Defining Love

[midwestyankee]

Ok Yankster, hold onto your keyboard. This is a real, live, smartass-less post to follow........

I realize that I gave you some crap in other threads lately but I do want you to know that under my smartass hat, I do have a heart and I do count you among the Litsters I hold dear.

What better place for me to share my joy for you than in your thread devoted to love and its many definitions? Although I have always enjoyed debating theories with you here, I now have a much clearer understanding of where so many of your wise thoughts have come from.

Happiness is an elusive thing; you must grab onto it when you have the chance because you never know how enduring or how fleeting it may be. I wish you nothing but many moments of happiness in the future with your beloved. Your happiness makes me smile.

(But I'm still a little miffed that I had to stalk you to find out and you wouldn't cop to it even when cornered. AND, I hope this doesn't mean you expect me to stop shamelessly flirting with you or berating you for bad puns.....some things I just can't do!)

Sorry, I just can't seem to help myself

GG, my friend, you do yourself a disservice by forgetting all the wise contributions you've made here (granted they have had plenty of smartass company, but still.... ).

Happiness is, indeed, an elusive thing. Once obtained, one should endeavor to make every moment count.

You go right ahead and flirt away; my beloved knows my heart is pure and sure. You could, however, consider cutting me some slack on the puns (never a bad one, it's just that some people don't catch on as quickly as they'd like - that's really what the groans are all about, you see); after all, I'm in a new dimension these days.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

GG, my friend, you do yourself a disservice by forgetting all the wise contributions you've made here (granted they have had plenty of smartass company, but still.... ).

Happiness is, indeed, an elusive thing. Once obtained, one should endeavor to make every moment count.

You go right ahead and flirt away; my beloved knows my heart is pure and sure. You could, however, consider cutting me some slack on the puns (never a bad one, it's just that some people don't catch on as quickly as they'd like - that's really what the groans are all about, you see); after all, I'm in a new dimension these days.

Trust me Yank, the day I hear a good pun come from you I'm throwing you a ticker tape parade.

I am sure your heart is pure and sure........of this I have no doubt. I hope we will see your beloved offer her own contributions to this thread. I can only imagine the wisdom she must have to have captured your heart and the patience she must possess to listen to those puns

 

[midwestyankee]

Trust me Yank, the day I hear a good pun come from you I'm throwing you a ticker tape parade.

I am sure your heart is pure and sure........of this I have no doubt. I hope we will see your beloved offer her own contributions to this thread. I can only imagine the wisdom she must have to have captured your heart and the patience she must possess to listen to those puns

Patience is a virtue.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Patience is a virtue.

Yep, that and $4.07 will buy you a latte

 

[midwestyankee]

Yep, that and $4.07 will buy you a latte

My god, what hath inflation wrought?

 

[midwestyankee]

The other day I offered the opinion that hopefulness is an essential ingredient in love. GG, whose hat apparently does not fit so tightly that it cuts off circulation to her brain, asked if hopefulness was a consequence of love rather than definitive of it. Ever the smartass, I ignored her comment.

Thus:

I think the hopefulness develops in the very early stages of love. It can't be there until the two partners feel the attraction between them. It is, then, a consequence of the attraction. However, not all attractions develop this hopefulness. Some create lust, while some fade quickly. Thus the hopefulness is also a definitive state, for without it the attraction would naturally dissolve, and with it, the attraction becomes something greater.

Much greater.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

The other day I offered the opinion that hopefulness is an essential ingredient in love. GG, whose hat apparently does not fit so tightly that it cuts off circulation to her brain, asked if hopefulness was a consequence of love rather than definitive of it. Ever the smartass, I ignored her comment.

Thus:

I think the hopefulness develops in the very early stages of love. It can't be there until the two partners feel the attraction between them. It is, then, a consequence of the attraction. However, not all attractions develop this hopefulness. Some create lust, while some fade quickly. Thus the hopefulness is also a definitive state, for without it the attraction would naturally dissolve, and with it, the attraction becomes something greater.

Much greater.

Without hope, all things must die...
It is an essential ingredient to any relationship, even ones that are temporary or created in lust. We all hope for more.
But hope is a fleeting thing unless fed continually by both parties.
When one loses hope, the chain is broken.

 

[midwestyankee]

Without hope, all things must die...
It is an essential ingredient to any relationship, even ones that are temporary or created in lust. We all hope for more.
But hope is a fleeting thing unless fed continually by both parties.
When one loses hope, the chain is broken.

I hadn't thought of it this way, but I suspect you're right that a good part of what we nourish as we work on a relationship is the hopefulness at its core.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

I hadn't thought of it this way, but I suspect you're right that a good part of what we nourish as we work on a relationship is the hopefulness at its core.

Things will not be right all the time, life happens, but it's the hope that they will be again that keeps the love alive.
Love and life run in cycles, with high points and low ones.
Hope allows us to survive.......

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Hope allows us to survive.......

MT-

I think this is right on the money when talking about love, but also holds true in all things in life as well.

You are so wise

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
Without hope, all things must die...
It is an essential ingredient to any relationship, even ones that are temporary or created in lust. We all hope for more.
But hope is a fleeting thing unless fed continually by both parties.
When one loses hope, the chain is broken.

maybe its not hope that fades but desire

 

[MT_Pitcher]

maybe its not hope that fades but desire

Desire CAN fade, but if you still hope the desire will come back, you have a chance.
It's when you know the desire is gone, and lose hope, that all is lost.

 

[midwestyankee]

Desire CAN fade, but if you still hope the desire will come back, you have a chance.
It's when you know the desire is gone, and lose hope, that all is lost.

Desire is an underpinning of hope; it's not the whole story by any means, but in love desire is one of the key amino acids that generates the hopefulness.

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
Desire CAN fade, but if you still hope the desire will come back, you have a chance.
It's when you know the desire is gone, and lose hope, that all is lost.

I speak
Because I know my needs
I speak with hesitation
Because I know not yours

My Words
Come from my life’s experiences
Your understanding
Comes from yours

Because of this
What I say
And what you hear
May not be the same

So if you will listen carefully
But not with your ears
To what I say
But not with my tongue

Maybe somehow
We can communicate
DLL

I dont know MT when desire fades even if you have hope its a lost cause in my book..becomes a one way street

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Desire is an underpinning of hope; it's not the whole story by any means, but in love desire is one of the key amino acids that generates the hopefulness.

Depends on the desire. There are two types, emotional and physical, tied together, but sometimes loosely.
The emotional desire is a key ingredient to the beginning of any love, maybe the most important. The physical desire comes from that. Some relationships survive the loss of the physical.
And you can still emotionally desire someone and need them without it. Some people........
Others, most of us probably, need that physical desire too, that "want".

 

[DLL]

Originally posted by MT_Pitcher
Depends on the desire. There are two types, emotional and physical, tied together, but sometimes loosely.
The emotional desire is a key ingredient to the beginning of any love, maybe the most important. The physical desire comes from that. Some relationships survive the loss of the physical.
And you can still emotionally desire someone and need them without it. Some people........
Others, most of us probably, need that physical desire too, that "want".

all relationships thrive on the physical its a must to work...
(checks book for the botox appointment)

 

[MT_Pitcher]

all relationships thrive on the physical its a must to work...
(checks book for the botox appointment)

Some people seem to live without it... A few...
But please don't count me among them.....

 

[midwestyankee]

all relationships thrive on the physical its a must to work...
(checks book for the botox appointment)

Here I will have to respectfully disagree. Some of the great loves in history had little or no physical side. Today, long-distance relationships abound with very little, if any, physical contact or contact only at very infrequent intervals.

In my view, the physical can take one of two roles in a relationship. Most commonly these days it is the door through which a couple enter into a relationship. It is the mechanism that both fuels and satisfies their desires to be absorbed into each other. In other cases, the physical merely confirms what lovers have known about their desire for each other for a long time. Then it becomes a hardening agent, making finer and more durable steel from the raw iron of their nascent love.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

Here I will have to respectfully disagree. Some of the great loves in history had little or no physical side. Today, long-distance relationships abound with very little, if any, physical contact or contact only at very infrequent intervals.

In my view, the physical can take one of two roles in a relationship. Most commonly these days it is the door through which a couple enter into a relationship. It is the mechanism that both fuels and satisfies their desires to be absorbed into each other. In other cases, the physical merely confirms what lovers have known about their desire for each other for a long time. Then it becomes a hardening agent, making finer and more durable steel from the raw iron of their nascent love.

And speaking of respectful disagreement........

To compare great loves throughout history isn't really a strong argument Yankster. Like all other historical reference, it is colored by perspective. Many generations of perspective and its influence.

As for long distance relationships, I don't know of any that really work long term. At some point the distance and lack of physical contact defeat them. I think it is idealistic to think any relationship can survive and grow without a healthy amount of sharing of physical space, touches, looks. The mind will fill in the gaps of what is missing on a regular basis and sooner or later reality will clash with that. Add the components of longing, loneliness, and frustration and it would require a herculean effort to maintain much less be successful.

But again, that's just a narrow view from beneath a hat

 

[MT_Pitcher]

And speaking of respectful disagreement........

To compare great loves throughout history isn't really a strong argument Yankster. Like all other historical reference, it is colored by perspective. Many generations of perspective and its influence.

As for long distance relationships, I don't know of any that really work long term. At some point the distance and lack of physical contact defeat them. I think it is idealistic to think any relationship can survive and grow without a healthy amount of sharing of physical space, touches, looks. The mind will fill in the gaps of what is missing on a regular basis and sooner or later reality will clash with that. Add the components of longing, loneliness, and frustration and it would require a herculean effort to maintain much less be successful.

But again, that's just a narrow view from beneath a hat

I find myself agreeing with Hat Girl on this one.
Those great loves in history are romanticized views from the outside. Until you actually live with someone, you don't even really know them.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I find myself agreeing with Hat Girl on this one.
Those great loves in history are romanticized views from the outside. Until you actually live with someone, you don't even really know them.

Wow, that's a true compliment.

Hat Girl thanks you

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Wow, that's a true compliment.

Hat Girl thanks you

LOL

 

[GiveawayGirl]

LOL

Hey, I really meant it......

If you go back and look through this thread (and many others), from my perspective , it seems historically not many people agree with the girl in the hat

 

[midwestyankee]

And speaking of respectful disagreement........

To compare great loves throughout history isn't really a strong argument Yankster. Like all other historical reference, it is colored by perspective. Many generations of perspective and its influence.

As for long distance relationships, I don't know of any that really work long term. At some point the distance and lack of physical contact defeat them. I think it is idealistic to think any relationship can survive and grow without a healthy amount of sharing of physical space, touches, looks. The mind will fill in the gaps of what is missing on a regular basis and sooner or later reality will clash with that. Add the components of longing, loneliness, and frustration and it would require a herculean effort to maintain much less be successful.

But again, that's just a narrow view from beneath a hat

I'm not idealizing the great loves of the past, only pointing out that DLL's statement that sex is a necessary ingredient in love. Like so many absolutes, it fails under close inspection.

Now as for you, my hatted friend, your analysis of what happens in a long-distance relationship appears to be spot-on. It's that factor of the mind filling in the gaps of what's missing that is the hidden danger. Very good point.

 

[GiveawayGirl]

I'm not idealizing the great loves of the past, only pointing out that DLL's statement that sex is a necessary ingredient in love. Like so many absolutes, it fails under close inspection.

Now as for you, my hatted friend, your analysis of what happens in a long-distance relationship appears to be spot-on. It's that factor of the mind filling in the gaps of what's missing that is the hidden danger. Very good point.

My point was not that you were idealizing them, it has already been done for you through many years of interpetation