Depression. It's a silent killer.

[Plasmaball]

The last year or so has been a series of ups and downs but for the most part I’ve been able to enjoy my life.
I keep very close tabs my self care and have been doing a lot of shadow work on my past traumas. I know there’s a technical name for it, I don’t remember it.

I ask because that's how I got out of my fog for about 95% of it. I still fear and hate the idea of dying. I can never let go of that but the rest? I enjoy life too much to get sad over it. What used to last weeks now lasts minutes to am hour or so.

I'm not saying it would work for everyone, but it's like a switch in my head went off.

There is a little more to it.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hey all. I’m giving this a bump. I think it needs to be seen. There are people out there that need to know they’re not alone.
Love you

 

[ConfusinglyDelerious]

In case anyone needs to hear this right now...

One day, you're gonna realize that food tastes like something again, and isn't just some ritual on your to-do list of things you force yourself to do each day. You'll realize that hey, that sunset looks pretty damn beautiful. You'll actually find something you want to watch on Netflix, instead of scrolling endlessly through things and not picking anything. And you'll feel that you actually want to clean up the mess you're surrounded by.
And that's when you'll know that you've made it through another one, and that things might not be gray and drab and pointless again some day in the future.

It gets better.
Can't guarantee you that it wont get worse again.
But you've made it through every single one of the worst days of your life so far. You can make it through these ones too.

 

[daddyssarah]

Honestly, the "big three" are what helped me: physical activity, diet and rest.

Get enough REST. Not just sleep but time spent looking at a tree. NOT YOUR SCREEN. Resting on a park bench and looking at clouds.

Move your body. Walk. Dance when you vacuum. Fuck. Do 20 pushups, It doesn't matter. Be ACTIVE.

Eat a basically good DIET heavy in lean protein like tuna, tofu, lentils, chicken, eggs, etc. and veggies. Fucking stir fry frozen walmart brand veggies in vegetable oil and soy sauce. Eat veggies and protein and a little carb like mashed potatoes or rice.

Also, be social!! Your depression tells you to avoid people so as to not be a burden to them. The devil is a liar. Community kills depression. Be social as much as you can tolerate.

You're not broken or useless. Nobody hates you. The devil is a liar. Stay here.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

I've been on the cusp for a while. I struggle with depression more days than not. Being a source of support to people means a lot to me, especially helping people who are going through rough times.

But I feel so, so empty.

I've spent the last four years (after a traumatic event) consciously examining my life and if it is one worth continuing. The struggle with the desire to "unsubscribe" is constant. Sometimes it gets better, but with the hardship I've encountered lately, it's starting to spiral again. I have no one to confide in. There is no one.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, to anyone in a bad spot tonight, you are not alone. I suffer with you. Please take solace and comfort in that, even if I can't offer much to myself.

 

[daddyssarah]

I've been on the cusp for a while. I struggle with depression more days than not. Being a source of support to people means a lot to me, especially helping people who are going through rough times.

But I feel so, so empty.

I've spent the last four years (after a traumatic event) consciously examining my life and if it is one worth continuing. The struggle with the desire to "unsubscribe" is constant. Sometimes it gets better, but with the hardship I've encountered lately, it's starting to spiral again. I have no one to confide in. There is no one.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, to anyone in a bad spot tonight, you are not alone. I suffer with you. Please take solace and comfort in that, even if I can't offer much to myself.

 

[dreamysub]

I wanna share with you something that happened to me yesterday morning. I slept at my Dom's house, woke up earlier than him, so I took a shower and then I was browsing facebook to kill the time till he wakes up. I woke up in alright mood, but then I saw this post on facebook about relationships and it immediately took me on downer, cuz it got me thinking about the relationship I have with my bf and the way things are between us and it got me so bloody depressed I couldn't stop crying. Which would be okay if I was at my place as they are kinda used to me being this teary mess, but I was with my Dom and I felt so ashamed I get like this when I was with him. I've spent an hour hiding and crying in the bathroom and then I went quietly back to bed, so I wouldn't wake him up. I lay down next to him and covered my face with my blanket, cuz I refused him to see I was crying. He woke up, went for a pee and when he came back he told me to look at him. I told him I won't. I couldn't. I just wanted bloody dissapear. He lay down next to me and gently pulled the blanket away from my face. There was no way to hide I was crying now. He asked me what's bothering me. I told him I woke up bloody depressed and refused to talk more about it, because if I did I would just cry even more. He gently kissed me, pulled me into his arms and held me like that until I stoped crying and shaking. He didn't say a word, but there was so much love and care in the way he held me and how he stroked my hair. So much calmness and such desire to soothe me and make me smile again. Guess his hugs and care was exactely what I needed at that point. I felt so safe in his arms that I nodded off in a whwhile. When I woke up I was still in his arms and I felt much better. I am not sure if he realises how much it meant to me what he did, but I did tell him.

I am telling you all this, because I know how easy it is to get down when you struggle with depression. I gotta be careful what I read, what music I listen to, what people I surround myself with, but even that doesnt help sometimes. Sometimes I simply wake up and feel like this and theres no good explanation for it. My middle daughter jokin about it sometimes telling my other two daughters that their mom ALWAYS cry. I am not mad at her, cuz its kinda true. They don't get it and I honestly hope they will never feel this way! You might be alright one minute and the other everything feels like whats the point of living like this. It sucks. When my bf sees me cry - he leaves. No hug, nothing. He can't stand my tears. A HUG can do so much for people who suffer from depression in my opinion. My Dominant might not realise that, but what he did meant the world to me. Wish all of you had someone like that in your life. Someone who is ready to love you a little harder on the days when you feel down and give you that "It's gonna be alright" kind of hug. Have someone like THAT in your life is priceless! I am that kind of person to others, but sadly even the givers need someone to be there for them every now and then and I am glad thats what my Dominant did. I will never forget that.

Hope you all find yourself someone who doesn't judge or ask stupid questions why you feel the way that you feel, but simply is there for you instead. I think it's soooo important so everyone has "someone".

 

[Wetkitty09]

I’m keeping it up there.
I hope it’s helping and maybe getting some connections made.
Be safe out there. Love you.

 

[GeorgiaJDaddy]

I dealt with depression and anxiety for years without knowing that I was suffering from something treatable. It caused me all kinds of problems personally and professionally. When I hit my bottom I wound up with a compassionate and well trained psychiatrist. After much counseling, and taking the time to find my proper medication, I rebounded. Life still has many obstacles and I certainly hit some down times, but I have tools to help me now and I have a belief that I can get through it.
If anyone needs to chat, it's amazing how much it can help to have someone who just listens without judging and who offers empathy.

 

[RainierWriterII]

Thanks to those offering encouragement on this thread. This community can be truly amazing at times.

I've been fortunate to meet one astoundingly supportive person who has been a rock for me. We have never met and never will. I doubt she has any idea how much her consistent communication means to me, but it truly means the world.

Life is hard, but worth living. Best wishes to all.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Time to give this another bump.
Be safe out there and I’m always available to chat.
Love you.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Here we go again.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Something I heard recently reminded me that when I was in the deep dark the idea of calling the hotline just seemed abhorrent.
It wasn’t because I felt like I would burden those people because that’s why they put themselves there. Certainly not because I thought it was useless because they help lots of people that reach out to them.
It was because I was simply too tired of dealing with the shit I was dealing with to have to tell someone else about the shit I was dealing with.
What I needed was someone to sit in the dark with me and just be there. I was lucky enough to find someone who could do that for me.
I have been able to do that for him as well.

I’m hoping this thread helps people find others who understand the dark and can be there when needed.

Love you all.

 

[Desiree_Radcliffe]

Love and best to everyone as well. My best wishes for those who are struggling.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Time to give this a bump again.
I will keep kicking this up as long as I can. I feel that even if people don’t post on it someone may read the comments and know they’re not struggling alone.
Be safe out there. Love you.

 

[saintcero]

I recently began addressing my depression. Tried meds but side effects made me stop them. Tried therapy with and without meds with only marginal benefit. Quit drinking alcohol. I still absolutely hate myself. The only thing that has helped is to remind myself to live in the present and that there are two people on this earth that I can believe in.

Everybody hang in there

 

[summer_reine]

I've heard it all my life, 'it will get better.' Except that depression robs you of the ability to hope, it steals passion, and sinks your mind with lies. Because of this it was impossible to believe or find comfort in those words.

What helped me was the day my best friend asked me to stay just one more day. Now if I feel like I can't move and nothing changes and no one cares I remember to go just one more day.

And it really has gotten better, a lot better.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

Just realized that post #25 in this thread was one I made over five years ago (under a different username). Just to repeat and update:

I have battled depression and anxiety for over 35 years. Although stable now for some years, there have been some extremely low points. Including hospitalization, shock treatments, the works. Thankful for a savvy and long time psych who has me on a good treatment of medications.

I agree completely about those childhood experiences. Took me a long time to understand that I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and that was laying beneath my emotions for many years.

This is a real and terrible experience to go through and I hope the best for everyone here who has/is experiencing it.

 

[Wetkitty09]

Hey all. Time to bump this up again.
It’s trite an cliche but the world is a better place for you being in it.
Love you. Stay safe out there.

 

[Wetkitty09]

It’s time to bump again. I came across this interview with Jim Carrey. I’m not sure how I feel about it. What are your thoughts?

 

[Wetkitty09]

Giving this a bump.
You all be safe out there. I’m thinking about you.

 

[saintcero]

Giving this a bump.
You all be safe out there. I’m thinking about you.

You stay safe too WK.

 

[Wetkitty09]

You stay safe too WK.

Thank you. I’m doing my best. Just like everyone else.

 

[kinkincguy]

Thanks for this thread. It is appreciated

 

[Wetkitty09]

Morning all and I hope you enjoyed your weekend.
Giving this a bump.
I don’t know about you but I have issues with the holidays and we are moving into that season.
I’m here if you need to vent, or a connection.
Be safe out there. Love you.