Defining Love

[redrider4u]

Hi DLers.....


lets see....i was thinking (no wise cracks from the peanut gallery)and I define love with this number 474

Well, I thought I had 474 cracked, but my math was incorrect; so...........awaiting the true answer...........

leaning back against the bar, Coors in hand......gazing at ya.

 

[Shoshisexy]

*happy dance* Just feeling good! *huggles to all!*

And I have no idea what 474 means either.

 

[redrider4u]

*happy dance* Just feeling good! *huggles to all!*

And I have no idea what 474 means either.

hiya sho.......well, this being a sexual thread, I can think of several things...........474.


But, this perhaps being a serious moment for DLL, perhaps her third or fourth in life.....hmmmm could be more momentous.

(looking around for montauk lady)

 

[Shoshisexy]

Not a clue...but then...not a new thing for me.

 

[midwestyankee]

Nope, thought I had 474 defined, realized I did not, so deleted the post............

Ah. I was afraid you had fallen asleep.

 

[midwestyankee]

Found way too much excitement over in the AmPic threads....

Think I got me a memory or two...

Good for you.

 

[midwestyankee]

And then there is the problem of communication. Who is ultimately responsible for communication? Is it the sender or the receiver, or both?

If I speak to my beloved as plainly as I know and yet she still misunderstands, is it not still my responsibility? Shouldn't I know her well enough to help her understand? I think so.

Aha, you say, but shouldn't she know you well enough that she would not need help in understanding? No. If I am the bearer of the message, then I am the one who must see that it is clearly told and clearly understood. If I had no stake in what was told, then I would have no care in its comprehension. But when I have a vital stake in the message, then I must take great care in seeing that the message is clearly received.

We have heard much, both here and in other places, about the importance of listening in a relationship. I suggest that we must listen not only when our beloved is speaking her mind, but also when she is trying to comprehend our mind. Just as I have the responsibility to ensure that the bank teller made my deposit to the correct account, so too I have the responsibility to ensure that my beloved has deposited my thoughts in the proper place.

Disagreements, discussion, and general tomfoolery are welcome.

 

[Cathleen]

And then there is the problem of communication. Who is ultimately responsible for communication? Is it the sender or the receiver, or both?

If I speak to my beloved as plainly as I know and yet she still misunderstands, is it not still my responsibility? Shouldn't I know her well enough to help her understand? I think so.

Aha, you say, but shouldn't she know you well enough that she would not need help in understanding? No. If I am the bearer of the message, then I am the one who must see that it is clearly told and clearly understood. If I had no stake in what was told, then I would have no care in its comprehension. But when I have a vital stake in the message, then I must take great care in seeing that the message is clearly received.

We have heard much, both here and in other places, about the importance of listening in a relationship. I suggest that we must listen not only when our beloved is speaking her mind, but also when she is trying to comprehend our mind. Just as I have the responsibility to ensure that the bank teller made my deposit to the correct account, so too I have the responsibility to ensure that my beloved has deposited my thoughts in the proper place.

Disagreements, discussion, and general tomfoolery are welcome.

Well would you consider agreement! Communication involves listening and hearing as well as speaking. I sometimes differentiate between listening and hearing, as though they have a quality difference; a nuance between the two. Although they are both verbs. Talking or speaking is also a verb. Given this, communication is activity.

Both (assuming we are speaking of two as in a partnership) must be active in their roles. As a listener, it behooves me to understand what the speaker is saying. If I do not, then it is my responsiblity to let him know I am not comphrending his thoughts.
As a speaker, again I must make sure he understands me, he hears me. It requires acknowledgement on both parties and with both sides.

Just because two people may know each other, even well, there must be confirmation of comprehension. With out that why speak! I want to be hear, to be listened to, but more than that I want to be understood. Same on the opposite side, I want to understand what is being said, what thought is being communicated.

It all requires thoughtfulness of action.

(I suppose I could have just said.... it takes two to communicate effectively!)

 

[midwestyankee]

Well would you consider agreement! Communication involves listening and hearing as well as speaking. I sometimes differentiate between listening and hearing, as though they have a quality difference; a nuance between the two. Although they are both verbs. Talking or speaking is also a verb. Given this, communication is activity.

Both (assuming we are speaking of two as in a partnership) must be active in their roles. As a listener, it behooves me to understand what the speaker is saying. If I do not, then it is my responsiblity to let him know I am not comphrending his thoughts.
As a speaker, again I must make sure he understands me, he hears me. It requires acknowledgement on both parties and with both sides.

Just because two people may know each other, even well, there must be confirmation of comprehension. With out that why speak! I want to be hear, to be listened to, but more than that I want to be understood. Same on the opposite side, I want to understand what is being said, what thought is being communicated.

It all requires thoughtfulness of action.

(I suppose I could have just said.... it takes two to communicate effectively!)

Thanks for your thoughts, Cate. The problem arises when each thinks the other does understand. Then, when later they discover this was not the case, I think it's the speaker's responsibility to bear the blame.

Of course, you're quite right. Both parties must do their best to ensure clear communication. Sometimes, despite all efforts, clarity just isn't there. If only... eh?

 

[Cathleen]

Thanks for your thoughts, Cate. The problem arises when each thinks the other does understand. Then, when later they discover this was not the case, I think it's the speaker's responsibility to bear the blame.

Of course, you're quite right. Both parties must do their best to ensure clear communication. Sometimes, despite all efforts, clarity just isn't there. If only... eh?

I suppose you're right about the speaker making sure the listener understands.....if I were to liken this to a teacher-student relationship, I would agree wholheartedly.

However, if two lovers are communicating, both need to be focused. Perhaps that tool of re-phrasing what was heard would be appropriate in more meaningful discussions. I am having difficultly with the word "blame" in this matter. Do I blame you if I do not understand your post? No, I ask for clarification. Now if you do not give that, then yes, the communication is unmade and yes, that would fall on you. But if I do not understand, and do not ask, then the onous is on me, the listener.

So, given that.... do you understand me?? LOL And if you don't.... the heck with it!!! Blame me....its said women use far more words then men....so here you have the perfect example...on and on I go!!

 

[redrider4u]

mmmmmm the difference is that women nurture.

Men shoot pool........and all to often view life as a rollercoaster of pleasure...............

 

[midwestyankee]

I suppose you're right about the speaker making sure the listener understands.....if I were to liken this to a teacher-student relationship, I would agree wholheartedly.

However, if two lovers are communicating, both need to be focused. Perhaps that tool of re-phrasing what was heard would be appropriate in more meaningful discussions. I am having difficultly with the word "blame" in this matter. Do I blame you if I do not understand your post? No, I ask for clarification. Now if you do not give that, then yes, the communication is unmade and yes, that would fall on you. But if I do not understand, and do not ask, then the onous is on me, the listener.

So, given that.... do you understand me?? LOL And if you don't.... the heck with it!!! Blame me....its said women use far more words then men....so here you have the perfect example...on and on I go!!

Of course you don't blame me if you don't understand one of my posts (now that would be a first, for mwy to say something so obliquely that intelligent litsters can't make head nor tail of it ), but that's in the case where you are aware you didn't catch my intent.

But what if you think you understand, I think you understand, and then weeks later determine we that you did not and in the misunderstanding you are hurt? That is the problem I put on the table. And in that case, it seems to me the blame lies with me in the example I gave. Do you see what I mean now?

 

[midwestyankee]

mmmmmm the difference is that women nurture.

Men shoot pool........and all to often view life as a rollercoaster of pleasure...............

I thought it was that women have jars and men have a penis.

 

[redrider4u]

I thought it was that women have jars and men have a penis.

Yep the problem is when we pee in another woman's jar.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yep the problem is when we pee in another woman's jar.

Sir, the watersports thread is four doors down on the left.

 

[Cathleen]

Of course you don't blame me if you don't understand one of my posts (now that would be a first, for mwy to say something so obliquely that intelligent litsters can't make head nor tail of it ), but that's in the case where you are aware you didn't catch my intent.

But what if you think you understand, I think you understand, and then weeks later determine we that you did not and in the misunderstanding you are hurt? That is the problem I put on the table. And in that case, it seems to me the blame lies with me in the example I gave. Do you see what I mean now?

You know what is on that table.....your head.....and I'm in the forest listening to the tree that didn't fall!

I bet that post took emmense concentration to write....... and perhaps that time that could be better spent! LMAO you nut!

 

[redrider4u]

Sir, the watersports thread is four doors down on the left.

Sorry.....too many Coors............lost my head.......

 

[midwestyankee]

Sorry.....too many Coors............lost my head.......

Too many Coors and that's not all you lose.

 

[Cathleen]

so would that mean, if I start drinking, I'd understand you????
provided of course I listen!

 

[redrider4u]

Too many Coors and that's not all you lose.

Ah, ya just save the cans.......use them for target practice.

"defining shooting."

 

[midwestyankee]

You know what is on that table.....your head.....and I'm in the forest listening to the tree that didn't fall!

I bet that post took emmense concentration to write....... and perhaps that time that could be better spent! LMAO you nut!

Perhaps it isn't a tree that fails to fall but a voice crying in the wilderness that isn't being heard.

 

[Cathleen]

Perhaps it isn't a tree that fails to fall but a voice crying in the wilderness that isn't being heard.

remember your head...... on the table? yes? whack!!!!! thump!!!

great new AV, the other is lovely too!

so besides this.....I have nothing for you to listen to coming from my mouth, maybe to your ears, but whos to say!

 

[MindFire]

http://www.classicdesignz.com/addictions/animations/bright/ani281.gif

Though I would drop in again. From my vantage point here
it seems to have gotten more confusing..

I had a beer in my back pack.. I opened it.. and nothing
is one bit clearer..

love is just tooo deep.. if you like him kiss him.
if you really Like him F him...
and if your insane about one another Get married..

hugs yankee

 

[redrider4u]

http://www.classicdesignz.com/addictions/animations/bright/ani281.gif

Though I would drop in again. From my vantage point here
it seems to have gotten more confusing..

I had a beer in my back pack.. I opened it.. and nothing
is one bit clearer..

love is just tooo deep.. if you like him kiss him.
if you really Like him F him...
and if your insane about one another Get married..

hugs yankee

Mmmm, damn, Mindy, you might have something there..........

 

[Shadowpaladin]

http://www.classicdesignz.com/addictions/animations/bright/ani281.gif

Though I would drop in again. From my vantage point here
it seems to have gotten more confusing..

I had a beer in my back pack.. I opened it.. and nothing
is one bit clearer..

love is just tooo deep.. if you like him kiss him.
if you really Like him F him...
and if your insane about one another Get married..

hugs yankee

Hrm. With that belief system if I weren't sworn off of affairs of the heart I would swoon for Mindfire..LOL