sometimes I wish he would.

*giggles* Oh yeah! but I think that's men in general not just the domly types.

Part of the reason I don't express as much as I probably should right now is that I know he's really stressed and I don't want to add to it.

In May when he put off our visit I tried hard not to whine about it, but in the last couple weeks before my scheduled trip I got a bit bratty. He did not tollerate it.

He doesn't express his disapointment in the same way I do. Sometimes I feel as if he's more confident in our relationship than I am because he doesn't get as upset (or apear to) as I do about putting off a visit. He just doesn't seem to need it like I do. There are a varity of reasons for this, all of which I know (being a man and being a dom are at the top of this list), and some times that makes me feel better and some times it doesn't.

The thing I have to remember is he doesn't know how I feel unless I tell him, and tell him clearly and to the full extent of what I'm feeling. This is very hard for me to do, always has been. I've always had an issue with burdening people with my troubles. But is it my place to decide what is a burden? And am I not being disobediant by not telling him every thought and feeling I have as he has told me he wants me to do? So I flip back and forth.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Perhaps it is devastating to him, and he's not letting on so as to not make you feel worse than you already do.

I suppose that is always possible. I think it is more that he is simply more practical. He doesn't get upset by things that simply are not possible.

*giggles* Oh yeah! but I think that's men in general not just the domly types.

Part of the reason I don't express as much as I probably should right now is that I know he's really stressed and I don't want to add to it.

In May when he put off our visit I tried hard not to whine about it, but in the last couple weeks before my scheduled trip I got a bit bratty. He did not tollerate it.

He doesn't express his disapointment in the same way I do. Sometimes I feel as if he's more confident in our relationship than I am because he doesn't get as upset (or apear to) as I do about putting off a visit. He just doesn't seem to need it like I do. There are a varity of reasons for this, all of which I know (being a man and being a dom are at the top of this list), and some times that makes me feel better and some times it doesn't.

The thing I have to remember is he doesn't know how I feel unless I tell him, and tell him clearly and to the full extent of what I'm feeling. This is very hard for me to do, always has been. I've always had an issue with burdening people with my troubles. But is it my place to decide what is a burden? And am I not being disobediant by not telling him every thought and feeling I have as he has told me he wants me to do? So I flip back and forth.

At this point that is the only time I email him. It's when I have something I feel I need him to know but not necessarily something I need him to fix. It solves the problem of keeping him informed of why I may be distracted or what I may be burdened with without him having to listen to me vent on the phone and him being feeling like he has to fix it.

That's not going to work this time.

Thanks !

 

[ImpishSeraph]

back at ya!

Does it ever feel to you that not making the trip is more devastating to you and not so much to him? It's not that I am insecure, I have a healthy ego lol. But it's as if it's always me that is so desperate for us to get together. I know part of it for us is he doesn't want to add more stress to my already stressful life by ordering me to find a way to come to him. But sometimes I wish he would.

I feel this way too. It's been nearly a year since I had the pleasure to visit. The longest I've gone yet I know I will feel nervous when I am able to go. I get this weird nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach when I think about the next time I will be able to serve him in person.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I feel this way too. It's been nearly a year since I had the pleasure to visit. The longest I've gone yet I know I will feel nervous when I am able to go. I get this weird nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach when I think about the next time I will be able to serve him in person.

After 4 years i still get the weird nervous butterfly feeling before each visit.

 

[ImpishSeraph]

After 4 years i still get the weird nervous butterfly feeling before each visit.

You're right. Come to think of it, I get that feeling every morning I wake up next to him when I am there. I'm quite pathetic too because when I'm with him, I can't take my eyes off him. I love to look at him. I long to be with him and can't wait till I can.

 

[the captians wench]

I suppose that is always possible. I think it is more that he is simply more practical. He doesn't get upset by things that simply are not possible.



At this point that is the only time I email him. It's when I have something I feel I need him to know but not necessarily something I need him to fix. It solves the problem of keeping him informed of why I may be distracted or what I may be burdened with without him having to listen to me vent on the phone and him being feeling like he has to fix it.

That's not going to work this time.

Thanks !

That's usually my first step too, but some times it doesn't help. Sometimes I feel like I cencor myself too much when I email him and he doesn't get the full extent of how I feel. Like you I'm at that point right now.

But I don't always let go when I talk to him either. When I was there, I got brave enough to ask how he saw our future and about me being there. I didn't get an answer that fully satisfied my questions, I still don't. I just don't know how to keep pressing. I guess this can be good and bad.

 

[Homburg]

I suppose that is always possible. I think it is more that he is simply more practical. He doesn't get upset by things that simply are not possible.

To an extent, that is the same thing as what I was talking about. I do my level best to not get upset about such things either, or at least to not appear upset. That sort of emotional practicality, or at least the attempt at same, is a stereotypical male trait, especially amongst domly males.

I'm not arguing with you at all, ES. Just trying to offer a possible peek behind the curtain. And I'm not saying he is this way, just that it is a pretty common trait amongst men like that.

In my own case, I know how negatively my disappointment affects my girls. So I tend to be sparing with it when they are not at fault. Likewise, I know that fretting over something like that overlong does me no good. Better to move on and focus on the next chance. I'm not always so good at that part, but I try to keep the fretting to my time, not ours.

 

[the captians wench]

To an extent, that is the same thing as what I was talking about. I do my level best to not get upset about such things either, or at least to not appear upset. That sort of emotional practicality, or at least the attempt at same, is a stereotypical male trait, especially amongst domly males.

I'm not arguing with you at all, ES. Just trying to offer a possible peek behind the curtain. And I'm not saying he is this way, just that it is a pretty common trait amongst men like that.

In my own case, I know how negatively my disappointment affects my girls. So I tend to be sparing with it when they are not at fault. Likewise, I know that fretting over something like that overlong does me no good. Better to move on and focus on the next chance. I'm not always so good at that part, but I try to keep the fretting to my time, not ours.

I think I can safely agree with this. I'm always amazed at how much more practical Jounar seems compaired to me.

 

[Homburg]

I think I can safely agree with this. I'm always amazed at how much more practical Jounar seems compaired to me.

"Practical" is often a defense mechanism.

It was oddly difficult to admit to that.

 

[the captians wench]

"Practical" is often a defense mechanism.

It was oddly difficult to admit to that.

Oh enlightened domly one.

I guess it wouldn't help anything to have two emotional ones in a relationship.

As much as I hate to admit it, and as much as I'm trying to fight it this year, I really do need Jounar to be practical. Else I'd be visiting him every couple of weeks but starving while I'm stateside.