Defining Love

[GoddessOfSouls]

Actually, I just use the generic dish soap.

I would say that over time the chief characteristic of a loving relationship is the loving actions, not the feelings. The feelings continue, though in my experience they change and grow quite different over the years.

Do you not think that the more you get to know someone though the years that what happens is a respect, and understanding, communication is really truly the key to anything, the more you communicate the deeper you understand another, I think sometimes thats why some are so shocked when there mate changes on them, for if they had all the while that kind of relationship where you talk about life, your wants your desires, your ideals, then how could this happen? I mean really if your lover is as well your best friend and you trust them with your life, then why wouldnt you share all aspects of your mind with them? The only reason I can think of would be rejection, but then if you except someone for who they are and have this kind of love between you that knows no end, wouldnt there as well be understanding?
Its true we all gain a comfort stage in a relationship, where we allow things to become Mundane, thats normal, and it as well should have peeks and valleys, the gift of real love I think, grows with you, it changes as you change, Perhaps thats where one of my all time favorites comes from
"Come, Grow Old with me, The Best is yet to Be"

Ok now since I was really only stopping by to leave a linnk with a reminder and got stuck reading and POSTING!!
Ok Feb 14th is around the corner!!
do come ask someone today!

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?threadid=222363

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Curvaceous Gent
BTW, I LOVE your AV Wicked Woman

Why thank you kind sir...and if this was a define 'like'...you would like my AV? hehe

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
Me, a smartass? Whatever gave you that idea?

Joy is a rare thing in some lives and plentiful in others. I had to teach myself to be aware of it and to celebrate it.

When I let it into my consciousness, I can feel joy in nearly every breath.

But smart ass sounds so much better than humorist.

'...I can feel joy in nearly every breath...' there you go again. Isn't that similar to approaching the world with a positive attitude...a glass half full...doing that some how makes the world a better place.

Can the same be said about love? If I go about my day feeling loved and giving my love freely, I'm more likely to receive love.

 

[Guest]

Why thank you kind sir...and if this was a define 'like'...you would like my AV? hehe

I would probably worship your AV

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I couldn't very well pass by a thread that the Yankster started without stopping in to say hello......and what a pleasant surprise to find some of my favorite people here!

But we all know that GG avoids this particular subject like the plague, so I'll just leave my hellos and make a hasty retreat

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

I couldn't very well pass by a thread that the Yankster started without stopping in to say hello......and what a pleasant surprise to find some of my favorite people here!

But we all know that GG avoids this particular subject like the plague, so I'll just leave my hellos and make a hasty retreat

Well Hello My Friend!! *hugs* you know the funny thing about a plague! There infectious! Contagious! sooner or later one is going to get you!

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Well Hello My Friend!! *hugs* you know the funny thing about a plague! There infectious! Contagious! sooner or later one is going to get you!

Which is why I am avoiding you lovebirds at all costs

Hello to you my friend. I stopped by your thread not too long ago to leave my hellos but you were not about. Something about sick grandchildren and the like. Hopefully that sweet man of yours passed along my message.

 

[GoddessOfSouls]

Which is why I am avoiding you lovebirds at all costs

Hello to you my friend. I stopped by your thread not too long ago to leave my hellos but you were not about. Something about sick grandchildren and the like. Hopefully that sweet man of yours passed along my message.

LOL yes he is very good about keeping me up on things! I think sometimes he does that so he can catch my post count you know that man is a posting slut!

LOL now GG you know full well that avoiding the "love" and "Romantics" will not keep you safe, now if I was a betting girl, which at times I can be! I would have to say, that you have the capacity to be the greatest of these both. I have seen more then once, the beauty of your soul

 

[GiveawayGirl]

LOL yes he is very good about keeping me up on things! I think sometimes he does that so he can catch my post count you know that man is a posting slut!

LOL now GG you know full well that avoiding the "love" and "Romantics" will not keep you safe, now if I was a betting girl, which at times I can be! I would have to say, that you have the capacity to be the greatest of these both. I have seen more then once, the beauty of your soul

I thank you for these kind words GoS, and you may well be closer to the truth than you know. But I have found in my experience that while avoidance may not be the best answer, it is surely the easiest of solutions.


Yank, my apologies for getting sidetracked in the midst of your intellectual dissection of the love topic. I wish you luck in your explorations of such an ambitious subject.

I will add my two cents so that I can say I've contributed something appropriate. I think that no matter how you define love, its interpretation is different for every individual. And although two people can love each other deeply and commit to a lifetime love, that doesn't necessarily mean that they each experience love in the same way. The key to finding love that endures is being able to find it with someone who views love in a compatible manner.

 

[69forever]

LOL yes he is very good about keeping me up on things! I think sometimes he does that so he can catch my post count you know that man is a posting slut!

LOL now GG you know full well that avoiding the "love" and "Romantics" will not keep you safe, now if I was a betting girl, which at times I can be! I would have to say, that you have the capacity to be the greatest of these both. I have seen more then once, the beauty of your soul

LOL! I thought I heard that whispered word!!! Just look who's ahead in posts seeing as how we joined at the same time to find the real slut!

GG is a Romantic...she just doesn't want to ruin her reputation as a hard ass!!!

 

[GiveawayGirl]

LOL! I thought I heard that whispered word!!! Just look who's ahead in posts seeing as how we joined at the same time to find the real slut!

GG is a Romantic...she just doesn't want to ruin her reputation as a hard ass!!!

I do not have a reputation as a hard ass, do I? I thought it was smartass

and stop making me post off topic, yank is going to get mad at me!

BTW: hello friend

 

[69forever]

I thank you for these kind words GoS, and you may well be closer to the truth than you know. But I have found in my experience that while avoidance may not be the best answer, it is surely the easiest of solutions.


Yank, my apologies for getting sidetracked in the midst of your intellectual dissection of the love topic. I wish you luck in your explorations of such an ambitious subject.

I will add my two cents so that I can say I've contributed something appropriate. I think that no matter how you define love, its interpretation is different for every individual. And although two people can love each other deeply and commit to a lifetime love, that doesn't necessarily mean that they each experience love in the same way. The key to finding love that endures is being able to find it with someone who views love in a compatible manner.

My dear friend that key is communication, first and foremost. When that stops love withers and dies on the vine of life.
Our very souls become filled with strife. Then we pull back and wrap ourselves in layers of protection for the heart, until it becomes most difficult to peel them away and love again.

I know, I lived that way for 10 years. Take care my friend.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

My dear friend that key is communication, first and foremost. When that stops love withers and dies on the vine of life.
Our very souls become filled with strife. Then we pull back and wrap ourselves in layers of protection for the heart, until it becomes most difficult to peel them away and love again.

I know, I lived that way for 10 years. Take care my friend.

I plan on topping your 10 year record my friend

 

[moosie48360]

Re: Experiences...

______________________________________
What experiences helped shape your definition?
______________________________________

hmmmmm, where to start? Except for the years after my last divorce, when I covered my heart and soul in a protective layer, I have always been a Romantic. Ruled by my heart and soul.

I didn't truly understand it all (do I?) until I finally came upon my spirituality. Believing in past lives and future ones, gives me a whole new perspective on love. It opens up your heart and soul to everyone's Humanity. It makes me see that in order to be fulfilled and grow, I put others first...sometimes no matter the cost.

Being shown unconditional love...makes you stop and look at how you love. I no longer take it for granted.

while I agree with a few of the things that you've said <and all of you really>........

I honestly don't think that we can truly learn to love until we learn to love ourselves.....so much of my life has been putting everyone else's needs in front of my own..that somewhere I began to get lost...and now that I am finding myself again..and learning to love the woman that I am becoming...it has changed the whole concept of the relationships I have in my life...I find that..they no longer suit me..that...somewhere in my quest of wanting to be loved and find love...was distorted by my desire to be something to everyone...and finding that I can no longer do that...that I need to do what I need to do for myself..is changing the whole structure of my life....am I scared?..hell yes....am I excited..hell yes.....I know that...all the things that I feel about me..that there is someone else out there..that feels the same way about themselves..and I think with that knowledge..that puts us on a different playing field....

I hope that all made sense..I know what I mean....just..conveying it is a 'lil hard

 

[midwestyankee]

I do not have a reputation as a hard ass, do I? I thought it was smartass

and stop making me post off topic, yank is going to get mad at me!

BTW: hello friend

GG, I couldn't possibly get angry with the one who first welcomed me to Lit world.

And thanks for making your contribution. I agree that finding an enduring love with one who sees love in a compatible manner is the ideal way to go. Unfortunately, most of us don't have a clue what that means when we first set out.

Please, stop by again if you would like.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Please, stop by again if you would like.

Yank, my dear, we both know that you don't want me to become a regular on your thread. History has proven that if you and I enter into a debate on any subject, no one will be able to get a word in edgewise

 

[midwestyankee]

Re: Re: Experiences...

while I agree with a few of the things that you've said <and all of you really>........

I honestly don't think that we can truly learn to love until we learn to love ourselves.....so much of my life has been putting everyone else's needs in front of my own..that somewhere I began to get lost...and now that I am finding myself again..and learning to love the woman that I am becoming...it has changed the whole concept of the relationships I have in my life...I find that..they no longer suit me..that...somewhere in my quest of wanting to be loved and find love...was distorted by my desire to be something to everyone...and finding that I can no longer do that...that I need to do what I need to do for myself..is changing the whole structure of my life....am I scared?..hell yes....am I excited..hell yes.....I know that...all the things that I feel about me..that there is someone else out there..that feels the same way about themselves..and I think with that knowledge..that puts us on a different playing field....

I hope that all made sense..I know what I mean....just..conveying it is a 'lil hard

Moosie, this made perfect sense. What I hear you talking about is what I like to call spiritual growth. We grow by dealing with our problems. After all, life is hard and presents us with new problems and new sources of potential pain every day. It's in how we handle those problems and accept the pain that we either grow or not.

Most choose not to grow but to hide from the pain and slide through the problems without truly solving them. That is their loss. You, clearly, have chosen now to forge ahead and work your way through to a better and deeper place.

Good journey, friend.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by GiveawayGirl
I thank you for these kind words GoS, and you may well be closer to the truth than you know. But I have found in my experience that while avoidance may not be the best answer, it is surely the easiest of solutions.


Yank, my apologies for getting sidetracked in the midst of your intellectual dissection of the love topic. I wish you luck in your explorations of such an ambitious subject.

I will add my two cents so that I can say I've contributed something appropriate. I think that no matter how you define love, its interpretation is different for every individual. And although two people can love each other deeply and commit to a lifetime love, that doesn't necessarily mean that they each experience love in the same way. The key to finding love that endures is being able to find it with someone who views love in a compatible manner.

Hey GG

Your 'on topic' comments reminded me of a book I read...the name of which escapes me...but it was about different types of love...well not really types of love....but how people preceive love. If my type is 'time'...I might need my SO to spend time with me...quality time ...and that's how he needs to show me he loves me. But maybe he's a 'gift' type...so he thinks by working hard so he can afford to buy me all sorts of gifts he's showing me that he loves me. Problem is while gifts are nice, but working long hours to buy the gifts he's taking away 'time' from me...so in my mind it doesn't feel like he loves me.

Sorry know I'm not explaining it very well...but the crux was that there are different ways people like to be shown they are loved...you don't have to match the types...just you need to determine which type your SO is and fulfill that need even if it's not how you like to be shown love.

Was an interesting concept I thought....especially if we tie it back to the earlier comments about LTR relying on loving actions.

 

[moosie48360]

Re: Re: Re: Experiences...

Moosie, this made perfect sense. What I hear you talking about is what I like to call spiritual growth. We grow by dealing with our problems. After all, life is hard and presents us with new problems and new sources of potential pain every day. It's in how we handle those problems and accept the pain that we either grow or not.

Most choose not to grow but to hide from the pain and slide through the problems without truly solving them. That is their loss. You, clearly, have chosen now to forge ahead and work your way through to a better and deeper place.

Good journey, friend.

Exactly!! LOL........ty

 

[midwestyankee]

Yank, my dear, we both know that you don't want me to become a regular on your thread. History has proven that if you and I enter into a debate on any subject, no one will be able to get a word in edgewise

I beg to differ, on one point at least. I think the discussion would benefit from your regular participation.

However, no doubt you are right that if we happened across a point where we disagreed, it might be difficult for others to post until the wee hours.

Still, in the interest of the best possible discussion, the invitation stands.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hey GG

Your 'on topic' comments reminded me of a book I read...the name of which escapes me...but it was about different types of love...well not really types of love....but how people preceive love. If my type is 'time'...I might need my SO to spend time with me...quality time ...and that's how he needs to show me he loves me. But maybe he's a 'gift' type...so he thinks by working hard so he can afford to buy me all sorts of gifts he's showing me that he loves me. Problem is while gifts are nice, but working long hours to buy the gifts he's taking away 'time' from me...so in my mind it doesn't feel like he loves me.

Sorry know I'm not explaining it very well...but the crux was that there are different ways people like to be shown they are loved...you don't have to match the types...just you need to determine which type your SO is and fulfill that need even if it's not how you like to be shown love.

Was an interesting concept I thought....especially if we tie it back to the earlier comments about LTR relying on loving actions.

This makes a great deal of sense to me. However, it also seems a touch simplistic. Or perhaps the issue is that most people view love in a rather simplistic manner and thus can see it from only the "time" or "gift" or "sex" perspective (assuming that sex is one of the dominant modes).

If we truly love our beloved, then we listen and come to understand his or her motives in life. That enables us to see the time or gifts in the light in which they were intended.

Is that what you had in mind?

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by GiveawayGirl
Yank, my dear, we both know that you don't want me to become a regular on your thread. History has proven that if you and I enter into a debate on any subject, no one will be able to get a word in edgewise

Wouldn't mind seeing this I'm sure I could throw a few things into the pot still.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Wouldn't mind seeing this I'm sure I could throw a few things into the pot still.

If anyone could, it would be you my friend. Hello by the way

But I think yankee has proven my point with his subsequent post; we can't even agree on the wisdom of posting together!

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
This makes a great deal of sense to me. However, it also seems a touch simplistic. Or perhaps the issue is that most people view love in a rather simplistic manner and thus can see it from only the "time" or "gift" or "sex" perspective (assuming that sex is one of the dominant modes).

If we truly love our beloved, then we listen and come to understand his or her motives in life. That enables us to see the time or gifts in the light in which they were intended.

Is that what you had in mind?

My version was definitely simplistic.

I don't think the author was suggesting that he had all the answers so from that perspective is clearly simplistic. If I understand you correctly though I think what the author was suggesting was the opposite. Kind of like when we give birthday or Christmas gifts...we should give a gift that we think the recipient will enjoy...not what we like. I think what you've suggested above is that if a sports fanatic gives me tickets to a sports event, that even though I detest sports I should appreciate his intent in giving me something that he thought I would appreciate. Where I would agree I should appreciate the thought in the giving ...I would have appreciated it even more if he knew me well enough to know I have no interest in sports so gave me something I was interested in...instead of what he was interested in.

Guess it depends whose perspective you are looking at it from. The author was suggesting you should give (in your loving actions) what would be perceived as loving actions by the recipient. Not that there is anything wrong with showing your love the way you would like to...but if it's never done in a manner that the receipient recognizes as showing love...then (s)he may start to feel unloved.

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by GiveawayGirl
If anyone could, it would be you my friend. Hello by the way

But I think yankee has proven my point with his subsequent post; we can't even agree on the wisdom of posting together!

You can't agree because you want to shy away from the topic perhaps. Come talk to me some time my friend and I will show you that it is a high price you pay.

Good to see you too hon.