Defining Love

[Cathleen]

I don't recall suggesting that swapping a t-shirt would have the same effect as offering the ice cream. But as I have a much larger supply of t-shirts, and they keep better....

Yes I understand now, I must have inferred incorrectly, I get passionate about my ice cream! LOL

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes I understand now, I must have inferred incorrectly, I get passionate about my ice cream! LOL

Then henceforth Cathleen shall be known as the one who swoons for peppermint stick ice cream.

And the freezer in the dungeon will be well stocked.

 

[Cathleen]

Then henceforth Cathleen shall be known as the one who swoons for peppermint stick ice cream.

And the freezer in the dungeon will be well stocked.

Good, now that is settled Yankee, can we talk about this dungeon? I don't like dungeons!

 

[midwestyankee]

Good, now that is settled Yankee, can we talk about this dungeon? I don't like dungeons!

I believe it was your idea to suggest that I was holding "the Yankee Inquisition." And everyone knows that a good Inquisition just isn't up to standards without a dungeon. Thus, the Yankee Inquisition will have a dungeon.

Now, to make our baseball-loving friends feel a little more welcome, it will be decorated in Red Sox colors. The arm rings on the walls will all be lined with Hermes scarves; the rack will have 600-count Egyptian cotton sheets on it; all crops and whips will be personally inspected by DLL for authenticity and the proper amount of flex (uhh, she doesn't exactly know about this responsibility yet - so don't tell her - and besides, she could end up on the wrong end of one of them too).

Because our guests may risk dehydration during their interrogations, the Sub-Zero will be stocked with several brands of bottled water, Cristal champagne, and soft drinks. The Caffeine-Free Diet Coke will be solely for the Grand Inquisitor.

Any further questions?

 

[Cathleen]

I believe it was your idea to suggest that I was holding "the Yankee Inquisition." And everyone knows that a good Inquisition just isn't up to standards without a dungeon. Thus, the Yankee Inquisition will have a dungeon.

Now, to make our baseball-loving friends feel a little more welcome, it will be decorated in Red Sox colors. The arm rings on the walls will all be lined with Hermes scarves; the rack will have 600-count Egyptian cotton sheets on it; all crops and whips will be personally inspected by DLL for authenticity and the proper amount of flex (uhh, she doesn't exactly know about this responsibility yet - so don't tell her - and besides, she could end up on the wrong end of one of them too).

Because our guests may risk dehydration during their interrogations, the Sub-Zero will be stocked with several brands of bottled water, Cristal champagne, and soft drinks. The Caffeine-Free Diet Coke will be solely for the Grand Inquisitor.

Any further questions?

Any further questions....me? Ha....

Yes, it was me that wondered if this was an inquisition.... and since it is your home, I suppose I have no choice.

If I am very nice, may I too have a caffeine-free diet coke every once in awhile? I think we both know I do not need caffeine! It would only cause my brain to slip into turbo mode!

 

[midwestyankee]

Any further questions....me? Ha....



If I am very nice, may I too have a caffeine-free diet coke every once in awhile? I think we both know I do not need caffeine! It would only cause my brain to slip into turbo mode!

Then you will simply have to hope that you always answer all the questions correctly.

 

[Cathleen]

Then you will simply have to hope that you always answer all the questions correctly.

You know Yankee... well forget it.....

 

[midwestyankee]

In case all the dungeon talk has been too much of a distraction, the question on the table at the moment is this: what makes you swoon?

 

[Ammo44]

nibbles on my neck....and light kisses trailing down to my breasts...while listening to really good music

oh and those yummy chocolates....much better than godivas....

It all sounds good............and nothing like a well placed chocolate......or 2......

 

[Shoshisexy]

In case all the dungeon talk has been too much of a distraction, the question on the table at the moment is this: what makes you swoon?

Beyond Swain and Damsel?

Hmmmm...The brush of fingers against my cheek as I gaze into the eyes that love me...The skim of a hand over my neck...a well-polaced and timed bite....Need I go on?

 

[Arden]

I'll agree with that.
Never tell a lie when the truth is better.
Never tell the whole truth if it will hurt the other.

I don't agree with the last point. Telling half truths in an effort to not hurt someone only allows the liar to continue lying without feeling guilty - under the guise of not wanting to hurt someone. There's little truth in that.




Edited to add: MT, please don't take what I said personally. I was responding only to your statement

 

[Shoshisexy]

I don't agree with the last point. Telling half truths in an effort to not hurt someone only allows the liar to continue lying without feeling guilty - under the guise of not wanting to hurt someone. There's little truth in that.

I have to agree with Arden here.

There is one other point, though. Don't lie to YOURSELF, either. When someone loves you...let them. It does you no harm and it pleases them. Even if you cannot return their feelings, be honest and tell them so. They may continue loving you anyway. That doesn't make either person less of one. But if you are lucky...You will find a true love bond. It took me a while to figure this one out in my life. I love a lot of people in my life...and am loved by less. But that doesn't make either me or them wrong as long as no one is dishonest either with each other or themselves. When you find that you love someone...don't allow fear to come between you and your Beloved. Yes, you may be hurt...but not telling/acting on it is just like not telling someone something so as not to hurt them...except YOU are the one that doesn't want to be hurt.

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

I don't agree with the last point. Telling half truths in an effort to not hurt someone only allows the liar to continue lying without feeling guilty - under the guise of not wanting to hurt someone. There's little truth in that.

Arden ...

I couldn't agree more ... hiding the truth to avoid being with someone's disappointment or anger, does not nurture the relationship.

Yes, it can be hard to honor someone's tears and pain, and it takes courage to claim any responsibility for what one has done or not done, or said. But the truth deserves to be claimed. A truth is never hidden by not telling it ... one will always know that truth within.

Sky

 

[LadyShianne]

In case all the dungeon talk has been too much of a distraction, the question on the table at the moment is this: what makes you swoon?

Nothing makes me "swoon"....but biting/nibbling on the back of my neck makes me feel like it... It absolutely positively makes me go weak in the knees & makes me VERY turned on...does that count?*grin*

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I don't agree with the last point. Telling half truths in an effort to not hurt someone only allows the liar to continue lying without feeling guilty - under the guise of not wanting to hurt someone. There's little truth in that.




Edited to add: MT, please don't take what I said personally. I was responding only to your statement

I never meant to say to lie, or tell half truths, but meant to say not tell it too bluntly. Blunt truths can hurt as much as lies..
I don't think I would ever want to be with anyone who didn't think before blurting it out. There are ways to say the same things without beating them over the head with it!! Too harsh a truth can be cruelty too!!

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by midwestyankee
I don't recall suggesting that swapping a t-shirt would have the same effect as offering the ice cream. But as I have a much larger supply of t-shirts, and they keep better....

 

[midwestyankee]

Arden ...

I couldn't agree more ... hiding the truth to avoid being with someone's disappointment or anger, does not nurture the relationship.

Yes, it can be hard to honor someone's tears and pain, and it takes courage to claim any responsibility for what one has done or not done, or said. But the truth deserves to be claimed. A truth is never hidden by not telling it ... one will always know that truth within.

Sky

That's an interesting way of saying it, Sky, that the truth deserves to be claimed. And yes, I agree that it takes some courage to take responsibility for what you have done or not done, said or not said.

So here's my follow-up question: in a relationship, is it possible to take responsibility for your actions without telling your beloved? What does it say about your place in the relationship if you bear all your responsibility in silence?

 

[midwestyankee]

Hmmmm i dont know..swapping t-shirts the way i do it has a better effect than any kind of ice cream

Somehow I just knew that suggesting a t-shirt swap would come back and bite me.

 

[Cathleen]

I never meant to say to lie, or tell half truths, but meant to say not tell it too bluntly. Blunt truths can hurt as much as lies..
I don't think I would ever want to be with anyone who didn't think before blurting it out. There are ways to say the same things without beating them over the head with it!! Too harsh a truth can be cruelty too!!

This may sound as if I am fence sitting, but I'm not. This discussion has been interesting to watch go back and forth and I am finding it easy to see points on both sides.

What it has brought forth in my mind is the 9th step of the Twelve Step recovery programs. What leads up to step nine is brutal honesty (if one is serious about the gifts and promises the program can offer). You take a complete moral inventory of yourself, your life, every action. This is no cake walk, if done with the honesty required. Your actions toward others become very evident as well as your character defects. The path leads to becoming willing to make amends to those people you've hurt in your life. Willingness is not as easy as it sounds either. If you doubt that try becoming willing to tell someone the most awful things you've done in your life, its tough. We all have things we're not proud of, but to reveal them is difficult.

All this leads to Step Nine, it reads:

Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

The second part of that is not a cop out in my opinion. I've made amends to people that when I was done, I was spent, humbled beyond belief. There are things I've done that if I made a direct amends would cause hurt and pain to them. I will not do that anymore. I have found other methods of releasing that pain in me, and have asked for their pain to be removed as well. It is possible to hurt someone with the truth. Its not about being tackful either. Its about being brutally honest about what I've done, the actions that I'd rather were not part of my history. But they are there, I am no longer haunted by them, but I know they exist.

If I could give you an example I would, but this is not the place for that kind of reveal. But I am glad to know I can be direct and honest to confront my faults. It takes strength and clarity to know the difference when an apology should be given directly or through another channel, total honest is always the key. My making an amends is really a gift to me, forgiveness, in my opinion is for the one making it more than the one receiving it.

 

[midwestyankee]

Cathleen, that was a courageous and powerful post. Honesty at the level you describe here, is beyond the imagination of many, I am sure.

 

[Cathleen]

Cathleen, that was a courageous and powerful post. Honesty at the level you describe here, is beyond the imagination of many, I am sure.

Aww.... come on now... none of that!

And I didn't miss the AV!! heeeheee !

 

[midwestyankee]

Aww.... come on now... none of that!

And I didn't miss the AV!! heeeheee !

Well, what do you expect from someone who does a truly terrible imitation of Sonny Bono?

 

[wicked woman]

Originally posted by Cathleen
Aww.... come on now... none of that!

And I didn't miss the AV!! heeeheee !

shit but I did

 

[Cathleen]

Oh WW..... maybe if you ask very nicely and offer him a caffine free diet coke ..... better make that wine.... he'll reappear!!

Yankee....don't mention expectations , we've done that topic already!! You're just something!!!

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh WW..... maybe if you ask very nicely and offer him a caffine free diet coke ..... better make that wine.... he'll reappear!!

Yankee....don't mention expectations , we've done that topic already!! You're just something!!!

Young lady, we'll have no talk of expectorations on this thread!

This is a place of serious discourse and important conversation, I'll have you know.





Balls!! The Yankees just took over first place in the AL East.