deleting threads
- Thread starter Beck31
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KierstH12
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....................
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bailadora
We create the dreams.
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If that were the criteria, threads would be disappearing left and right, with the way some people get their knickers all in a twist. For a more accurate answer, see Eilan's reply above.
Eilan
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I think KierstH12's threads disappeared because they were violating the rules--or at least they appeared to be heading that way when I stepped away from the one she started on HT. That thread wasn't a How-To thread and shouldn't have been posted here in the first place. I didn't report it, but someone obviously did. *shrug*
LadyVer
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I had thought of deleting my classy older guy's pic request thread a while back. That's when I found out threads usually can't be deleted unless for a good reason. I appreciate the nice pics I've seen through the thread, but you wouldn't believe some of the background bs that goes along with a pic thread. For the most part, the guys have been pretty nice. There were just a few who annoyed the hell out of me and I don't see much of them anymore. Every once in a while I get a smart ass commenting or posting his weird pics...
bailadora
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Likely. I saw it but wasn't about to comment on that whole drama. I was merely pointing out to her that she probably didn't get deleted for the reason(s) she thinks she did.
SkyMoonAbove
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a mistake.
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SweetErika
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Very well said!
We can disagree with someone's actions while still being compassionate. We all deal with extreme emotions and circumstances in different ways. I wouldn't have posted such a thread, but I can appreciate that it might have been what she needed to do at the time and in the grand scheme of things, it was a pretty mild (re)action. I mean, it's not like she stalked and beat the bitch, slashed her tires or even posted her personal info.
Lord Pmann
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Such a fantastic statement. I understand having a go at people who just post ridiculous shit. But taking a stab at a girl who is obviously hurting... What the fuck is wrong with people?
That statement is aimed at SkyMoonAbove's bitch comment.
SkyMoonAbove
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i know, i'm just sooooo heartless.
to answer the actual question stated in this thread.....you can always contact the site and ask for the threads to be deleted and give a reason for having them deleted. they may not do it but it's worth a try.
Lord Pmann
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i know, i'm just sooooo heartless.
I didn't say you were heartless. I said you were a bitch. You have a heart of shit and splinters.
Bramblethorn
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I agreed with all of this right until the point where you called the other party a "bitch". That seems to run contrary to the rest of this good advice :-/
satindesire
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I agree. It's a little hypocritical to come in here and condemn people for being mean and then call someone a bitch in the same exact breath.
Let's get real here. If you can do it and not expect anyone to say anything about it, then don't say anything to THEM if they do it too.
ETA: And y'all don't even dare give me any crap about "Well she calls herself a "Bitch in a bra" in her avatar". That's two completely different things. When you call someone a Bitch, it's a judgement call, a condemnation. When she calls herself that, it's totally different.
MsQuote
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Did you try clicking on the "Unsubscribe to Thread" option in the "Subscribed Threads" button under "Quick Links" at the top of the page?
MsQuote
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"Publicly outing" a Lit member for any reason, especially in a thread and in 500+ posts since July, is harassment.
If you really want to deal with your issue with your husband, do it in private, but at this point I doubt if he would want to. I wouldn't blame him.
Also, seek professional help for yourself.
SweetErika
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Pursuing a cheater with a spouse and kids, and especially not handling it well when said heartbroken spouse has spoken with you about it is hardly the same as starting a thread on an anonymous board warning people to stay away from a person.
I disagree with both actions, for the record. However, I have a lot more tolerance and compassion for a heartbroken spouse who does something foolish and pretty mild in the heat of the moment than a person who knowingly participates in hurting others. The lion's share of the blame certainly falls on the cheating spouse, but being an accessory to the crime doesn't reflect well on a person's character, either. So, yeah, I think the other woman in this situation is a bitch, although I'd be willing to change my mind on that if she were to figure out she made a huge mistake, try to make amends, etc. And that willingness to someone out and change my view going forward is compassionate, IMO.
I disagree with both actions, for the record. However, I have a lot more tolerance and compassion for a heartbroken spouse who does something foolish and pretty mild in the heat of the moment than a person who knowingly participates in hurting others. The lion's share of the blame certainly falls on the cheating spouse, but being an accessory to the crime doesn't reflect well on a person's character, either. So, yeah, I think the other woman in this situation is a bitch, although I'd be willing to change my mind on that if she were to figure out she made a huge mistake, try to make amends, etc. And that willingness to someone out and change my view going forward is compassionate, IMO.
satindesire
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Everyone's perfectly entitled to voice themselves whatever way they want to. I'm merely saying it's hypocritical to call someone names and in the same breath berate them for not acting the way you think they should.
Let's call a spade a spade here. If you can be mean, you should let everyone else be mean too instead of holding yourself to a different standard than you hold everyone else to.
Not trying to start a fight here. Just sayin'.
Lord Pmann
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I agree. It's a little hypocritical to come in here and condemn people for being mean and then call someone a bitch in the same exact breath.
Let's get real here. If you can do it and not expect anyone to say anything about it, then don't say anything to THEM if they do it too.
ETA: And y'all don't even dare give me any crap about "Well she calls herself a "Bitch in a bra" in her avatar". That's two completely different things. When you call someone a Bitch, it's a judgement call, a condemnation. When she calls herself that, it's totally different.
You're assuming all things are equal. I have no problem calling someone a bitch when they are acting like a complete and utter bitch. The person I called a bitch in the thread has acted like a bitch. She specifically laughed at Kierst in another thread. She called her (or her actions) pathetic. Again, whether we agree with with her actions or not, she's hurting. And to make fun of her during it? That's bitchy. I haven't been in her situation. I don't know if SkyMoonAbove has. But I would hope if she had been through something like that, someone wouldn't just poke fun at her.
In summary... I have no problem calling someone a bitch who likes to pick on someone who is hurting.
satindesire
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This isn't about that. I agree, that the behavior is bitchy. If you'll go back and reread BOTH of my posts, I didn't even bring up the behavior, because the behavior was not my topic of choice. Ever.
What I was saying, and I'll repeat this ONE. MORE. TIME...
Is that it is hypocritical to come in here, berate people for being mean, AND IN THE SAME POST, be mean *just like the people that they're berating*.
If someone's a bitch, call them a bitch. I don't care. But don't tell off people for being rude or nasty while being rude or nasty. It doesn't work that way.
Lord Pmann
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Thank you for the all caps. That's helpful. I'm glad to see that you aren't rude or nasty. You (general you, not specific you) can be a bitch by being passive aggressive, you know?
But I'll try to clarify it for you, ONE MORE TIME. If you are mean to someone who is being a bitch, you aren't behaving the same as someone who is mean to someone who is not being a bitch. You may think that such behaviour isn't nice, which is fine. But you are comparing apples and oranges. So don't speak condescendingly as if people here are being inconsistent.
SweetErika
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Satin, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. I didn't berate anyone who was responding to Keirst, just pointing out that we can disagree with what she did while having compassion for her and her situation.
And as Pmann pointed out, not all offenses are equal, and the circumstances have to be considered in each case. Obviously we're not privy to many of the details, but based on what has been said publicly, I believe the "outing" thread here in How To is the least of the three offenses given the circumstances. That thread shouldn't have been posted. However, since it was, people should have tried to be more compassionate in their responses or held their tongues. The onslaught of harping and cruelty towards a woman who was clearly in pain was unnecessary. The member who was the subject of that thread absolutely should have behaved better before, during and after the whole mess; hopefully she'll see how she contributed to another woman's heartbreak and try to make amends.
That's pretty much all I have to say. I call things as I see them, and if you want to deem my honest thoughts 'hypocrisy' or make a big stink over my belief that we should be compassionate AND people are bitches/assholes when they knowingly seriously hurt others, that's fine.
And as Pmann pointed out, not all offenses are equal, and the circumstances have to be considered in each case. Obviously we're not privy to many of the details, but based on what has been said publicly, I believe the "outing" thread here in How To is the least of the three offenses given the circumstances. That thread shouldn't have been posted. However, since it was, people should have tried to be more compassionate in their responses or held their tongues. The onslaught of harping and cruelty towards a woman who was clearly in pain was unnecessary. The member who was the subject of that thread absolutely should have behaved better before, during and after the whole mess; hopefully she'll see how she contributed to another woman's heartbreak and try to make amends.
That's pretty much all I have to say. I call things as I see them, and if you want to deem my honest thoughts 'hypocrisy' or make a big stink over my belief that we should be compassionate AND people are bitches/assholes when they knowingly seriously hurt others, that's fine.
