Different Types of Subs

[dr_mabeuse]

Everyone does BDSM their own way, but there are some generalities that can be made, and I find these terribly interesting. I wanted to see if we can do any generalizing about types of submissives, or maybe just talk about how we'd go about doing such a classification. I've got science fever.

We already make a feeble attempt at classification when we talk about painsluts or cumsluts or slaves - subs who respond to pain or sexual pleasure or who like to serve another. I know I get along especially well with subs who aren't of the 24/7 variety, who are quite independent away from the bedroom and who respond to a certain amount of violence and roughness. I don't know what you'd call these kind of women though. In my mind I kind of call them "givers" because they seem to like having sex taken from them

It would be nice if there were some sort of scale that rated subs on various traits: obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, patience, etc. etc. What other things would you add to such a scale? I especially need input from subs on this, on how you view what you give and what you do.

Have you noticed significant differences in what you want and bring to a relationship that set you apart or make you similar to other subs and that would allow generalization?

 

[EmpressFi]

I'm new to being a submissive, so I'm not sure how I'd designate me... I know my Master is pleased with me how I am, as he tells me so all the time. I am.. hmm. I would say that at times, I am very independant and Master encourages me to speak my mind. And then some times, I am very clingy, very needy, and rely on the security of being told exactly what to do. I must think on this a while..

 

[ecstaticsub]

I don't know what kind of classification you can do but I know what I am and what I am not

I am not a slave, though I consider myself owned.

I do not live with him, but consider myself emotionally 24/7 in that I thnk of him all day and he effects how I conduct my day to day activities on some level.

I am not a service submissive. 90% of what I do for him, tasks he assigns etc is sexual in nature.

Sex plays a HUGE part in our relationship. If there was no sex, there would be no relationship.

We are still exploring my pain threshold, we are working up slowly to see what I can handle. I like the idea of pain.

I am in love with him and have a very strong emotional need to bring him happiness and fulfill every sexual need and want he has.

Someone (a very vanilla male friend of mine) once said that I wasn't really a submissive just having a kinky affair with a very possesive, controlling abusive boyfriend. Of course this guy was also trying to get into my pants so his view is biased..lol (he is no longer my friend) But I say this just because diffrent people will view a relationship in totally different ways.

 

[EmpressFi]

So many of those statements describe how I am with Master. I also am not a "slave" but I am owned by him and derive great comfort from knowing that. We also dont live together but are in constant communication and many of my actions/reactions are prefaced with "how would Master want me to react?" When we are together, we explore the limits of my pain threshold... both of us enjoying testing my limits and developing the trust that I will tell him when it gets too much. I am in love with him and with that comes the desire to do all that I can to make him happy.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Does this mean you think 24/7 slaves are not or cannot be independent or have qualities of independence outside the bedroom? Curious minds a'wonderin'.

Catalina

 

[HottieMama]

i haven't noticed a lot of differences between myself and other subs simply because i do not go looking for them. It is not my place to judge who is more/less "subby" than me. i hate that kind of shit. As long as i am happy and LC is happy that's all that matters to me.

 

[the_pet]

Does this mean you think 24/7 slaves are not or cannot be independent or have qualities of independence outside the bedroom? Curious minds a'wonderin'.

Catalina

i wondered this too but then i said, "fuck it", i'm not even going to bother explaining myself. Oh wait, was that an independent thought? I better go ask my Pyl if i'm allowed to think that

maybe that means i'm 23.5/7 slave


pet

 

[SubKekiLee]

So many of those statements describe how I am with Master. I also am not a "slave" but I am owned by him and derive great comfort from knowing that. We also dont live together but are in constant communication and many of my actions/reactions are prefaced with "how would Master want me to react?" When we are together, we explore the limits of my pain threshold... both of us enjoying testing my limits and developing the trust that I will tell him when it gets too much. I am in love with him and with that comes the desire to do all that I can to make him happy.

Here here Empress... I feel the exact same way with my D... He is my world and I do everything I can to please him.... I love him and seeing him smile makes me smile..

 

[Netzach]

It's either on or it's off. I'm not "trying to submit" and being a willfull asshole to the one person I'm willing to do that with. I'm totally submissive with him and totally Dominant with the rest of the world. And I didn't look for a Dominant, I just found the person I want to serve.

 

[sexycaz22]

Umm... it is hard to describe what "type" of a submissive I am, since I am very new and is still exploring and having fun!

For now, although, I would label myself as a "spanking slut"

 

[FurryFury]

I'm a veggie sub with my own special sauce . . .

 

[incubus_dark]

Strangely enough, there are a variety of ways that soft science types classify personality traits, that would be applicable, but most of them are devilishly cunning and time consuming. However, a particularly easy classification that yields a pleasingly cryptic, but not impenatrable result is the star or spider diagram. You decide on your standard traits, count them up, then assign each to an axis 360 divided by the trait count degrees appart, radiating from a central point. That is, a star shaped set of lines from a central point to a 'corner' of a regular multi-sided shape. Now you measure your scale of 1 to 10 for each trait along the line, and when you plot the assigned result from a given sub, then join the dots with a concave curve, you end up with a deformed star that is unique, more or less, to that sub. When you become familiar with them (the diagrams, not the subs) they can yield qualatative information and comparison at a glance, and are easily produced.

Traits could be the obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, and patience that you've outlined, as well as some physical characteristics, say height, weight and depiliation preference, or it could include degrees of enthusiasm regarding certain aspects of play, such as masochism, tying, or whatever.

If you apply a standard set of indices, you get a directly comparable result. We could even have someone clever make a Java aplet to draw them in response to a questionaire, and assign them on the site here. If they become popular, people might get them tattooed on their foreheads.

 

[Chicklet]

It would be nice if there were some sort of scale that rated subs on various traits: obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, patience, etc. etc. What other things would you add to such a scale? I especially need input from subs on this, on how you view what you give and what you do.

I really don't think a 'rating system' would be good at all. It implies that certain traits are more desirable, and more acceptable. It's like giving me a C+ on my subbiness. and I for one hate the word "subby" and absolutely hate having my behavior patterns shaped out by my 'identity'

blech.

sorry i'm not helpful. it just rubs me the wrong way.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm a veggie sub with my own special sauce . . .

And, apparently, a good dose of hot peppers.

 

[Exogenous]

(snip)

It would be nice if there were some sort of scale that rated subs on various traits: obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, patience, etc. etc. What other things would you add to such a scale? I especially need input from subs on this, on how you view what you give and what you do.
QUOTE]

Reading this paragraph, the first thing that came to my mind was the Nurtrion Facts label on consumables in the grocery store. Is that what you're going for, to determine what percentage of "obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, patience, etc. etc" that makes up each individual submissive? One problem with that is people change. So, what percentages of each characteristic one has in one's 20s may very well be different compared to when in their 30s, 40s, etc.

Everyone always has a “core” in what they want and expect in a relationship. Yet, various aspects of their expectations, needs, wants, and what they are willing to give may change due to what they experience and learn as they go through life, on an individual level as well from different relationships.

I didn’t take your post as wanting to grade submissives, but simply trying to identify the specific types of submissives. I’m not sure that’s possible, because as you noted, “everyone does BDSM their own way.” Identifying generalizations is a starting point, of sorts. Yet, the fact that we (subs and Doms, alike) are all individuals (with different expectations/needs/wants that change) makes classifications of specific types of subs rather difficult.

 

[vffan]

I know I get along especially well with subs who aren't of the 24/7 variety, who are quite independent away from the bedroom and who respond to a certain amount of violence and roughness.

You can be independent outside of the bedroom and still be in a 24/7 relationship.

 

[EmpressFi]

I dont know if what I have would be classified as a 24/7 relationship. I mean, we're about 1000 miles apart..but there's not a day where we dont have some kind of contact... that being said.. I am quite independant out of the bedroom..

 

[Bandit58]

I am both a bedroom sub and a service sub. That being said there are things I will not give up control of (finances being one hard limit that readily springs to mind). I am slightly masochistic and enjoy a good spanking

We are not big on protocol and have a very loving and fun filled relationship.

 

[FurryFury]

And, apparently, a good dose of hot peppers.

*chuckles*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

You can be independent outside of the bedroom and still be in a 24/7 relationship.

agreed. i am an independent single mother who works to support myself and my children, i'm also owned by my Master. i hate the assumption that 24/7 equals no brain, no thought process of your own, not independent, etc...i'm not sure how i'd classify myself and i'm not really sure i even want to. i am what i am, and that's it.....

 

[sister76]

I seriously doubt if a scale would tell you anything about a sub, not too much anyway.

From what I have seen every one is vastly different just like any other woman or man.

What do you think about dominants being rated on a scale? Hmmm....?

Personally I am an aggressive yet introverted, intellectual yet totally sexual, very emotional yet rational-minded person. I am only sub to my man who has captured my heart, and dominated my entire soul.

What more do you want to know?

 

[Bandit58]

agreed. i am an independent single mother who works to support myself and my children, i'm also owned by my Master. i hate the assumption that 24/7 equals no brain, no thought process of your own, not independent, etc...i'm not sure how i'd classify myself and i'm not really sure i even want to. i am what i am, and that's it.....

*Also agreeing* How useful would I be to Him if I had to be micro managed and told what to do every minute of every day?

In my world 24/7 means being available for whatever He may require of me, be it making a cup of tea, helping with dialysis or catering to His sexual needs.

 

[Exogenous]

What do you think about dominants being rated on a scale? Hmmm....?

Now, there's an interesting idea!

Have you noticed significant differences in what you want and bring to a relationship that set you apart or make you similar to other subs and that would allow generalization?

There is one common thread with submissives; it’s that their aim or goal is to please their Doms. That is the single generalization that I can pinpoint.

As far as what subs want and bring into a relationship, that’s like going a to Baskin & Robbins 31 Flavor ice cream parlor; each submissive has unique character traits and set of skills. Every sub has various combinations of attributes, as well as wants, to bring to a relationship, and they are not all the same.

Significant differences? My personal take is that each sub can relate to another, in some way or form. However, there are so many different approaches to being a submissive one cannot generalize or classify a specific type of sub.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Does this mean you think 24/7 slaves are not or cannot be independent or have qualities of independence outside the bedroom? Curious minds a'wonderin'.

Catalina

No, not at all. I'm hampered by the lack of terminology here. I was trying to specify those subs who are so dependent upon their doms that they can't make a move without them. '24/7' was the closest term that came to mind.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Strangely enough, there are a variety of ways that soft science types classify personality traits, that would be applicable, but most of them are devilishly cunning and time consuming. However, a particularly easy classification that yields a pleasingly cryptic, but not impenatrable result is the star or spider diagram. You decide on your standard traits, count them up, then assign each to an axis 360 divided by the trait count degrees appart, radiating from a central point. That is, a star shaped set of lines from a central point to a 'corner' of a regular multi-sided shape. Now you measure your scale of 1 to 10 for each trait along the line, and when you plot the assigned result from a given sub, then join the dots with a concave curve, you end up with a deformed star that is unique, more or less, to that sub. When you become familiar with them (the diagrams, not the subs) they can yield qualatative information and comparison at a glance, and are easily produced.

Traits could be the obedience, independence, self-esteem, pain threshold, and patience that you've outlined, as well as some physical characteristics, say height, weight and depiliation preference, or it could include degrees of enthusiasm regarding certain aspects of play, such as masochism, tying, or whatever.

If you apply a standard set of indices, you get a directly comparable result. We could even have someone clever make a Java aplet to draw them in response to a questionaire, and assign them on the site here. If they become popular, people might get them tattooed on their foreheads.

Funny, I was just screwing around with this on Excel using what they call "Radar Charts" which are idetical to your spider diagrams and that's partially what prompted this thread: the problem of what traits to include. On Excel, you can make a radar chart instantly.

It's late for me now, but maybe I'll post my preliminary charts tomorrow.