did porn warp me forever

[silverwhisper]

i'm a bit older than the author, but i thought that this was worth discussing. i periodically watch porn but never as obsessively as the author reports and i wonder how common this is.

thoughts?

ed

 

[Aphro]

Ummm...you see sex in the New York City subway map?

 

[silverwhisper]

huh...obviously, wrong link. the OP's been edited with the correct link. #linkfail.

ed

 

[DrHappy]

... i periodically watch porn but never as obsessively as the author reports...

I think that's the key. I think that the alcohol analogy is very appropriate. You'll come across lots of stories about how alcohol ruins people's lives, but for the vast majority, it's a harmless enhancement for people's lives. It's the same with porn. Some have a tendency to become obsessive. There were other things in the article that I can't quite put my finger on, but I got the feeling that the author had an overall tendency to obsess.

 

[Aphro]

As a mother of two young teen sons, this is something I have been worried about. This is the precise reason we keep the computer on the main floor, and the door must be left open when the kids are on it. Eldest is getting a phone for Christmas, so what he conjures up on the WiFi at night in his room, well, I am not sure how to prevent that. Maybe make him keep the phone downstairs at night?

The author talks about viewing online porn before he even had the capacity to ejaculate. So, help me out guys, what age are we talking about? Ten years old? Eleven? The thought of a boy that young, watching bukkake videos, hurts my heart.

This is, for me, is the problem with the ease and availability of internet porn: the fact that the kids can access it at such a young age, before they have had any real life sexual experience, so their thoughts about what sex "should" be is warped by the bizzarro world of fantasy porn sex.

As an adult, I can watch porn and in many cases, I find it almost laugh out loud funny, because I know how fake and stupid some of it is. This is probably why I prefer to watch the amateur stuff, because it's more normal, for want of a better word.

However, a ten year old boy wouldn't know the difference, so I can see how he could be conditioned by those sorts of images, and then find real life sex unfulfilling. Once you've had the lobster, how do you go back to breaded fish sticks? Once you've cut your fapping teeth on silicone filled bimbos, how do you get it up to a real woman with a normal body? The idea of a young man in his twenties unable to get it up, or maintain an erection with a woman is sad beyond belief.

I'd be interested in hearing from some of the younger "millennial" men on the boards, and find out what their experiences are.

 

[GrrlFriday]

Do you charge the rest of your phones in the kitchen or somewhere public? Then it'd be a natural thing to say 'put it on charge overnight, those batteries just plain don't last', or a lesson on 'switching off' at the end of the day, avoiding drama and lack of sleep by pointedly un-devicing oneself.

Kids will be curious - kids these days are doing things like telling their friends that 'googling 'naked lady' means you can see pictures'. I'm thinking the age would be closer to 9 or 10 than 11.

It's hard to get through the message that 'porn is to sex as cartoons are to rocket science'. Particularly when sex ed is focused on the sheer 'tab a, slot b, contraception' mechanics of it.

 

[twister947]

Nah. I was born warped.

Seriously, I like porn, but I don't think it's healthy. Like bacon. And I can't imagine this shit through the eyes of a child.

 

[likembig4sure]

Maybe

I grew up with a dad and grandfather with playboy subscriptions, and i love porn. Not the unrealistic girls moaning, fuck me and oh ah oh ah, but real life amateur porn.

I only look at two sites this one and one other that real people post up videos and pics of themselves and their wives. I do not like commercial porn at all.
Not that when my wife finds that I have been looking at porn it makes it any easier to say yes i was looking.

I am sure i was not warped by it. I look at videos that turn me on and most of the time I am exploring things that I thought about and then want to see. My porn watching has never included progressively more explicit sex acts. I like what I like and I look at it.

I do believe that porn addiction is a real thing.

 

[InsatiableDsire]

As a mother of two young teen sons, this is something I have been worried about. This is the precise reason we keep the computer on the main floor, and the door must be left open when the kids are on it. Eldest is getting a phone for Christmas, so what he conjures up on the WiFi at night in his room, well, I am not sure how to prevent that. Maybe make him keep the phone downstairs at night?

The author talks about viewing online porn before he even had the capacity to ejaculate. So, help me out guys, what age are we talking about? Ten years old? Eleven? The thought of a boy that young, watching bukkake videos, hurts my heart.

This is, for me, is the problem with the ease and availability of internet porn: the fact that the kids can access it at such a young age, before they have had any real life sexual experience, so their thoughts about what sex "should" be is warped by the bizzarro world of fantasy porn sex.

As an adult, I can watch porn and in many cases, I find it almost laugh out loud funny, because I know how fake and stupid some of it is. This is probably why I prefer to watch the amateur stuff, because it's more normal, for want of a better word.

However, a ten year old boy wouldn't know the difference, so I can see how he could be conditioned by those sorts of images, and then find real life sex unfulfilling. Once you've had the lobster, how do you go back to breaded fish sticks? Once you've cut your fapping teeth on silicone filled bimbos, how do you get it up to a real woman with a normal body? The idea of a young man in his twenties unable to get it up, or maintain an erection with a woman is sad beyond belief.

I'd be interested in hearing from some of the younger "millennial" men on the boards, and find out what their experiences are.

FWIW, our solution was to remove Safari and require a password to download any apps. AND no phones need be in their rooms at night. Yes, all boys find porn eventually and masturbate, etc. but when I found anime bondage porn on my then 12 year olds iPod.... Access to weird shit is just too easy, and that's a little too young.

 

[Hypoxia]

Has porn warped me? Hard to tell. At least I don't masturbate in public. Not often, anyway.

Trying to keep pr0n from kids? Rotsa ruck. Haven't we yet learned that PROHIBITION DOESN'T WORK?

My daughter discovered pr0n early. Then she went Goth. Then she married a celebrity chef. Now she excellently raises kids. Warped? I think not. But the experience sure was a strain.

 

[NippleMuncher]

i'm a bit older than the author, but i thought that this was worth discussing. i periodically watch porn but never as obsessively as the author reports and i wonder how common this is.

thoughts?

ed

No, you were fucked up WAY before you started watching porn!

*ducks trout*

The author points out what I see is the #1 issue. Kids viewing porn without the worldly experience or knowledge to understand what it is. They see it as real, and they develop unrealistic views and behaviors surrounding it, as evidenced by the author.

This is further hampered by a society that believes it's better to deny access to sex education, not discuss sex with kids, not give them access to birth control or prophylactics, then forbid kids from having sex when they're not only curious, but raging with hormones. This all works so well, doesn't it? Worse still are those who wish to demonize sex, make it "dirty".

As hard as it may be, it is the parents responsibility and duty to educate their kids about sex in a healthy way. It shouldn't be a secret, it shouldn't be dirty. Does this mean the kids are in the room while you fornicate, hell no, they don't need to know what goes on in your bedroom, it only means that you give them the information they seek, in a manner that they can understand, from the moment they start asking questions about it.

 

[stickygirl]

I started seeing porn online when I was about twelve because all my friends were doing it and I remember being grossed out by it - I looked at adults in completely different way! So I completely support he idea of educating your kids in advance and doing your best to restrict access: switch your WiFi off at night and hunt out ways of restricting downloads as NipMuncher said earlier.
Most of the time they're going to be playing online games with gratuitous violence, not looking at porn, which corrupts minds far more IMO … Oh, you're going to have so much fun…

 

[Scattered_Ice]

i'm a bit older than the author, but i thought that this was worth discussing. i periodically watch porn but never as obsessively as the author reports and i wonder how common this is.

thoughts?

ed

aegyptians and romans had pornography in public display as ornaments it's just a cultural thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGVOdE-GfbU

 

[twister947]

aegyptians and romans had pornography in public display as ornaments it's just a cultural thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGVOdE-GfbU

Porn is not all the same. This is an apples and oranges comparison.

 

[Scattered_Ice]

Porn is not all the same. This is an apples and oranges comparison.

not sure if srs

roman fresco depicting bisexual threesome found in the main dining room of a house in pompeii

http://nakedvillainy.com/images/roman_porn_2.jpg

have fun coming down from the clouds, humans are and always have been sexual freaks

 

[MeekMe]

As a mother of two young teen sons, this is something I have been worried about. This is the precise reason we keep the computer on the main floor, and the door must be left open when the kids are on it. Eldest is getting a phone for Christmas, so what he conjures up on the WiFi at night in his room, well, I am not sure how to prevent that. Maybe make him keep the phone downstairs at night?

The author talks about viewing online porn before he even had the capacity to ejaculate. So, help me out guys, what age are we talking about? Ten years old? Eleven? The thought of a boy that young, watching bukkake videos, hurts my heart.

This is, for me, is the problem with the ease and availability of internet porn: the fact that the kids can access it at such a young age, before they have had any real life sexual experience, so their thoughts about what sex "should" be is warped by the bizzarro world of fantasy porn sex.

As an adult, I can watch porn and in many cases, I find it almost laugh out loud funny, because I know how fake and stupid some of it is. This is probably why I prefer to watch the amateur stuff, because it's more normal, for want of a better word.

However, a ten year old boy wouldn't know the difference, so I can see how he could be conditioned by those sorts of images, and then find real life sex unfulfilling. Once you've had the lobster, how do you go back to breaded fish sticks? Once you've cut your fapping teeth on silicone filled bimbos, how do you get it up to a real woman with a normal body? The idea of a young man in his twenties unable to get it up, or maintain an erection with a woman is sad beyond belief.

I'd be interested in hearing from some of the younger "millennial" men on the boards, and find out what their experiences are.

I was in elementary school when I first seen porn. No internet needed.

 

[DeviantDaniel]

I was in elementary school when I first seen porn. No internet needed.

I was 11 when I found my fathers extensive, extremely hardcore, porn stash. It was an eye opener.

Hasn't done me any harm at all. Just got a bit of an earlier education than most!

 

[fire_breeze]

As a mother of two young teen sons, this is something I have been worried about. This is the precise reason we keep the computer on the main floor, and the door must be left open when the kids are on it. Eldest is getting a phone for Christmas, so what he conjures up on the WiFi at night in his room, well, I am not sure how to prevent that. Maybe make him keep the phone downstairs at night?

Completely off topic, but with my cousins' and their teenagers, the rule is that if you are not 18, you are not considered to be an adult (this used to be 16, the age of maturity in our culture, but then it got bumped to 18 when one of my nephews was obviously not mature enough to take the responsibility). This means you do not have any rights: no phones in the bedrooms, no laptops etc. All phones are charged overnight in the office and have to be returned there after the school day, after homework and chores are done.

It may seem harsh. I don't know, I don't have kids of my own, but it's what each one of my cousins implemented and the reason was because the kids were texting until all hours of the night and were dead exhausted in the morning, so it was the executive decision. My eldest niece, 19, still puts her phone in the kitchen before she goes to bed in order not to be disturbed by incoming texts, facebook updates, you name it.

And those nieces and nephews who would be considered to be adults at 16 are mature enough not to care that they can't have their phones/laptop in their rooms.

Just a thought - I don't know if it could work for you, as the cousins emphasised the need for sleep rather porn and that school comes first (or phone, laptop and/or console will be confiscated). It works in my extended family and when the punks stay over at my place, they are so well trained that all electronics go into my office without my asking. It might work for yours .

/off topic.

 

[amofiga]

I think that's the key. I think that the alcohol analogy is very appropriate. You'll come across lots of stories about how alcohol ruins people's lives, but for the vast majority, it's a harmless enhancement for people's lives. It's the same with porn. Some have a tendency to become obsessive. There were other things in the article that I can't quite put my finger on, but I got the feeling that the author had an overall tendency to obsess.

Agree. Occassioinal porn, especially porn with an SO can be fun and a good "enhancement" to sex. When you watch porn more than anything else, it's obsessive.

To the young lady who's worried about her kids seeing it, good luck. It's so easy to find now days it's probably impossible to stop them from seeing it. It might be better to just try to explain that it has a time and place and isn't terrible as long as it's in moderation. Kind of like masturbation. You have sons, they're going to jerk off. If they don't see porn in your house, they'll see it somewhere and the images and thoughts will be in their head. Teenagers are particularly "wise" or "self controlled" but trying to make it a huge "sin" will only enhance the tittilation of the taboo. Sometimes it's best to address the facts of life head on.