Decline in cognitive function

[Dr_Strabismus]

That's not what I wrote. I asked rhetorically why the hell anyone would be motivated to write them. Seems like there's plenty of that around.

Whelp, sometimes we just like to feel good about sex.

But yeah, when it comes to stories, I personally go for the more challenging and thought-provoking reads. There are a few here, about the same proportion as there are interesting people in the real world.

 

[KeithD]

It never ceases to amaze me how judgmental people get about other people's stories.

Tilt. The OP requested judgment. Exactly that.

I could see a story passing, but that would depend on how "with it" each party is when they consented/did it. That isn't made clear by the OP, so my "judgment" on whether Laurel would post the story would depend on what's actually in the story. If the patient doesn't have control over her/his mental faculties when the sex happens, it's not just nonconsent, it's rape. It is/would be Laurel's call. I wouldn't call it out if she accepted it into the file.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

It could be written well, taking the consent issue head-on. Lady likes young male carer, may think he's her childhood sweetheart or her neighbour or someone, or simply not be able to remember who he is, but knows she's up for it and wants him.

Consent requires to have capacity, but certainly under English law, capacity should be assessed for every decision. I'd happily read a story where young carer asks older doctor for advice, and the doc interviews the woman who admits she's not 100% sure who the lad is, but she is sure he's not her son, "He isn't, is he?" "No, he's not." "Well then, we're both adults! What's the problem? Trust me, I can remember which bits go where!" (makes pass at the doctor for good measure, doc has to confirm there are people the lady wouldn't actually go for and she does still have self-control). Could be hilarious, even before she starts teaching the young guy everything she's learned in her life.

There's also authors who would fetishize the elderly body or clearly get off on the dodgy consent issues, who I wouldn't want to read.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Apropos to not quite anything, some of the highest STD rates are found in the elderly in long-term care facilities.

 

[SimonDoom]

Tilt. The OP requested judgment. Exactly that.

I could see a story passing, but that would depend on how "with it" each party is when they consented/did it. That isn't made clear by the OP, so my "judgment" on whether Laurel would post the story would depend on what's actually in the story. If the patient doesn't have control over her/his mental facilities when the sex happens, it's not just nonconsent, it's rape. It is/would be Laurel's call. I wouldn't call it out if she accepted it into the file.

I don't think he's asking, "Is this wrong in the real world?" I think he knows the answer to that. He's asking, "Should I write this? and/or Will it get by the Literotica content standards?"

The only helpful question to answer is the third one. The OP doesn't need anyone's opinion about what's moral in the real world, because he probably knows that already and it's irrelevant to whether he "should" write his story. People publish stories every day about people doing immoral things. You can turn the TV on at night and see that.

Some people may think it's appropriate to tell an author whether he "should" write something, but I don't think you fall into that camp any more than I do. It's one of the things that, despite our occasional disagreements, we seem to agree on.

The relevant question is the third one. The right answer, I think, is that it's likely to get by Laurel's gatekeeping standards, so long as the story is presented in the right way to get by the acceptable nonconsent test, and at the same time there is a fair possibility of some negative commentary by readers, so the author should expect that, and decide for himself if he doesn't mind the prospect for flak.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Safe stuff? Hell, this is Lit. If U dont like it, dont read it.

Agreed. I have written some pretty nasty stuff and some very tender romance. I don't feel I should have to justify either.

 

[drobert44]

Agreed. I have written some pretty nasty stuff and some very tender romance. I don't feel I should have to justify either.

Exactly, Lit is sposed to be about free speech. I see the racists, mysoginists, Q anon idiots........ignore them.

 

[nice90sguy]

Free, as in free beer, as in free Tibet. Basically it's GNU erotica

 

[RoperTrace]

I’m conducting a straw poll. I have an idea for a story about a devoted young male nurse and an old woman who is suffering a certain ‘unsoundness of mind’. Can I please have your opinions? Is this too taboo? Stories about mature love are my preference and usually I don’t have any moral qualms. This ones making me think though... Is dementia a bridge to far?

As someone who is currently dealing with my sister's dementia, who was also an RN, it would be over the line in my case. But there was a time, that I thought incest stories were over the line, and now I read my share of them also. People with mental disabilities are a bridge too far for me.

 

[Euphony]

It could be written well, taking the consent issue head-on. Lady likes young male carer, may think he's her childhood sweetheart or her neighbour or someone, or simply not be able to remember who he is, but knows she's up for it and wants him.

This was my, admittedly optimistic take on the author's creative intentions. If they were conflicted, I assumed they'd write a respectful "literary conversation" on the issues giving us interesting food for thought to process determining where we fall on the spectrum.

There's also authors who would fetishize the elderly body or clearly get off on the dodgy consent issues, who I wouldn't want to read.

This is the worse case scenario I'd want no part of.

What I thought an interesting riff was her inability to conceptualize her age. Scenario can set up she isn't confronted , in the same way we all are, with the hundreds of daily cognitive and social reminders of what we are (age, desirability, sexual freedom or inhibitions, etc.)

Exploring how much of a woman's sexual expression comes from remembered experience and is either supported or short circuited by her physical body feels like more unique but fertile soil for a determined farmer.

 

[KeithD]

I don't think he's asking, "Is this wrong in the real world?"

Nor did my posts infer that. All of my posts have addressed it in terms of being posted to Literotica. I see that this isn't going anywhere and it's not my issue. I responded to the question the OP asked, rather than what you want to interpret from it. It quite clearly asked for a judgment.

 

[peteh57]

Whelp, sometimes we just like to feel good about sex.

But yeah, when it comes to stories, I personally go for the more challenging and thought-provoking reads. There are a few here, about the same proportion as there are interesting people in the real world

 

[Seadog777]

You can write it; Laurel determines whether it gets posted to Literotica, though.

Very true. That's why I didn't say anything about it getting published here.

I only mentioned that he/she can write anything they want.
If an individual doesn't like it, then that's on them and they don't read it.
However, knowing Lit, IF it does get published, it'll get one bombed.

 

[Voboy]

The dear old lady will be eccentric, not demented.
Difference is people with a mental illness suffer from their behavior, while eccentrics are quite happy. They’re aware of their unusual behaviour they just don’t care. It’s perfect.

Can she give consent?
Can you make that consent clear to the reader?

If there are two “yes” answers, then submit and see what happens. If either is a “no?” Then don‘t.

 

[peteh57]

Thanks everyone. I think the general consensus is go for it. As with most contentious issues people typically go for the pendulum swing approach, either wholeheartedly in favour of anything goes or stringently apposed to anything that confronts ‘agreed’ norms. The truth is always somewhere in between.
Just because my old woman is sexually active and a bit crazy doesn’t mean she’s got dementia.

 

[Britva415]

The dear old lady will be eccentric, not demented.
Difference is people with a mental illness suffer from their behavior, while eccentrics are quite happy. They’re aware of their unusual behaviour they just don’t care. It’s perfect.

The real problem with dementia is distinct from both eccentricity and mental illness.

A demented elder can be all three of these things, or only two of them, or only demented.

The reason dementia is far more problematic than either mental illness or eccentricity is informed consent.

The actual meaning of dementia according to alz.org (alzheimers advocacy) is

impaired ability to remember, think, or make decisions that interferes with doing everyday activities

"Senile" people may not remember where they are. When it is. Who they are. Who you are.

Informed consent seems utterly impossible with this condition, depending on its severity.

But what the hey, we have a whole category for NonCon.

I just wouldn't put it in Mature.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Apropos to not quite anything, some of the highest STD rates are found in the elderly in long-term care facilities.

When my grandpa went into a care home, there was him, one other guy, and 48 women. And all the women were bored of the other guy.

They fought over him. Free plot bunny for y'all...

 

[Dearelliot]

Great idea sounds interesting.

 

[Euphony]

When my grandpa went into a care home, there was him, one other guy, and 48 women. And all the women were bored of the other guy.

They fought over him. Free plot bunny for y'all...

"And Bingo was his name Ooh."
An old G69's his way through a Free (for all) Space.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thanks everyone. I think the general consensus is go for it. As with most contentious issues people typically go for the pendulum swing approach, either wholeheartedly in favour of anything goes or stringently apposed to anything that confronts ‘agreed’ norms. The truth is always somewhere in between.
Just because my old woman is sexually active and a bit crazy doesn’t mean she’s got dementia.

I think the problem here is that you mentioned dementia in your opening post, whereas what I think you meant was, "She's got a few loose marbles" in the non clinical sense, "so Is it okay to write about loose screws?" Thus combining separate euphemisms but avoiding what might be distasteful to some.

I think it would come down to how sensitively you handle the subject matter; but for me personally, It would be hard to be erotic - having had a parent die of old age (but not dementia).

 

[ElectricBlue]

When my grandpa went into a care home, there was him, one other guy, and 48 women. And all the women were bored of the other guy.

They fought over him. Free plot bunny for y'all...

Something similar, but no sex: one old fellow I heard about would be the Admiral of the Kaiser's Navy one day, Admiral of the English High Fleet the next. His son never knew from one day to the next which one he was, because he only had one uniform. But he always said his dad was happy, and the nurses got used to battle stations.

 

[TheRedChamber]

If I were writing this, I'd probably make the drama about the uncertainty.

Instead of having a nurse (who should be more in tune with the issues) - have the older woman living at home and have the younger guy doing jobs for her and getting sexually involved thinking everythings fine. She starts by occassionally forgetting things and seems to have good days and bad days, and maybe the male MC decides not to get involved on 'bad days'. He then discovers that he and her husband share the same first name, leading to him to re-evaluate some of the 'good days' and realize that its not really possible to have this relatonship. Write the thing over the period of months where her condition is deteriorating. Give them an emotional 'erotic fairwell' where she's suddenly more lucid and then have him regularly visit and comfort her (non-sexually obviously) when she goes into long-term care.

 

[yukonnights]

I get that what you're aiming for is a love story, and with kind a sad tragic angle because the person this man is falling in love with at some point is going to mentally cease to exist as he knows her

But I feel this is going to come across as walking a fine line with consent. If she's slipping mentally, can she really give full consent? Is this taking advantage as someone else pointed out? I don't feel that's you intent, but a lot of people may read into that way.

If this were a non sexual story and the love simply love without physical consummation this may really play and tug the heart strings "what can never fully be" but if there's sex involved...it just doesn't sit right to me

That's my opinion though, which you asked for., but in the end you're free to give it a go.

Agree here. I have one story that includes the inevitable fading of our mental awareness. Actually, it's entitled; Fading Memories. The story follows a couple from college age to the last years of life. The story brought tears to my eyes as I wrote the ending and the comments had some of the same response (as I recall — fading memories, eh?) Bottom line, if it's done with thoughtful consideration, such a story can be a treasure to someone who is involved with an older person in their fading years. Such a story is about "our personal loss" of the loved one we've known for so long. Dementia is a common reality for millions of people. Make it bittersweet and it'll probably touch hearts and foster/prompt some deeper thinking by those who read it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Agree here. I have one story that includes the inevitable fading of our mental awareness. Actually, it's entitled; Fading Memories. The story follows a couple from college age to the last years of life. The story brought tears to my eyes as I wrote the ending and the comments had some of the same response (as I recall — fading memories, eh?) Bottom line, if it's done with thoughtful consideration, such a story can be a treasure to someone who is involved with an older person in their fading years. Such a story is about "our personal loss" of the loved one we've known for so long. Dementia is a common reality for millions of people. Make it bittersweet and it'll probably touch hearts and foster/prompt some deeper thinking by those who read it.

Seconded. One of mine is about dementia (though I didn't directly explore the consent question raised in this thread) and the reader reaction matched what you're saying here.

There was a thread a while back that asked similar questions about consent with characters who were over 18 but mentally impaired. That one was focussed on younger adults with congenital conditions rather than age/dementia, but might be some relevant discussion there: https://forum.literotica.com/thread...ly-challenged-person-child-sex-abuse.1527371/