Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Bassytian]

You could have been talking about me as well as yourself. "You can't even"..., worthless, useless, stupid, thick, incapable were my family of origin and school messages. And at secondary school add - ridicule, humiliation, "loathsome" and "keep away from me".

Late parents abandoned me to the abuse at secondary school and did nothing, did not protect me.

So the validation I got was from my wonderful uncle and my two fabulous grandmothers. And great as that was it was not enough, as it just covered "pockets" of my existence. Later, in 12 Step Fellowships, I finally had people validating me, holistically.

I have reached a point when I like validation when it comes my way. Although I no longer seek it generally, I do in one area -connecting/developing/sustaining relationships.

Yeah, quite similar to me, you're right. I have been researching self-validation and have seen things about "healing your inner child". I'll give it a shot.

 

[cutcrystal]

Yeah, quite similar to me, you're right. I have been researching self-validation and have seen things about "healing your inner child". I'll give it a shot.

I can recommend that approach as it worked for me.

 

[Bassytian]

I can recommend that approach as it worked for me.

Go on. I would say "PM it to me" but it may be helpful to others as well.

 

[Deleted member 6810551]

I want my meds increased. I'm circling the black hole, and it's scary...

 

[ConfusinglyDelerious]

Oh no... wait... Is the crave for validation why those of us who write, get excited when the little number gets high?

I don't want to investigate this thought too closely.

 

[cutcrystal]

Healing the Shame Which Binds You - John Bradshaw. Recovery of Your Inner Child - Lucia Cappachione.

 

[cutcrystal]

Oh no... wait... Is the crave for validation why those of us who write, get excited when the little number gets high?

I don't want to investigate this thought too closely.

Yes Sir, writing too.

 

[cutcrystal]

Go on. I would say "PM it to me" but it may be helpful to others as well.

Healing the Shame That Binds You - John Bradshaw. Recovery of Your Inner Child - Lucia Cappachione.

 

[jsmiam]

Honestly, the "big three" are what helped me: physical activity, diet and rest.

Get enough REST. Not just sleep but time spent looking at a tree. NOT YOUR SCREEN. Resting on a park bench and looking at clouds.

Move your body. Walk. Dance when you vacuum. Fuck. Do 20 pushups, It doesn't matter. Be ACTIVE.

Eat a basically good DIET heavy in lean protein like tuna, tofu, lentils, chicken, eggs, etc. and veggies. Fucking stir fry frozen walmart brand veggies in vegetable oil and soy sauce. Eat veggies and protein and a little carb like mashed potatoes or rice.

Also, be social!! Your depression tells you to avoid people so as to not be a burden to them. The devil is a liar. Community kills depression. Be social as much as you can tolerate.

You're not broken or useless. Nobody hates you. The devil is a liar. Stay here.

As a mental health professional I cannot stress how wise this advice is. Your rundown is not only supported by science, you list things anyone can test out and verify for themselves. Sometimes it's the little things that add up to big things. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

Somebody has to say this:

1. While this isn’t bad advice (what could be bad about improving health?), it’s not exactly good either

2. Because it could be misinterpreted by a certain demographic as saying “depression isn’t real, pull that chin up.” (I do realize that this isn’t what the folks in these quotes were saying, and I’m not here to start an argument. However, i am focusing on the easily misinterpreted aspect of it.)

So yes, improving health certainly is helpful for everyone. Everyone meaning everyone, people suffering from depression, people not suffering from depression, short, tall, freckles, no freckles, big parts, little parts (you didn’t think I’d leave that out, right?) whatever.

But depression is an illness. if someone suffers major symptoms of depression, hopelessness, mood disorders, etc., treating it should include seeing doctors, trying various medicines, sometimes over and over) until finding the one that works best with the fewest side effects.

Getting healthier certainly is on the list of things that might help. Why not try it?

But “can’t hurt/might help some people” and “cures a complex illness” are two very different things.

 

[Bassytian]

Healing the Shame That Binds You - John Bradshaw. Recovery of Your Inner Child - Lucia Cappachione.

I will take a look at them, thanks!

 

[ConfusinglyDelerious]

Yes Sir, writing too.

Sir. I came here to read horny posts, not to reflect. I do not like this.

 

[cutcrystal]

Basic self care is indeed a help. Though in my own experience without long term meds I would be far worse off. Damage done to me was beyond my body's capacity to deal with, so meds have been essential since I was 28, and I am now 65.

 

[cutcrystal]

I will take a look at them, thanks!

You're welcome.

 

[Bassytian]

I want my meds increased. I'm circling the black hole, and it's scary...

Do try to hold on until you can speak with your doctor. You're not alone, you can do this!

 

[cutcrystal]

I want my meds increased. I'm circling the black hole, and it's scary...

Reach out here and consult your doctor.

 

[bws1]

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and panic and anxiety disorder about 30 years ago and I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that some days it was a struggle to get out of bed or put one foot in front of the other. A dear friend of mine sent me this meme that has helped me through some pretty dark times.

 

[BornNorCal]

But depression is an illness. if someone suffers major symptoms of depression, hopelessness, mood disorders, etc., treating it should include seeing doctors, trying various medicines, sometimes over and over) until finding the one that works best with the fewest side effects.

Getting healthier certainly is on the list of things that might help. Why not try it?

But “can’t hurt/might help some people” and “cures a complex illness” are two very different things.


You are absolutely correct and aren't starting any fights by your comment. Research continues to show that regular therapy AND closely monitored psychotropic medication creates the best possible outcomes. Everything else the wonderful people in this thread have suggested will only help build skills and increase feelings of power and control, which are also vital.

 

[RachelWalsh]

I hope anybody needing help gets it! Things do get better

 

[Bassytian]

Medicine has only ever made my depression worse. I have tried many different kinds and all of them made me suicidal, with two near attempts that I backed out of at the last minute. Without medication, I get depressed but never suicidial.

That is not to discourage people that do take it. If it helps then good, keep taking it! But as for me, they only seem to make things worse.

 

[RachelWalsh]

Medicine has only ever made my depression worse. I have tried many different kinds and all of them made me suicidal, with two near attempts that I backed out of at the last minute. Without medication, I get depressed but never suicidial.

That is not to discourage people that do take it. If it helps then good, keep taking it! But as for me, they only seem to make things worse.

I am sorry the hear. It can get better. Please PM if you like .

 

[Bassytian]

I am sorry the hear. It can get better. Please PM if you like .

I may do that, thanks. But not tonight, I take medicine to help me sleep, otherwise I’ll be up until two hours before I go to work, and it’s starting to make typing this message difficult. I may do that tomorrow though.

 

[RachelWalsh]

I may do that, thanks. But not tonight, I take medicine to help me sleep, otherwise I’ll be up until two hours before I go to work, and it’s starting to make typing this message difficult. I may do that tomorrow though.

I am here. Sleep well sweetie

 

[cutcrystal]

I may do that, thanks. But not tonight, I take medicine to help me sleep, otherwise I’ll be up until two hours before I go to work, and it’s starting to make typing this message difficult. I may do that tomorrow though.

I agree that meds do not always help. Mirtazapine works for me. However, that was the last of a long line of meds which didn't work. Side effects made the failures intolerable to me : nausea, insomnia, suicidal ideation (and a failed attempt), feeling like a zombie, frightening nightmares, diarrhoea, mania, vomiting. My system didn't tolerate a lot of meds types. St John's Wort didn't help either. Though a supplement called 5HTP at one point did save my life. It contains an amino acid Tryptophan which the brain uses to make the Serotonin it needs - and whilst that too can have side effects that make it intolerable, I experienced none. A book may assist you with info on 5HTP. Will post the title soon...

CC

 

[cutcrystal]

I may do that, thanks. But not tonight, I take medicine to help me sleep, otherwise I’ll be up until two hours before I go to work, and it’s starting to make typing this message difficult. I may do that tomorrow though.

5HTP The Natural Way to Overcome Depression, Obesity and Insomnia. By Michael Murray ND.

I forgot to mention that the failed medications all gave me anxiety I didn't have before I took them.

CC

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I can tell you, as someone who used to help run a support group, that most "alternative methods" are bollocks. The body is more complex than we think. If one thing is out of whack, it can affect the mood. A lot of it has to do with a delicious combination of genetics and trauma. But in the end, it's a medical problem just like any other chronic ailment.

Having said that, I will tell you that I have been through over thirty medications and some other procedures that people may think we don't do anymore. It was very hard to get a grip on it and try to stem suicidal ideation that was getting worse with age. A lot of medications didn't work, or if they did work, they had terrible, terrible side effects. Or, they didn't work AND had terrible, terrible side effects.

Talk therapy meaningfully helped me. Being in group therapy with some kind people helped me. Being with a doctor who listened and cared helped me. There are many, many kinds of therapy. You do not have to just sit on a couch and complain. The therapist is not your enemy. Most therapists want you to control what goes down so that you can help yourself feel better in the way that works for you.

In the end, though, it's up to the individual as to how they proceed. For me, it was very, very important that I not constantly feel like I wanted to die, so I made it a priority, and tentatively, I am under better medical care than I've ever received. Patience is a huge part of this. I have seen dozens of practitioners over the years. I was hospitalized several times. I had plans of "unsubscribing" from life. I went through a lot. A lot.

But now I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. It isn't always going to be the same. Sometimes things are better. Sometimes they are worse. They never stay the same. That is the point of human life.

Please, look for help, and don't give up.