Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Beholders_Eye]

Depression often kills the sex drive, actually. I mean, I am sure everyone's experience is different, but one of the symptoms of it is often decreased sex drive. That doesn't mean that someone may not try to search for small, fleeting feelings or whatever.

I can attest that, for me, when I am super duper depressed, the last thing I can think of is wanting to engage in any sexual activity--granted, I have to be really, really depressed for that. I am also bipolar, so that can go entirely the other way. With unipolar depression, or being in a long depressive state, for a lot of people sex is just not going to happen. Like, having been sucked into a terrible depression the past year/this year, I went six months without even masturbating. Nothing. I also didn't visit here.

Like, I can see both. For me, when I come here when I am depressed, I am mostly looking for human interaction so I can take my mind off of things. Since I've been coming to this site for 20 years, it's sort of a weird coping skill for me. I admit I am, I am sure, in the minority here, but I don't always come here with a sexual intent. Obviously I will be engaging with some kind of sexual content, but I often don't find myself aroused, or if I do, I can't maintain that arousal for more than a small span of time. So, taking an interest in sex or sexual things is one thing. Having a high sex drive is not the same thing, I think.

Just want to add -- about ten years ago, my psych took me off two particular anti-depressants (I had been taking several). His reasoning was that as I have gotten older, I likely did not need them. My discontinuation of them went very well (slow steps). There were two positive side effects. One was that I lost about 20 pounds, my appetite was more controlled.

The other effect was that my libido went through the roof! Like an express train coming down the tracks. And in the years since, it has stayed strong. I do still take another antidepressant (only one now).

My point is that I had no clue that (some) antidepressants could have been lowering my sex drive; I had just put it down to the depression per se. Not suggesting anyone do anything different or stop medications, but it might be something you could talk to your psychiatrist about.

Reiterating: One should never change or discontinue these medications without the psychiatrist's advice. But stopping some with my psych guidance did reinvigorate my sex drive immensely.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Just want to add -- about ten years ago, my psych took me off two particular anti-depressants (I had been taking several). His reasoning was that as I have gotten older, I likely did not need them. My discontinuation of them went very well (slow steps). There were two positive side effects. One was that I lost about 20 pounds, my appetite was more controlled.

The other effect was that my libido went through the roof! Like an express train coming down the tracks. And in the years since, it has stayed strong. I do still take another antidepressant (only one now).

My point is that I had no clue that (some) antidepressants could have been lowering my sex drive; I had just put it down to the depression per se. Not suggesting anyone do anything different or stop medications, but it might be something you could talk to your psychiatrist about.

Reiterating: One should never change or discontinue these medications without the psychiatrist's advice. But stopping some with my psych guidance did reinvigorate my sex drive immensely.

Not only can they lower the sex drive, but they can also make it hard to orgasm. But yes, just as you said: Don't randomly stop taking your meds, readers! Just let your doctor know if you are having issues.

I can't take antidepressants as I have bipolar disorder. They don't work well for bipolar disorder, and they did some very, very horrible things to me in addition to not helping me with the actual depression. I have to take other medications that also suck, in their own ways, but have been keeping me alive on a baseline, so there is that. It's kind of depressing to think I will have to take them for the rest of my life, but there you have it.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Not only can they lower the sex drive, but they can also make it hard to orgasm. But yes, just as you said: Don't randomly stop taking your meds, readers! Just let your doctor know if you are having issues.

I can't take antidepressants as I have bipolar disorder. They don't work well for bipolar disorder, and they did some very, very horrible things to me in addition to not helping me with the actual depression. I have to take other medications that also suck, in their own ways, but have been keeping me alive on a baseline, so there is that. It's kind of depressing to think I will have to take them for the rest of my life, but there you have it.

It phuqing sucks that the meds we take to stay alive screw us up in different ways.
I’m glad you’re here.
Be safe out there. Love you.

 

[upstatenymikey420]

I've been dealing with it for several years now. I haven't found a solution. Doctors and meds didn't work. I too am out of ideas to rid it

 

[Wetkitty09]

I've been dealing with it for several years now. I haven't found a solution. Doctors and meds didn't work. I too am out of ideas to rid it

Keep looking. Follow your relief. Sometimes it’s just a little bit but it may help you feel better.
PM if you need to talk. I do my best to be available.

 

[upstatenymikey420]

I appreciate that. I did pm you

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning. I hope the day finds you as well as can be expected.
Giving this a bump.
Be safe out there. Love you.

 

[cutcrystal]

Something that helps - this thread.

Something that doesn't help. Trying to form genuine connections online and contacts sooner or later asking for money, iPhones, mobile data, for me to buy groceries for them, and countless other angles. Where are the genuine people in a cyber Ocean of scammers.

Another one today asked for £50. And my depression has flared big time.

CC

 

[upstatenymikey420]

Something that helps - this thread.

Something that doesn't help. Trying to form genuine connections online and contacts sooner or later asking for money, iPhones, mobile data, for me to buy groceries for them, and countless other angles. Where are the genuine people in a cyber Ocean of scammers.

Another one today asked for £50. And my depression has flared big time.

Omg I feel this to my core! Mostly all scammers. The couple real people I've met. Have not been serious. Just wanted to play games with me

 

[cutcrystal]

That sounds about right.

 

[Wetkitty09]

I don’t ask for anything. PM me if you want to connect as a friend with a nonjudgmental ear.

 

[cutcrystal]

I don’t ask for anything. PM me if you want to connect as a friend with a nonjudgmental ear.

Sent a PM

CC

 

[Spanky1372]

I've been dealing with it for several years now. I haven't found a solution. Doctors and meds didn't work. I too am out of ideas to rid it

If you want to pm me I'll do my best to be a listening ear. Four operational tours and other events and I still get triggered but I do manage it without medication. I am NOT a licensed therapist.

 

[upstatenymikey420]

If you want to pm me I'll do my best to be a listening ear. Four operational tours and other events and I still get triggered but I do manage it without medication. I am NOT a licensed therapist.

Hey thanks for the offer I appreciate it. The other goes both ways. You can talk to me as well if needed

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Have a good weekend everyone. I am anxious because I start my new job tomorrow.

 

[cutcrystal]

Have a good weekend everyone. I am anxious because I start my new job tomorrow.

All the best with the new job.

 

[Baldo_bearded]

Hello all, been a hard week for me and trying to not let it affect my attitude moving forward. Looking forward to hearing everyone's success stories.

 

[LustfulIntentions2]

Have a good weekend everyone. I am anxious because I start my new job tomorrow.

You got this. They hired you because they liked you and your background. Remember that.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Have a good weekend everyone. I am anxious because I start my new job tomorrow.

I hope this one takes good care of you.
Congratulations.

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

Today really fucking sucks. That's all I have to say...

Hopefully saying it makes me feel better.

 

[Baldo_bearded]

Today really fucking sucks. That's all I have to say...

Hopefully saying it makes me feel better.

You got this, chief.

 

[Bassytian]

I've been having a rough week, the mental anguish is causing pain in my back, neck and shoulders too. But if I may offer comfort to anyone else going through this, don't give up! It always passes, and we'll come out stronger in the end!

 

[other2other1]

I just came across this thread for the first time. Amazing, I love that everyone is being vulnerable.

As someone who is on medication for depression and who fights to get out of bed in the morning or fall asleep in the evening. May I encourage each of you to keep going.

Depression sucks, and the thoughts of everyone around you being better off ignore it. I fight with that every damm day, trying to see my worth, pulling myself away from everyone around me while inside screaming for someone to interact with me and just give me some hope.

Self-doubt, lack of confidence, the physical reactions of shaking and panic that you are going to be outed as someone with depression, those of you who struggle will feel what I am saying.

Like the week before, my week has sucked; I have lacked focus; I have broken down at least three times this week and I found myself babbling incessantly several times for no reason. The tears when they come are always when I am by myself and this week I have just wanted to run away, make someone miss me, and pray that the anguish would end.

If you're feeling like I am from what I said above, and you want to explode at someone, send me an email or a DM. let it out because I get it. I truly do. I don't know if I can help, because our depressions are all personal. But if it can help I am willing to be a sounding board.

Thank you for letting me rant on this thread; I know just writing this for the past few minutes has helped, and I hope, in return, this helps you.

 

[Bassytian]

^ Yes, keep fighting. It does pass, today has been the best day I've had in a week so hopefully your day is coming soon.

I'm so sorry to hear that. You are great!

Thank you, and so are you and everyone going through this. As I said, I had a better day today. The pain I've described in my back, neck, and shoulders is largely gone too, so that shows it was a result of the mental anguish.

My biggest problem has always been seeking validation from others, even as a child. I never got it from my dad, other kids in school, girls in school and eventually women as I grew up, or coworkers. The fact that I've ever had a girlfriend at all shocks me, but that's a story for another time. Most importantly, I never got validation from myself, that's the one I truly need to work on.

My dad has been dead for 20 years, I will likely never see the vast majority of the people I went to school with, and other adults are not obligated to acknowledge me, so I only have myself to seek validation from.

 

[cutcrystal]

^ Yes, keep fighting. It does pass, today has been the best day I've had in a week so hopefully your day is coming soon.


Thank you, and so are you and everyone going through this. As I said, I had a better day today. The pain I've described in my back, neck, and shoulders is largely gone too, so that shows it was a result of the mental anguish.

My biggest problem has always been seeking validation from others, even as a child. I never got it from my dad, other kids in school, girls in school and eventually women as I grew up, or coworkers. The fact that I've ever had a girlfriend at all shocks me, but that's a story for another time. Most importantly, I never got validation from myself, that's the one I truly need to work on.

My dad has been dead for 20 years, I will likely never see the vast majority of the people I went to school with, and other adults are not obligated to acknowledge me, so I only have myself to seek validation from.

You could have been talking about me as well as yourself. "You can't even"..., worthless, useless, stupid, thick, incapable were my family of origin and school messages. And at secondary school add - ridicule, humiliation, "loathsome" and "keep away from me".

Late parents abandoned me to the abuse at secondary school and did nothing, did not protect me.

So the validation I got was from my wonderful uncle and my two fabulous grandmothers. And great as that was it was not enough, as it just covered "pockets" of my existence. Later, in 12 Step Fellowships, I finally had people validating me, holistically.

I have reached a point when I like validation when it comes my way. Although I no longer seek it generally, I do in one area -connecting/developing/sustaining relationships.