dick too long

[southernsky]

*sigh* I never thought I'd ever be complaining about this, but I'm having sex with a very well endowed man, and he's too long for me. In any position but standard missionary, he hits my cervix, i think, and it hurts a lot. I miss other positions, but it hurts when we try. Any ideas? It seems like there's a really fine line between him hitting my g spot and going in too deep, and i don't think it's fair to ask him to concentrate that hard and still enjoy himself. Any ideas?

 

[Eilan]

*sigh* I never thought I'd ever be complaining about this, but I'm having sex with a very well endowed man, and he's too long for me. In any position but standard missionary, he hits my cervix, i think, and it hurts a lot.

Ooh, I hear ya on this. My husband's average, and during the first half of my cycle, we have to be careful because my cervix is extremely sensitive. Some women might get off on cervix-pounding pain, but I'm not one of them. Once I've ovulated, though, I don't have any pain.

I miss other positions, but it hurts when we try. Any ideas?

What other positions do you normally use? I've found that spooning, which is one of my favorite positions, allows for deeper penetration even when my cervix is sensitive. Missionary and other variations of him-on-top are very uncomfortable for me before mid-cycle.

It seems like there's a really fine line between him hitting my g spot and going in too deep, and i don't think it's fair to ask him to concentrate that hard and still enjoy himself. Any ideas?

Yeah, but it's also not fair for you to suffer through any type of pain that you don't want to suffer through, either, and he should respect that.

Guys, take heed. Sometimes a huge cock just isn't all that.

 

[SweetErika]

The bright side is it'll be a hell of a lot of fun to "research" this, and you've got some more options with a longer cock. A few possibilities:

-Maybe you on top, even reverse cowgirl so you can control the depth. You could also try with him sitting on a couch, chair, or propped up in bed; I've found that type of position can make controlling depth easier.

-It may sound a little odd, but doggy style, him not thrusting, and you moving back to meet him. We did this when we were starting out with anal, and it worked well for me to have control of speed and depth. It's kind of fun and different, too.

-Regular doggy could work, particularly if you start slow and he's willing to stick to the depth you can handle. You can also try varying the angle of your pelvis and body (up, on the bed, etc.) to control the depth.

-Standing, and standing with him behind you, maybe on stairs or something if the height difference is too great.

-You sitting on a table, counter, or bed with him standing or kneeling in front of you. Laying like this could work too, and you might want to experiment with pillows under your hips/butt to vary angles and depths (I'm thinking that might help him to kind of thrust more up, in the direction of your tummy, possibly getting the g-spot, but not go so deep).

-Missionary, but with your legs together and straight out.

-Both sitting and leaning back with your weight resting on your hands.

-Face-to-face on your sides.

More to check out :
http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/index.html
http://www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions

 

[Guest]

 

[TBKahuna123]

Just when I thought I was comfortable with my penis, a cock-size thread comes along which shatters my ego. Am I the only one who isn't bottoming out? Does that mean my dick's too small?

OK, ok just kidding. On a serious note, I've dated women where this is a problem, and I'm not packing a telephone pole or anything, so I can see where a guy with a larger cock might have this problem. I'll throw a little twist in here regarding positions. My wife has a quite common condition where her uterus is actually tilted, this causes her cervex to be further back, effectively making her vagina a couple inches deeper than if it were in a normal position. We normally don't have a problem with hitting it unless she is on her back with her legs pulled up. Now, this is what Erika suggested to avoid that problem, so I'm wondering if maybe my wife's cervex isn't just deeper, but positioned differently? I guess I'd never thought of that, but it could be an issue.

I bring this up becasue I'd hate for you to try one of these suggestions, not have it work, and get more frustrated. Remember that every woman's body is different and that what works for others may not work for you.

As for is it fair to ask him to slow down and be careful, absolutely! If he cares about you he doesn't want to hurt you (unless you ask him too ). I often have to slow down and be gentle because just like Eilan, my wife gets sensitive during certain parts of her cycle. This is not a detriment to my pleasure, it just means I can't go at her like a jackhammer. That concentration certainly doesn't detract from my enjoyment, and I actually find it empowering and satisfying to see my wife in the throes of pleasure even though I know she's on the verge of pain. That tells me that I've been sensitive enough to her situation to still give her pleasure without hurting her. At the risk of sounding male, that's a big boost to the ego for me.

If something he does hurts you, you have to let him know. Enduring pain for his pleasure isn't right, and unless he's a complete jerk he shouldn't expect you too.

 

[aznoutkast]

Why don't you go to the hardware store and throw on a couple of fat washers?

 

[TBKahuna123]

Why don't you go to the hardware store and throw on a couple of fat washers?

OK, even though I think this is a serious discussion here on this thread, I have to say: That's funny!

 

[LadyJeanne]

OK, even though I think this is a serious discussion here on this thread, I have to say: That's funny!

AND, one of those stretchy jelly cock rings, with or without a vibe attached, might actually be a good idea!

 

[TBKahuna123]

AND, one of those stretchy jelly cock rings, with or without a vibe attached, might actually be a good idea!

You know, that's a great idea! He wouldn't have to concentrat as much, just stop when he felt the ring touching. That's a pretty damned good idea LJ!

 

[LadyJeanne]

That's a pretty damned good idea LJ!

I do get one every now and then - I may have used up my quota for the day, though.

 

[aznoutkast]

ha ha, that was my concept...

 

[southernsky]

the jelly cock ring actually might not be such a bad idea! where on earth do i find one? I'm allergic to latex btw, so that kind of limits some toy options.

just to clarify, he's being a saint about the whole issue, and totally willing to stop, go, or try something new. it's just SUCH a fine line, as in, stick it in just enough and i don't quite get pleasure from it, and stick it in another half an inch and i'm yelling about it that it's been really difficult to find a depth and stick to it while trying to have some semblance of sex.

i mean, should I be worried? is this what they mean at the gyno when they ask you if you have any pain during intercourse? does that question just not take into account big dicks?

we pretty much stick to missionary now, as any variation hurts my cervix! I'd like to try the doggy style but with me thrusting instead. is it worth spending my money on something like a copy of the kama sutra, or do those positions cause the same problems?

All I can find on this issue is how to fix a guy who's too short, or doesn't last long enough, and boy oh boy, i do NOT have either of those problems! I actually have quite the opposite. I can't exactly find articles in Cosmo about "how to make your guy cum faster" or "what to do when he's too big". Oh well... I could have worse problems I guess, but it's just frustrating not to be able to utilize the myriad of sexual positions that I've enjoyed in the past but now hurt like hell!

Any more advice?

ok, had to edit out that last line about him not being huge. i got some measurements...

 

[LadyJeanne]

the jelly cock ring actually might not be such a bad idea! where on earth do i find one? I'm allergic to latex btw, so that kind of limits some toy options.

Here's a link to a super-deluxe version of a jelly cock ring with a vibrator. It's made of silicone, not latex, so it's a bit pricey. Freddy and Eddy know what they're talking about and have written a very detailed review, which will help you consider what to look for. There are tons of online sites that sell different versions of them. Try Amazon, or Good Vibrations, or Adam and Eve or Blowfish.

http://www.freddyandeddy.com/productreviews/Vibrators/deluxetechnoloverreview.htm


There's a big selection of style and types here:

http://ww3.sextoysex.com/sex/start/cat.html?a=sextoyspro&tf=SE1443-00|CFEAT|Super-Stretchy

Enjoy!


Edit to add: Sweet Erika gives really good advice here:

-Maybe you on top, even reverse cowgirl so you can control the depth. You could also try with him sitting on a couch, chair, or propped up in bed; I've found that type of position can make controlling depth easier.

This can also be done in the back seat of a car, if necessary.

 

[human_male]

Can't you just get him to hold the base of his dick, y'know so it won't go in too deep. Like you have to do with donkeys.

 

[TBKahuna123]

i mean, should I be worried? is this what they mean at the gyno when they ask you if you have any pain during intercourse? does that question just not take into account big dicks?

It might not be a bad idea to get checked out just in case. Anytime you are that sensitive there could be an issue. I know getting shafted in the cervix is gonna hurt no matter what, but you seem to describe it as a very fine line, hwich makes me think it takes very little bumping to cause you pain. It shouldn't be that sensitive. Or should it? I mean, I'm not a woman or a doctor, so maybe I'm wrong here, I just know that when my wife has any pain during intercourse, it's a concern (and not because of my size ).

 

[Eilan]

just to clarify, he's being a saint about the whole issue, and totally willing to stop, go, or try something new. it's just SUCH a fine line, as in, stick it in just enough and i don't quite get pleasure from it, and stick it in another half an inch and i'm yelling about it that it's been really difficult to find a depth and stick to it while trying to have some semblance of sex.

Has he had other partners? They might have also had the same issue. I'm not saying that you call them up and ask them what they did to overcome the issue, but perhaps you could talk to him about it.

i mean, should I be worried? is this what they mean at the gyno when they ask you if you have any pain during intercourse? does that question just not take into account big dicks?

I think the natural response to any sort of pain "down there" is worry, even if there's nothing to be worried about. If you have a gyn appointment coming up (or need to schedule one), it's definitely worth asking about.

 

[jadefirefly]

My wife has a quite common condition where her uterus is actually tilted, this causes her cervex to be further back, effectively making her vagina a couple inches deeper than if it were in a normal position. We normally don't have a problem with hitting it unless she is on her back with her legs pulled up. Now, this is what Erika suggested to avoid that problem, so I'm wondering if maybe my wife's cervex isn't just deeper, but positioned differently? I guess I'd never thought of that, but it could be an issue.

I have this condition too. (Though saying it like that makes it sound like it's an awful thing!) From what my doc told me, it just sort of positions the cervix back a little further, and tilted slightly. It's not really a problem, unless you're pregnant and the poor doc can't quite find the darn thing.

It does get to be a bit of a pain, though, when the positions that are supposed to be easier to work with wind up causing more pain than they're worth!

 

[Straight-8]

A sensitive cervex can be a real problem. One woman I was having a relationship with had some kind of gyne procedure done to make her less sensitive. My SO seems to be ok if I just get past her cervex. Generally things are a little tighter at first. You may want to continue to work on just learning to accomodate him for a while but there are some procedures available that can help. The thick jelly ring is a great short term idea but I doubt it will work if you are planning a long term relationship. I got one at Little Sisters (?) in SF.

 

[LadyJeanne]

A sensitive cervex can be a real problem. One woman I was having a relationship with had some kind of gyne procedure done to make her less sensitive. My SO seems to be ok if I just get past her cervex. Generally things are a little tighter at first.

Sigh. You can't get past her cervix. Really. Look:

http://www.luckymojo.com/faqs/altsex/femlintrnl.gif

 

[Eilan]

My SO seems to be ok if I just get past her cervex. Generally things are a little tighter at first.

I'm a little confused here. Do you mean get past her cervix as in:

1. Get beyond that particular sexual issue (sensitive cervix)?

or

2. Literally get past her cervix?

If #2 is your intended meaning, then I'd suggest that you find a good medical sex manual and not have sex again until you're familiar with female anatomy.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I have this condition too. (Though saying it like that makes it sound like it's an awful thing!) From what my doc told me, it just sort of positions the cervix back a little further, and tilted slightly. It's not really a problem, unless you're pregnant and the poor doc can't quite find the darn thing.

I hope I didn't make it sound awful. That wasn't my intention.

 

[southernsky]

actually, i think i understand what he means. if i reach up inside myself, there's vagina beyond my cervix, its just that my gspot is right before my cervix.

 

[Eilan]

if i reach up inside myself, there's vagina beyond my cervix

How is that physically possible? Your uterus is beyond your cervix. Is it the result of a tilted uterus or something?

 

[southernsky]

see the label 'fornix'? the uterus and cervix aren't at the exact precise top of the vagina. sort of more on the front wall.

am i the only one with this problem? i'm starting to feel a little lonely about it lol

 

[Straight-8]

Sigh. You can't get past her cervix.

You see that area called the 'fornix' which extends past the cervix....it stretches. It is part of the vagina. The cervix then rubs on the back of your cock and there is not the pain caused by thrusting into the cervix. Get it?