Death and writing

[CharleyH]

Gonna be a bit bold here. I forgot my mothers death, and her birthday for the first time in 8 years since she died of breast cancer - girls please remember to get checked! I was busy. Too busy, and forgot. Today being my Dad's birthday, and his one year death coming up in May, I am a little nostalgic, and emotional. Please excuse me. AND NO SORRIES!

Those of you who have seen death or experienced it, do you write of it or want to? Or is death like religion, to have experienced, but we don't speak of?

I know Imp wrote a wonderful Xmas story this past year, and (correct me if wrong) it was non-erotic ... so if you are an erotic writer, and thats what you are, do you do homage to death in an erotic story, no matter if a mother, father, family or stranger? Does it suit eroticism as an off shoot (NOT talking cronnenberg here )

 

[impressive]

I know Imp wrote a wonderful Xmas story this past year, and (correct me if wrong) it was non-erotic ...

Thank you.


I don't write of death -- nor have any compulsion to do so. My dad's death was very hard on me, but I don't see it as inspirational in any way. Dunno why.

Interesting topic, though!

 

[Guest]

Those of you who have seen death or experienced it, do you write of it or want to? Or is death like religion, to have experienced, but we don't speak of?

Yes. .

 

[CharleyH]

Yes. .

Can I ask why?

 

[CharleyH]

Thank you.


I don't write of death -- nor have any compulsion to do so. My dad's death was very hard on me, but I don't see it as inspirational in any way. Dunno why.

Interesting topic, though!

No thanks babe, It (story) stands out. My mom was very impactful on my sex life. Very open, and taught me to take power in my own body. Are peoples parents like this? Or are those idiocyncrasies of "oh god, I dont want to know, mom! PLEASE." True. Do our parents influence out thoughts of sex, writing or otherwise?

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Gonna be a bit bold here. I forgot my mothers death, and her birthday for the first time in 8 years since she died of breast cancer - girls please remember to get checked! I was busy. Too busy, and forgot. Today being my Dad's birthday, and his one year death coming up in May, I am a little nostalgic, and emotional. Please excuse me. AND NO SORRIES!

Those of you who have seen death or experienced it, do you write of it or want to? Or is death like religion, to have experienced, but we don't speak of?

I know Imp wrote a wonderful Xmas story this past year, and (correct me if wrong) it was non-erotic ... so if you are an erotic writer, and thats what you are, do you do homage to death in an erotic story, no matter if a mother, father, family or stranger? Does it suit eroticism as an off shoot (NOT talking cronnenberg here )

Depends on what you mean.

Do I write of death? Depends on what story, and what you consider writing about death. I write about a character. Period. Death is a part of life, whether they're afraid fo it, or if they believe in an afterlife, or if another character dies, or if they're trying to cope with the death of someone close to them. If it affects the characters, then I write about it. But I can't say I focus any more on death than anything else, unless the character is focusing on it, and that seems like thier choice, not mine.

I do have tragic characters, ones that are pretty much doomed from the beginning to die. So I guess I'd have to answer yes to the question.

Q_C

 

[The_Fool]

I've done two eulogy type poems. One posted here, one not (yet). Death often drives me to write, to yield to my demons, but not necessarily erotica.

 

[oggbashan]

Been there:

My 3rd Earth Day story was about a funeral.

Death is part of life, so why not?

Been to a funeral today...

Comes of being a certain age.

Og

 

[CharleyH]

Depends on what you mean.

Do I write of death? Depends on what story, and what you consider writing about death. I write about a character. Period. Death is a part of life, whether they're afraid fo it, or if they believe in an afterlife, or if another character dies, or if they're trying to cope with the death of someone close to them. If it affects the characters, then I write about it. But I can't say I focus any more on death than anything else, unless the character is focusing on it, and that seems like thier choice, not mine.

I do have tragic characters, ones that are pretty much doomed from the beginning to die. So I guess I'd have to answer yes to the question.

Q_C

No no. Not focussing on death, but can one write a hommage to death in a sex story or have death surrounding sex, without it losing its erotic impact?

EDIT TO ADD: And also without it seeming incestuous, Yui may be helpful here

 

[oggbashan]

No no. Not focussing on death, but can one write a hommage to death in a sex story or have death surrounding sex, without it losing its erotic impact?

Three of my stories 'Loving Hannah'; 'Hannah and Kay' and 'Maids-in-Waiting' would be pointless unless the main character(s) had died.

Ghost stories are like that.

Og

 

[Guest]

Can I ask why?

It wasn't exactly intentional. I had been content to try and forget all about it and never once thought about writing about it. I also never planned to write for last years Halloween contest.

A week before the Halloween contest started, I sat down at the computer and just started typing. It poured out faster than I could type it. I didn't even edit it. I checked it for spelling and grammer and submitted it the same day.

When it was done I actually felt like a huge burden had been lifted.

 

[impressive]

Do our parents influence out thoughts of sex, writing or otherwise?

If my mother influenced me sexually in any way it was in rebellion. She was, during my formative years, devoutly Catholic. The body was a tool of sin. Sex was a marital duty. Period. I decided very early on that that was hogwash -- and went the opposite direction.


Dran's story involving death should not be missed.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

No no. Not focussing on death, but can one write a hommage to death in a sex story or have death surrounding sex, without it losing its erotic impact?

EDIT TO ADD: And also without it seeming incestuous, Yui may be helpful here

I may have, if I understand you correctly, in my last submission (link to in my sig-line). Then again, i might not have, if I misunderstand. I think the question is more, can one write a hommage to death in a sex story or have death surrounding sex while having its erotic impact still be the center of the story?

Will it lose it's impact. i don't think mine did, but the erotic impact seemed less important to the readers (according to the few PCs I recieved) and myself both.

Am I understanding any better?



Q_C

 

[AppleBiter]

To answer your question, yes and no. For erotica, I don't find death to be inspirational . . . for what I assume to be the obvious reasons. Grief and porn don't mix in my little world.

However, I do find death to be inspirational for poetry and some non-erotic stories simply because it is a topic that stirs deep emotions within me. Sometimes, writing about something horrible is like emotionally throwing up. You feel better afterword.

I wouldn't say that my writings about death are the best writings I do, but in some cases, they're the most necessary. They take those burning, twisting, gut-wrenching feelings and give voice to them so that they're not caged within me.

Anyway, that's my 2 centavos.

AppleBiter

 

[CharleyH]

Three of my stories 'Loving Hannah'; 'Hannah and Kay' and 'Maids-in-Waiting' would be pointless unless the main character(s) had died.

Ghost stories are like that.

Og

So we have them Og, talk about them?

 

[CharleyH]

It wasn't exactly intentional. I had been content to try and forget all about it and never once thought about writing about it. I also never planned to write for last years Halloween contest.

A week before the Halloween contest started, I sat down at the computer and just started typing. It poured out faster than I could type it. I didn't even edit it. I checked it for spelling and grammer and submitted it the same day.

When it was done I actually felt like a huge burden had been lifted.

Thank you, for that. I think people are too afraid to even write of it, and I actually, in rl, well I wont tell, but I do think death is, and THIS SOUND ODD, has its benefits. Well, you have to understand my experience to get this, but I think more than birth, more than anything death impacts us, and so it is a bit on par with, at least our first sex experience ... never we forget. Is there a paralell?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I can think of stories that might be erotic in spite of death, but I can't imagine a story being erotic because of it, unless you're into snuff. And snuff is more about murder than about death anyhow.

Death can be very romantic and metaphorical, and it's an easy way to generate pathos in a story. But in truth, death is about as anti-erotic as you can get, polar opposite.

The death that's played around with in erotic vampire stories is metaphorical death, by the way: the "dead" are still around and usually horny, so that doesn't count.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

deleted

 

[CharleyH]

I can think of stories that might be erotic in spite of death, but I can't imagine a story being erotic because of it, unless you're into snuff. And snuff is more about murder than about death anyhow.

Death can be very romantic and metaphorical, and it's an easy way to generate pathos in a story. But in truth, death is about as anti-erotic as you can get, polar opposite.

The death that's played around with in erotic vampire stories is metaphorical death, by the way: the "dead" are still around and usually horny, so that doesn't count.

Well I do understand that death in itself is not erotic, other than to those we dare not speak. But, like in Hollywood, can not porn have a cumming effect, even if someone dies for example?

 

[cloudy]

I think death is a sorry topic to write about.

Why? It's as much a part of life as birth. Why do you find it so disturbing?

 

[oggbashan]

The only times I ever wrote about death were when I gave the eulogies at my grandmothers and my niece's funerals. I think death is a sorry topic to write about.

I don't agree with the second sentence. The funeral I attended today was a celebration of the life of a woman who had influenced and aided her community. She was a practising Christian who believed that death was only an incident on her way. She was sure and she was certain about the resurrection.

The whole event was about saying 'Thank You' for her life. Of course there was some sadness for those she had left but they know they will meet again.

I have written about one of my uncles and his wife. They are both dead years ago but they live again in my memory every time I think of them. That is once a day when I wind up the clock my aunt left to me. His funeral was a celebration for the life of an East End (of London) character. The funeral procession started through the Saturday market outside his home. The whole market stopped for him and when the cortege cleared the last stall the stallholders and passers-by gave him three cheers.

My aunt, who was much older than my uncle (how much older we didn't find out until she died), waited a few years and then installed a toy boy in her flat. He was thirty years younger than she was and he looked after her during her last short illness. Her family had to comfort him because he missed her so much. We knew she had gone on to join her husband and we were sure she'd find some way to make them a threesome on the other side.

Uncle and Aunt lived life to the full. We celebrated the enjoyment they had given to so many people. My eldest uncle even played the spoons at the funeral in tribute to his youngest brother. (Eldest uncle was Chairman of an Orchestral Society, a retired Justice of the Peace, a Churchwarden and had more letters after his name than the length of his name but playing the spoons was a Cockney tradition so in his best Savile Row suiting - he played the spoons).

At the funeral feast his brothers and sisters sang 'Down at the Old Bull and Bush', 'The Lambeth Walk' and a few rude Cockney songs. My uncle would have appreciated that. He was always poking fun at his serious brothers.

My family celebrated my uncle's death. That funeral was a happy occasion.

Og

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

deleted

 

[CharleyH]

The only times I ever wrote about death were when I gave the eulogies at my grandmothers and my niece's funerals. I think death is a sorry topic to write about.

The future is, even for a second uncertain. Would you rather people live for the nothingness of it, but for hope? The uncertainties of the past are no more reliable, and the present is too fleeting. What do people have Joe? WHAT is most reliable. The future? Not here yet. The present is the past already as I write.

 

[English Lady]

Death is sad. You feel loss, you feel pain, you miss the person and you know you'll not see them again (least not in this life) and that makes the sadness even more intense.

I've only experienced one death in my immediate family, that was my Grandad's death when I was 15. I miss him at the most bizarre times and I dream about him sometimes. I dreamt of him holding my baby in his arms when I was pregnant -anyway to the question in hand.

I've written about someone who was dying in a story,as a twist in the end....if anything the feedback tells me it detracts from the sexy feel earlier in the story but I just felt compulsed to write it that way,it just seemed right to do so.

 

[Guest]

It wasn't exactly intentional. I had been content to try and forget all about it and never once thought about writing about it. I also never planned to write for last years Halloween contest.

A week before the Halloween contest started, I sat down at the computer and just started typing. It poured out faster than I could type it. I didn't even edit it. I checked it for spelling and grammer and submitted it the same day.

When it was done I actually felt like a huge burden had been lifted.

Yes. I can understand this.

When my brother was diagnosed with brain cancer I couldn't even think. Writing erotica was out of the question (though I did pen a tragic poem about my confusion with death). It was more than six months after he died that I could even write anything for Lit.

I did write a very dark story first that I will never submit anywhere, though. It's evil, filled with hate and violence, rape and murder. I trudged my way through it with a great deal of anger. And after I finished it I was finally able to write something erotic. (Although, come to think of it, I started with a "Day After Christmas" poem that was seriously panned in the forum - maybe I shouldn't have bothered! )

I did keep a lengthy journal during the awful time between his diagnosis and death and for some months after. I've been looking back over that now, trying to compile something out of the grief-driven ramblings. Cantdog has been helping, sweet man, making suggestions, helping me organize my thoughts.

But basically, now I just need to get my butt in gear and write.