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DGO's New Unthread!

I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.

Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.

We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.

(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.

(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.

(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.

(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.

(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.

Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.
 
Papa-Joe said:
Hello D G O came to say Hi and wish you a wonderful Weekend ;)
Click to expand...

Thank you Papa-Joe. You are always so kind and considerate. My weekend was okay, except for the pain. Today I received another pain injection. I wish I could get a nerve transplant!
 
done_got_old said:
I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.

Top scientists agree, "With the present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted before the 22nd century," say several prominent physicists. "There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and the decrease in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to feel the effects of vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably have to deal with the issue."

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering, like keeping bridges and buildings weighted down, but what about sports? Breaking records for the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will grow longer and a 92-yard field goal will not be unheard of.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help.

We can conserve Gravity, just follow these simple suggestions:

(1) Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.

(2) Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.

(3) Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like snorkeling.

(4) Avoid showers .. take baths instead.

(5) Don't hang all your clothes in the closet, keep them in one big pile.

(6) Stop flipping pancakes.

This is most assuredly not a joke. What could be more serious? After all, gravity is the opposite of comedy. You may be laughing now, but just picture your great-grandchildren wearing safety tethers and tied to concrete posts, unable to play outdoors for fear of floating away on a windy day.

Please be gravity conscious, while we still have some.
Click to expand...



That is indeed a grave situation, DGO, certainly brought my day down. I guess I better go on a diet cause I'm using more than my fair share of gravity. I do note, however, that I might be able to reach the green in five strokes on a par 4 once we lose some gravity. And my girlfriend's breasts . . . well, let's leave that alone. Excuse me, I'm going to go harass some joggers, so wasteful!
 
DeckardNYC said:
That is indeed a grave situation, DGO, certainly brought my day down. I guess I better go on a diet cause I'm using more than my fair share of gravity. I do note, however, that I might be able to reach the green in five strokes on a par 4 once we lose some gravity. And my girlfriend's breasts . . . well, let's leave that alone. Excuse me, I'm going to go harass some joggers, so wasteful!
Click to expand...

I don't think scientists considered the benefits in their study.
 
done_got_old said:
Thank you Papa-Joe. You are always so kind and considerate. My weekend was okay, except for the pain. Today I received another pain injection. I wish I could get a nerve transplant!
Click to expand...
hope they find something to relieve your Pain but I believe they prescribe Medical Marijuana for that here in Canada ;)
 
Papa-Joe said:
hope they find something to relieve your Pain but I believe they prescribe Medical Marijuana for that here in Canada ;)
Click to expand...

It's available here, but I haven't asked about it. The smell alone makes me sick, so even as a youth I never smoked it. Most folks my age were big pot smokers, but not me. I've had people accuse me of lying when I said I'd never smoked the stuff.

Several people I know used it when they were going through chemo, but I didn't have the nausea and vomiting they had. Thank goodness.

I've only taken 1 hydrocodone this morning. It doesn't eliminate the pain, but does make it tolerable. Now, 12 hours later standing and walking for any distance is painful, but I can manage. I don't complain a lot because I have friends dealing with more serious problems. Plus folks from my high school graduating classes are dropping like flies.
 
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