Denial: Does It Work for You?
- Thread starter juicylips
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lovetoread
hello daddy
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I'll get back to you about it tomorrow.
Fly_On_Wall
Looking for the way
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like she said I'll tell you later
erosman
Literotica Guru
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Denial doesn't work for me. I think that I am not bright enough to buy into the temporary good feelings.
and, yes, the self-acceptance is an issue. I have heard it said, though, that if you say/think something often enough, you will begin to believe it.
morning, you thoughtful, JL
...I like that about myself, too.
and, yes, the self-acceptance is an issue. I have heard it said, though, that if you say/think something often enough, you will begin to believe it.
morning, you thoughtful, JL
...I like that about myself, too.
erosman said:Denial doesn't work for me. I think that I am not bright enough to buy into the temporary good feelings.
and, yes, the self-acceptance is an issue. I have heard it said, though, that if you say/think something often enough, you will begin to believe it.
morning, you thoughtful, JL
...I like that about myself, too.
Morning, sweet cheeks.
I like a lot of things about you.
JL
freescorfr
Awaiting autumn harvests
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There are, for me, two different dimensions of denial.
In terms of chores and work:
Denial is a useful tool in helping me to categorise priorities. Shoving something aside, be it a letter, a request, or a task is what I usually do when something feels uncomfortable or unappetising.
In fact, when I was running a school, it is how I prioritised and as teachers became more snowed under with paper-work, I suggested they did as I did, and prioritised by doing all the things they wanted to do and enjoyed doing first. My theory was that if something unpleasant was sufficiently important it would reappear, and reappear, and reappear until I wanted to pay it attention, if only to get rid of it.
This was remarkably difficult for many people, and some would get furious with me for only doing what I enjoyed doing - nearly all of the time. However, I was always fully occupied.
Others have said to me, many years on, that it was one of the best, and most liberating, suggestions they had ever heard.
In terms of emotional and behavioural denial - the real priorities come back and back, for ever. Anything uncomfortable in these domains I now treat as a priority: it is a matter of personal well-being. If I feel sad, or unhappy, or unloved, or full of desire, fear or disquiet, this takes priority over everything else. I don't do anything well if I have a strong feeling distracting me.
Denial seems to ampify any malaise, language - words, gestures and symbols - all give expression to my inner disquiets and tend to help me arrive at an inner calm.
Alcoholism is a rough terrain, and a tough training ground, for dealing with denial and erectile dysfunction.
In terms of chores and work:
Denial is a useful tool in helping me to categorise priorities. Shoving something aside, be it a letter, a request, or a task is what I usually do when something feels uncomfortable or unappetising.
In fact, when I was running a school, it is how I prioritised and as teachers became more snowed under with paper-work, I suggested they did as I did, and prioritised by doing all the things they wanted to do and enjoyed doing first. My theory was that if something unpleasant was sufficiently important it would reappear, and reappear, and reappear until I wanted to pay it attention, if only to get rid of it.
This was remarkably difficult for many people, and some would get furious with me for only doing what I enjoyed doing - nearly all of the time. However, I was always fully occupied.
Others have said to me, many years on, that it was one of the best, and most liberating, suggestions they had ever heard.
In terms of emotional and behavioural denial - the real priorities come back and back, for ever. Anything uncomfortable in these domains I now treat as a priority: it is a matter of personal well-being. If I feel sad, or unhappy, or unloved, or full of desire, fear or disquiet, this takes priority over everything else. I don't do anything well if I have a strong feeling distracting me.
Denial seems to ampify any malaise, language - words, gestures and symbols - all give expression to my inner disquiets and tend to help me arrive at an inner calm.
Alcoholism is a rough terrain, and a tough training ground, for dealing with denial and erectile dysfunction.
M
miles
Guest
I'm King of Denial.
android1966
Scribbler of Smut.
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I really like de Nile especially de valley of de kings.
riff
Jose Jones
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There is the denial of not being able to recall something that is remembered- a trauma or something. This is not a voluntary thing.
There is the denial of saying I don't want to look at that or deal with that right now. This is voluntary.
But everything denied comes back. And if you don't deal with things consciously, then you will deal with it unconsciously.
Awareness precedes choice.
Yes, JL. There comes a time when we all have to say, OK, I have dealt with this as best I can, but it is time to look away and ahead.
It's good when I can reach a point of looking at some of the things in my life that have caused me pain and I can get beyond sobbing in my pillow and I can look at things objectively without "reliving" the experiences.
I can only speak for myself. But so much of me has been predefined by my past experiences- I don't like that- because not all of them were good and without my knowing it, I have spent a great deal of my life living in the past when I thought I was in the present.
I have heard people say, "You can tell a lot about where someone is going by where they have been." If that's true, we all should hope to be doing something good. There is always a time to stop and look at the past and see how it determines the steps today. But there's also a time to walk and look around us and ahead.
But we should always be careful about what we choose to deny. And yes, there is a time when you just have to say, "Get over it."
There is the denial of saying I don't want to look at that or deal with that right now. This is voluntary.
But everything denied comes back. And if you don't deal with things consciously, then you will deal with it unconsciously.
Awareness precedes choice.
Yes, JL. There comes a time when we all have to say, OK, I have dealt with this as best I can, but it is time to look away and ahead.
It's good when I can reach a point of looking at some of the things in my life that have caused me pain and I can get beyond sobbing in my pillow and I can look at things objectively without "reliving" the experiences.
I can only speak for myself. But so much of me has been predefined by my past experiences- I don't like that- because not all of them were good and without my knowing it, I have spent a great deal of my life living in the past when I thought I was in the present.
I have heard people say, "You can tell a lot about where someone is going by where they have been." If that's true, we all should hope to be doing something good. There is always a time to stop and look at the past and see how it determines the steps today. But there's also a time to walk and look around us and ahead.
But we should always be careful about what we choose to deny. And yes, there is a time when you just have to say, "Get over it."
M
miles
Guest
weed said:
Now that's what I call denial.
Rambrat
Elusive
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juicylips said:We all have things that we'd rather not think about. We have that Scarlett O'Hara attitude about tomorrow.
What do you feel you need to accept and go on with in your life?
A broken relationship?
Self acceptance?
Tell me.
JL
You'd be surprised how many things I have to bury in the furthest reaches of my mind...
I'd would have never survived...or I'd be on some roof top doing a little target practice...
love ya
opps sorry...not supposed to say that...you have a thing about that don't you...
Re: No
Thank you, V
You must know I have a strong attraction to UK men.
JL
Viceman said:I dont deny anything, I confess to all,I admit to doing anything sexual, especially if it works.
I deny the fact that I think Juicylips is beautiful
Thank you, V
You must know I have a strong attraction to UK men.
JL
TigerClaw
Photorific
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Oh, God this will sound so bad.
I will say nothing.
Not because I have nothing to accept but I learned long ago to accept that I am not perfect and to live with it. After a certain point you realize yes you will always try to do better but you are human and will make mistakes. If someone can not accept it then it is their problem, not mine. But I do strive to over come any human weaknesses
I will say nothing.
Not because I have nothing to accept but I learned long ago to accept that I am not perfect and to live with it. After a certain point you realize yes you will always try to do better but you are human and will make mistakes. If someone can not accept it then it is their problem, not mine. But I do strive to over come any human weaknesses
Re: Oh, God this will sound so bad.
No, T, it doesn't sound bad. You just sound comfortable with yourself..flaws and all. Some of us are still wanting to make things perfect or be perfect. Easier to deny than to accept what we truly are.
So good to see you, sweetie. Kiss ltr for me....
JL
Tiger_n_NJ said:
No, T, it doesn't sound bad. You just sound comfortable with yourself..flaws and all. Some of us are still wanting to make things perfect or be perfect. Easier to deny than to accept what we truly are.
So good to see you, sweetie. Kiss ltr for me....
JL
punkrockpoet
Really Experienced
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Denial works onlt so much. Eventually you feel that you need to come to a higher level of understanding as a human being. At this point i find that it is most helpful to begin drinking. Heavily.
