In medias res v. once upon a time

[caleb35]

I didn't say it was a GOOD story.

"I started [the bible]... but then I skipped to the end and it ruined it for me." -- Carla, Scrubs

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Returning briefly to the Bible, it is, perhaps, just one story told many many ways:

"God creates man. Everything man does gets God angry." (National Lampoon, many years ago)

 

[caleb35]

Over the past few months I've engaged in a few discussions about where to start a story. Sooner or later they tend to become confused when I talk about "inciting incident" and someone else talks about "in medias res". So maybe we can have a thread devoted specifically to these issues and how we interpret them..

First, in medias res. Literally this means "in the middle of things". Yes, I had three years of Latin at school. In terms of storytelling, it means "skip the intro and get to the good bits." Start in the thick of things. A commonly used example is the Iliad. The poet defines at the start what story he's telling: "Sing, oh Goddess, of the wrath of Peleus's son Achilles..." (yes, I had five years of Greek at school too). The Iliad isn't the story of the Trojan War: it begins with Agamemnon pissing off Achilles, and Achilles going into a sulk. But the poet doesn't give the background, he doesn't explain the reasons for besieging Troy. No: here we are, this is what's happening.

This is what I mean by an inciting incident too. That's the phrase I've come across in books about fiction writing. It means: "Here's the trigger that sets the story in motion." Where you place that inciting incident depends on what story you're telling. If you were telling the story of the Trojan War, you could begin with the Rape of Helen (rape in the old-fashioned sense), or with the wooing of Helen by the Greek princess and the oath that they swear, or with Paris's choice between the three goddesses, or even with Leda coming home from bathing in the river and saying, "Honest, it wasn't that handsome goatherd, it was Zeus in the shape of a swan!" Whichever of these incidents you choose will affect what story you're telling.

On the opposite end you have stories that begin with background information. The basic fairy tale formula of "Once upon a time there was a magical land, and that land was ruled by a beautiful Queen, and that Queen lived in a beautiful castle on top of a mountain, and in that castle there lived also a pigherd who was hung like a centaur, and one day the Queen bore twin children, a daughter who resembled her mother and a son who resembled the Queen's new pageboy, who used to look after the pigs, and when those children grew up they went on a journey to the Land of Exposition...". In literary works, the one that springs to my mind is Beowulf: "So anyway, we've all heard of the Spear-Danes in days gone by, and Scyld Shaefing and his descendants until we get to Hrothgar, who built a mighty hall that pissed off his neighbour because of permitting issues..."

Of course this can be tricky. The first Star Wars movie famously begins with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...", which is essentially the same as "Once upon a time". But then the scroll starts, and we're pitched straight into a Galactic civil war, without knowing what's going on beyond the immediate picture of stolen information and deadly pursuit. The inciting incident, or the trigger for the events of the movie, is Leia sending R2-D2 off to find Obi-Wan. The Skywalker Saga as a whole starts much earlier - with trade wars and lightsaber negotiations - but those aren't the story being told in Ep. IV.

I wrote two stories for Dark Fairy Tales: Hag-Ridden: A Fairy Tale, and Black Boots To Meet The King. Ostensibly, they both begin with the "Once upon a time" opening:


and:


But "Hag-Ridden" has half a Lit page about a witch cursing the King and Queen and the land, and about the Princes, before we get to the action. If I'd started in medias res, I'd have skipped all that and gone with, "Two princes went out hunting one day...". That's where the action kicks off.

"Black Boots" jumps to the action immediately. The third paragraph begins, "One day, one such a stranger walked into the cobbler's workshop." This is the inciting incident for the story: the cobbler is asked to make boots, the lady wears them to seduce the King. A proper "Once upon a time" would have first explained that the King was unmarried, but he'd called all the ladies in the land to his castle so he could choose his bride. In this version, we don't get this information until a third of the way through.

So those are my thoughts on in medias res, inciting incidents and fairy tale openings, or at least how to define them. How you use them, and when, depends on what story you want to tell, and how you're telling it.

Thoughts? Opinions? Suggestions? Examples?

Three years of Latin and five years of Greek?? Omnes, ecce hunc hominem. Were these in different schools or did you spend five years (or more) in uni?

You raise some interesting points (and there are some excellent comments in this thread from multiple people) that got me thinking. In my writing, I interpret in media res as after some events or choices, but before the choices that the main character(s) confront that really interest me. In other words, I open between choices, hoping that I've skipped the less interesting choice to focus on the more interesting one. For example, in my story, "Aphrodite's Law," I open with Diana in her costume, not with her initial decision to go as Wonder Woman, and before her decision to go off with Thea. In "Roles," I start the story after Luanne had already decided to go on a date with the casting director, but before she decides to go home with her. In "With Iron Teeth," I open with the knight already on his quest, but before he agrees to the witch's challenge.

It's not a hard-fast rule and I think that's the case for most writers. You start your story where you think it works best, or where it captures the particular idea/scene you have in mind. In "Catching Up," I kind of start it at the beginning in one sense, when April runs into Ruby unexpectedly. But in that work, I leave their entire previous relationship as backstory, revealing only glimpses of it through recollection. Conversely, in "The Request," I built the entire story off of in media res -- the entire story takes place after the request, with the actual request itself never stated.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Three years of Latin and five years of Greek?? Omnes, ecce hunc hominem. Were these in different schools or did you spend five years (or more) in uni?

I'm not @StillStunned, but:

• You can take language courses before Uni, and
• You can take courses in two languages at the same time

--Annie

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Once upon a time we were in the middle of things, and whether it was the aroma of madeleines baking or of Madeleine’s baking, it would still evoke a remembrance of things past in the present to be concluded in the future. Concluded? We’re more likely to find ourselves a way a lone a last a loved a long the riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from where we can take the Via Vico and ring-a-round the Liffey to arrive back at that castle where once upon a time lived an unmarried king who must be in the middle of the black boots things, as surely as Agamemnon pissed off Achilles in the middle of Leda putting on his knowledge with his power before the indifferent beak could let her drop. Anything is always in media res, and I’m still stunned that we can find our inciting incidents in past, present, or future, but seem to be short of the continuative tense for storytelling, or perhaps we be able to overcome it.

 

[FrancesScott]

The worst openings here on Lit area those that start, "When I went home on summer break..."

When I came back from the East Coast in Spring, I felt that I wanted the World to be a simpler place. A safer place, away from the riotous emotional trauma that had left me with a heart that was in urgent need of reassembly. That is, assuming that all its pieces could even be located with any surety.

It was the first warm day, and the daffodils and crocuses were beginning to advertise their vibrant arrival. With the Sun bright in a flawless, azure sky, I'd determined to take a trip out to Mezny's. It wasn't far, and everyone who was anyone said that they made the best ice cream in the state. With the crystallIne lens of retrospection, there was also an, at the time barely acknowledged, element of revivifying my younger days. Quite simply, it had been one of my favorite things to do when growing up in the area.

 

[StillStunned]

When I came back from the East Coast in Spring, I felt that I wanted the World to be a simpler place. A safer place, away from the riotous emotional trauma that had left me with a heart that was in urgent need of reassembly. That is, assuming that all its pieces could even be located with any surety.

It was the first warm day, and the daffodils and crocuses were beginning to advertise their vibrant arrival. With the Sun bright in a flawless, azure sky, I'd determined to take a trip out to Mezny's. It wasn't far, and everyone who was anyone said that they made the best ice cream in the state. With the crystallIne lens of retrospection, there was also an, at the time barely acknowledged, element of revivifying my younger days. Quite simply, it had been one of my favorite things to do when growing up in the area.

This seems to work as an in medias res. Unless the next paragraph is "I'd been away at uni for three years now, and I was curious to see the town where I grew up." Followed by the narrator's life story and a history of the town.

 

[Britva415]

I'm not @StillStunned

@NoLongerStunned

 

[Britva415]

This seems to work as an in medias res. Unless the next paragraph is "I'd been away at uni for three years now, and

It doesn't matter what comes after the "and." The past-perfect employed this way makes my skin crawl.

 

[StillStunned]

It doesn't matter what comes after the "and." The past-perfect employed this way makes my skin crawl.

Why? To me it seems the only tense that fits. As long as you write the rest of the infodump in the simple past, and don't keep repeating the past perfect/pluperfect in every sentence.

 

[FrancesScott]

This seems to work as an in medias res. Unless the next paragraph is "I'd been away at uni for three years now, and I was curious to see the town where I grew up." Followed by the narrator's life story and a history of the town.

The soulless interstate was quicker, but I opted for the slower, but more picturesque, route. I soon left the tarnished gilt of the city's railroad-era buildings behind, and drove down empty, winding roads laced between sparse houses, scattered woods, and open farmland. The vistas and the buildings were all etched into my mind, evocative of an earlier and more tranquil time.

In not more than twenty minutes, the distinctive dark blue silos of my dairy destination appeared over the newly decked tree-tops. The lot was a turbid tumult of parked and parking vehicles; ones generally suited to the accommodation of families. The good weather had clearly prompted the same idea in others as it had in me. But I nevertheless found a slot and joined the lengthy line in the shop. I must have been the only person not to be accompanied by their kids.

There were two servers behind the counter. Taking orders, filling paper cups, erecting edifices of infeasibly high ice cream based on sturdy conical foundations. The boy - he was obviously a boy, he looked like a highschooler - had curly hair and glasses; his complexion lent weight to my estimation of his age.

The woman? Yes woman, I had hesitated, but it was the appropriate nomenclature, if perhaps a title she had acquired only recently, and wore with some uncertainty. I thought I knew her. It had been three years since I had been in these parts for anything beyond a mandatory and fleeting Christmas visit, and yet I was convinced that it was her.

 

[Soixenta]

There were two servers behind the counter. Taking orders, filling paper cups, erecting edifices of infeasibly high ice cream based on sturdy conical foundations. The boy - he was obviously a boy, he looked like a highschooler - had curly hair and glasses; his complexion lent weight to my estimation of his age.

The woman? Yes woman, I had hesitated, but it was the appropriate nomenclature, if perhaps a title she had acquired only recently, and wore with some uncertainty. I thought I knew her. It had been three years since I had been in these parts for anything beyond a mandatory and fleeting Christmas visit, and yet I was convinced that it was her.

In my new WIP I have the line: "A pair of kids barely out of pimples stood behind the counter."

 

[FrancesScott]

In my new WIP I have the line: "A pair of kids barely out of pimples stood behind the counter."

A more economic style than mine (albeit I am intentionally exaggerating it in the above).

 

[Soixenta]

There is a bit more to my description:

The coffee place was empty, as Jenny had thought it would be. A pair of kids barely out of pimples stood behind the counter. Talking, and perhaps flirting. They looked round as she came in.

“Hi, how can I help you?” The girl was older than she looked from a distance. Out of school, at least, but with the soft face of a sheltered life. The boy beside her was the same age, and seemed to be in charge. Typical.

“Tea.” Jenny didn’t bother to smile. Just say what she wanted, and get out. Be ready to run.

The girl turned to one of the machines with barely a glance at her. The boy busied himself with a drawer. It was clear that they felt Jenny was inconveniencing them.

 

[FrancesScott]

There is a bit more to my description:

Work in progress or published?

 

[TheWritingGroup]

There is a bit more to my description:

Work in progress or published?

Hey, @Soixenta, I think that opening works.

 

[Soixenta]

In progress. I am faintly optimistic I will finish it in time for the Halloween Contest deadline.

To bring this back on topic, the story begins with the main character dying.

 

[Soixenta]

Hey, @Soixenta, I think that opening works.

Thank you! But it's not the opening. I read FrancesScott's description, and it reminded me of what I was typing just yesterday.

The actual opening:

Jenny was dying and she didn’t give a fuck. It couldn’t happen fast enough. Should have died long ago, should never have been born perhaps. A handful of happy memories as a child couldn’t brighten the gloom and misery that lay over her entire life.

Edit: all these names are confusing.

 

[StillStunned]

To bring this back on topic, the story begins with the main character dying.

The actual opening:

This seems to be pretty much in medias res. Not a "once upon a time" beginning, in any case.

 

[Britva415]

Why? To me it seems the only tense that fits. As long as you write the rest of the infodump in the simple past, and don't keep repeating the past perfect/pluperfect in every sentence.

Me personally, I have two problems with this.

First, it's still an info dump. With regard to story and narrative structure, that does not solve the issue of it being pluperfect in time just because the writer contrives to not use the pluperfect tense when disrupting a present scene to tell it.

You're "not-wr0ng:" It's the tense which fits if you must make your revelations this way.

But, second, I find it clumsy to use past-perfect this way at all, even if it's just for that first instance. There definitely are unobjectionable ways to use it, I'm not saying All Pluperfect Are Bad. But this way, to me, shrieks "amateur" and is a signal that there are likely to be other flaws in the piece. That's the main, but not the only, thing which makes me not like seeing and reading it.

To organize the story in such a way that the same information is conveyed without having to interrupt the immediacy of the unfolding narrative by telling what "had" happened earlier—to organize a story this way is much less clumsy, it's more elegant in terms of flow, it's less obtrusive in terms of the way I come to learn that past detail, and basically doesn't suck.

Except for the thought and care which might have to into it. It probably feels unnatural to people who don't have a lot of experience with revising (re-drafting). Whereas on the other hand, spamming "hads" or interjecting a slab of backstory marked by one "had" at the beginning do feel natural, because that's how we would do it when we talk.

Except we don't even talk that way, really. When we're talking, instead of writing, we do find ways to just narrate without it sounding and feeling this clumsy.

Spamming "hads" or writing a whole-ass scene marked by that first "had" is totally fine while first-drafting. But a good revision, in my opinion, would rearrange things so that the information comes out in the immediate narrative, or a less intrusive side narrative of its own, rather than having to switch to past-perfect or a flashback in the middle of events in progress. (Or the beginning, amirite)

It's a square peg in a round hole. In my opinion, a craftsperson fixes that, instead of calling it "done" and shipping it with that ill-fitting joint.

 

[SamanthaBehgs]

I find myself wondering if anyone on this thread watches the YouTube channel Overly Sarcastic Productions. Many of the topics that have been coming up in here overlap with some of the "Trope Talks" videos on that channel and I think some could find them interesting if you don't already watch. Not that they'd guide your writing, necessarily. Just some good fun to watch.

 

[Zootonius]

The worst openings here on Lit area those that start, "When I went home on summer break..." Those are an immediate back click for me, because there will be multiple paragraphs of irrelevant back story, unnecessary detail, info dumps, people mentioned but you don't know whether you're meant to remember them or not.

Start when they story starts, but not before.

I'll say that my story The Summer Job, pretty much starts that very way. It quickly moves to why the protagonist is avoiding a real job. So never say never.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

Can we all agree that on Literotica, starting your series with a "This is background for my series" non-story in Non-Erotic is not going to gain you a following?

--Annie "Yes, in today's New Stories feed"