Designed to fail

[Netzach]

Effort is a very important concept for me in my dynamic. I have said many times that I do not expect 100% success, just 100% effort. Simply put, if you try your level goddamned best and still can't quite do it, I'm not going to be an ass and hem you up. You gave it 100%. It was just beyond you. As I mentioned before, no matter how strong I get, there are always more plates out there.

I'm like this too. I can do impossible bitch for fun, but most of the time I *want* to be pleased and happy and being perpetually disappointed takes too much damn work. I assume that full effort is being put in and I don't mind a rough edge or two on the product.

 

[satindesire]

I'm like this too. I can do impossible bitch for fun, but most of the time I *want* to be pleased and happy and being perpetually disappointed takes too much damn work. I assume that full effort is being put in and I don't mind a rough edge or two on the product.

That really presses all the right buttons for me. Were I single...

 

[Keroin]

However, I also totally get, H, what you're saying to K about the level of seriousness (I feel like there's a better word for what I think you're trying to say, but I can't come up with it either) in her D/s dynamic compared to others here, and I think the same is true for me. Punishments, true punishments, don't really exist in either of my D/s relationships either. I feel I may be somewhere in between where K is on the spectrum and where I perceive most s-types on this board to be. And I do suspect that this difference may be directly related to the tolerance of failure within the D/s relationship by the pyl. Not in a causative way, but correlative, sure.

No, I think "seriousness" is probably apt. There are things in my life I take seriously and things I do not. Getting my ass smacked or doing some task for the amusement of a PYL definitely falls under the "play" or "silliness" category for me. Not that I'm not serious in the moment or anything like that, just that I tend to look at life with backward binoculars and thus see that some things are - *for me* - worth getting tied in a knot over and some things aren't. (Pun intended).

I often sit in front of the screen and think (about my writing), well, this will never amount to anything, so why bother? I'm getting past that, but it's a challenge.

I dare you to show me an artist who doesn't feel this way. I don't talk about the number of "Oh my Cod! What am I thinking? I can't do this, I'm shit!Who do I think I'm fooling, calling myself a writer??!!" meltdown moments I've had over the past five years...but, trust me, I've had many.

When I started in the stunt biz, there was a group of about twelve of us greenies that were all working as extras, desperate to be stunt people. Back then, Vancouver wasn't yet Hollywood North and job opportunities were hard to come by. I'd say, of those twelve I started with, about 80% were far, far more talented than I was. Only four of us made it. And we weren't the four most talented - well one was - we were just the four who didn't quit when things got tough.

So, when I'm writing and I start to feel like "How can I possibly succeed at this??" I remember that I don't have to be the best, I just have to keep trying and not give up.

I frequently get off-the-cuff "tasks" that I cannot possibly succeed at (like "here, hold my coffee" when my hands are over-full, I'm flustered and distracted, and he has nothing else to carry). We both find my knee-jerk attempt to do the absurd hilariously funny.

These tasks are designed to make us laugh.

LOL. I love this ES!

I'm getting better at looking at my failures as opportunities for growth, but it's really difficult. We don't do tasks, but if I feel like I failed at some aspect of our relationship (bad communication, emotional dumping, inability to control my emotions, etc), then I usually beat myself up about it pretty bad. But I'm getting better.

Good for you, Syd.

I don't think it is tough to understand, nor do I think it is sane/insane. You are both more risk-tolerant, and failure-tolerant than, well, anyone else I know. After all, look what you did for a living for years.

My first stunt day ever I had the coordinator standing an inch from my face screaming, "YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE SHOT!!!"

So, yeah, I've had worse, lol.

Effort is a very important concept for me in my dynamic. I have said many times that I do not expect 100% success, just 100% effort. Simply put, if you try your level goddamned best and still can't quite do it, I'm not going to be an ass and hem you up. You gave it 100%. It was just beyond you. As I mentioned before, no matter how strong I get, there are always more plates out there.

Effort is SO sexy. From both PYL and pyl, in my opinion.

 

[rida]

I frequently get off-the-cuff "tasks" that I cannot possibly succeed at (like "here, hold my coffee" when my hands are over-full, I'm flustered and distracted, and he has nothing else to carry). We both find my knee-jerk attempt to do the absurd hilariously funny.

These tasks are designed to make us laugh.

If I were to be asked to "hold the coffee" in such predicament, chances are that I'll drop everything else to comply with the order

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I've really tried many times to answer this thread, and I'm struggling witht he words.

That's a failure I can cope with though. Even though it shits me.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I cannot cope when I fail at something I know I'm capable of. And when Sir tells me I've failed him, that hurts so much that I just burst into tears (it doesn't happen very often, although he tells me jokingly I've been bad and I still cry lol), but if I fail at something new, its a different experience of emotion.