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I fully expect Depression to kill me off in the future, it just never goes away.
Depression. It's a silent killer.
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wallstreetguy
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Terrible
I came upon this thread by accident but I am so sad for those of you suffering from this terrible killer. Deep past and near past experiences that hurt you so much.
I honestly wish I could sit down and have a drink with each of you and listen and put my arm around you and tell you it will get better.
Keep your collective chins up. Please be well. There is a beautiful life out there for each and every one of you. Do not let this affliction take over. Life is too good for that to happen.
I came upon this thread by accident but I am so sad for those of you suffering from this terrible killer. Deep past and near past experiences that hurt you so much.
I honestly wish I could sit down and have a drink with each of you and listen and put my arm around you and tell you it will get better.
Keep your collective chins up. Please be well. There is a beautiful life out there for each and every one of you. Do not let this affliction take over. Life is too good for that to happen.
idkhowihadsex
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This is how I look at depressive thoughts (about grief in particular but kinda works for other types of depressive triggers too) though it hasn't always worked out:
Think of all your negative thoughts as a big ball in a small box.
If you experience new things or try to while time passes, your new experiences and time team up together to make the big ball smaller and the small box bigger.
Sometimes the box gets tilted and your ball (negative feelings, thoughts etc) hits the edges of the box. Sometimes you get used to it and sometimes you don't. But both the ball and the box are always still there.
Now though I know what I have to do to not feel shitty, depressive episodes throw your mind out of whack and you mostly forget all this but I am trying to remember this more. Currently, I am set on learning how to play the guitar to not think about shit all the time, which was an idea that I got from someone who was kind enough to lend me an ear here.
Just hang in there people, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Think of all your negative thoughts as a big ball in a small box.
If you experience new things or try to while time passes, your new experiences and time team up together to make the big ball smaller and the small box bigger.
Sometimes the box gets tilted and your ball (negative feelings, thoughts etc) hits the edges of the box. Sometimes you get used to it and sometimes you don't. But both the ball and the box are always still there.
Now though I know what I have to do to not feel shitty, depressive episodes throw your mind out of whack and you mostly forget all this but I am trying to remember this more. Currently, I am set on learning how to play the guitar to not think about shit all the time, which was an idea that I got from someone who was kind enough to lend me an ear here.
Just hang in there people, there's light at the end of the tunnel.
filt
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I know where you’re coming from mate. I know if I go back to my darkest time, I don’t believe I’d survive it twice.
That said, life is worth fighting for as long as we can. There is a handful of people you meet that make it feel like the world is a better place.
If you ever want a chat, you’re welcome to message. I can’t help but I can relate. Anything shared is in total confidence.
Just don’t throw in the towel.
nyguy1980
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I think coming here helps a lot of people. I think people writing their thoughts definitely can help them address some of their issues.
Depression can hit anyone and at any time. I think it is such a hard topic to talk about though. Most of us would just say, oh its just a feeling, get over it, but deep down side it is a lingering pain, something that never goes away.
Someone mentioned childhood issues. I think that is a big key to it. We all should spend some time thinking about the past and seeing what went right and what went wrong.
I don't think I have a true answer, but at least that is my suggestion, just keep looking for an answer and do not let the darkness overwhelm you.
Depression can hit anyone and at any time. I think it is such a hard topic to talk about though. Most of us would just say, oh its just a feeling, get over it, but deep down side it is a lingering pain, something that never goes away.
Someone mentioned childhood issues. I think that is a big key to it. We all should spend some time thinking about the past and seeing what went right and what went wrong.
I don't think I have a true answer, but at least that is my suggestion, just keep looking for an answer and do not let the darkness overwhelm you.
SteelPoint
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I realise fully this is going off the point but thought it might be worth just a mention.
Some of the darker areas of the psyche, of which suicidal/self-harm thinking is one, get barely a line or two here on Literotica from the creative viewpoint. Understandably perhaps, writers view that kind of thing as a distraction from the erotic content of their stories and so 'what need is there for it?'.
Well, yes, in and of itself 'dark mentality' need have no great connection with the sex drive but I am surprised that writers don't put it to greater use in terms of both the settings and the plots of stories. For better or worse, we have to face the fact that it is part of human existence and very likely to play a part in many 'crimes passionels', for example.
Some of the darker areas of the psyche, of which suicidal/self-harm thinking is one, get barely a line or two here on Literotica from the creative viewpoint. Understandably perhaps, writers view that kind of thing as a distraction from the erotic content of their stories and so 'what need is there for it?'.
Well, yes, in and of itself 'dark mentality' need have no great connection with the sex drive but I am surprised that writers don't put it to greater use in terms of both the settings and the plots of stories. For better or worse, we have to face the fact that it is part of human existence and very likely to play a part in many 'crimes passionels', for example.
ScottishLass74
Experienced
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Sufferer here
I'm finding it strangely hard to write this post.
I've written it and deleted it 4 times.
I come from a family that has mental health issues through the generations and in fact my main problems are a result of trauma inflicted on me through out my childhood. I witnessed my mothers attempted hanging. My uncle went on a psychotic rampage stabbed 3 family members then held my family hostage before killing himself infromt of us. So it's no surprise that the 4 children who witnessed that all have mental health issues as adults
My younger brother and myself both have been diagnosed with PTSD, my older brother has chronic depression, my other older brother hanged himself the day after his 21st birthday.
So today so far has been okay and I think yesterday wasn't to bad either. But I now can recognise my dips and triggers and will pick up the phone and reach out and say I'm not so good today, help!!
And this is what I wanted to say, please talk to someone I know how dark, dank and horrible life can be sometimes but there is always someone you can reach out to. Build that support network, don't feel embarrassed that your bothering people, trust me when your gone it's to late and the people left behind say to each other I wish they had just talked to us about it.
All my love and support to those struggling.
If you need an understanding ear send me a PM here or kik Grumpygurl74
Lesley
I'm finding it strangely hard to write this post.
I've written it and deleted it 4 times.
I come from a family that has mental health issues through the generations and in fact my main problems are a result of trauma inflicted on me through out my childhood. I witnessed my mothers attempted hanging. My uncle went on a psychotic rampage stabbed 3 family members then held my family hostage before killing himself infromt of us. So it's no surprise that the 4 children who witnessed that all have mental health issues as adults
My younger brother and myself both have been diagnosed with PTSD, my older brother has chronic depression, my other older brother hanged himself the day after his 21st birthday.
So today so far has been okay and I think yesterday wasn't to bad either. But I now can recognise my dips and triggers and will pick up the phone and reach out and say I'm not so good today, help!!
And this is what I wanted to say, please talk to someone I know how dark, dank and horrible life can be sometimes but there is always someone you can reach out to. Build that support network, don't feel embarrassed that your bothering people, trust me when your gone it's to late and the people left behind say to each other I wish they had just talked to us about it.
All my love and support to those struggling.
If you need an understanding ear send me a PM here or kik Grumpygurl74
Lesley
BBWSeekingSugarDaddy
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Reviving this thread, because mental health struggles are real and we need more of this in the world today. 
EmpressV
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Reviving this thread, because mental health struggles are real and we need more of this in the world today.
Bless you for doing so.
BBW_T&A_Lover
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I was clinically depressed in 2003. It was awful. I literally felt like something was wrong with me. The funniest show in the world to be on TV and I would cry for no reason. I can't go outside my apartment if there were people outside and I had to interact with them. Eventually I was put on meds and that really did help a lot. It kind of sucks now because I'm alone and not with anybody. I think not having someone there really makes it come out more then it used to. I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be
FatChick4Erotica
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Depression is a slippery devil...
Depression is a slippery devil that pulls you in and wants to hold on to you. It makes getting up hard and enjoying anything in even harder. Everything seems grey and nothing bring joy anymore. Sometimes it pulls you so far into the depths that you never want to return.
If this rings true to you then welcome to the club. It is a club that no one wants to join but many do regardless.
For some the road out is suicide, for others medication helps, and for the rest of us a lot of hard work and self reflection is the only path back to the light.
The things that work for me are routine, exercise, knowing my triggers and how to respond, and most importantly self care (I.e. long drives with good music, hot relaxing showers, gardening and most importantly cuddling my cats and dog).
Unless you have heard the siren call and been lured into the grey tunnel you cannot truly understand the depths of hell that await you when you slide to the bottom of the depression well. May you all find your way to the light.
Depression is a slippery devil that pulls you in and wants to hold on to you. It makes getting up hard and enjoying anything in even harder. Everything seems grey and nothing bring joy anymore. Sometimes it pulls you so far into the depths that you never want to return.
If this rings true to you then welcome to the club. It is a club that no one wants to join but many do regardless.
For some the road out is suicide, for others medication helps, and for the rest of us a lot of hard work and self reflection is the only path back to the light.
The things that work for me are routine, exercise, knowing my triggers and how to respond, and most importantly self care (I.e. long drives with good music, hot relaxing showers, gardening and most importantly cuddling my cats and dog).
Unless you have heard the siren call and been lured into the grey tunnel you cannot truly understand the depths of hell that await you when you slide to the bottom of the depression well. May you all find your way to the light.
BBWSeekingSugarDaddy
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This is perfection, because it is 100% truth.
Easyvirtue
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Reviving this thread, because mental health struggles are real and we need more of this in the world today.
You are strong and so freaking beautiful. Please, please knkw you are an amazing human being and struggles suck but the strength to push past is your true super power!!!
LikeableMe
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Seeing as this has been revived, I will add that I am currently suffering with depression. I’ve always had it in a mild form and could lift myself out of it, but right now I am struggling. I wish it wasn’t the case, but unfortunately it is right now, and I lost the one person who could make me smile, no matter how bad I felt. It’s tough.
Matt12191982
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I lost the most important person in my life recently, but was struggling with issues before, and for quite a while. I don't expect I'll ever get out of this hole unless someone helps me.
bouldghirl
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I’ve been there. I try to stay positive but I’m too much of a realist to fool myself. I do try not to let the negative side of things dominate. I hope that others here can do the same.
This is a subject we SHOULD be talking about and supporting others as well. Been there...and it SUCKED! Spent a week curled up in a ball...not caring if I lived or died. I will NEVER EVER go back there! I simply will not allow it! I guess I developed ways to ease the symptoms that work for me.
Desiree_Radcliffe
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I am so sorry to hear that. That can be difficult. I had a similar experience. In the end, though, you have to be the one who helps yourself. I say this as someone who has struggled with mental health my whole life. Sending the best vibes your way.
fishnfool
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Buddy, I obviously don’t know you, but your post touched me. There is no shame in asking for help. While I have never been in your shoes, I know people who have. I know people that have been helped by therapy. I hope you find the help you need.
dreamysub
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I think the worst thing about depression is that I constantly feel like walking on the very edge of a dark abbys, not knowing if or when I am gonna slip back in. Or when someone simply gonna push me down there, as it only takes so little...
I don't wanna understand people who did give up this fight and kill them selvs, but I do. I don't wanna understand people who can't see the light on the brightest beautiful sunny days, but I do. I don't wanna feel like theres no happy ending for me in this life, but I do. So yes, depression suck! Some days more than the others. I can be happy one day and feel totally down the next. Sometimes it's a matter of seconds, not even days. The happiness never lasts. It simply never lasts. I sort of feel like burst hose. You can feel the happiness, but you as well feel it's leaking out. Fast.
It's a daily battle how to stay happy and positive about things. About life in global. Theres days when I am grateful for simple things like a smile of a person I love, or for another beautiful sunny day, or for the gentle breeze on my face. And then theres days when I feel sooo out of reach and none of it efects me anymore. I see the sun, but it no longer makes me smile. I feel nothing and wanna do nothing. And I feel simply so fucking lost and empty and ask myself whats the point of living life feeling like this? So yes, I understand. Wish I didn't though, as it scares me I understand people who did commit suicide.
Hope you all find enough inner strenght within you to keep fighting this neverending battle. Find yourself a lighthouse to shine on your way, whatever or whomever it might be. Do what you need to do to be happy and keep fighting! But mosty, never EVER give up!!
Well, thats what I am trying to do every single day anyways. The antidepressants does help with it a bit.
BIG HUGS to all of you!!
I don't wanna understand people who did give up this fight and kill them selvs, but I do. I don't wanna understand people who can't see the light on the brightest beautiful sunny days, but I do. I don't wanna feel like theres no happy ending for me in this life, but I do. So yes, depression suck! Some days more than the others. I can be happy one day and feel totally down the next. Sometimes it's a matter of seconds, not even days. The happiness never lasts. It simply never lasts. I sort of feel like burst hose. You can feel the happiness, but you as well feel it's leaking out. Fast.
It's a daily battle how to stay happy and positive about things. About life in global. Theres days when I am grateful for simple things like a smile of a person I love, or for another beautiful sunny day, or for the gentle breeze on my face. And then theres days when I feel sooo out of reach and none of it efects me anymore. I see the sun, but it no longer makes me smile. I feel nothing and wanna do nothing. And I feel simply so fucking lost and empty and ask myself whats the point of living life feeling like this? So yes, I understand. Wish I didn't though, as it scares me I understand people who did commit suicide.
Hope you all find enough inner strenght within you to keep fighting this neverending battle. Find yourself a lighthouse to shine on your way, whatever or whomever it might be. Do what you need to do to be happy and keep fighting! But mosty, never EVER give up!!
Well, thats what I am trying to do every single day anyways. The antidepressants does help with it a bit.
BIG HUGS to all of you!!
inadequate
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I've been fighting it for the majority of my life. Therapy is helping. I feel like I'm starting to see a path where I can finally get past it, but it's not going to be easy.
Wetkitty09
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This thread needs to stay on top.
I struggle with depression. It’s been good lately. I see a therapist on a monthly basis. I started out seeing a therapist weekly. Medication doesn’t help me. It only makes the suicidal thoughts worse so I only have therapy and self care to get me through.
I say it’s been good but there’s a part of me that knows that it only takes a small push and I will be slipping back into the dark again.
I’m 56. I’ve struggled with this beast most of my life. It has taken what should have been of the best times of my life and turned them grey.
It’s never too late to get help. Don’t give up. Don’t let that beast win.
I struggle with depression. It’s been good lately. I see a therapist on a monthly basis. I started out seeing a therapist weekly. Medication doesn’t help me. It only makes the suicidal thoughts worse so I only have therapy and self care to get me through.
I say it’s been good but there’s a part of me that knows that it only takes a small push and I will be slipping back into the dark again.
I’m 56. I’ve struggled with this beast most of my life. It has taken what should have been of the best times of my life and turned them grey.
It’s never too late to get help. Don’t give up. Don’t let that beast win.
Desiree_Radcliffe
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As someone who struggles with mental health issues and has for my lifespan, one of the best pieces of advice I can offer you is to take breaks from here. I know that can sound odd, especially if you've developed connections here, but this is not a great place to go when you are feeling down.
Sometimes, shiny happy people can make you feel worse about yourself. And a lot of people here, I have found, are not very sympathetic to mental health issues when you are facing them. Either they don't get it, they find it amusing, or they just don't care. I've had guys try to manipulate me after I sang my soul to them. It can be a place for fun and breezy conversations, but it also has an unpleasant side, just like most social aspects.
I am here if anyone needs to talk. I have bipolar disorder, and it leans very, very hard into depression. I try to be a good source of support for other people. It's OK. Trust me, it will get better. The thing is, life fluctuates and is cyclical. The bad times don't last forever. Neither do the good times. But if you curtail your life, you will never have access to those wonderful things that make us human and alive.
Hang in there, everyone.
Sometimes, shiny happy people can make you feel worse about yourself. And a lot of people here, I have found, are not very sympathetic to mental health issues when you are facing them. Either they don't get it, they find it amusing, or they just don't care. I've had guys try to manipulate me after I sang my soul to them. It can be a place for fun and breezy conversations, but it also has an unpleasant side, just like most social aspects.
I am here if anyone needs to talk. I have bipolar disorder, and it leans very, very hard into depression. I try to be a good source of support for other people. It's OK. Trust me, it will get better. The thing is, life fluctuates and is cyclical. The bad times don't last forever. Neither do the good times. But if you curtail your life, you will never have access to those wonderful things that make us human and alive.
Hang in there, everyone.
Plasmaball
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Do you enjoy life?
I'm not being an ass here, it's a serious question. Do you enjoy the food, the music, laughing etc?
Wetkitty09
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The last year or so has been a series of ups and downs but for the most part I’ve been able to enjoy my life.
I keep very close tabs my self care and have been doing a lot of shadow work on my past traumas. I know there’s a technical name for it, I don’t remember it.
