UrbanBohemian
Elegiac Raconteur
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2016
- Posts
- 2,056
Dear X
- Thread starter sunshinegirl05
- Start date
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Posts
- 82,382
Dear Oops,
I almost couldn't read past the "I thought it was the UPS guy" because I started laughing too hard. Yes, my mind went right there to, "So glad you're here" scene as you pulled him through the front door and, well, all for naught because I finally finished the sentence.
Sincerely,
Laughing and almost disappointed, but not really
UrbanBohemian
Elegiac Raconteur
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2016
- Posts
- 2,056
Dear perpetually shoeless Litster,
I actually laughed out loud at that one! Thanks, I needed a good laugh.
That one's right up there with "I'm here to deliver your pizza. It's extra... HOT. And plenty of sausage!" Bow wow chicka bow wow chicka chicka...
IhateClowns
Censored
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2010
- Posts
- 25,386
Dear Oklahoma,
While trying to prepare my family for the tornados coming tonight you decide to amplify things by shaking the earth. It's bad enough trying to get the storm shelter ready and then adding a 3.7 magnitude earthquake, just tops it all off.
Signed,
I really need to move.
While trying to prepare my family for the tornados coming tonight you decide to amplify things by shaking the earth. It's bad enough trying to get the storm shelter ready and then adding a 3.7 magnitude earthquake, just tops it all off.
Signed,
I really need to move.
Titts4Tatts
Salt & pepper 💋
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2014
- Posts
- 2,245
Dear gorgeous weather.
Thank you !!! I would be so terrified of storms and quakes.
Signed,
Hopes you stay for a while.
Thank you !!! I would be so terrified of storms and quakes.
Signed,
Hopes you stay for a while.
B
Bookishleigh
Guest
Dear X-husband,
I'm sorry you were hoping we were getting back together. The way you handled the entire situation, however, is the EXACT reason we will never ever get back together. I assumed you were wanting a physical relationship, but I was wrong - because you cannot even say FUCK, SEX, or MAKING LOVE. It's "do stuff" in your vocabulary. I am a grown up though - if I want sex, I say exactly that.
When I told you I had a date tomorrow night you immediately shut down and refused to finish talking to me. (Shouldn't be so nosy.) Instead, 30 minutes ago I get a HUGE email detailing all your feelings and you imply in that I should be grateful I'm getting your feelings in an email. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who has to use electronics (email, text, et cetera) to show their feelings.
I'm sorry you're hurt; you hurt me for years though. I owe you nothing now.
Signed,
Divorced for a reason
I'm sorry you were hoping we were getting back together. The way you handled the entire situation, however, is the EXACT reason we will never ever get back together. I assumed you were wanting a physical relationship, but I was wrong - because you cannot even say FUCK, SEX, or MAKING LOVE. It's "do stuff" in your vocabulary. I am a grown up though - if I want sex, I say exactly that.
When I told you I had a date tomorrow night you immediately shut down and refused to finish talking to me. (Shouldn't be so nosy.) Instead, 30 minutes ago I get a HUGE email detailing all your feelings and you imply in that I should be grateful I'm getting your feelings in an email. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who has to use electronics (email, text, et cetera) to show their feelings.
I'm sorry you're hurt; you hurt me for years though. I owe you nothing now.
Signed,
Divorced for a reason
AKentuckyLady
Damsel in Defiance
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2015
- Posts
- 8,577
((hugs)) Stay strong, you deserve so much happiness and someone special. This is just another form of manipulation (and boy, do I know what that's like).
UrbanBohemian
Elegiac Raconteur
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2016
- Posts
- 2,056
Dear X-
I don't care that you're a sex worker. I don't know why you thought I'd lose respect for you if I found out but I'm all for safe and legal prostitution and I think you have the right to make your living however the fuck you want as long as you're not victimizing people. We're both adults. I don't care how many people you've had sex with and it's not anything that should define you as a person. Having sex with people isn't immoral. And I don't know if some of your clients are married or not either but I don't care about that any more than the rest of it. Do porn sites ask if you're married and whether or not your spouse cares about porn before you open the page? No. That's their business and all you're doing is providing a needed service in the world between consenting adults. I have a couple of friends who are escorts, a couple of former strippers, and one who was a cam girl. I don't see anything about it that is immoral or unethical.
I'm happy you finally told me and I hope now we can move forward with our friendship in a state of mutual respect and honesty. Sex work is a perfectly valid profession and I believe what you do with your time and your body is no one's business but yours. Do what you want to do. I'm all good with it.
Signed
Your non-sexphobic friend.
I don't care that you're a sex worker. I don't know why you thought I'd lose respect for you if I found out but I'm all for safe and legal prostitution and I think you have the right to make your living however the fuck you want as long as you're not victimizing people. We're both adults. I don't care how many people you've had sex with and it's not anything that should define you as a person. Having sex with people isn't immoral. And I don't know if some of your clients are married or not either but I don't care about that any more than the rest of it. Do porn sites ask if you're married and whether or not your spouse cares about porn before you open the page? No. That's their business and all you're doing is providing a needed service in the world between consenting adults. I have a couple of friends who are escorts, a couple of former strippers, and one who was a cam girl. I don't see anything about it that is immoral or unethical.
I'm happy you finally told me and I hope now we can move forward with our friendship in a state of mutual respect and honesty. Sex work is a perfectly valid profession and I believe what you do with your time and your body is no one's business but yours. Do what you want to do. I'm all good with it.
Signed
Your non-sexphobic friend.
BlackCashmere
Kindness begets Kindness
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2008
- Posts
- 34,239
Dear Dimples,
I hope and pray you and your loved ones remain safe...I lived in Oklahoma for a few years and the weather was always pretty extreme, and that was long ago...
They say Chicago is the Windy City?...Chicago has NOTHING on Oklahoma in terms of winds...I lived in both cities in my life, and that wind was harsh...
Be careful sweetie...
Hugs...
D
Deleted member 1306910
Guest
Dear Divorced,
Wanna Bang? Fuck? Put the hot dog in the taco?
Signed, Grown-but-still-immature.
BlackCashmere
Kindness begets Kindness
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2008
- Posts
- 34,239
makemewet69
Whisper to me...
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2016
- Posts
- 9,724
Dear lying, cheating, no good son of a bitch,
Tonight showed me I made the right choice when I divorced your sorry lying ass! I loath you and wish I never had to see your face again.
Signed,
Pissed the fuck off
Tonight showed me I made the right choice when I divorced your sorry lying ass! I loath you and wish I never had to see your face again.
Signed,
Pissed the fuck off
BlackCashmere
Kindness begets Kindness
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2008
- Posts
- 34,239
S
sks43
Guest
Dear Pissed,
Let's go find us some football players to shower with to lift your mood.
But, if you need to chat. I'm here for you!
Sincerely,
Boomer Sooner!
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Posts
- 82,382
Dear Divorced for a Reason and Pissed the fuck off,
I'm starting to wonder if we weren't all married to the same man.
Kai tora borei na filisei ton kolo mou
Malaka!
Signed,
I was too good for him to begin with!
Little_Sister
Shhh. I'm not really here
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2012
- Posts
- 12,797
B
Bookishleigh
Guest
Dear Divorced for a Reason and Pissed the fuck off,
I'm starting to wonder if we weren't all married to the same man.
Kai tora borei na filisei ton kolo mou
Malaka!
Signed,
I was too good for him to begin with!
My ex couldn't fulfill one woman let alone three.....
barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Posts
- 82,382
My ex couldn't fulfill one woman let alone three.....
Why do you think I got rid of him?
JennyNo1
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 1, 2010
- Posts
- 23,459
Dear Technically You're a Litster But You Never Come on the Boards,
I hope you know how happy I am to be back in touch with you. I didn't realize how connected we always were until we started talking again. You're like a place where I can just relax. Your life is changing, and I hope that there will always be a little space in it left for me.
Signed,
Mercedes
I hope you know how happy I am to be back in touch with you. I didn't realize how connected we always were until we started talking again. You're like a place where I can just relax. Your life is changing, and I hope that there will always be a little space in it left for me.
Signed,
Mercedes
ShelbyBubbles
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
- Posts
- 5,605
Dear XXX
LOL...your advice totally worked, "Chances are he'll follow his penis"
Now the bigger hurdle, but he's going to help me there.
There is definitely method to my madness.
signed,
Nothing Shakespearean About It.
So proud of you Leighdee Bug!
Leigh81
Live life 110%
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2014
- Posts
- 66,924
So proud of you Leighdee Bug!
I asked him straight up or if I needed to go upstairs to do it myself
L
ShelbyBubbles
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2015
- Posts
- 5,605
Hornblende
Exploring eloquence
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2015
- Posts
- 19,195
Dear Northerly Wind,
Kindly fuck off and give us our spring temperatures back.
Not very cordially,
H.
Kindly fuck off and give us our spring temperatures back.
Not very cordially,
H.
UrbanBohemian
Elegiac Raconteur
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2016
- Posts
- 2,056
Dear Saturn,
Who do you think you're impressing? You just spin around and around with your gaudy rings and expect everyone to compliment you on your bling. Well what have you ever done to deserve a compliment, Saturn? Collect moons? Give off toxic gasses? Take up space? What have you done for me lately, Saturn? What have you done for anyone lately? I used to call you the "Mr. T of the solar system." Now I realize you're more like Kanye West. Why do you think you're so special, Saturn? You're not the biggest planet. You're not the brightest. You don't support life. You're not even the most beautiful. Not by a long shot. Saturn, you remind me of one of those older women who get breast implants and lip injections because they're insecure about their future as trophy wives and parade all around town showing them off. Or even better, you remind me of one of those "Bridezilla" types who demands a huge rock from her fiance with "What, you're telling me I'm not worth 20 grand?" and then goes out of her way to show off her gaudy excessive symbol of her own greed. No. You're not worth that, Saturn. And the fact that you think you are speaks to your inflated ego and nothing else. That's right, Saturn. You're a planetzilla. You should trade names with Uranus. I'll be blunt, Saturn. You're kind of a dick. And I see through your shit.
-Your cosmically insignificant neighbor in the solar system.
Who do you think you're impressing? You just spin around and around with your gaudy rings and expect everyone to compliment you on your bling. Well what have you ever done to deserve a compliment, Saturn? Collect moons? Give off toxic gasses? Take up space? What have you done for me lately, Saturn? What have you done for anyone lately? I used to call you the "Mr. T of the solar system." Now I realize you're more like Kanye West. Why do you think you're so special, Saturn? You're not the biggest planet. You're not the brightest. You don't support life. You're not even the most beautiful. Not by a long shot. Saturn, you remind me of one of those older women who get breast implants and lip injections because they're insecure about their future as trophy wives and parade all around town showing them off. Or even better, you remind me of one of those "Bridezilla" types who demands a huge rock from her fiance with "What, you're telling me I'm not worth 20 grand?" and then goes out of her way to show off her gaudy excessive symbol of her own greed. No. You're not worth that, Saturn. And the fact that you think you are speaks to your inflated ego and nothing else. That's right, Saturn. You're a planetzilla. You should trade names with Uranus. I'll be blunt, Saturn. You're kind of a dick. And I see through your shit.
-Your cosmically insignificant neighbor in the solar system.
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