Death and writing

[Lauren Hynde]

I don't find it dirsturbing. I do find it to be a sorry topic to write about.

I'm not sure what you mean, Joe. "A sorry topic to write about." Is it a topic that invariably makes you feel nostalgic when you write about it?

I realise you weren't making a value judgement on it.

 

[Samandiriel]

My story has the implication of death in it and the emotions it brings on as well as the memories.

Life, sex, death.....they are a part of us, of our cycle.

I have not experienced it first hand as a participant but I have been touched by it and the kaliedescope of emotions it brings with it. Yet, I cannot imagine existence without it.

To not experience loss is to never know how dear things are to you and how fragile life is.

 

[CharleyH]

To not experience loss is to never know how dear things are to you and how fragile life is.

Ahhh FINALLY, beauty of death.

 

[gauchecritic]

Gonna be a bit bold here. I forgot my mothers death, and her birthday for the first time in 8 years since she died of breast cancer - girls please remember to get checked! I was busy. Too busy, and forgot. Today being my Dad's birthday, and his one year death coming up in May, I am a little nostalgic, and emotional. Please excuse me. AND NO SORRIES!

Those of you who have seen death or experienced it, do you write of it or want to? Or is death like religion, to have experienced, but we don't speak of?

I know Imp wrote a wonderful Xmas story this past year, and (correct me if wrong) it was non-erotic ... so if you are an erotic writer, and thats what you are, do you do homage to death in an erotic story, no matter if a mother, father, family or stranger? Does it suit eroticism as an off shoot (NOT talking cronnenberg here )

I've only ever written a poem which is about death, actually more about how I felt about it, non-erotic and still very emotional to me (just re-read it) all in all it was a good thing to do, a release. "Challenge"

Speaking from a purely philosophical point of view, as long as we include a male orgasm then we are at least acknowledging La Petite Mort.

There are probably several ways to include death in an erotic work, maybe the "Love Story" method of sudden loss, or frantic, life affirming sex of expected death, perhaps the last pleasure given to a fatal sufferer. Doubt if I'll be writing one of them.

 

[Samandiriel]

Ahhh FINALLY, beauty of death.

It has it's merits.
We see it as finality, decay and diseased when it's a reclaimation of the spirit. A continuation, if you believe in such dogma, a circle that has no end.
Biologically it knows what its supposed to do, it's a break down of matter and that is what we equate it with...but the beauty lies in the rememberence, the dedication, the displaying of flowers ,of presenting the body with reverence.

It's magikal in the fact that it makes us understand our immortality and question what we cannot at this time comprehend.

 

[yui]

Those of you who have seen death or experienced it, do you write of it or want to? Or is death like religion, to have experienced, but we don't speak of?

I wrote a great deal about death after my brother was killed. I was sixteen, and after he was killed, "death" held an even greater morbid fascination for me than it did for most teens. Not a sexual one, but it was very powerful.

The only way I knew how to give voice to the loss wailing inside my head, the absolute fear at my realization of my own mortality, was to write about it. In fact, when I read anything that I wrote into my very early twenties, there is a thread of death through it all.

Exactly how I was altered by his death is something that I have no way to measure. It changed me. It changed my family. It changed the dynamics of my entire world. All my constants were gone. Doors that were once open to me were closed. Paths that I may have taken were suddenly gone. Everything shifted. There was no way to get things back to the way that they were, because we weren’t the same people when we came out of the other side of his death.

There is awesome power in death. In this plane, it is final. It is absolute. The wheel turns and everything changes. Everything. Death can freeze life in a moment of time. It idealizes. I mean, really, what might have been?

So, yeah, sometimes I write about death.

Luck to all,

Yui

 

[rgraham666]

Considering my mood, reading a thread about death may not be a bright idea.

 

[CharleyH]

I've only ever written a poem which is about death, actually more about how I felt about it, non-erotic and still very emotional to me (just re-read it) all in all it was a good thing to do, a release. "Challenge"

Speaking from a purely philosophical point of view, as long as we include a male orgasm then we are at least acknowledging La Petite Mort.

LOL, Uh huh You are beautiful, thanks

 

[CharleyH]

It has it's merits.
We see it as finality, decay and diseased when it's a reclaimation of the spirit. A continuation, if you believe in such dogma, a circle that has no end.
Biologically it knows what its supposed to do, it's a break down of matter and that is what we equate it with...but the beauty lies in the rememberence, the dedication, the displaying of flowers ,of presenting the body with reverence.

It's magikal in the fact that it makes us understand our immortality and question what we cannot at this time comprehend.

Ya know, all I can do is smile at you and love you up You are impossible!

 

[SeaCat]

I haven't written a story about death per se, at least not yet. I have just finished a story dealing with death in a way, editing it now.

Much on the same token I am writing a story about a woman possibly facing death through a disease and her reaction to it.

Having faced death myself both through the loss of loved ones and injuries to myself, I do not find death to be a taboo subject. The emotions death and the facing of it engenders can be highly intense. Intense emotions can be highly erotic at times. It all depends on how one deals with them.

Cat

 

[sweetnpetite]

Death is one of those events that pulls everything into focus, gives you a brief moment of clarity.

Death would be great to use in a character driven story although perhaps not in a plot driven one?-- what do you think?

 

[Samandiriel]

Ya know, all I can do is smile at you and love you up You are impossible!

Are we having a carebear moment?

 

[Liar]

From one who have on several occations witnessed the death of strangers, and the death of myself (lost, faded, gone, then resuscitated), but never actually the loss of anyone close to me, my perspective on the whole thing is pretty different from most.

I can write, and have done so, about the mechanics of it. Both from a medical point of view, and from a psychological of the person dying. Something I have observed both from the outside and from the inside.

But apart from what I've seen in movies and read in books, I have no perspective to write about it from the griever's point of view. I guess it will happen sooner or later. I'm rooting for later.

Edited to add: Death on erotica? If it's nessecary for the plot leading to the humping. Death as an erotic factor? Not my kink.

#L

 

[elsol]

On another forum... I had someone SLAM me for writing about death in erotica. His argument was that this is suppossed to be porn, yadda-yadda-yadda.

This was only in discussing that I don't do sequels because inevitably I end up killing a character off to 'jump-start' a new story.

I think NOT to include death in your stories somewhere is to stick your head in the ground and scream 'La-La-La! I'm not listening to you!'

The totality of your work will lack something meaningful in human experience.

It's like when I read female robot sex stories, and there's no real women in them. I'm like 'Uh hello! How about a sister, a mother, a daughter... give me something!' In one story, it can be understood but when you've written 10-20 fembot story and not one human female touches any page, the lack thereof becomes noticeable.

As to 'removing' the erotic element, fucking is life affirming as least if you're doing it right.

I had to drive an ex-girlfriend home because her grandmother died, but 'unfortunately' right before we were suppossed to leave I was SUPER-FUCKING-HORNY, like in one of those horny-fugue states where you libido is the only thing doing the talking. It put me in a state of mind where I didn't give a fuck that she was feeling sad, etc; I was getting mine and she was going to take it.

Moral of the story: Later on I 'tried' to apologize; she laughed and told me to feel free to be equally demanding the entire weekend.






Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Dar~]

No thanks babe, It (story) stands out. My mom was very impactful on my sex life. Very open, and taught me to take power in my own body. Are peoples parents like this? Or are those idiocyncrasies of "oh god, I dont want to know, mom! PLEASE." True. Do our parents influence out thoughts of sex, writing or otherwise?

From birth on my mom was totally open with us about sex and choices and sexuality. If we saw two women holding hands she just explained that they loved each other like a mommy and a daddy love each other. And in my tweenage years, I had a friend who had two moms. My mother has always answered all my qustions honestly about how that was possible. HEr thing wa salways how people live is none of her business. she was very nonjudging. It has sincerely impacted my realization of my Bisexuality and the okay-ness of it.

 

[CharleyH]

deleted

I like your take, Joe, sad to see you delete, especially on a thread of mine, where your take is welcome

 

[sweetnpetite]

Death is one of those events that pulls everything into focus, gives you a brief moment of clarity. It's a magifyer. I totally think that death could be at the center of an erotic (or romantic) story. It doesn't have to be violent or gross or anything.

I was watching Ed today and a guy died at the bolling alley. Then the guy (Phil) who worked there did this big memorial thing and one of his co-workers said, "This memorial is all about Phil." It got me thinking. Memorials and funerals are about the attendies [as much as, if not more than the person who has died], and they represent different things to different people there. [I think death always brings up old baggage and unfinished business with other loved ones we've lost- and sometimes those we haven't] It would make a great backdrop for a story. (erotic or otherwise). I think a funeral- or a death is an excellent opportunity to really explore your characters.

so....

death would be great to use in a character driven story although perhaps not in a plot driven one?-- what do you think?

 

[Samandiriel]

This thread did not die.

 

[yui]

This thread did not die.

Do not stand on this thread and cry.
It is not here. It did not die.

 

[Samandiriel]

Do not stand on this thread and cry.
It is not here. It did not die.

I weep bitter tears not for the thread,
I understand it maybe one day dead,
my heart is heavy from lack of discussion,
which in turn is the reason for its inability for percussion.

 

[sweetnpetite]

This thread did not die.

was it supposed too?

was thinking about a friend who died today. Then I walked past a place were another group I belonged to used to meet. Got to thinking about impermance, and all the things and people I miss.

Not erotic. Just sad. And real. And true.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I'm concidering a career as a grief counciler.

 

[Samandiriel]

I'm concidering a career as a grief counciler.

I think the world needs more of them. If you peel away the painful layers there is a renewal of spirit.

 

[yui]

I weep bitter tears not for the thread,
I understand it maybe one day dead,
my heart is heavy from lack of discussion,
which in turn is the reason for its inability for percussion.

Empty-handed I entered the thread

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going --

Two simple happenings

That got entangled.



The way Kozan Ichikyo should read:

Empty-handed I entered the world

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going --

Two simple happenings

That got entangled.

 

[Samandiriel]

Empty-handed I entered the thread

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going --

Two simple happenings

That got entangled.



The way Kozan Ichikyo should read:

Empty-handed I entered the world

Barefoot I leave it.

My coming, my going --

Two simple happenings

That got entangled.

Where do I know that name from?