deep throat

[paisleyflower]

i no this has prolly been address ad nauseum, but i must no, specially for the womyn like me who have a well-endowed man... my man is 8 inches, my other man is 11 inches (no lie)... i think the 11 incher is pretty much out of the question, but how do i deep throat my man? i always gag when it gets barely down my throat. in the mouth, i'm the queen, but i wanna go deeper. tried throat-numbing stuff, but it numbed his dick 2!! how funny is that?! n-e-way, sum1 help me with this!

 

[Bobmi357]

foist ting yuz gotta do is praktise wif a bananna! Perzonally I tink a regula bananna wil do butt sum like to uz a bananna wif wip creme. Dat zounds mesy if uz ask me!

Afta da bananna, gradu8 to somting bigga, lika cantelope or pineapple. Wen uz can do dat, uz no longa haf a probllm.

 

[Nightbird]

Ok it's official I nearly passed out from not being able to breathe I was laughing so hard.

Paisley your an idiot.

 

[Quoll]

Bobmi you s.o.b that was mean, cruel, and so fucking funny I had tears streaming down my face.
Now I have to try and explain to my kids what was so funny.

 

[Kissophile]

Bobmi you s.o.b that was mean, cruel, and so fucking funny I had tears streaming down my face.
Now I have to try and explain to my kids what was so funny.

Know you don. Or, tell m it wuz funnee bcuz u thot it mite be the prez online.

 

[LadyG]

*COFFEESPEW*

Omigod...this is too funny! Actually, it's very sad, but funny too

 

[bobsgirl]

foist ting yuz gotta do is praktise wif a bananna! Perzonally I tink a regula bananna wil do butt sum like to uz a bananna wif wip creme. Dat zounds mesy if uz ask me!

Afta da bananna, gradu8 to somting bigga, lika cantelope or pineapple. Wen uz can do dat, uz no longa haf a probllm.

Oh, Bobmi, you horrible, wicked, funny man...

I almost choked on my bagel!

 

[Kissophile]

Oh, Bobmi, you horrible, wicked, funny man...

I almost choked on my bagel!

U 2?

 

[dollface007]

foist ting yuz gotta do is praktise wif a bananna! Perzonally I tink a regula bananna wil do butt sum like to uz a bananna wif wip creme. Dat zounds mesy if uz ask me!

Afta da bananna, gradu8 to somting bigga, lika cantelope or pineapple. Wen uz can do dat, uz no longa haf a probllm.

Dude, I just snorted!

BTW, for all you uber-critical people, I find Paisley's post to be a brilliant example of post-modern feminist prose...especially with the enlightened use of the word, "womyn," which has liberated me from my patriarchal male dominators and their pesky "correct" spelling of "wo-men." I feel better about my vagina just reading it.

 

[Kissophile]

Dude, I just snorted!

BTW, for all you uber-critical people, I find Paisley's post to be a brilliant example of post-modern feminist prose...especially with the enlightened use of the word, "womyn," which has liberated me from my patriarchal male dominators and their pesky "correct" spelling of "wo-men." I feel better about my vagina just reading it.

Dollface, perhaps you'd be willing to give us some insight into how you would deconstruct the subpseudopsychosexual symbolism in her prose?

 

[bobsgirl]

Dollface, perhaps you'd be willing to give us some insight into how you would deconstruct the subpseudopsychosexual symbolism in her prose?

Kiss, generally speaking, my brain cells manage to process your posts fairly competently. You lost me on "subpseudopsychological". It's a sad day in bobsgirl's world.

Dollface, brilliant insight into the patriarchal tyranny of the English language. My vagina and I thank you.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

I didn't think her spelling was all that bad! And my vagina feels better now too........ lol

And in answer to your question: practice practice practice. And you still may never be able to do it. 8" or 11" or what have you - may just be too damn big to deep throat.

 

[BlueSugar]

First you need to type out all of your words correctly or you will continue not to get any help with anything you might have a problem with. Stop using quick type AIM 16 yr old short hand.

Second, positioning is everything. Lay on your back with your head off the edge of the bed, lick them up so they're slick and have them slowly enter your mouth/throat. You need to relax EVERYTHING from your nose to your toes, or your gag reflex will kick in and you wont be able to do anything.
The other good position is when you're 69ing. There will be lots of drool, its part of the act so just let it happen, if you worry you will tense up and again you will gag.

Third, you're right this has been beaten dead, you can find it in The Blank Manual along with twelve dozen other topics, take a peek, I'm sure you'll like what you see

 

[paisleyflower]

thanks

appreciate the intelligence of your response, BlueSugar, although i can't say the same for the rest of the limp dicks who take pleasure in being cruel. i understand that it comes from people don't know how to address others as human beings, so i have to try my best to ignore it and continue to post here. i will take note of your suggestions and appreciate, so much more than i can express, your kindness. i will refrain from the creative style of writing (apologies to you if it annoyed you, i'm a Prince fan and sometimes enjoy writing like he does just to challenge the old conventions). i had no idea kids were doing it, i don't keep up with the 16-year-olds but apparently they post here frequently. what goes around comes around. i'm so exhausted trying to justify the moronic responses that took more brainpower than just mentioning something they didn't like in an adult manner. i should hope all new people aren't anally dry-raped with a spiky, splintery dildo like i was here.

 

[hotmelcpl]

One last tip that I find helpful apart from the good advice on positioning and practise ... when you feel his cock nearing your throat and start to feel the gag reflex come on, do a swallowing action as if you're swallowing a lump of air ... it seems to help to negate the gag reflex! Hope this helps!

 

[Quoll]

Re: thanks

appreciate the intelligence of your response, BlueSugar, although i can't say the same for the rest of the limp dicks who take pleasure in being cruel. i understand that it comes from people don't know how to address others as human beings, so i have to try my best to ignore it and continue to post here. i will take note of your suggestions and appreciate, so much more than i can express, your kindness. i will refrain from the creative style of writing (apologies to you if it annoyed you, i'm a Prince fan and sometimes enjoy writing like he does just to challenge the old conventions). i had no idea kids were doing it, i don't keep up with the 16-year-olds but apparently they post here frequently. what goes around comes around. i'm so exhausted trying to justify the moronic responses that took more brainpower than just mentioning something they didn't like in an adult manner. i should hope all new people aren't anally dry-raped with a spiky, splintery dildo like i was here.

Touche
Well replied. Have fun at Lit, we are not always this bad.
PS. If you like verbal sparring hop over to the GB you will do well.

 

[Bobmi357]

Re: thanks

doube post. Oops

BTW, my vagina didn't feel empowered, but Mr Stiffy did give a twitch or two.

 

[Bobmi357]

Re: thanks

appreciate the intelligence of your response, BlueSugar, although i can't say the same for the rest of the limp dicks who take pleasure in being cruel. i understand that it comes from people don't know how to address others as human beings, so i have to try my best to ignore it and continue to post here. i will take note of your suggestions and appreciate, so much more than i can express, your kindness. i will refrain from the creative style of writing (apologies to you if it annoyed you, i'm a Prince fan and sometimes enjoy writing like he does just to challenge the old conventions). i had no idea kids were doing it, i don't keep up with the 16-year-olds but apparently they post here frequently. what goes around comes around. i'm so exhausted trying to justify the moronic responses that took more brainpower than just mentioning something they didn't like in an adult manner. i should hope all new people aren't anally dry-raped with a spiky, splintery dildo like i was here.

No, most new posters are not anally dry raped with a spikey dildo. Occasionally however some post will scream "THIS IS POSTED BY A CHILD" like yours does, and is immediately set upon.

In this forum there are several types of people. Trolls which include the children that do not belong here and those merely looking for masturbation material, then there are those willing to act like adults. Which category of people does your post suggest you are?

If you want to be treated as an adult, you act as an adult. If you want to challenge conventions fine. But accept the concept that such challenges will have people labelling you as immature and childish. Especially if all they can see of you are some letters on a screen.

We are a very amoral bunch here. You could have come in and said you like screwing your neighbors dogs and most of us wouldn't have roasted you for it. But we do have a few steadfast rules.

1 NO KIDS ALLOWED.
2 NOTHING ILLEGAL.
3 TROLLS MUST DIE.

And frankly your posts screamed child. I'd suggest finding another way to be unconventional online if you don't want to see this repeated time in and time out where ever you go online.

 

[Quoll]

"anally dry raped with a spikey dildo."

Ooh what a nasty image that creates.

 

[JustSkye]

"anally dry raped with a spikey dildo."

Ooh what a nasty image that creates.

not to mention bringing the word "Ow" to mind!

 

[BlueSugar]

Re: thanks

appreciate the intelligence of your response, BlueSugar, although i can't say the same for the rest of the limp dicks who take pleasure in being cruel. i understand that it comes from people don't know how to address others as human beings, so i have to try my best to ignore it and continue to post here. i will take note of your suggestions and appreciate, so much more than i can express, your kindness. i will refrain from the creative style of writing (apologies to you if it annoyed you, i'm a Prince fan and sometimes enjoy writing like he does just to challenge the old conventions). i had no idea kids were doing it, i don't keep up with the 16-year-olds but apparently they post here frequently. what goes around comes around. i'm so exhausted trying to justify the moronic responses that took more brainpower than just mentioning something they didn't like in an adult manner. i should hope all new people aren't anally dry-raped with a spiky, splintery dildo like i was here.

Typing internet short hand, as commented on above is seen as childish and is usually ignored. Comments such like your last sentence is also looked down upon.
Just be polite and well spoken here, flirt.. whatever. Just don't be childish and stupid and everyone will get along.
I usually give people the benefit of the doubt until they are really messing around on the boards and it is obvious that they shouldn't be here.

Enjoy your stay and time spent here, just be careful. Some of the other boards are best suited for a quick tongue lashing and cat fights, others are better for excessive flirtying and games. The How To is to get help and enjoy some peace in the safe zone. We know that it takes alot to ask questions, let alone about ones sex life so we try our best to pussy foot around things or give it to a person straight if we feel they are in a bad situation. And they're right, you could be fucking your dog and we're a ton more receptive to point a person in the right direction to help them out, rather then getting on another board and getting ridiculed for anything taboo.

But we do have our lines.
No children (imature questions, posting styles)
No trolls (flame wars, cat fights etc...)
No illegal happenings (children fucking, murder etc...)

You saw how your short hand was responded to, and its simple to change it to show that you aren't an imature teen, which you did So don't jump to conclusions and feel free to lurk on Lit to see the flow of each board.